Moderation is fine, but what we’d like is:
1. Rules applied equally to everyone and not done arbitrarily
2. It be clear who is being banned and for what and have an appeals process for when that goes wrong
3. To not be constantly lied to
Twitter fails on all three.

Never been exactly clear on the difference between stories based on anonymous sources and fan fiction.

Ben Shapiro is a real person? I thought he was just this made-up thing in everyone’s heads representing whatever they currently wanted to scream at.

Trump is kind of creepy when he’s not on Twitter and you have to constantly wonder to yourself “What’s he thinking right now?”

If someone produces less than $15 an hour in value, it should be illegal to hire that person.

If you want to pay people $15 an hour, start a business and pay people $15 an hour.

I’d love to see Bernie Sanders try to start a profitable business. That would be a hilarious reality show.

If a $15 minimum wage destroys jobs and makes things worse for poor people, there will be no reckoning. Everyone will pat themselves on the back for how caring they were when in fact they’re a bunch of sociopaths.
There is no minimum wage for someone making their own business. They can lose a ton of money. But someone succeeding there will do a million times more for their community than any activist.
If you have really strong opinions about how businesses should be run, make one. Or just harmlessly spout your idiocy. But don’t back your stupidity and ignorance with government force.

When I last earned the minimum wage, it was $5.05 an hour in Idaho when I worked in the mall food court over the summer. I did a good job and was about to get a raise but I went back to college in Pittsburgh where I spent the money I earned on textbooks.
I don’t know if it was a livable wage. I didn’t try to live on it.
Somehow, in much of the world, people still live on less than a dollar a day. I bet they don’t have broadband internet, though.
I wonder there is the opposite of a livable wage — like an instantly kill you wage. I would not want to earn that.
I’d say most people shouldn’t worry too much, though. If history is any guide, no matter how much you earn, most of you will still be ungrateful and whiny.

I guess the scientific way to figure out what’s a livable wage is to pay people less and less until someone finally dies.
Might be some ethics involved there, though.

Fair Warning: If the government sends me another check, I’m using it to buy an AR-15.

“We really really care about poor people so you have to pay them more.”
“If you care, why don’t you give them money?”
“No, you do that.”
“Can you at least end the shutdown so I can have more business?”
“No.”
“I might have to close my business.”
“If you can’t pay people $15 an hour, you shouldn’t have a business.”
“Now all the people I had hired will make $0 an hour.”
“It’s worth it to teach you a lesson!”
“I thought you said you cared about poor people.”
“As much as a sociopath can.”

It’s time for an ultra-dark reboot of Gilligan’s Island oh wait that was Lost.

No, you don’t deserve $15 an hour. You don’t deserve $8 an hour. Looking at most of human history, you don’t even deserve $1 an hour.
But we were all born in an extremely rich country and that’s made us all very entitled and privileged.

If I were in the Dora the Explorer universe, after the Map sang “I’m the map! I’m the map! I’m the map!” over and over, I’d look it right in the eye and ask as seriously as possible, “Are you the map?”
I bet that would absolutely devastate it.

It would nice if there was like an equation to justify $15 an hour like “we used this to calculate that this is a wage we can enforce that won’t actually destroy businesses and hurt poor people” — at least pretend it’s not a number someone just pulled out of his ass.
That whole “We love science!” pose sure gets chucked out the window when it comes to economics.

PEACOCK AD: “We have more than just episodes of The Office.”
“Really? Because all I know about you guys is that you have that.”
PEACOCK AD: “We also have The Office bonus footage!”
“Have some self-respect guys.”

How about we pass a minimum wage but then small business owners get to pick some random aspect of your life to change where they’re sure they know better.

“They can just raise the price of a burger 25 cents to cover the new wage.”
If restaurants could raise prices with no consequence to sales, wouldn’t they already have done that?
If you raise prices, at some point you sell less. And then you have less money to pay for increased labor costs. So you have to do with less labor. This isn’t complicated.
I just don’t get people’s religious faith that enacting $15 nationwide won’t have negative consequences.
And how many of these activists even know anyone who earns minimum wage? If they end up making things worse for people, will they even know or care?
I suspect they’ll just pat themselves on the back for doing a good thing and call it a day.
The minimum wage is emblematic of the worst kind of activism. It’s ostensibly to help the poor but puts that’s burden completely on other people with no concern about the actual consequences.
And where is this idea that all wages have to be “liveable” — whatever you define that to mean? Kids can’t earn extra cash? The disabled who maybe can’t do $15 in value an hour can’t find some employment?
The scariest thing is just the complete lack of concern for unintended consequences. But again, I think a lot of this is being pushed by people who think they’re great for doing something but won’t be directly affected by it at all.

Was trying to help my 10yo daughter do a simple C program which still involved looking up a few things like what headers to include.
“So anytime you want to do anything in programming, you have to Google it?”
“Pretty much.”

So is it a defense in the libel case that that Mike Lindell seems to honestly believe all that?

With our first female Vice President, we’ve learned an important lesson: Women can be soulless phonies too.

Trump’s Patriot Party is going to lose out to my Patrioter Party.

The problem with free markets is to get the best results you have to give up control, and that’s too high a price to pay for most people, especially politicians.

I think we’ll all look back on 2020 and remember it as the year without any new Marvel movies.

I remember when Biden entered the Senate six years before I was born and I said to myself, “There’s a guy with a bright future ahead of him… after forty plus years of utter mediocrity.”

The Trump presidency was a bit weird, but I think the important thing was that absolutely no one learned anything.

I avoid listening to politicians give speeches as much as possible as it seems a rather pointless activity.
I mean, what can you learn from a politician’s speech? You can learn if he’s good at reading from a teleprompter and if he’s hired good speechwriters. Can you learn anything about how he’ll govern? Unlikely.

