Ladies and Gentlemen, sometimes in life a perfect opportunity presents itself. An opportunity for growth. For spritual development. An opportunity to take your awareness and soul to another level.

That opportunity is today.

No, wait. It was yesterday. Sorry you missed it.

However you still have yet another opportunity: The opportunity to help us change the way language is used.

You've heard these expresssions: Wasted. S*#*faced, Gone, Three Sheets to the Wind, tanked.

Now it's time to add yet another way of telling the world you that you were so drunk you needed to throw yourself on the sidewalk just to make sure you knew which way was down. (Hint: It was down.)

Yes, the new expression shall be - "Attacked by Conservatives."

This will forever change the way we read articles.

Example: Senator Ted Kennedy rested in his mansion yesterday by the side of the pool drinking tomato juice. He's relaxing after a long week after being Attacked By Conservatives.

Or better yet,

Randi Rhodes, who is rumored to be on the radio with Air America (our sources are still trying to confirm its existence) left a bar yesterday. She was unable to make it to her show as she was Attacked By Conservatives.

Doesn't this work on all fronts?

I think so.

Have a good safe weekend. Get lots of rest, eat healthful food, and don't get too Attacked by Conservatives.

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | Stumble It!