Are they accusing Obama of being Buddhist?
I think someone’s pulling a Tawana, here.
Archive of posts filed under the Obama category.
Modern Art Quiz – UPDATED 10-11-09
The Obamas recently acquired a variety of art works with which to decorate the White House.
Let’s see how well you know your art.
Below you will find a picture of one of the new White House works, followed by two possible titles. See if you can pick the right one.
Good luck!
Ed Ruscha (1983)
A) I Think I’ll…
B) Afghanistan Policy
*****
Richard Diebenkorn (1955)
A) Berkeley no. 52
B) Refrigerator Reject
*****
Josef Albers (1961)
A) Homage to the Square: Elected II
B) It’s Art Because It’s Off-Center
*****
Nicolas De Stael (1954)
A) Nice
B) “A White Guy, An Indian, And A Black Guy Walk Into A Bar…”
*****
Glenn Ligon (1992)
[The phrase “All traces of the Griffin I had been were wiped from existence,” repeats in all caps on the canvas, slowly overlapping until the words disappear into black.]
A) Black Like Me #2
B) “No Beer And No TV Make Homer… something something”
*****
Edgar Degas (c. 1896-1911, cast 1919-32)
A) The Bow
B) Pinched One Off
*****
Alma Thomas (1963)
A) Watusi (Hard Edge)
B) South Park: Cutting Room Floor
*****
Alma Thomas (1973)
A) Sky Light
B) Currier & Ives & Blender
*****
George Catlin (c. 1861-69)
A) A Foot War Party in Council – Mandan
B) No Squaw, No Firewater
*****
George Catlin (c. 1861-69)
A) Buffalo Chase, With Accidents
B) Shouldn’t Have Been Texting
*****
Winslow Homer (1875)
A) Sunset Beaching The Boat
B) A Boat Full Of His Promises
*****
Sam Francis (1960)
A) The White Line
B) Zamboni Accident
*****
William H. Johnson (c. 1944)
A) Children Dance
B) “Braaaaaainssss…”
*****
William H. Johnson (c. 1944)
A) Flower to Teacher
B) When Cousins Marry
*****
William H. Johnson (c. 1944)
A) Folk Family
B) Velcro Dress
*****
William H. Johnson (c. 1944-45)
A) Booker T. Washington Legend
B) “You lie!”
UPDATE 10-11-09 – In the comments, Aletha (who has an art blog and some talent) defended some of the artists I picked on, and I admit that not all of them deserved skewering, but I *really* have to disagree on Diebenkorn. Art is the selective recreation of reality according to the artist’s values. Diebenkorn worked very hard for a long time to paint… nothing.
He went out of his way for hours, days, weeks… to create something with no specific meaning.
Even Michael Moore (whose soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots) doesn’t do that.
Anyway, here’s some good art to cleanse your palate (caution: may contain artistic nudity). I think you’ll be able to see the difference between what THEY think is important and what Diebenkorn values.
Saying kind things
Every so often, something happens that changes your focus. This weekend, at a wedding, one of the scripture passages made me realize that I haven’t been the nicest person in relating to others.
For instance, I have been way too hard on Barack Obama. And I need to correct that.
It’s true that I disagree with many, many, many things he does, says, and believes. However, is he all bad? He can’t be, can he? Of course not.
So I’m going to say some nice things about the president. True stuff.
- Yesterday, we had a farewell breakfast for someone at work. I love breakfast. Under Obama’s economy, we’ll have lots more of those!
- Barack Obama hasn’t bombed America. Even by accident.
- That special family member that you worry about? You can stop worrying. If Barack Obama can amount to something, anyone can.
- Barack Obama makes people feel better about themselves. Such as racists. Think about how justified they feel about their beliefs right now.
- The president has done wonders for international relations. Look how strong France seems compared the the U.S. since Obama took office.
- Obama is not just another typical Chicago politician. Al Capone would have been able to get the Olympics.
- The president is too incompetent to be effectively evil.
I’m sure there are many other good things about Barack Obama. I just can’t think of any.
The REAL Reason Obama’s Olympic Bid Failed – UPDATED 9:30PM
Six people arrested Tuesday evening in a small protest of Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Games were charged with mob action Wednesday.
The five men and one woman interrupted crews that were attempting to hang an Olympic laurel from the Picasso statue in Daley Plaza by dragging the Olympic banner and tossing it into the “eternal flame,” authorities said.
Apparently their protest was more effective than I would have expected.
UPDATE 9:30PM – High praise! to commenter George Guy of The Prophet of Neofederalism for proving Obama is NOT like Hitler:
Hitler was able to bring the Olympics to Berlin.
Buyer’s Remorse
Actual billboard on I-70 in Blue Springs, MO.