Don’t be a Hitler. Be a Hugler.

I like classical liberalism. Is there a political party that’s for classical liberalism? There should be a political party that supports classical liberalism.

Religious extremists invented the X Y chromosomes in the 1950s in an attempt to divide people.

I don’t think anyone understands anything about the trans movement beyond that they’ll get ripped apart for asking any questions about it.

One of our new cats is a toe ‘tacking terror. At night, it’s like being in a horror movie. You feel his presence on the bed and you try to be as still as possible as he’ll interpret the slightest movement under the covers as provocation.
I’m a dog person. I don’t like playing with cats. It’s like playing with a dog if the dog often suddenly pulled out a knife.

It’s so refreshing that instead of having a president who is constantly telling us everything he thinks on Twitter we’re back to one who dodges important questions like the soulless snakes we’ve long been used to.

We need the filibuster because it keeps Congress from passing bills which is good because they’re pretty much all morons.

Whatever happened to educating our kids about snitches and their relationship to stitches?

Do you think people are going to care more or less about this impeachment trial than the last one? I mean, it feels like this one is even more superfluous… unless they actually get enough votes to convict which feels highly unlikely right now.

I took my wife to a super-fancy dinner and she repaid me by afterward describing in great detail the entire plot of Bridgerton 🙁

Man, I’d be so annoyed if I were Tom Brady. Just once I’d like to relax and watch the Super Bowl at home.

My 7yo son overheard us talking about the vaccine, and he said, “It’s probably just poison and they’re trying to kill you.”
What YouTube videos is he watching?

Just because I’m laughing at the “there’s no such thing as cancel culture” people getting canceled doesn’t mean I’m for them being fired.

The main problem with actual solutions to problems is that they don’t allow you to feel self-righteous so what’s the point?

81 million Americans voted for Biden because Trump and the Republicans are terrible. 74 million Americans voted for Trump because the Democrats and the left are terrible. Unity means everyone trying to be less terrible.

How about journalists just stop pretending they’re anything other than partisan hacks? It’s just so insulting to one’s intelligence when they don’t admit to it.

Who would win in a fight between King Kong and Godzilla? Neither, as they’d both be crushed under their own weight thanks to the square-cube law.

I feel like everyone thinking Godzilla is going to win with his atomic breath aren’t putting enough weight on monkey smarts.

I think the new Harry Potter series should be about a middle-aged Harry Potter who feels like he can’t do his job as Auror bringing down Death Eaters because of those damn liberals in the Ministry of Magic tying his hands.
Title: Dirty Harry Potter

It’s kind of weird Trump hasn’t gone to one of the alternative social media sites as he’d probably boost one of them a ton if he started posting his unfiltered hourly thoughts there.

The goal of teachers unions is to give children the least amount of education for the most money possible, with the ultimate goal of getting paid without even having to teach. The pandemic has finally helped them achieve that goal.

Capitalism: You can have more than you could ever imagine as long as you can make peace with the fact that people far richer than you are getting even richer.

While science is great at answering questions, it’s good to remember that in the end it can only answer unimportant ones.

The elitist pushback on Trump was based on the idea that everyone should reject dumb failures for smart failures.

When chicken comes out of a can, it feels like it’s the chicken of the sea of the land.

No one in Congress should get the vaccine early as none of them are essential. Most of them could be replaced with a simple computer program.

“So, dad, boys can do ballet too?”
“No.”

I think the problem with calling Jill Biden “doctor” is that some people will get confused and think she’s actually a doctor.

A three-martini lunch? I wouldn’t trust my coding I then did in the late afternoon.

With clunky terms like “people who menstruate” and “vagina owners,” it really seems like we need a simple word that means “human female.”

What’s your favorite piece from a Star Wars movie soundtrack and you can’t say “The Imperial March”?
I think for me it’s “The Asteroid Field” from The Empire Strikes Back. Nice mix of menace and grandeur.

I don’t get the hate for Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.” It’s just a stupid, happy little Christmas song.

Where do people get the idea hate speech is illegal in the U.S. when Twitter is still up and running?

There are exceptions to free speech. For instance, you can’t say a word that rhymes with orange.

The warning when we put on It’s a Wonderful Life says it contains drug use, violence, and foul language. Hot dog!

The most devastating part of It’s a Wonderful Life has to be seeing that Mary is an old maid. And has glasses.

My mom gave me a dark saber and animatronic Baby Yoda rather than give to one of my kids and have them fight over it. Funny how protective you get of that little guy. My son started to touch him with the dark saber, and I was like “No. We don’t do that even in jest.”

Any chance we’ll start calling Yoda “Old Grogu”?

Quick quiz: What’s the first song that plays over the end credits of Die Hard?
Answer: “Let It Snow!” to help emphasize the Christmas spirit the movie ended with.

Jesus didn’t die for our myopic politics.

If you never tweet angrily at people you’ll never accidentally do it under a brand account.

I neither liked nor disliked Trump enough to abandon all my conservative principles.

My favorite number as a kid was 101 because if you draw a line between the zeroes and the one you make a TIE fighter.

I wish I didn’t like the Lord of the Rings extended edition because then I could have yelled out during it “More like BORED of the Rings.”

MVP this year was SarahK who worked really hard to make sure this was not a lost year for our kids. My hope is this whole pandemic will just be some vague memory for them.

So are they ever going to overthrow all that fascism in Portland?

What happens to the Peacock streaming service if people figure out they can just buy their own copy of The Office?

Everyone who trusts in any politician is like Charlie Brown trying to kick that football.

Much of politics is trying to convince people that Team Rocket is about to become the next Hitler.

