Man, I want to write something funny, but my head hurts. And it’s Friday. I don’t always write on Friday. And it’s especially hard to write on Friday when your head hurts.
You hear about the vote to surrender in the Senate went down 93-6, with Kerry one of the six voting for surrender? That’s kinda funny. Did you know Kerry served in Vietnam? We lost that war. I don’t know if that was Kerry’s fault, but I sure don’t know it wasn’t. Now he wants to lose us another war. I think I’ll question his patriotism.
I wonder if Kerry really is patriotic?
There, his patriotism was questioned and it can’t be taken back. You may say, “Hey! You can’t question his patriotism! It’s not like you served in Vietnam.” No, I didn’t serve in Vietnam, but I was served in a Vietnamese restaurant. The noodles there were odd. But I ate it all. When I go to a Vietnamese restaurant, I’ll see it through to the end. Can Kerry say the same? He can’t even finish a Philly cheese steak.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the vote to surrender. You may say a vote to pull out troops by the end of the year isn’t a vote to surrender. To that, I say, go to a mirror so you can see your dumb monkey face and punch it. If we pull out of Iraq suddenly, we’re surrendering… just like in ‘nam. We’ll have a reputation like France, no one will fear us, and we won’t be able to win anything. I want my children to be in wars they can win. Don’t you?
Well, my head still hurts. I thought it was a coffee headache, but I’ve had plenty of coffee. Anyway, so if I’m not funny, it’s because of my head… and it’s a Friday. If you’re not funny, that’s just because you’re you.
Later, sportsfans.
Well, the “but I was served in a Vietnamese restaurant” was pretty classic. Don’t feel bad about the humor.
Coffee headaches usually are not just from lack of coffee, but not getting it to your body soon enough. It’s kind of like blue-balling your brain – morning happens, and no coffee? Ouch!
Coffee: I’m sorry, can I make it up to you?
Your brain: Not NOW you can’t!!!
Get some Advil/equiv or be stuck like this all day – it will still feel bad, but it won’t hurt, just give you the same sensation of having been in a washing machine without the actual pain.
Take care, Frank.
Frank your attack on Senator Kerry is appalling; hoever, it reminds me of a story. A teacher in a small Vermont town asks her class how many of them are John Kerry fans. Not really knowing what a John Kerry fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy. The teacher asks Little Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, “I’m not a John Kerry fan.” The teacher says, “Why aren’t you a John Kerry fan?” Johnny says, “I’m a George Bush fan.” The teacher asks why he’s a George Bush fan. The boy says, “Well, my mom’s a George Bush fan and my dad’s a George Bush fan, so I’m a George Bush fan!” The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Vermont, so she asks, “What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?” Little Johnny says, “That would make me a John Kerry fan”.
And that’s the way it is.
If the troops were to be brought home… then we could just let the muslims (fake religion) kill each other off, then we could just march back in and TAKE MY OIL!!! ARRGGH!!! I say that I want to see our troops being able to fire away at the guys trying to hurt them. Start doing pre-emptive strikes aginst these animals!! Hell… two words can solve it all……
….. CARPET BOMB!!!!
LOL captamerica!
Kerry being not patriotic is old news, most of us right wingers already know this, as well as knowing it’s Friday, which means we wear RED-shirts to show your patriotism. My only problem with this is knowing if I get sent out on a mission, I’m gonna be the first one to be killed…hey, who started this red-shirt-wearing Friday anyway???
Wait the topic was John Kerry’s not patriotic and Frank’s not funny on Friday.
DRINK MORE WATER!!!
inane rambling post…out
Maybe you got punched in the head by a dumb monkey faced liberal while you were sleeping last night. That would also explain why coffee does not help. Have you ever tried Excedrin Migraine. It is good for whatever ails you. From migraines to hangovers… even being punched in the head!!!
Our troops should not leave Iraq until it is nothing more than a smoldering crater with an oil pipeline running down to our awaiting tankers. Regardless of what Kerry thinks..
Didn’t he serve in a Vietnamese restuarant or something??
Shimauma is right. Drink water. I used to get really bad, vomit inducing headaches that felt like hangovers (sometime they WERE hangovers, of course, mostly in my younger days tho), and someone suggested I was dehydrated. It worked really well. And coffee dehydrates just as much as booze does.
The lectern is now closed.
If you aren’t sure that Kerry screwed up Vietnam for the U.S., then you need to read the book Unfit For Command by John E. O’Neill and Jerome R. Corsi.
FrankJ:
“so if I’m not funny,”
You’re not.
“it’s because of my head…”
I couldn’t agree with you more.
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
Two Goody’s Powders will kill any headache. Guaranteed. Probably because of the caffiene they have in them. It takes about 15 minutes to kick in. Their a little tough to take taste wise. Just put them on the front of your tongue where there is not many taste buds then, drink something after to wash it down. It is generally a good idea to eat something after as well as it has aspirin in it. Even Doug knows that. Ask Bryce, or the politically correct Ms. Bee.
Monkey Faced Liberal,
I did not know you were here before I posted that last comment. You beat me by a second or two. I just wanted to share my condolences with you over the sacking of that Pseudo-Journalist over at CBS, Dan Rather. Your heart is broken we’re sure, and we all here feel deeply for your loss,
Maybe you want to set your tivo (you probably already have) to record Oprah. She will probably want to have a crying session sometime this week.
George Bush (peace be upon him), sends his best.
War and Peace,
Ron Rockstar
Great. Now decoding Ron Rockstar’s secret message gave ME a headache.
Yay! MFL’s back on IMAO! His comments always make me laugh.
I haven’t seen him on my blog recently, though, and that makes me sad.
Love your story, captamerica.
Remember Manchurian Candidate? I think Kerry is France’s boy. They taught him the surrender technique very well indeed.
But that doesn’t play well with us cowboy types.
So, John Kerry served in Viet Nam, did he? I hadn’t heard that. I’ve never eaten in a Viet Namese restaurant. I have, however, eaten in a chinese restaurant run by Viet Namese, so am I patriotic?
I have never seen so much pornography as I have seen on your site. Promoting arms, capitalism and murder. All in the name of humour. Shame on you!
The two Johns (Kerry-bot & Edwards, not the term for hooker patrons- although the target domographic for their campaign was indeed a bunch of whores) had a slogan that said “Kerry-Edwards… A Stronger America”.
The best & most poignant lampoon of their slogan was “Kerry-Edwards…A Stronger Al-Qaeda”. And yet, the latter is still true. He’s a dhimmist from start to finish. He, like Al-Gore, wants to appease those who hate the USA.
MFL-
I, personally, love you! (no, not in that way) You have stayed the course, come back & tried desperately to make a stand, even though you allow yourself to be subject to a lot of derision. I believe you do indeed have a strong sense of character deep, DEEP within you (somewhere), but it’s only fair to tell you this; You are in an abusive relationship here with IMAO. And as long as this continues, as long as you remain an enabler, you will never be liberated as an independant woman/non-man. I know that you’re only trying to find your voice, but you need to nurture your “feminine” side, now more than ever.
Take off the makeup & put on some sensible shoes, honey! You have a long road to travel ahead… but I believe in you! And I will be there for you in prayer and spirit.
I just hope you don’t misinterpret this as anything more than Platonic support… as I said before, you’re REALLY not my type.
Write back soon!
John F’n Kerry needs a Crotch Punch! I know…he doesn’t have a pair…but he still needs a Crotch Punch!
I’ve eaten in a French restaurant owned by Vietnamese (true). I’m sure that there’s a John Kerry joke in there somewhere.