I think it’s especially poignant given Friday’s Olympic bitch-slap.
Better Than Sanctions
Obama wants to implement tough new sanctions against Iran. Well, if this is his idea of “tough”, I suspect he may have lost more than one battle to the perforations on a roll of toilet paper.
Can’t stop being Mahmoud’s bitch
Seriously, the best he could do is “we won’t sell them gasoline”? That’s not going to affect anything, since all the cars over there are made out of logs, have stone wheels, no floorboards, and are foot-propelled. It’d be more effective to stop selling them shoes.
And there’s no point in trying to negotiate with them, either. You make a statement like “we’re concerned that you might use your nuclear program to insta-glass Tel Aviv” and they just reply with random stupid nonsense like “the Holocaust never happened”. It’s like having a conversation with an iPod Shuffle.
Besides, how will our negotiators be able to make themselves heard over the crowd of American reporters flocking around Ahmadinejad, pestering him with “Can I have your autograph Mr. Starr? You’re my second-favorite living Beatle!”
History shows that sanctions & negotiations have all the long-term effectiveness of a U2 musical fund-raising concert. If we want to destroy the Iranian regime once and for all, we need a SERIOUS strategy.
I recommend something involving a fur coat, a hooker-looking white girl, and a secret videotape.
Scoff if you want, but consider this: ACORN is now such a pariah that the IRS refuses to associate with them for fear of becoming less popular, and the IRS recently lost a popularity contest to an untreatable, pus-crusted, blistery, genital rash.
If you’ve got a better idea for getting a choke-chain around Iran’s neck, I’m all ears.
I’m Not Sure What the Record For This Is, But I Think He’s Got It Now
Between March 24th and November 9th, 1993, Micheal Williams of the Minnesota Timberwolves sank 97 straight freethrows, setting an NBA record.
That sort of phenomenal precision in hitting a mark remained unsurpassed until September 23rd, 2009, when President Barack Obama managed to smile exactly the same way 130 consecutive times.
I stand in awe of this man’s physical prowess.
Obama’s Secrets: Revealed!
Christopher Andersen’s new book, “Barack and Michelle: Portrait of an American Marriage“, exposed numerous previously undisclosed secrets about President Barack Obama. Here’s just a tiny sample:
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* He isn’t actually black. He’s off-umber.
* Didn’t “pal around” with Bill Ayers, having never been officially promoted beyond “comic-relief sidekick”.
* Despite all the rumors swirling around, he really WAS the first black Czar of the Harvard Law Review.
* Mindless of the threat to national security, never – ever – even once, has he coughed into his elbow.
* Didn’t propose to Michelle until three years after he met her because he was saving up for a downpayment on a teleprompter.
* Tragically, he inherited his basketball skills from his mother’s side.
* Diagnosed with PTSD after killing that fly.
* Doesn’t understand those “secret Muslim” accusations, since five times every day he faces Mecca, kneels on his mat, and prays to Jesus.
* While negotiating with Hillary Clinton to end her primary campaign, got her to settle for the Secretary of State position instead of her original demand of “taking Bill on a tour of Chappaquiddick”.
* Once had a clogged sink full of dirty water. Bailed it out. Been a big fan ever since.
Anyone else who’s read the book, feel free to fill in anything I missed.
We’re Supposed To Do WHAT With Our Elbows?
Rich Galen of Mullings observed:
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If a Republican were the Secretary of Health & Human Services and, as part of the national effort to control swine flu had given the advice to “cough into your elbow” that would have been the national joke for the ensuing six weeks.
And he’s absolutely right.
Comedically speaking, there’s no difference between “plastic wrap & duct tape” and “cough into your elbow”. They’re both serious advice for real problems that can be very easily taken out of context.
For example:
“Where are you more likely to hear the phrase ‘plastic wrap & duct tape’: a Department of Homeland Security Briefing, or an episode of Dexter?”
and
“Overheard in the Clinton Oval Office: ‘I wouldn’t have been impeached if I’d done that into my elbow'”
Anyway, I encourage people to reduce this administration to a tasteless punchline whenever possible, so make today “_______ your elbow” day.
To get you started, I recommend adding the phrase “in your elbow” after every fortune cookie fortune you read. For example:
* “You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability.”
* “Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later.”
* “Something you lost will soon turn up.”
* “A pleasant surprise is in store for you.”
* “You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.”
* “Look for new outlets for your own creative abilities.”
* “Smiling often can make you look and feel younger.”
* “You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.”
* “A thrilling time is in your immediate future.”
* “Plan for many pleasures ahead.”
* “A secret admirer will soon send a sign of affection.”
* “Love always and deeply.”
As always, leave your elbow-mockery in the comments.
