Short Shameful Confession
For the past three weeks, I thought I was playing that America's Army combat training and simulation game, but it turned out I was playing America's Salvation Army.
Now the whole "Hit the mouse button to ring the bell, repeat." instructions that came with it makes a lot more sense.
Although I did manage to get the Bigger Kettle power-up.
Oh, and the ski mask and gloves, too. Those were kinda cool.
I tried the multiplayer mode, but Harvey kept setting me on fire.