OK. But Why, Schmendrick?

“A group of sea lions is called a rookery when they are on land, and a raft when they are in the water.”

Oppo’s Law

Let’s stipulate that for every political statement or action a person makes, there will be an unhinged fringe on a binge that sends them a death threat. This is well known. How many of these threats can you think of that were actually ever carried out?

Oppo’s Law:

Nothing is newsworthy about anyone getting a death threat due to politics.

This will eliminate about 61.234% of political stories.

Avoiding Any Obligatory Reference to the Day That Will Live in Infamy, IMAO . . . D’oh!

Welcome to IMAO! I Won’t Be Coming Into Work Today — This Random College Student Will Be Posting For Me

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Pretty respectable rack there, Hoover.

Grammar Gots [sic] Run Over By a Reindeer

I’ve been reading this increasingly lately, and can no longer attribute it (as I first did) to just bad keypad skills or typos:

“That guy needs killed”

I doubt I could find it again, but I read similar expressions twice in one sentence online earlier today, and even in the same sentence was the phrase “ought to be…” — proving that the writer certainly was capable of typing the words “to be,” they just chose not to when the word “needs” is used. It’s damned irritating. Don’t ever let me see it again.

In a City of Ten

Once upon a time,

In a city of ten, located . . . well, a little west of you, which is where this story takes place. A very sparsely populated area, you must understand.

A proposal was placed before the Council of Ten (which was occasionally without Micah) to sponsor K’bd, who had no skills, no funds, no abode, no family, no apparent sense of humor — no connection to the City of Ten — and no church to speak of . . . not politely, in our language, anyway.

Well, being semi-Christian folk, these citizens of this City of Ten, after some understandable hesitation (and a quorum call to Micah) passed an ordinance at the next town meeting to give him sanctuary and welfare. Thus a millstone supposing to be able to grind chaff into wheat was duly enshrined into law. For the Ten’s commandments, anyway.

K’bd did nothing. Absolutely nothing.

And then he sued the town for not providing him with sustenance. More food, was his cry: more education, more employment, more preferment, more housing, and — most urgently of all — more immigration for his kin.

That brings our story pretty much to a close.

There were many adventures, on both sides, and centuries of conflict, but the end was never in doubt, so I will leave you with the moral:

What the hell were you thinking? Actions have consequences.

Oppo Dons Jingle-Ball Hat, Invites Intern to Office Party

Does FEMA Ever Auction Off These Trailers?

I’d like one myself.

Don’t worry. I’m sure they have the most cost-efficiency-minded diverse people working on it. Transitioning women and gays who are…

Tis the Season

Welcome to IMAO! Meeting Location Revealed To Only You Select Few

Can’t Put It Any More Succinctly Than That

Seen on the internet:

Same day registration = voter fraud
Rank choice voting = voter fraud
No ID required to vote = voter fraud
No ID required to register to vote = voter fraud
Mail in balloting = voter fraud
Ballot harvesting = Massive voter fraud

Supporting any of the above = Desiring voter fraud.

Welcome to IMAO! Where You Can Impulse-Buy Balloons, Body Jewelry, Cigarettes, and Make-Up

… and air conditioners, I guess.

Just Another Crossroad Where Science and Morality Part Company

Might Put a Strain on Their Post-Breakup Relationship

Woman Who Accidentally Threw Away Ex’s £569 Million in Bitcoin Says ‘I’m Sick of Hearing About it’
Wales Online | 25 Nov. 2024 | Lydia Royce, Kelly-Ann Mills

Hafina Eddy-Evans has recounted the unfortunate moment she realised she had mistakenly thrown away a fortune, and how she broke the news to her former boyfriend that his wealth was lost. She admitted to disposing of an old hard drive at a Welsh dump, unaware it contained a trove of 8,000 Bitcoins, mined by James Howells in 2009, and now valued at a jaw-dropping £569million.

…”Yes, I threw away his rubbish, he asked me to. The computer part had been disposed of in a black sack along with other unwanted belongings and he begged me to take it away. I had no idea what was in it but I reluctantly dropped it off at the local tip on the way home from going on the school run.”

… She added: “I thought he should be running his errands, not me, but I did it to help out. Losing it was not my fault. I’d love nothing more than him to find it. I’m sick and tired of hearing about it.”

In his relentless pursuit, James Howells is taking the council to court, hoping to recover the digital ‘key’ to his Bitcoin fortune, believed to be entombed within 110,000 tons of trash under grass-covered land, reports the Mirror.

She firmly stated: “I have no claim on whatever money he could be worth. He is the father of my two sons but I don’t want a penny of his money.”…

“The council has told Mr Howells multiple times that excavation is not possible under our environmental permit, and that work of that nature would have a huge negative environmental impact on the surrounding area.”

This Theater of Operation — Are You Sure It’s Not Ford’s?

Carrier USS Abraham Lincoln Now in the South China Sea, Russian Surface Action Group Also Underway
U.S. Naval Institute | Nov. 28, 2024 | Dzirhan Mahadzir

Are we sure Dzirhan Mahadzir is the best person to hire at the U.S. Naval Institute?