Friday Night Open Thread: Movie Ideas

PLOT:

The main character books an all-inclusive 2-week voyage on a festive partying cruise line. Not trusting his self-discipline with unlimited no-extra-cost booze, he purchases the Nanny Package, to have a responsible person to supervise him.

When the (naturally, good-looking) nanny objects, he points out the loophole in the program — it doesn’t specify that the supervised person must be a kid.

SURPRISING PLOT TWIST:

The main character is not a transsexual or lesbian.

Feel free to throw out your own ideas.


 

Bear News — Again?

Hey; we reported on this in November, 2024. But it’s still funny.

Three people sentenced to jail for bear-suit insurance scam in California
https://www.theguardian.com | Sat 18 Apr 2026 | Eric Berger

When it comes to the California department of insurance, don’t poke the bear.

That is the lesson three individuals in Los Angeles learned recently when they were sentenced to jail time for an insurance fraud scheme in which they staged attacks on high-end vehicles by having a person dress up in a bear costume – then pretending that person was an actual bear.


 


 

Welcome to IMAO! Music Edition

Three paragraphs, and I recognize exactly two names: Rihanna and Drake.

It’s not you; it’s me.

‘Murder She Wrote’: The Story Behind Chaka Demus & Pliers’ Anthem
Udiscovermusic | April 16, 2026 | Bianca Gracie

In 1992, the Jamaican duo recorded one of dancehall’s most enduring anthems with Sly & Robbie. This is the story of how it got made.

Dancehall music has undergone multiple waves of popularity in the US since its birth in the late 70s; from the early 00s takeover with Sean Paul, Elephant Man, and Shaggy, to Rihanna, Drake, and Daddy Yankee putting their own spin on the genre in the 2010s. Back in the early 90s, however, roots-reggae traditionalists were still trying to wrap their head around the brash new sound.

Artists like Shabba Ranks, Beenie Man, and Buju Banton encapsulated dancehall’s rowdy nature with their explicit lyricism, but a singular duo helped catapult the genre past Caribbean shores. Chaka Demus & Pliers, a duo composed of deejay Chaka Demus (born John Taylor) and singer Pliers (born Everton Bonner), officially emerged in 1991 after separate solo careers.

.

.

.


 

Bond Girlathon Friday : Results from 4/17/2026 : New Matches for 4/24/2026

Wake me when my tour of guest hosting is over.

Results from 4/17/2026

(8) Jill St. JohnNo Preference(3) Sophie Marceau
122161

(2) Jacquline BissetNo PreferenceSerena Scott Thomas
18408

New Matches for 4/24/2026

Match 1

Kim Basinger (Domino Petachi) vs Halle Berry (Jinx)

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
Kim Basinger3 – 2 – 0494 – 3 – 358
Domino Petachi

Birth Name: Kimila Ann Basinger

Age: 71, born 8 December 1953

Country of origin:  United States

Height: 5′ 6″

Relationship Status: In a relationship

Foreign Secretary Lord Ambrose orders a reluctant M to reactivate the double-0 section, and Bond is tasked with tracking down the missing weapons. Bond follows a lead to the Bahamas and finds Domino Petachi, Jack’s sister, and her wealthy lover Maximillian Largo, who is SPECTRE’s top agent.

Bond and Leiter attempt to board Largo’s yacht, the Flying Saucer, in search of the missing nuclear warheads. Bond finds Domino and attempts to make Largo jealous by kissing her in front of a one-way mirror. Enraged, Largo traps Bond and takes him and Domino to Palmyra, Largo’s base of operations in North Africa. Largo punishes Domino for her betrayal by selling her to passing Arabs. Bond escapes from his prison and rescues her.

Kim Basinger

VS

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
Halle Berry3 – 2 – 0537 – 8 – 628
Jinx

Actress:Halle Berry
Nationality:American
Bond Movie:Die Another Day (2002)

Synopsis:

Since Die Another Day was the 20th Bond film, and marked the 40th anniversary of the series, Jinx was introduced in the style of Honey Ryder, rising out of the sea in a bikini, with a hunting knife attached to her side. Jinx worked for the NSA and was assigned to kill Zao.