And know what’s extra great about The Mandalorian? It’s my favorite show, and I can actually watch it with my kids.

“Hey, what’s the big idea?” —Donald Duck as a business consultant

I’m not one of those anti-technology, “the quaint ways of the past are superior” people, but man what I would give each night to see the sky just as our ancestors did before the electric light was invented.

I’ve started letting the kids watch some episodes of The Simpsons. What’s great, is there is an episode for whatever is going on. Since I’m having surgery tomorrow, they’re watching the one where Homer gets a triple bypass.

My older daughter is trying to test me on this.
“Well, what if we were going to the moon? Is there an episode for that?”
“Yes. Deep Space Homer. Has Buzz Aldrin, who landed on the moon with Neil Armstrong, as a guest star. It’s one of my favorites.”

Ow. Surgery hurts and anesthesia makes you sleepy.

Tired some anti-nausea medicine and worked just like that one time I tried my wife’s home remedy: I immediately vomited so much my nausea went away.

Oy. When you have two sides with terrible ideas, gridlock is the only thing saving you.

The GOP is a frog struggling to stay afloat as the scorpion on its back keeps stinging it.

If I were scripting this, having Trump removed from office a couple of days before he would normally leave would be a pretty good ending.
Oh, then I would have President Pence do a military coup. Ends up, he was the real threat all along!

If impeaching Trump and removing him from office bars him from running in 2024, that has to be tempting now to ambitious Republicans.

Probably the yankee-est thing about me is that the way I learned to make guacamole was to mix an avocado with sour cream and garlic powder.

I’m interested in the opinions of people who unequivocally condemned both the riots over the summer and the destruction yesterday and no one else.

Love your enemy will always be a radical proposition that everyone will constantly rebel against.

Back when Bitcoins were $200, I said to myself, “I should buy one just in case” but I didn’t know how and it seemed complicated.

I’ll form a classical liberal party, but it won’t be much fun. You don’t get to push around people you don’t like and rub their faces in it.

Classical Liberals: We’re for radical ideas, but only really old ones tested by time

The consequence of Hawley’s book being canceled by Simon & Schuster is the book will now get more attention than it would have and the publisher will be badgered to apply the same standard to controversial left-wing authors.

Back in 2015, I tweeted “Nominating Trump might not be a great idea,” and I’m feeling somewhat vindicated.

The far left are always having to balance that they don’t want the police wielding force but also they want everyone who disagrees with them dead or at least severely injured.

Everyone who made any excuses for the rioting over the summer at least has partial ownership of the siege on the Capitol.

Much of the left’s actions make sense if you accept the fact they can’t think more than twenty seconds into the future.

With Trump, so many people want to torch everything either defending him or fighting him.

I don’t want tribalized social media, but that’s starting to look inevitable since no one will ever come up with consistent standards that will apply to both sides equally.

So the current plan is to have what speech isn’t allowed determined by a bunch of tech companies that can’t bring themselves to condemn genocide and slavery they profit from?

Whenever Trump isn’t on Twitter, all the other accounts should be tweeting, “Where’s Trump?”

I read 1984. It’s overrated.
I think Animal Farm is near perfect, though.

The last people you want involved in politics are people who have nothing in their lives other than politics.

The left must have really wished they had a 12 on their outrage amplifiers for that siege on the Capitol. They lacked any language to denounce it they hadn’t already used on bad Trump tweets no one even remembers anymore.

How about in exchange for D.C. and Puerto Rico statehood, California is broken up into three states to give those people better representation?

I don’t get the “no fly list” thing. Either arrest people or don’t arrest people.

If I ran my own social media site, the rules would be really simple: You’re allowed to say whatever you want as long as you aren’t a Commie.
And anyone who disagrees with me is a Commie.

So, if I’m getting this right, Cuomo’s policies that absolutely everyone said would cause hospitals to throw away vaccine doses caused hospitals to throw away vaccine doses?

I was thinking who should play Admiral Thrawn (my knowledge of him solely from the Timothy Zahn novels), and the first name that popped in my head was Mads Mikkelsen (even though he’s already in the Star Wars universe). Ends up, Mads’s older brother Lars voices Thrawn in Rebels.

The people who are unequivocally celebrating different tech companies ganging up to ban Trump and Parler all would fail the marshmallow test.

Know what leftists trying to shut down people on the right from even speaking makes me think of? WW1984. It’s just like that. In that it’s not good.

Most masculine president? Probably either Teddy Roosevelt who gave a speech after being shot or Washington who won the war to start this country and then willingly gave up the power of the presidency — something harder for a politician even than speaking with a bullet in you.

People think things are bad now, but they were worse back when I was a kid. Every once in a while, someone would drop on your doorstep this big yellow book that would try to dox everyone in town. They never caught the guy who did it.

In the words of Tuco: “When you have to impeach, impeach. Don’t talk.”

left-winger sees a tornado coming directly for him but it first hits a conservative’s house
“Ha ha! This is awesome!”

Trump lost me when he claimed with no evidence that he won in a landslide when he could have just claimed with no evidence he had a close win.

I used to think Carter was the worst president, but man, look at all he had to deal with at the time: Cold War, rising crime, cratering economy. Makes us all look like sissies.
I mean, he was terrible, but you need to grade on a curve.

Acting like Planet of the Apes and making a forbidden zone for certain beliefs isn’t likely to reduce curiosity in them.

I’m just going to go ahead and admit it: Anytime you see something attributed to an anonymous source in a news article, that’s usually me. I’m really good at making stuff up; that’s why I both write satire and work as an anonymous source.

Remember when Twitter arbitrarily banned NYPost and then pretended it was out of their hands to fix that and most journalists barely even remarked on it?

