Ryan's name is still Ryan Seacrest. And I wanna hear about your suntan. The guys are all fired up, and Taylor is wooing.

Paula has started the seal clapping early. This is the forward seal clapping, not the upward seal clapping. And Simon is looking good. I just hope he's not sharing Paula's drink tonight. But I don't think he has a mad crush on any of the boys (maybe Ace, he's pretty).

IDOLS 01... Gedeon is going first tonight. He likes to paint. He talks very deliberately, I wonder if that is on purpose. I really like Gedeon. I first sighed when he started singing "When a Man Loves a Woman", but it could be a good wailing song, so I'm gonna listen. I'm so fair-minded like that. Ok, the first phrase was choppy and off-key, but after that it was very good. He has good pipes and great stage presence. I'll vote for that. Doesn't Simon always use "odd" to describe Gedeon? I can't fault him that, because I will now always use "Mr. F" to describe Kellie Pickler.

IDOLS 02... Chris was styling his hair like Ryan Seacrest a couple years ago, then when he started losing it, he started shaving it. He's singing "Broken" by Seether. Kind of a softer side of Chris. He has so much talent. I love to listen to him, and he's a great performer. I'm voting for Chris, as always.

IDOLS 03... Kevin Covais. I think this is going to be his last night, as he just squeaked by last week. He's singing "Vincent (Starry Starry Night)" by Don Maclean. It's a great song, one of Frank's favorites, but he was boring. He's not doing anything for me anymore. Paula is hugging herself. And someone is having microphone issues. It's true what Simon said about it being like watching puppies play. It's cute, but after about 30 seconds, your like, hey! Let's watch our new Harry Potter DVD instead!

Taylor met Christopher Cross. Cool.

IDOLS 04... Oh, I just started clapping, because Bucky is gonna sing "Wave on Wave" by Pat Green. I hope this is good, I'm so excited! Ok, where are his backup vocals? They're way too quiet. But he's doing a good job, it's just too quiet. I don't know if it's because he just doesn't have that strong a voice, or if it was a bad arrangement... If I'm telling the truth, it was good karaoke. I know, I know, I like him too, but that was just ok. Bucky has a twin brother. You know, Bucky has such a nice smile, I hate to see him go. Maybe he'll make it through.

IDOLS 05... Will Makar. He's studying Japanese. He's singing "How Sweet It Is" by the wonderful James Taylor. What is going on tonight with the music? Everything is so quiet. Are they having sound troubles, or are they just not arranging the songs well this week? He wasn't bad, but he wasn't great. It was pretty boring, and that's one of those songs that's not good for American Idol, but there are still some James Taylor songs that I would be ok with on the show. So far, Frank and I are still waiting to be blown away tonight. Paula just gave him a room key (allegedly), and Simon said it was average. I have to agree with that.

IDOLS 06... Taylor is dressed like an Easter bunny for his pre-singing clip. He used to play one in the mall. He's got such a good feeling about him, you know? He's doing "Takin' It To the Streets" by Doobie Brothers / Michael McDonald. WOO! Holy, I'm gonna have to start watching him with my eyes closed. WOO! He gets really lost in the music, no? WOO! Frank's laughing, I'm perplexed. WOO! The singing was great. WOO! The sound is awful tonight. WOO! The dancing was ... interesting. Oh dear. WOO! He was what we were waiting for tonight. WOO!

IDOLS 07... Elliott Yamin. Wow, that's impressive. He sings so well with 95% hearing loss in one ear. Kudos. He's singing "Heaven", which I know as a Bryan Adams song, but someone probably remade it. I loved it when Bryan Adams did it. I would have liked for him to do much more with that song, but he was solid, once again. Look, Paula just spilled her vodka. Waiter! Simon's right, it wasn't his best. But it was good.

IDOLS 08... Ace Young. Ace is a handyman in Hollywood. Tonight he is trying to be Justin Timberlake singing "Butterflies" by Michael Jackson. My first impression is of those jeans. From far away they look like '80s tightpants. Dear Ace, We get that you can sing an entire song in falsetto. Please stop doing that. My goodness, he just doesn't do anything for me. He did a good job, but ugh. If I want to hear JT, I'll pull out my 'NSYNC CDs or my JT CD.

In order of tonight's performance (and y'all give me a break. It's not my fault that Will always picks the wrong song, and it's not my fault that Ace made a bigger impression than Bucky tonight, because believe me, it's hard for me to put Ace above Bucky):

Taylor*
Gedeon*
Chris*
Elliott*
Ace
Bucky
Will
Kevin

My predictions for tomorrow night: Bo Bice will perform. I think Will and Kevin should go home, but I think it will be Bucky and Kevin. I think Kellie and Kinnik should go home based on last night, but I think it will be Kinnik and Ayla, and Melissa will be on the bubble. Because people seem to think that Kellie's hotness equals vocal talent.

I wanna hear about your spinach salad.