By Any Other Name
In December, 2001, President Bush approved Public Law 107-89 declaring 9/11 to be “Patriot Day”.
In April, 2009, Congress passed and President Obama signed into law the Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act. In that Act, September 11th was officially declared “The National Day of Service and Remembrance.”
Screw you.
We know what day it is.
Four Words From Obama
Fox News Legal Analyst Peter Johnson Jr. says he wants to hear 4 words from Obama:
“I hear you, America.”
He didn’t exactly read my mind on that one.
So let’s see… what 4 words would *I* want to hear from That One?
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* “Here’s my birth certificate”
* “Michelle… that dress… tacky.”
* “Commie czars – all fired”
* “Ronald Reagan was right”
* “Let’s kill some terrorists!”
* “No more f@#$ing bailouts!”
* “I suck. I resign”
* “Michael Moore – shut up!”
* “Less taxing, less spending”
* “Southern border – BIG wall”
* “I’m sorry, Officer Crowley”
* “Won’t run for re-election”
What four words do YOU want to hear from Obama?
Another Brick in the Head
EXCLUSIVE!
Thanks to anonymous sources, we here at IMAO (and America is an Obamanation!) have managed to get hold of a secret communique from Secretary of Education Arne Duncan to members of the teachers’ union regarding the President’s live address to our nation’s school children this coming Tuesday:
Greetings, my fellow educators and indoctrination coordinators!
As I am certain you are well aware by now, a truly exciting day in the annals of history approaches, as our beloved President will address school children all over this quite plain and undistinguished nation on Tuesday, September 8th, to ask their help in moving this backward, bitter land of bible-clinging troglodytes forward into the glorious international collective of tomorrow.
I hope you are all as excited as I am by this new and hopeful day of change we can all believe in!
By now, you should have received your classroom kits and instructions on how to make this a true moment of insight and enlightenment for all of the good little progressives who have been entrusted to your care. Remember, our Dear Leader is counting on the cooperation of each and every one of you to help undo any damage that may have been inflicted on our poor, dear children by their awful, evil-mongering parental units during this excruciatingly long and painful summer. Thankfully, though, we have them back under our control now and with your hard work and commitment to our just and noble cause, I am quite certain that their young heads full of mush can still be molded into what our Great Society most needs — conformist worker drones.
Be certain to engage the students in the Party approved activities before, during and after The Great One’s sure-to-be awe-inspiring speech. It is imperative that we not miss this opportunity to drive home The Messiah’s message to these impressionable young children, so they can begin helping us push our agenda on the American People while we still can.
Unfortunately, some students may not be as cooperative as we might hope. Luckily, there are proven methods of dealing with their misbehavior…
[Bart Simpson Chalkboard Generator]
Should that prove ineffective, there is no cause for alarm as we are including several bottles of our newest formula in your classroom kits!
Yours in Faithful “O”bedience,
Arne Duncan
United States Secretary of Education
BREAKING:
The Nose on Your Face has an exclusive copy of the original draft of the Dept. of Education’s classroom activities sheet.
I’m Holding Him Accountable
Dude, if you fall off that bike and crack your skull open, you’re not getting it fixed on the taxpayer’s dime.
Tea Party Tour Tagline Needs Work
I’m all in favor of Tea Parties (the Taxed Enough Already kind, not the froo-froo, blue-haired, extended-pinky kind), but the folks at Tea Party Express have me scratching my head on their efforts to raise money to support their national bus tour:
“The national tea party tour will be supported by paid television ads that include the tagline: “Ask yourself this, would you be willing to put your own family into the hands of Barack Obama’s socialistic health care plan? [emphasis mine]”
Worst. Tagline. Ever.
A tagline is supposed to be pithy, clever, and/or memorable. Let’s see if we can shine this up a little:
* ObamaCare: Let’s test it out on Congress first.
* So bad, even Canadians would vote against it – if they were American and smarter.
* Like treating a paper cut with lemon juice.
* If you’re kidding, I’m not laughing. If you’re serious, I’m getting my gun.
* Like the Special Olympics or something.
* Even Sarah Palin would support putting this plan in front of a Death Panel.
* Ask yourself this, would you be willing to put your own family into the hands of the people who did Pelosi’s face lift?
* It’ll be just like the Post Office, except “going postal” will be known as “going doctoral”.
* The government will protect your health just like they protected GM & Chrysler.
* Tar. Feathers. Democrats. Some assembly required.
If you’ve got a tagline, drop it in the comments.
Except For The Crossed Lines In A Circle Topped By Bird Wings Floating Above The Countryside And Some Rays Of Light, They’re Completely Different
“And if you go and take a look at this, you will find that the Obama health care logo is damn close to a Nazi swastika logo”
Is Rush right?
You tell me.