You don’t want to piss off Cheneys; they shoot their friends in the face with a shotgun.

Probably a big impetus for Republicans to turn on Trump is the Georgia runoff loss. It just showed that Trump is a liability even if they try to appease him.

It has to haunt Amy Coney Barrett that after each of her SCOTUS decisions, Chris Hayes will be somewhere shaking his tiny fist.

My 10yo daughter made me nachos for lunch and then figured out how to play The Mandalorian theme on the piano, so she’s pretty awesome.

The big question is will Donald Trump still dominate the news next year, something I think is still quite possible even with him not being president.

If you’re honest, the person of the year was obviously Donald Trump who dominated basically every discussion about everything. The only question is will that be true next year.

Yes, I would like those $550 headphones. I will wear them on my yacht so I will not be subjected to all those bothersome ocean sounds.

Winchester is starting to take steps now, and he thinks it’s hilarious to start to walk toward one of his parents and then turn 90 degrees and toddle away.

I hated Hayden Christensen as Anakin and yet for some reason am excited to see him return. Such is the oddity of being a Star Wars fan.
I guess Star Wars canon is like family. Despite your opinions of it, you love your family.

That’s a lot of neat new content, Disney+, now can you put the pilots for Darkwing Duck, TaleSpin, and Rescue Rangers — the episode that introduces you to the characters — at the beginning of season 1 instead of some random spot in the middle. I believe in you. You can do it.
Getting episodes in the right order is streaming service 101. It’s not something you should still be trying to master one year later.

The Solo movie wasn’t bad. A Solo series to continue it wouldn’t be a bad idea — not that they don’t already have enough on their plate.

Ted Lasso was delightful. Highly recommended if you have Apple+. Only ten episodes, but I believe it’s already been renewed for two more seasons.

Biden and Harris added together still don’t make one interesting person anyone is going to get excited about, but they did do a great job of not being Trump (well, Biden, mainly).

The thing about Trump I would praise the most — and perhaps have no criticisms at all — is his judicial picks.

Your choices are freedom or dumbasses pushing people around. There is no third option. This especially applies to free markets versus the alternative.

Pay me $20 and I’ll call you doctor. I don’t even care if you have a degree. Twenty dollars.

The biggest area for fake news seems to be Star Wars rumors. My Google News feed is always showing me stories from websites I never heard of that all seem to be rumors based on absolutely nothing.

Watched the movie Peppermint. I liked it. It’s Death Wish with Jennifer Garner… which is probably enough of a pitch for a lot of people.

The Mandalorian is a Life Day movie.
my 7yo son walks into the church swinging around nunchucks
“Son, I told you not to bring nunchucks to church.”
“They said it was okay.”
“Who?”
“Um… church people.”

As an expert programmer and satirist, make sure to precede my name with “Cool Dude” (sometimes abbreviated as “C.D.”). I’ve earned it.

I realized I didn’t remember how A Christmas Story ends. Because it just kind of ends.
So many memorable scenes, but not much of a narrative.

Wow. Cyberpunk 2077 has a 90 on Metacritic. Think of how good it would be if it were playable.

I don’t even all actual doctors “doctor.”
Also, to me, the seven dwarves are Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey, and Mister.

You can throw rocks in glass houses. Modern glass is strong enough to withstand the impact. And the “glass” might in fact be more of a sturdy plastic.

Twitter secretly hides tweets that reveal what evil lurks in the hearts of men. It’s called a Shadow ban.

The Mandalorian with his helmet off is me in every social situation.

I have an engineering degree. I have a prejudice against people with PhDs in that field as I assume they don’t know how to do anything practical.

They released a trailer for the new Walker Texas Ranger reboot, but there were no roundhouse kicks in the trailer. I need roundhouse kicks our I’m out.

My question: Do we have the technology to make the vaccine a gummy chewable?

My daughter was confused why people don’t like The Last Jedi as she thinks it’s a good movie and I had to explain to her she’s a dumb kid.

“When you appreciate the first trilogy like I do, then you’ll despise this movie like I do.”
“By first trilogy, do you mean episodes one through three?”
“GO TO YOUR ROOM!”

What I’ve learned from the “Are you a Calvinist or Arminian?” question on The Babylon Bee podcast is that only Calvinists have heard of Arminians.

Here’s my ordering of the Star Wars movies:
Attack of the Clones
The Empire Strikes Back
The Force Awakens
The Last Jedi
A New Hope
The Phantom Menace
Return of the Jedi
Revenge of the Sith
The Rise of Skywalker
That’s how you would alphabetize them if you ignored the articles.

I still don’t even understand why I’ve heard of Jeffrey Toobin.

Currently the cutest thing ever is that Winchester asks for blueberries by saying “Boo!” and making the sign for berries.

What this world needs is more tough, independent women who agree with me about everything.

The problem with modern day Bible thumping is that I tend to read the Bible off my iPad and I can’t thump with that thing. That could damage it, and it’s very expensive.
See, this is why it’s so hard for the rich to get into heaven. I need to make some powerful friends to help me out.

A lot of the attacks on capitalism is like someone going to a hospital and saying, “Look at all the people dying! Modern medicine is horrible! We would be better off without hospitals!”
You don’t know even know where to being.

capitalism increases the wealth of the entire world a thousand fold and despite there being far more people than anytime in human history, everyone is better fed
“Look at these people living in poverty who don’t have broadband internet! We need to destroy capitalism!”
This is like racism. This is stupidity that has a moral aspect. You’re making a choice to ignore all the evidence of how bad your ideas are.

The trans-movement gives the impression that years ago there was some big debate in which the “right” opinion was definitively settled upon, but no one seems privy to when that debate was and what was said at it.
They throw around the term “transphobia” a lot, but the reigning emotion seems less fear than utter bafflement.
Luckily everyone is too scared to ask questions.

