What does the future hold for the world in 2006? Some might say - it's like a Christmas present - you'll just have to wait and see.

Thankfully, every year - I peek!!

Just like Christmas presents and national security - it's always good to have a little inside advance information.

I, RightWingDuck, would like to present - My Predictions for 2006.

2006 predictions.

Nancy Pelosi will elope with Osama Bin Laden. They'll divorce months later when she discovers that he is too "Pro America".

Sean Penn will write a new book called "Little Sean and his friend Abdul". It will be the first pop up book where bits of Abdul get spread all over the room. Of course, it will become a huge hit. Sean will win an Oscar just for his interviews – but will be embarrassed to learn that the academy thought he was "playing retarded".

At a Los Angeles press conference, Ward Churchill will gain new standing in the African American community after announcing that the NAACP has given him an ID card designating him "Black like rice". After the press conference, Mr. Churchill is pulled over by the LAPD and given the initiation ceremony.

Al Sharpton will discover Jesus Christ and become a Baptist minister.

Noam Chomsky will write a new book. It will have 200 pages of the same 3 sentences: Bush Lied. Screw America. America is Evil. It will become a cult classic.

Nancy Pelosi will marry Noam but divorce him a short while later after discovering that he is too "Pro America."

Cindy Sheehan will draw 10,000 people to a protest when she declares: "If Bush doesn't withdraw our troops – I'll set myself on fire." Unfortunately, 9900 of the visitors will bring gasoline and matches.

Camp Casey visitors will mysteriously disappear due to some unknown substance called "Crawford Quicksand"

George Clooney, inspired by the critical acclaim from his Senator Macarthy movie will make a film depicting the plight of the poor 9/11 hijackers. He will then go on a campaign defending the hijackers' families and their right to reclaim the hijackers' frequent flier miles.

Hollywood will launch a new film called Here's Christianity. It will feature three actors defecating on a crucifix for ninety minutes and will be nominated for six Golden Globes. No pork rinds will be served at the theatre for fear of offending Muslims.

After undergoing a lot of scrutiny, UN Secretary Kofi Annan will announce that he will forego his salary from the United Nations and live exclusively on bribes.

The New York Times will merge operations with Al Jazeera. Six months later – problems will emerge when the Times finds Al Jazeera to be too "Pro America."

Hollywood will attempt to appease conservatives with Brokeback Mountain II. The sequel features two sheepherders who fall in love - with the sheep.

Fidel Castro, who mocked Florida Governor Jeb Bush's pudgy physique- will launch a new exercise video. It will feature Fidel doing a stair stepping routine. Unfortunately, Fidel will fall off the stairs and break his other wrist.

Mary Mapes – the disgraced CBS producer involved in the forged National Guard memos- will be fired from her job as a bank teller. "What do you mean those bills were forged?" she'll say. "Has anyone PROVEN that they were from a game of Monopoly?"

New Orleans will flood yet again. This time, FEMA officials will simply give up and arrive with giant sprinklers and water slides.

Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco will write a new book called – Governors Who Cry Too Much.

In preparation for the next flood, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin will introduce a new readiness plan: Buses that are pre-flooded.

California Governor Ahnuld will leave the back biting, back-stabbing world of politics and return to the back biting, back-stabbing world of acting saying – Agents and producers – those people are real.

NBC news ratings will continue to plunge. The network will panic over its sinking ship until it realizes its only in 4 inches of water.

Robert Blake will receive the acting assignment of his dreams with a big dollar payday. The bad news is that he will leave his script behind at the restaurant and the part will go to another actor. The good news is that he'll finally find his gun.

Donald Trump – who unfairly catches a lot flak over his unique hairpiece – will have a Rabid New York Sewer rat attach itself to his scalp. He keeps it as a hairpiece when people comment that it looks much more realistic

President Bush will revamp the Mexico Border Security proposal forgoing the old Catch and Release program. New programs will include – Catch, Hold, and Release – Catch, Hold, Warn, and Release – and Amnesty.

Sesame Street will introduce its first fully rehabilitated character called the Tookie Monster. Two weeks later, Grover and Big Bird will be discovered dead with their bodies horribly mutilated. Police will later find the Tookie Monster passed out next to Mr. Snuffalufagus in a West Oakland crack house.

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See, peeking is fun. Will all of this come to pass? Of course it will - try to act surprised.