Ronin Profiles: FormerHostage

FormerHostage Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s FormerHostage. What’s the story behind your name (didn’t I have a post on that?)? Iran, November 4, 1979. Google it. Where do you live? Second townhouse from the left. How old are you? I forget and it’s hard for people to guess my age because I …

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Room 2020

Submitted by FormerHostage: This was actually displayed at my polling place.

Uplifting News in These Abysmal Times

(Although it’s from the BBC, of which one may be justifiably sceptical.) Portugal Finally Recognises Consul Who Saved Thousands From HolocaustBBC | 17 June 2020 | James BadcockEighty years ago, a middle-aged, mid-ranking diplomat sank into deep depression and watched his hair turn grey in days, as he saw the streets of Bordeaux filling with …

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Like Donna Brazile, I’m Giving You the Question in Advance

FormerHostage came up with a devilish twist on the “Straight Line” format for Monday — and since some of us need time to create poetry, I’m giving it to you in advance so you have the weekend to get creative. Monday’s SLotD variation: A limerick contest. Must use one or more of the following subjects: …

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Welcome to IMAO: Through That Door. Oh, and You’d Best Bring a Chair.

(Photo found by FormerHostage)

Sorry, But the Meeting Is Over… Has Been for Quite Some Time, Actually

(Photo found by FormerHostage)

His Other Option Was To Stay Home and Watch MSNBC

Submitted by FormerHostage: If you have content you’d like to submit, please use our submissions page.

Song Parody: Little Ditty

Submitted by FormerHostage: Little ditty about Jack and Diane Two American kids growin’ up wit da Wuhan. Jackie gonna be a football star Diane coughed out loud in backseat of Jackie’s car Suckin’ on chili dogs on a plate between your knees Diane’s sittin’ on Jackie’s lap She turned her head and gave a sneeze …

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Song Parody: Ain’t No Sunshine in Wuhan

Submitted by FormerHostage: Ain’t no sunshine in Wuhan. It’s not warm when Xi’s away. Ain’t no sunshine when Xi’s gone And Xi’s always gone too long Anytime Xi goes away Wonder this time where Xi’s gone Wonder if Xi’s gone to stay Ain’t no sunshine when Xi’s gone And this house just ain’t no home …

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Timeless Music

Many thanks to FormerHostage!! I’ve been a little selfish for the last month or more. FormerHostage sent along this link, discussing why modern music sucks so bad and why it’s not just your opinion. I’m over-simplifying, but that’s the idea. Cripes! I forgot that’s what they used for the display image. There’s not a lot …

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Straight Line of the Day: Now that Cory Booker has dropped out of the race…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments (Suggested by longtime IMAO reader and commenter Former Hostage): Now that fiercely heterosexual Cory Booker has dropped out of the race, one of the first things he is going to do is…

Straight Line of the Day: What’s a Portmanteau Word To Describe The Media?

Per FormerHostage: Straight Line of the Day: What’s a portmanteau word to describe the media? FormerHostage’s Example: Mediots Mine: the Digitaliban. (They televiscerate infidels)

Learn To Cod

FormerHostage posted this suggestion for liberals: “Learn to cod.” Which got me wondering: Are there any life skills at all liberals are qualified for? Telling bears that they are sexist & homosapienphobic? Starting a fire by rubbing dialectics together? Catching water in a non-exclusionary sieve? Eating all plants and berries they find, to celebrate diversity? …

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Ask IMAO Anything: Answers #21

Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included: DamnCat walruskkkch tankdemon Happy Fun Ball FormerHostage Bacon to you one and all! Now for the questions that were not answered. walruskkkch: Does a three hour tour last longer than a 5 year mission? …

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Ask IMAO Anything: #Answers 20

Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included: HokieGomer FormerHostage Happy Fun Ball tankdemon walruskkkch Bacon to you one and all! Now for the questions that were not answered. walruskkkch: When somebody loves you is it no good unless they love you …

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