Halle Berry

Who do you prefer?
31 votes · 31 answers

Match 2

Barbara Carerra (Fatima Blush) vs (10) Rosemund Pike (Miranda Frost)

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
Barbara Carerra3 – 2 – 0470 – 4 – 517
Fatima Blush

Birth Name: Barbara Kingsbury

Age: 79, born 31 December 1945

Country of origin:  Nicaragua

Currently Residing In:  United States

Returning to his villa, Bond finds Nicole killed by Blush. After a chase on his Q-branch motorbike, Bond finds himself in an ambush and is captured by Blush. She admits to being impressed with him, and forces Bond to declare in writing that she is his “Number One” sexual partner. Bond distracts her with promises, then uses his Q-branch fountain pen gun to kill Blush with an explosive dart.

Barbara Carrera

VS

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
(10) Rosemund Pike4 – 1 – 0689 – 9 – 385
Miranda Frost

Actress:Rosamund Pike
Nationality:English
Bond Movie:Die Another Day (2002)

Synopsis:

Miranda Frost was an MI6 agent assigned to investigate Gustav Graves. An Olympic fencing champion, Frost worked as Graves’ publicist and fencing partner. Bond discovered that Miranda was a double agent working for Graves, who had killed off Miranda’s competition in the Olympics so that she could win gold.

Rosemund Pike

Who do you prefer?
32 votes · 32 answers


 

International Crime, Part 2

American YouTuber sentenced to 6 months in South Korean prison for offensive stunts
AP | April 15, 2026

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) — An American YouTuber who sparked national outrage in South Korea for provocative stunts, including dancing on a statue honoring victims of wartime sexual slavery, was sentenced to six months in prison Wednesday.

The Seoul Western District Court found Ramsey Khalid Ismael, a self-proclaimed internet “troll” known online as Johnny Somali, guilty of multiple charges, including obstruction of business and distributing fabricated sexually explicit content.

Prosecutors had sought a three-year term for Ismael, who also faced accusations of harassing staff and visitors at an amusement park, disrupting a convenience store by blasting music and upending noodles onto a table, causing similar scenes on a bus and subway, and distributing non-consensual deepfake videos.

The court said the 25-year-old displayed “severe” disrespect for South Korean law, noting that he offended countless people with livestreamed stunts aimed at generating YouTube revenue.

🎵

Johnny Somali

Trolled from his bed

And got dragged to the police station

When the PoPo found out

They began to shout

And they started the investigation.

And he’s on his way

He don’t know where he’s goin’

He’s on his way

He’s doin’ some time, but he don’t know where

Goodbye, Ramsey!

The Queen of Cornholia.

🎵


 

International Crime, Part 1

I don’t think any IMAO’er is Brazilian. But you never know.

Lefty love boat: Greta Thunberg’s freedom flotilla rocked by sexual misconduct allegations
NY Post | 4/18/26 | Gabrielle Fahmy, David Spector

They’re going to need a bigger boat!

Greta Thunberg’s freedom flotilla, which set sail from Barcelona Sunday for another anti-Israel voyage to Gaza, has been rocked by scandal after one of its woke leaders was accused of “sexual misconduct” with at least three volunteers.

“A senior leader within the flotilla — a member of the steering committee, the highest governing body of the organization — engaged in sexual relations with multiple activists while on the boat heading to Gaza. Not one person. Not two. Three different individuals,” claimed Palestinian group Heart of Falastin in a social media post earlier this week.

Now, take note, fellow travellers:

“To do it on the boat, while heading to a nation undergoing genocide, with volunteers who are under your authority . . . is a clear violation of ethics and power.”

Stop laughing, and continue reading:

One Brazilian group named the alleged horndog as activist Thiago Avila.

“On a ship carrying humanitarian aid, a Brazilian shows up with his d— swinging and the only thing he manages to do is f— and get arrested,” Anti Esquerda Esquerda Club, a group that describes itself as criticizing the left from the left, wrote on X Tuesday, pointing the finger at Avila …

He pointed something back.

Join the Anti E-squirta E-squirta Club today!


 

Straight Line of the Day: What Would a Cuban Granma Tell You?

State Department, Cuban Regime Confirm ‘Secret’ Talks in Havana
PJ Media | 04/20/2026 | Sarah Anderson

On April 10, something happened in Cuba that hasn’t happened in a decade: a U.S. government plane touched down outside of Guantánamo Bay.   

We have confirmation of this from the Cuban regime via their official Communist Party propaganda newspaper, Granma

Granma?


 


 

Heh.

Schadenfreulein.