Fargo Season 4 was interesting all the way through, but it didn’t add up to much.
And they made it like Ethelrida was the main character, but she seemed sidelined for the story more than 90% of the time.

My best hope for government is that gridlock will protect us from the bad intentions of politicians and especially their good intentions.

The left keep thinking their problem is messaging and never consider the idea that maybe their problem is they’re dominated by hateful people with terrible, terrible ideas.
Hateful people with terrible ideas can lead to bad messaging.

Someone who can’t admit “defund the police” was a terrible slogan that was only counterproductive should have a restraining order to stay 500 yards away from politics at all times.
It would be nice if privileged idiots channeled the energy of wanting to do something into charity work instead of the most moronic politics available.

In Cyberpunk 2077, I want to be Cyber-Dirty Harry.
“Being that this is a .44 cybermagnum, the most powerful cyberhandgun in the world, and would blow your cyberhead clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel cyberlucky?’ Well do ya, cyberpunk?”

If people said during the protests, “Hey, you can’t be doing this; there’s a pandemic going on” then there might still be someone with some credibility, but now the people yelling about masks and staying home don’t actually seem to care about that but just like yelling at people.

I was just talking about how there are no good new sitcoms, but I checked out Ted Lasso on Apple+ based on Kyle Smith’s recommendation and two episodes in and I’m sold.
Man, with streaming and no network standards, everything has to have so much swearing now, though.

“I wonder who Republicans will nominate in 2024 to follow up Trump.”
Trump makes noise about running again
“I wonder who Republicans will nominate in 2028 to follow up Trump.”

Your president who served two non-consecutive terms name is your favorite muppet from Sesame Street plus the last major city you visited.
Mine is Grover Cleveland.

I used to kind of cheer on the death of theaters because as a parent with little kids they’re kind of inconvenient to go out and see the latest Marvel movie, but now I feel bad.

My best theater experience was at college where at a big auditorium at the student center they would show movies on the weekend. Everyone would really get into it and yell stuff at the screen and that actually is a lot more fun.

If Twitter wanted to be even-handed, shouldn’t they just add a vague “This claim is disputed” to anything said by any partisan?

The last potential nail in the coffin of theaters will be finding out what exactly Disney will be doing with Black Widow.

You know those Advent calendars where you get like a piece of candy each day? Why not have all calendars be like that? I already get lots of candy at Christmas. I could use it more in the middle of April.

I don’t think anyone would dispute that AOC is the world’s smartest socialist.

My idea for Black Panther 2 is find some way to bring back Michael B. Jordan’s character (it’s a comic book movie; it’s not that hard) and have him be the lead in some redemption arc/anti-hero thing.

I think the moon is much cooler when you see it during the day. At night, it’s this ghostly, glowy thing, but during the day it’s this giant rock somehow magically floating up in the sky.

We are surrounded by so much wonder each day that eventually we become almost immune to it. One of the advantages of having kids is they help you remember how to look at the world with open eyes again.

If you’re a superhero attacking Adolf Hitler with ice storm powers, a good line would be “Hail Hitler!” but you’d have to be really careful no one took that out of context.

The show Batman Beyond was the follow up to the shows Batman Bed and Batman Bath.

Defenestration? Why in the world is there a word for throwing someone through a window that only like Frasier would use?

I don’t know what Mank is about but I’ll only watch it if there’s a scene where a man collapses to his knees and screams into the air “MAAAAANK!”

One of the most amazing things is in one of the episodes of the making of The Mandalorian documentary where Dave Filoni explains the story arc of the prequels and almost makes you appreciate it.
There’s a guy you can trust with your Star Wars franchise.

Just once I want a radical liberal to be a classical liberal who does awesome tricks on his BMX bike.

Didn’t Jesus say “For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.”? Sounds like a radical capitalist.
People try to fit Jesus into our myopic politics, but that just doesn’t work — except I think what Jesus’s view on the Export-Import Bank would be are pretty obvious.

I’m scheduled to have my gallbladder removed in January. I’m told that after the surgery I won’t be able to lift anything over 10 pounds — which especially sucks because Winchester is over 10 pounds and is my all time favorite thing to pick up.

I’m going to let you all beta test Cyberpunk 2077 and pick it up when it’s first on sale.

The makers of The Mandalorian love Star Wars in the same way we love Star Wars — except they love it even more and have the technical skills to pull off their dreams.

I really respect Elon Musk as a billionaire because he’s trying to use his billions to go to Mars. None of the other billionaires are doing anything that interesting. That’s an even better use of billions than becoming Batman.

Why did Elon Musk call his company Tesla and not GroundX?

What I miss least of the Obama presidency is having this moral idiot constantly disappointed in us all.

Who would win in a fight between Kurt Russell Santa and Mel Gibson Santa?

What is up with the episode ordering on Disney+? The four parter of TaleSpin that introduces you to the characters is listed as episodes 34-37. The DarkWing Duck 2-parter pilot is episodes 29 and 30.
I guess the questions are: How did they end up with this bizarre ordering? And why, after being out for a year, have they not fixed it?
According to Disney+, they say they’re out of order because they’re airing them in broadcast order.
LIES!
I watched TaleSpin and Darkwing Duck back when they first premiered and they started with the multiparters that introduced you to the characters.
BTW, did you know it’s “TaleSpin” and not “Tailspin”? I didn’t. Searching for it on Disney+ to show my kids, I at first thought they didn’t have it.
I guess they were sorta referencing DuckTales, but Tailspin is a perfectly cromulent name. You don’t need the pun.

