As if Disney's perversion of the Carlo Collodi classic wasn't bad enough.

From Turkey, the same country that keeps Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf in their Bestseller's list, civilization is further lessened by their recent bastardization of Pinocchio and other classic Western folk tales:

The wooden puppet in Carlo Collodi's classic book that wanted to become a real boy was blessed with many interesting features and never ceased to amaze his father, but it now turns out he was also Muslim

In a new version of the book, that was released in Turkey, Pinocchio turns to his father and emotionally announces: "In the name of Allah, give me some bread." Along with dozens of other books that were included in a list recommended by the Turkish Ministry of Education, "Pinocchio" was forced to become Muslim.

Just take a look at the top ten changes they made to the classic tale:

• Pinocchio is carved from a Jew's coffin left over from a late-night cemetery desacration party.

• Gepetto's workshop is used for making wooden rifles for Palestinian security forces while they sell the real rifles to Hamas and Islamic Jihad.

• The Blue Fairy wears a Blue Helmet and is pretty much useless throughout the whole story, spending her time sipping tea with Hezbollah snipers to provide them international peacekeeper human shield coverage.

• Jiminy Cricket is now Hassan Locust, Pinocchio's symbolic outrage against Western Imperialism and support for the Zionist cause.

• When Pinocchio lies, the fuse on his C-4 vest gets longer.

• The Marionette Theater is really just a front for a Saudi-funded madrassa that preaches Wahhab extremism.

• The Farmer's chicken coop that Pinocchio is forced to guard is a Qassam launching site.

• The Cat and The Fox are Mossad agents, trying to make Pinocchio reveal the location of terrorist cells and weapons factories.

• He's not turned into a donkey. He's turned into a camel.

• Who's ever heard of whales in the Mediterranean? It's more likely he's swallowed up into an Israeli detention center and reunited with Gepetto the terrorist there.

Of course, once he's a real boy, Gepetto can still circumcise him with a pair of rusty pruning shears.

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | Stumble It!