Top Ten Concerns Of A Parent Of A Three-Armed Baby
TOP FIVE DRAWBACKS A PARENT HAS WITH A THREE-ARMED BABY:
5. Risk of thumb-sucking increases by 50%.
4. Pattycake reduced to chaotic slapping frenzy.
3. Roger Ebert fears layoff because of three-thumbs-up competition, want kid rubbed out.
2. I hope you know how to sew, because there is no such thing as Freak Baby Gap.
1. You just know that his uncle's going to teach him to give three fingers at once.
TOP FIVE BENEFITS OF HAVING A THREE-ARMED BABY:
5. Kid can count to 15 when others have to take off their shoes or pants to get to 11.
4. Pad, keyboard, and mouse... this kid's going to be a Quake champ.
3. Putting him a freak show will be a big blow to his self-esteem, but college ain't cheap, boy.
2. There's no way Michael Jackson would want to pound his ass. No way in Hell.
1. If this turns out to be the return of Jesus Christ, they can nail him to a cross and he can still pull out a cell phone to call for help.
Stumble It!