What do you mean the local supermarket doesn’t have sashimi grade fish? I thought I lived in America and not some third world country.

I decided to test out the iPhone 12 Pro Max night mode by pointing it at the Orion Nebula on my little cheapo telescope. I think that’s pretty neat considering this is Austin suburb light pollution.

The night mode really can make out more than the naked eye. It can even make out the Andromeda Galaxy as a little smudge when just pointed at its location in the sky. I’ll have to later try that through the telescope mount.

Sometimes Justice Roberts makes you miss Kennedy. At least Kennedy came about being a squish honestly.

I’ve never understood the appeal of stuffing. Wet bread seems like something you’d eat if you were starving in a Soviet country.

Watching the Macy Thanksgiving Day Parade with the kids. It’s a bunch of floats going by with people on them waving at empty streets.
Man, the apocalypse is much weirder than any of us predicted.

A large segment of the left have taken a very strong anti-liberty stance in regards to religion, speech, and guns. If you’re going to be on the “wrong side of history”, at least pick newer history.

The Purge: For one night a year, the police are abolished.

Handmade vodka? I’m not an expert on these things, but don’t you need a still or something? You can’t just stir it really hard.

It’s so great when they’re airing new episodes of The Mandalorian. It’s like getting a new Star Wars movie every week… a good one!

I don’t know what the unifying theme was for The Crown season 4 other than that Prince Charles is the worst.
They had that episode where the Queen is trying to figure out who is her favorite, and everyone is like, “I know who it ain’t.”
At this point, it seems like the Queen is now doing her best to outlive her son.
I’d say the biggest disappointment for The Crown season 4 is that they didn’t have David Duchovny play Ronald Reagan.
And I know Gillian Anderson’s portrayal of Margaret Thatcher has gotten mixed reviews, but the relationship between her and her husband was adorable.
I believe The Crown is supposed to go on for two more seasons. I think they’re running into a Game of Thrones situation where they’re hoping Queen Elizabeth finishes the story before they catch up with her.

AHSOKA TANO: “I can read his thoughts. His name is Grogu.”
I don’t know if I care for that name. Still, I guess that doesn’t ruin Baby Yoda.
AHSOKA TANO: “I also sense in him many thoughts about minorities… controversial thoughts.”
Oh no!

Disney+ put The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with Christmas movies. I mean, it has Santa in it, but none of it takes place at Christmas like Die Hard.

I have to say, the mother from Miracle on 34th Street made sure her daughter would never be a good writer for Axe Cop.
“You’re using your imagination again?! Here’s something you won’t have to imagine: my fist!”

You can’t make anything free. You can just confiscate wealth to pay for things.
Or, more accurately, attempt to pay for things.

Still just don’t “get” emojis. I use thumbs up emoji as it works in place of “k” and seems less passive aggressive. And that’s pretty much it. I still use semicolon parentheses (and sometimes semicolon capital P) to add a tone to a statement, and I feel pretty covered with that.

There’s a glut of new dramas I’m meaning to check out, but if I want to watch a sitcom, I’m usually rewatching ones I’ve already seen from years ago. The last new sitcom I remember hearing a bunch of people talk about was The Good Place.
What happened to the sitcom? I guess what we have now are these hour long dramedys and a bunch of really ugly cartoons aimed at adults.
I notice the comedies I like to rewatch are from the era when we finally abandoned the laugh track and went single camera. The perfect night was NBC Thursday with 30 Rock, Community, The Office, and Parks and Recreation. I’m happy to rewatch any of those.

I’m sometimes worried the other kids will get a little jealous of Winchester, but every single one of them said at Thanksgiving “…and I’m especially thankful for Winchester!”

My 5yo daughter keeps wanting to watch the scene in Revenge of the Sith when Anakin kills Padme. I don’t know what to make of that.
Previously, here favorite thing from Star Wars was Rey and “Ben Solo.” I’m afraid she’s not learning about good relationships from Star Wars.

Any news out of Britain should have a spoiler warning for season 6 of The Crown.

So much of today is a bunch of crazed people running around yelling “2+2=5!” and average people deciding whether it’s worth the headache to say anything.
But I’ll tell you one thing: The people encouraging it on saying “What great math you’re doing!” aren’t the good guys.

One of the reasons people don’t like liberty is the other side of the coin which is responsibility. Under liberty, you bear the burden over your own choices and can’t compel anyone else to provide for you.

“Trust science if it aligns with your politics; ignore it otherwise.” -absolutely everyone

Teachers unions are about giving your kids the least amount of education for the most amount of money.

I noticed an interesting incongruity in the last item in Luke 7:22 when Jesus lists the things people have witnessed him do.
Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them.” Luke 7:22
Maybe it means poor in spirit and not money. Still, it’s interesting to note I don’t think Jesus ever miraculously gave people money (besides one coin in a fish).
Also interesting, because all those other maladies Jesus fixed are not ones we (for the most part) can do anything about, but we can make someone not poor by giving them money.
And we can also preach the gospel.

I’m not planning to get Cyberpunk 2077. Cyber sounds cool, but I have no desire to be a punk.

Instead of god mode, I hope Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War has “Reagan mode.”

Finished the first draft of the third Superego novel. It’s leagues away from being readable to anyone else, but it’s got a beginning and an end and most of the middle.
I like to keep forward momentum, so my first drafts are filled with holes as I don’t like to pause to come up with made-up scifi names and if a section isn’t working, I just move on to the next.
I also usually decide on things that mean I will have to rewrite earlier chapters to fit, but I don’t go back and do rewrites until I’ve reached the end one way or another.
So it still has a lot of work left until it’s readable by anyone other than me. Then it will go to the alpha reader (SarahK), and after she approves I’m not embarrassing myself, to beta readers.
But, hey, it was five years between Superego and Superego: Fathom, and now we’re on schedule for a year or less between sequels 2 and 3.

