So Did John Dillinger

Ex-FBI Lawyer Who Falsified Document in Trump-Russia Probe Seeks To Avoid Prison
thehill.com | 12/04/20 | Jordan Williams

Former FBI attorney Kevin Clinesmith, who falsified a document in the 2016 investigation into Russian interference in the presidential election, is seeking to avoid prison time.

Clinesmith’s attorneys filed a 48-page sentencing memorandum on Thursday, USA Today reports, in which they are asking for him to be sentenced to probation. The former lawyer acknowledged he committed a crime but did not intend to mislead investigators.

“Kevin Clinesmith made a grievous mistake,” his attorneys wrote, according to USA Today. “By altering a colleague’s email, he cut a corner in a job that required far better of him. He failed to live up to the FBI’s and his own high standards of conduct.”


 

Another Joe Heard From

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Surgeon General’s Warning

Caution: Do not read without beer, wine, or 12-year-old scotch in hand.

Guaranteed to make you vomit otherwise.

Spoiled Alert:

Worthless Heirs
Townhall.com | December 5, 2020 | John C. Goodman

Sam Jacobs is a 25-year-old on a mission. He’s trying to get possession of his trust fund, which holds more than $30 million.

What does he want to do with the money? Use it to destroy the very system that made his trust fund possible: capitalism.

Jacobs is not alone.

According to The New York Times article “Silver-Spoon Socialists,” there are legions of young people just like him. The Democratic Socialists of America has recently been transformed from a fringe group of older leftists to a national organization 100,000 strong – with most of its members under 35 years of age – according to the article.

A lot of people Jacobs’ age have lots of money to give away. Citing the consulting firm Accenture, the Times reports that the Silent Generation (those born just before or during the Second World War) and the Baby Boomers will provide their heirs with up to $30 trillion by 2030, and as much as $75 trillion by 2060. A lot of those heirs seem to hate the fact that they are heirs.

I want to build a world where someone like me, a young person who controls tens of millions of dollars, is impossible,” says Jacobs.

Got news for you, jerk: you are impossible.


 

Straight Line of the Day: There Are Only So Many Hours in a Day. One of Them Should Be Spent…

Straight Line of the Day: There are only so many hours in a day. One of them should be spent…


 

Welcome to IMAO! Here We Go Again!


 

Caption this!

Time for the fun.


 

Finally, Puns Go Mainstream!

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Babesleaga Week 6 : Ava Gardner vs Gina Lollobrigida

And so we conclude the opening day offerings.

Ava Gardner (2-3-0 Pts. 554) vs Gina Lollobrigida (3-2-0 Pts. 677)

Ava Gardner
Gina Lollobrigida

Poll closes on Sunday December 13th at 9:00 am.

Who do you prefer?
167 votes · 167 answers


 

Babesleaga Week 6 : Sophia Loren vs Elizabeth Taylor

Good evening all, time to vote.

Sophia Loren (4-1-0 Pts. 656) vs Elizabeth Taylor (3-2-0 Pts. 659)

Elizabeth Taylor
Sophia Loren

Poll closes on Sunday December 13th at 9:00 am

Who do you prefer?
209 votes · 209 answers


 

And Coke Was a Real Thing

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Limerick Contest: Joe and Slept-My-Way-Here

You guys are at your best when you create your own limericks, so I won’t impose the first four lines on you. The theme is Joe or Ms. Harris.

.

There once was a fellow named Biden

Whom all of our bright hopes had died in

Half the country said “Great!

Let him run the ship of state!”

Which is fine for Titanic or Poseiden.

.

There once was a team, Biden-Harris

Who said “We’ll always have Paris”

As in climate accord

Which we cannot afford

But they both like spending like a drunk heiress.


 

How’d They Find A Spot Devoid of Giant Signs?

Image released by the China National Space Administration on December 4, 2020, shows China’s national flag unfurled from the Chang’e-5 probe on the moon. The image was taken by a panoramic camera installed on the lander-ascender combination of the probe, before the ascender blasted off from the moon with lunar samples late Thursday.

Well, I’m not going to link to the Chinese website, because you’ve already got enough of their spyware in your computer.

Oh, AND:

No fair trying to co-opt our Star Trek Federation logo!!!!!!


 

Babesleaga Week 6 : Marilyn Monroe vs Grace Kelly

Good afternoon, match 2 is up and running.

Marilyn Monroe (2-3-0 Pts. 709) vs Grace Kelly (5-0-0 Pts. 772)

Grace Kelly
Marilyn Monroe

Poll closes on Sunday December 13th at 9:00 am.

Who do you prefer?
209 votes · 209 answers


 

Straight Line of the Day: If the Modern Media Covered Pearl Harbor …

Straight Line of the Day: If the modern media covered Pearl Harbor …


 

Welcome to IMAO! Now Come Out of The Storm Cellar and Do That Buster Keaton Thing…

… with the building that has no cut-out for a window.

Very 2020.