I had heard about this story of flying imams freaking out a passenger flight, but I never paid it much attention. I've finally decided to analyze the facts (well, scan one article about it) and assess whether the imams were an actual threat to that flight.

Now, first off, some people think this may be an issue of growing discrimination against Muslims, but I don't think that places all the blame where it actually lies. These Muslims chose to fly; they could have walked instead, and the average American finds a walking Muslim to be 80% less scary. Now, these Muslims may have come on to the plane with no intention of blowing it up, but, being Muslim, you know they were thinking in the back of their heads, "If I blew up this plane, it would really teach those infidels. I'll contemplate this more if I don't feel like watching the in-flight movie."

So, the question becomes were these imams wanting to blow up the plane or only idly thinking about it? For that, let's look at their actions. The first thing they did was pray. I don't find that very threatening because I know my Jesus prayers are much more powerful than their angry Allah prayers, so I would have just prayed to counteract their prayers. But here is where things get scarier: The imams prayed a second time. I don't know if a Jesus prayer is two times as powerful as an angry Allah prayer, but I do know that praying a second time would not be an option for me because two prayers that close together would seem like I'm pestering God, and I'm always afraid of pestering God so much that He just stops listening to me at all.

The next threatening thing the imams did was to evenly distribute themselves throughout the airplane. Some were afraid this was tactical so the imams could quickly control all parts of the plane. There are many more innocent explanations, though, such as the imams just don't get along very well and felt the need to separate themselves. Also, they may just find each other to be smelly.

The imams were overheard invoking Osama bin Laden and condemning America for what they did to Saddam. That's really no more threatening than the rhetoric of the average liberal, but, if I had my way, I'd throw them off of flights too.

Finally, most suspiciously, some imams asked for seatbelt extenders when they weren't particularly rotund imams. Some believe they might have been planning to use these as weapons, but I don't find that threatening at all. If an imam charged me with a belt buckle, I'd just punch him in his dumb imam face. If a plane was hijacked using nothing but belt buckles, those people deserve to be blown up in my opinion. Now, bomb belts had more girth specifically around the waist, and, if the imams needed seatbelt extenders for that, then that's a bit more of a threat.

Overall, these imams were acting wacky enough that some investigation was required. Plane flights are bad enough with screaming kids and no leg room, and the last thing we need are imams running around praying and swinging belt buckles. Next time, if an airline knows imams will be boarding, they should ask them ahead of time whether they plan on killing everyone on the flight. If the imams say "Yes" or hesitates before saying "No," then maybe they shouldn't be let on the flight. If there is enough demand, airlines can make an imam-only flight which just flies over the ocean so that, if it blows up, no one gets hurt. As a bonus, everyone gets seatbelt extenders without even asking for them. I think that's a fair compromise.

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