I hope the new Call of Duty game where you shoot Commies for Reagan has a bonus level where you punch hippies.

Live your life such that you feel no obligation to defend any politician.

Man, I don’t know who wouldn’t be inspired by that Call of Duty Cold War trailer with Blue Monday playing while Reagan inspires you to action. Harkens back to a simpler time when we had real problems — Commies wanting to nuke us — and didn’t have to invent stupid ones.
And despite a realistic world-ending scenario constantly hanging over us, the 80s feels about a hundred times more optimistic than now. The thing this country needs more than anything else is perspective.

It’s weird now to think about how the promotion for The Mandalorian before it’s season 1 premiere didn’t include Baby Yoda at all. What was even in those trailers?
It’s a production that’s good at keeping secrets. No one seems to know anything about any episode before the day it comes out. And even though everyone knows Ahsoka Tano is in one of the episodes this season, not a single image has leaked.

Padme: “I can’t believe that Anakin would kill younglings at the Jedi temple. He’s only ever mass-murdered children once before.”

“Only a Sith deals in absolutes. No one else. Just them. If you ever hear anyone say an absolute, you should immediately kill them for being a Sith as they are the only ones who ever use absolutes ever. There is no exceptions to this rule.”

“Palpatine, you may have a point about how the Jedi are too quick to dismiss the Dark Side as evil.”
“Good to hear that. So would you like to murder a bunch of kids for me?”
“Would I!”

My kids put on Revenge of the Sith (according to my 5yo daughter, she loves the one “where Anakin kills Padme”), and it’s just impossible to watch and not make fun of.
UNLIMITED SATIRE!!!!

“Father, I sense there is still good in you.”
“Did I ever tell you how I once murdered a bunch of children with very little prompting?”
“Oh. No. I was dealing with all the facts here.”

There are two types of people who don’t actually care about masks: Those who refuse to wear masks and those just like to yell and mock those who don’t wear masks to feel good about themselves but don’t care about actually being persuasive.
People scream and yell about things not because they care too much but because they care too little — too little to swallow their own ego.

The whole focus of the left on Facebook and such is so so dumb. The core reason people despise the left isn’t because of what news they’ve been force-fed. They seek out the other news because they despise you and all your efforts to quash it will just make them despise you more.

In the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, I think it’s pretty inarguable that if Uncle Billy had never been born, things would have turned out great for everyone.

watching Deadwood
“Al Swearengen? More like Al Profanity-engen.”

So my Macbook Pro suddenly shut off the other day despite being plugged in. I then noticed it didn’t close proper. And that the bottom was being pushed off of it. Looks like the battery started swelling. Never a good sign when solid-state stuff starts moving.
Another really bad sign with modern-day electronics is when they smell. Electronics should not have a smell. Luckily, no smell so far. As that would probably be battery acid or something.
Usually, the bad electronics smell is smoke. First thing I learned as a baby engineer is that all electronic components have smoke in them. If the smoke ever escapes, they stop working.
Anyway, have a Genius Bar appointment for Thursday. I’ll see then if Apple will take responsibility for their swollen battery. Until then, stuck using a 2012 Macbook Pro like I’m in some third world country.
I’ve broken like every computer I’ve ever had because I program super-duper hard. Hopefully one day they’ll invent a computer that can keep up with me.

It is absolutely baffling to me that anger at student loans is directed anywhere other than the overpriced colleges who made them necessary.

And yes, if you want college prices to drop immediately, have the government stop guaranteeing student loans.

I remember back when I was a kid and the closest we got to anyone ruining Star Wars was the Ewoks.
A new Star Wars movie was just an impossible dream back then.
But, hey, now we got The Mandalorian. Little Frankie would have loved that.
Hopefully not more hopes to be dashed.

It’s okay for some guys to be sissies but society will break down if too many are.

It fascinates me how there were all these Star Wars terms I knew as a kid in the pre-internet days but had no idea where they came from. Like, I knew Boba Fett wore “Mandalorian armor.” Where that knowledge came from, no idea.

I can’t tell if it’s good acting in The Crown because none of the actors talk like actual human beings but maybe that’s how the people they’re imitating all actually sounded.
Like the guy playing Prince Phillip talks like he can’t fully open his jaw and has to grunt out his words. Great acting or horrible acting? I don’t know.

The government paying off student loans is so terrible in so many different ways I feel like I’m being punked.

Canceling student debt has an even lower chance of fixing everything than that amnesty in the 80s had at fixing immigration — and a much much bigger chance of making everything worse.

I like how the new Star Wars Minecraft DLC is just stuff from the original trilogy and The Mandalorian. That’s all the Star Wars you need.

I have not talked enough about how beautiful The Babylon Bee book is. It really is one of the best books I’ve ever seen. I wrote a number of the chapter intros and had a lot of fun doing it.
You can get it here, available for a limited time (eventually the world will end in fire).

The goal should be less people go to college. A lot of it just seems like a scam. For instance, I make good money as a computer engineer, but you don’t need four years to learn that skill. It’s silly to pretend you do.

White Democrats love fighting racism but they don’t really care much for minorities and that’s starting to catch up with them.

I think it might help some people to worry less about overthrowing “white supremacy” and more about overthrowing being hateful, race-obsessed idiots.

Thanks, Twitter, for all the warnings anytime someone thinks something hinky is going on with vote counts. That’s really convincing everyone there is no collusion going on to steal an election. Super useful.

