Recently Barack Obama said that American kids should learn a foreign language, and - typical liberal hypocrite that he is - followed up by saying that he's "embarrassed" that he doesn't know one himself.

Ain't that just like a Democrat, insisting that the "little people" live up to expectations that don't apply to them?

Which makes me wonder what else Mr. O is embarrassed about. I speculate thusly:

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Sometimes at night, he dreams of tapping that booty, and wakes up with sticky sheets.

* Although pro-choice, he chose not to abort his daughters.

* His Secret Service cadre carries guns, but not strictly for hunting.

* Had he starred in Blazing Saddles, Madeleine Kahn's line would've been "Oh... it's NOT twue."

* Grateful for the work of Civil Rights pioneers, but has never ridden on any bus, front or back.

* Knows what arugula is.

* Still harbors doubts that Neo is actually "The One".

* Black, yeah, but sadly, no slave blood.

* Never managed to stay awake through an entire Reverend Wright sermon. That guy is pure pulpit Sominex!

* Wants to pull out of Iraq, but can't pull out of a parking lot without taking someone's bumper with him.

* Once failed to stop a thief who later killed his Uncle Ben.

* Despite his penchant for wearing black, has never once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

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So what do YOU know about Obama's darkest secrets?

Wait... was that racist?