Maren Morris Details ‘-–— Up’ First Relationship With a Woman: ‘Borderline Extortion’
New York Post | April 17, 2026

Maren Morris took to social media to label her first relationship with a woman as “f–ked up.” The songstress opened up to fans about her “bisexual journey” in a TikTok on Wednesday, which she described as “pretty short.”

“I’m not kidding, within like, three weeks of this completely falling apart, it was lies, threats to my reputation and borderline extortion,” the Grammy winner recalled. “It was pretty -–— up. And for that to be my first experience, it was just so depressing,” the songstress lamented, concluding that she’s “just really cool being alone” after the fling. Morris shared that friends from the lesbian community told her that her experience was typical. “‘You start seeing women and one is going to almost ruin your life,’” she recalled a pal telling her. “‘We’ve all been there. You just have to push through.

Phrasing?


 


 

Straight Line of the Day: What Can We Learn From Mayan Astronomy?

For that matter, what can we learn from Boise Public Radio?

What We Can Learn From Mayan Astronomy
Boise Public Radio | April 6, 2026

Gerardo Aldana is a professor at University of California, Santa Barbara. Our Living Lands producer Daniel Spaulding spoke to Aldana about Mayan astronomy, Mesoamerican culture, and the importance of Indigenous knowledge.

“If we think of Indigenous cultures and their approaches, especially Mesoamerican cultures and their approaches to astronomy, it wasn’t to transform and control nature,” Aldana said. “It was to find ways to open up dialogues with nature so that now your engagement with your environment can be a productive and a healthy one.”

Bwa-haa-haa-ha!

By the way, Nature tries resolutely and incessantly to kill you.

.

“Nephilim . . . Goliath . . . Anak . . . Peru . . . Mounds of Southern Ohio . . . Cannibalism”


 

Welcome to IMAO! Interns Can Continue Doing What They Have Been Doing

Americans Could Soon Be One Step Closer to Distilling Spirits at Home
Food & Wine | April 14, 2026 | Stacey Leasca

The decision challenges a Reconstruction-era law originally intended to prevent Americans from evading federal liquor taxes.

A federal appeals court struck down a longstanding ban on home distilling … unconstitutional. While home production of beer and wine has long been legal, distilling spirits at home has been prohibited since 1868, with penalties including prison time and fines. The ruling does not immediately legalize home distilling nationwide, as state laws still apply and the federal government may appeal to the Supreme Court. …

And if you’re thinking, “Hang on, I couldn’t make my own hooch before?” Well, it depends on what you’re making. Federal law already allows home production of beer and wine, but if you wanted to distill spirits, then no, my friend, you couldn’t. That’s thanks to a law that took effect in 1868 during Reconstruction to prevent people from evading the liquor tax. Anyone caught distilling booze at home, which is considered a federal felony, could face up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

Freedom.


 

Bond Girlathon Wednesday : Results from 4/15/2026 : New Matches for 4/22/2026

Life is like a box of chocolates, every Bond girl voting is delicious!

Results from 4/15/2026

Maryam d’AboNo PreferenceLeila Shnna
128232
Carole BouquetNo Preference
89452

New Matches for 4/22/2026

Match 1

(13) Carey Lowell (Pam Bouvier) vs Lynn-Holly Johnson (Bibi Dahl)

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
(13) Carey Lowell5 – 2 – 01014 – 11 – 631
Pam Bouvier

Actress:Carey Lowell
Nationality:American
Bond Movie:Licence to Kill (1989)

Synopsis:

Pam Bouvier was a CIA freelancer pilot, and an informant against drug baron Franz Sanchez. Bond found her name on an informant list along with the time and place of her next meeting. He met her at a bar and escaped with her after Sanchez’s henchman Dario showed up. Pam then flew Bond to Isthmus City to find Sanchez, and became his executive secretary as a cover.

Carey Lowell

VS

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
Lynn-Holly Johnson3 – 4 – 0751 – 8 – 350
Bibi Dahl

Actress:Lynn-Holly Johnson
Nationality:American
Bond Movie:For Your Eyes Only (1981)

Synopsis:

Bibi Dahl was a young ice skater sponsored by double agent Kristatos. Bibi was very attracted to Bond, however he turned her down on every occasion due to her young age. By the end of the film, Kristatos was killed, and Bond’s ally Columbo became her new sponsor.

