Looks like my brother, Sgt. Joe foo' the Marine, should be heading home soon, first going from Fallujah to Kuwait before going to North Carolina and finally getting leave to Boise. I was thinking I should probably get him a gift, but what's like the standard gift for someone returning from war? I was never taught that, but I have some ideas:

* A bottle of whiskey (only thing worse than war is war with no booze).

* A gift certificate for Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

* A coupon for psychiatric help for that pesky Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

* A case of whiskey.

* Some bootleg DVDs with Arabic subtitles so the change to civilian life isn't too jarring.

* An IMAO t-shirt (who doesn't love those?).

* A subscription to "Whiskey of the Month" club.

* A battle-scarred Vermont Teddy Bear.

* "My Other Car Is a Tank" bumper sticker.

* The head of some hippy protestor on a stick.

* Does whiskey come in gallon jugs?

* A cool gun... or do think he'd be tired of those?

* GI Joe action figures so he can reenact his own tour of duty (do they come with their own little plastic portable DVD player and GameBoy Advance for realism?).

* The movie Farenheit 911 so he knows he was only fighting for Halliburton and Bush’s cronies.

* Some Halliburton stock, so he'll really felt he had a stake in that war.

* So what's like the best whiskey brand?

Any other ideas for gifts? Please put them in the comments.