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Straight Line of the Day: For Your Publicity Still, Will You Be Looking Thoughtfully Directly Into the Camera, Or Looking Wistfully Off Into the Distance?
Cartoons and Memes
Beowulf
I never read Beowulf — as far as I remember. If I did, the fact that I don’t remember says something.
Now I think I would, because of this guy’s description of it on the web:
The first 100 lines are basically “I’m going to tell you a story of this guy. He murders his way up and down the coast until everyone pays him to stop; that was a great king! Also, he had kids; this is the story of how his wealth got them in trouble.”
Imagine Hollywood effects and celebrity actors, and it might be an enjoyable read!
Straight Line of the Day: Per the City Desk Editor, Just Make Up a Headline So We Can Make Up a Story To Go With It
(In the comic strip “Tumbleweeds,” there was a newspaper editor who took exactly that approach.)
In the comic strip “The Washington Post”:
DOJ sees fallout after push to prosecute former FBI director James Comey
Washington Post via MSN | May 9, 2026 | Perry Stein… Others [sic] prosecutors have voluntarily decamped or scrambled to find new jobs, fearful they could be asked to work on cases that violate their principles, according to 10 current and former prosecutors familiar with the office and the case. Major cases, including one involving a terrorist attack in Afghanistan, have been hobbled by the turmoil.
Side note: the DOJ is investigating a terrorist attack in Afghanistan?
Bond Girlathon Wednesday : New Matches for 5/20/2026
We are back in business, time to get naughty.
Matches for 5/20/2026
Match 1
Gloria Hendry (Rosie Carver) vs Berenice Marlohe (Severine)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Gloria Hendry | 1 – 5 – 0 | 177 – 21 – 1048 |
Actress: Gloria Hendry Nationality: American Bond Movie: Live and Let Die (1973) Synopsis:
Rosie Carver was an inept and incompetent double agent, working for the CIA and for heroin baron Dr. Kananga. She checked into Bond’s hotel room as Mrs. Bond, and said she would take him to the spot where Bains, another MI6 agent, was killed. While picnicking near the area, Bond confronts Rosie, revealing that he knows she is working for Kanaga. Bond threatens to kill her, and Rosie runs away, only to be killed by a hidden gun in one of Kanaga’s scarecrows.
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Berenice Marlohe | 1 – 6 – 0 | 430 – 17 – 881 |
Actress: Bérénice Marlohe Nationality: French Bond Movie: Skyfall (2012) Synopsis:
Sévérine was a captive of Raoul Silva’s, who had taken her out of the Macau sex trade at a young age. Bond met Sévérine at a casino and convinced her that he could kill Silva and let her go free if she helped him out. After killing her bodyguards, Bond managed to escape the casino and travelled with Sévérine to Silva’s private Island. The pair were caught, and for her betrayal, Silva placed a glass of Scotch on Sévérine’s head and asked Bond to shoot it off. Bond purposefully missed, but Silva shot her in the head anyway, killing her and knocking off the Scotch. Bond coldly commented that it was a waste of good Scotch.
Match 2
(7) Britt Ekland (Mary Goodnight) vs (8) Jane Seymour (Solitaire)
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| (7) Britt Ekland | 6 – 1 – 0 | 1199 – 14 – 368 |
Actress: Britt Ekland Nationality: Swedish Bond Movie: The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) Synopsis:
Mary Goodnight was Bond’s assistant in Hong Kong, and previously his secretary in London. She helps Bond to locate Miss Anders, the girlfriend of hitman Scaramanga. The two almost spend the night together on multiple occasions, and at one point Goodnight is embarrassingly shoved into a cupboard when Miss Anders pays Bond a surprise visit. Goodnight is eventually kidnapped by Scaramanga, but after Bond kills him, Goodnight helps Bond escape his Island.
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| (8) Jane Seymour | 5 – 2 – 0 | 1131 – 6 – 716 |
Actress: Jane Seymour Nationality: English Bond Movie: Live and Let Die (1973) Synopsis:
Solitaire was a psychic tarot card reader working for heroin baron Dr. Kananga. She predicted the movements of James Bond and other men who posed a threat to their operations. Solitaire was practically imprisoned by Kananga as he knew that, like her mother, she would lose her psychic gift if she were to make love. When first meeting Bond, Solitaire drew the lovers card, predicting the fate of her and Bond. Indeed, Solitaire soon lost her powers, and became a target of Kananga’s wrath.
Ravens Racistly Profile Wolves
Straight Line of the Day: In a World Truly Turned Upside-Down, …
Caption This!
Bond Girlathon Wednesday Update
I believe I have it figured out and after the next two weeks all contestants will have 8 matches played. I have deleted the second match of those that played each other twice. I trust my math is correct. Now I just have to work out the schedule moving forward for the remaining matches.
Schedule
5/20/2026
Match 1
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Gloria Hendry | 1 – 5 – 0 | 177 – 21 1048 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Berenice Marlohe | 1 – 6 – 0 | 430 – 17 – 881 |
Match 2
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Britt Ekland | 6 – 1 – 0 | 1199 – 14 – 368 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Jane Seymour | 5 – 2 – 0 | 1131 – 6 – 716 |
5/27/2026
Match 1
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Gemma Arterton | 7 – 0 – 0 | 1052 – 7 – 436 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Tonia Sotiropoulou | 2 – 5 – 0 | 603 – 16 – 757 |
Match 2
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Lea Seydoux | 4 – 3 – 0 | 869 – 9 – 532 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Diana Rigg | 7 – 0 – 0 | 1394 – 7 – 370 |
Match 3
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Catherine Schell | 3 – 4 – 0 | 638 – 15 – 935 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Gloria Hendry | TBD | TBD |
Babesleaga Group AM : Week 3 : Jean Seberg vs Tuesday Weld
Babesleaga Group AM : Week 3 : Dyan Cannon vs Ursula Andress
Promoted Song: If You Are a Rich Man
from our own Bob B:
.
If you are a rich man,
We will take your money, buck by buck, accounts we’ll surely drain
All day long we’ll tax and fine and fee
‘Til you’re not a wealthy man.
I wouldn’t have to work hard.
Living off the grift that fraud-based NGOs always obtain
If you’re even a little bitty rich
You’re a target of our evil plan
I’d build a big McMansion from your former riches,
And so will a dozen of my pals
I’d get a new EV with the stolen loot I took
There might be one long lawsuit filed in the courts
And one IRS probe coming down,
But they will all lead nowhere, ‘cus you’re a schnook
Once you’re not a rich man,
We’ll move on and find another sucker we can bleed wealth from
Anyone who has that thing we want
All day long we’ll break ‘em to a bum.
Babesleaga Group AM : Week 3 : Mary Ure vs Elke Sommer
Let x = 1.5
OK, say I. Let it. Doesn’t bother me.
“If x + y = 7, . . .”
. . . which is as likely or unlikely as x + y equalling 6 or 8, and furthermore is assuming facts not in evidence . . .
“then what is y?”
What, indeed?
Why drag y into this at all?
If you’re able to assume the godlike power to deem that x has a certain value — out of infinite possibilities — why, then, can’t I do the same for y? Let someone else reconcile the discrepancy in the equation. We’ve both made our cases, and I say they stand on equal ground.