Lynn-Holly Johnson

Who do you prefer?
48 votes · 48 answers

Match 2

Talisa Soto (Lupe Lamora) vs (5) Ana de Armas (Paloma)

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
Talisa Soto3 – 4 – 0669 – 23 – 865
Lupe Lamora

Actress:Talisa Soto
Nationality:American
Bond Movie:Licence to Kill (1989)

Synopsis:

Lupe Lamora was the mistress of drug baron Franz Sanchez. Lupe frequently slept around, and Sanchez went to deal with one of her lovers in Florida, getting himself arrested by the DEA in the process. Bond met Lupe unintentionally when trying to kill someone aboard her boat. They met again at a casino, and Bond forced Lupe into taking him upstairs to meet Sanchez. Although Lupe was a love interest, Bond left her at the end of film to be with Pam Bouvier.

Talisa Soto

VS

ContestantRecordTotal Scores
(5) Ana de Armas6 – 1 – 0963 – 11 – 475
Paloma

Ana Celia de Armas Caso (born 30 April 1988) is a Cuban-Spanish actress. She portrayed the Bond Girl Paloma in No Time to Die.

An agent of the CIA, James Bond, meets Paloma at the El Nido Bar after agreeing to Felix Leiter‘s request to go there in order to retrieve the scientist Valdo Obruchev, who has been captured by SPECTRE from a MI6 laboratory. To Bond’s bemusement, Paloma tells him that she has had only three weeks of training, though she nevertheless seems confident in her skills. She works together with Bond to infiltrate the party which is being held in the bar, though it turns out to secretly be a trap to capture and kill Bond. Bond ends up in a spotlight and sprayed with nanobots created from Project Heracles, though it ultimately transpires that Obruchev reprogrammed the nanobots to kill members of SPECTRE instead. In the ensuing chaos, Bond and Paloma manage to capture Obruchev, evading Nomi, an MI6 agent who had been sent with the same objective.

Ana de Armas

Who do you prefer?
47 votes · 47 answers


 

Man, I Wish People Could Just Speak English

The more I read of this press statement, the less I understand it.

US, Philippines unveil 4,000-acre supply chain zone in the Island of Luzon under Pax Silica push
Gulf News | 04/17/2026

OK; good start. Something about 4,000 acres in the Phillippines. I assume the rest will be explained in the article.

MANILA: The United States and the Philippines have announced plans for a 4,000-acre “Economic Security Zone” in Luzon (ESZ),

Oh, so it’s not just 4,000 acres — it’s an Economic Security Zone (ESZ). I guess that will be explained as well.

a new industrial hub

i.e., a physical location?

meant to strengthen supply chains for critical goods

like, reduce the need for trucks to move materials from one location to another?

and deepen allied manufacturing ties,

Um, make the trading partners more familiar with each other? Like, sharing cafeteria tables and so forth? Otherwise, won’t their ties be as close as the next phone call, email, or signed document?

according to a US State Department fact sheet and a post by Under Secretary of State Jacob Helberg.

Did his staff create both of those for him? If so, then why do we need him?

The project, about 1,618.7 hectares (16,187,000 square metres, about 16.187 square km)

Does that equal 4,000 acres? Hectares, square metres, square km, acres — what’s with all the conversion of units?

is being described as the first “AI-native investment acceleration hub”

I’m not sure if those terms go together to make sense. I’ve tried until my head hurts. Hence this post.

under “Pax Silica”,

What’s that now?

a US-led initiative

That I understand.

aimed at building secure supply chains

Like, armed guards for the transport trucks? Password-protected emails? What?

among partner countries.

Who else?

Officials said the site is intended to help secure inputs vital to American supply chains

Which I guess makes sense if the “inputs” are made on-site and don’t have to transit anywhere.

while giving allies a platform

Like, a factory floor?

to manufacture together more efficiently.

So . . . a factory floor.

In a Tweet on X, Under Secretary of State Jacob S. Helberg said:

“Today we announced plans for a historic 4,000-acre Economic Security Zone in the Philippines—the first AI-native investment acceleration hub under Pax Silica. This purpose-built platform will secure inputs vital to American supply chains and transform how allies manufacture together.”

His words — or his staff’s words — were issued, but nothing came out.

.

Also:

Did some low-level staffer substitute the Russian flag for the Phillippine flag?

Russian Flag:

Phillippine Flag:

.

I’d bet money that those are two folding tables.