“Seems a little hinky that 120k votes were added and they all went to Biden.”
TWITTER: “LeArN aBoUt 2020 eLeCtIoN sEcUrItY EfFoRtS”

I think the only lesson learned from this election is the same one we learned in 2018: Everyone loves Republicans in the Senate controlling who gets to join the Supreme Court.

You know what this looks like? Voter fraud. Or mail-in ballots getting counted late and being heavily for Biden as expected. Or a combination of the two.

Does anyone think that Twitter’s heavy-handed crackdown on just one side is anything other than counterproductive?

Why can’t everyone be like me, Cool Dude Frank, who keeps everything in proper perspective? I never let politics bend me out of shape. And I’ll never let go of how terrible The Last Jedi was.

So far, over 70 million people have voted for Trump. If you really think voting for Trump is this unforgivable thing and you can’t deal with people who would do that, I guess you’re going to need some sort of massive civil war.

It seems like for both 2018 and 2020, the Republican Senate helped itself by filling a SCOTUS seat right before the election. The horrible treatment of Kavanaugh helped them in 2018 and the talk of court packing helped them now.

I don’t really care who channels I don’t even watch hire, but doesn’t Joy Reid have about as much credibility as Jacob Wohl?

Not that it’s relevant anymore, but did Biden ever tell us his position on packing the courts?

Remember NBC Thursday nights when you had 30 Rock, The Office, Community, and Parks and Rec all in a row? Didn’t know how good we had it.
A scientific study I would love to do would be to take all the best comedies and do graphs about their joke frequency. Is there a sweet spot? Or is there no correlation (a few build up to big gags while others throw out lots of smaller ones)?
BTW, rewatching 30 Rock as there just isn’t enough good new comedies I have to keep going back to old ones. I hope those black face episodes society is being protected from don’t have important plot points.
30 Rock is very joke dense. Kimmy Schmidt, which comes from the same people, is even more so where you could often miss gags because you’re still laughing at the previous.

I was writing this morning, and I realized the term “reentry” doesn’t work with scifi when a ship enters the atmosphere, because sometimes you’re going to a planet for the first time. There’s no “re.”

I have to imagine many Republicans will be happy with this result if Biden wins. They get to move on from Trump without being completely decimated — most likely adding to the Senate and House in the midterms.

If the left wants a commission to hunt down and punish all Trump supporters, they’ll have to get that through a Republican Senate.

There would be a lot more faith in the system if all the counts were as fast as Florida. More time just seems like more opportunity for malfeasance.

Election Day should be a double work day where you have to complete twice as much work before you can leave to vote. And the only polling place should be on top of a high mountain. Only the most dedicated get to vote.

No one is urgently waiting for journalists to tell us what is a lie and what isn’t. No one is that dumb.

When Trump is out of office, will people stop pretending to be surprised and outraged every time Trump acts like Trump?

I think this election was a loud message to Trump that’s he just slightly not what the country is looking for.

The Democrats message of “Yes, voter fraud is trivially easy but it’s pure science fiction to think anyone would ever do it despite us claiming millions will die if the Republicans gets elected” could be more persuasive.

Joe Rogan is in Austin now? Well, if he ever wants a really interesting guy from The Babylon Bee on his show… well, I’m sure Kyle can catch a flight.

Man, this election just isn’t going to be a simple narrative. Huge huge turnout with both Biden and Trump getting more votes than Obama ever got, and Republicans making gains in the House and (probably) keeping the Senate.
With it looking like Biden won, you could call it a rejection of Trump, but a lot of people (more than in 2016) like Trump. And apparently people like Republicans in general even more than Trump — he didn’t drag them down.
If people were expecting a huge repudiation of Trump and the Republicans, it more like “you could do better” to Trump and a “but we don’t blame you guys” to Republicans.

The Lincoln project turning on Republican senators along with trying to get Trump out of office made absolutely no sense if they held any actual conservative principles but made perfect sense for grifting money from the left.
If you’re a conservative who despised Trump, getting Trump out of office but having a Republican majority in the Senate is a great outcome. But trying to get Biden a senate majority to help him court pack — you can’t call yourself a conservative and coherently support that.

I finally have an electoral map prediction if anyone wants to hear it.

I would think Republicans will easily win those Georgia runoffs if Trump helps rally people for a repudiation of the Biden win. They’ll just be much more motivated.
But if Trump had won, it would be looking bad now for a Republican Senate.

The polls were essentially correct give or take being completely wrong.

We need to make a list of all the people who want to make lists of people.

Little Winchester always claps for himself whenever he accomplishes anything. You’d think he was a Millennial.

Used peanut butter as bait, and somehow four times the mouse ate some of the peanut butter without setting off the trap. Finally, I switched to the classic cheese bait and got it.

With only 8 episodes per season, you’d expect The Mandalorian to spend more time on its central plot and be less episodic. Still, it’s really cool to spend time in so many corners of the Star Wars universe.

Finally, we can get back to the normality that was so bad people said, “Eh, might as well give Trump a chance.”

If the Trump presidency actually affected your mental health, I’m sorry to inform you that your main problems are not Trump.

I thought Biden was the Democrats’ best chance to beat Trump, but neither Biden winning nor losing proves or disproves that.
Though I was probably right.

I really admire how The Mandalorian integrates CGI with practical effects such that most of the time I can’t tell when it’s CGI. Like in the latest episode, I assume the frog lady jumping had to be done with CGI, but it still looked like a person in a cheesy costume.

Whenever I get too excited about current events, I like to think about how if I were alive during the FDR administration, I would have thought the government expansion under him would have been the end of the country. I might have been right, but not right away.
The things that can destroy this country are less like a gun shot to the head and more like smoking. It will take many many years, but eventually we’ll look back and say, “Yeah, that’s what did it.”
I guess one thing I’m not happy about the election is that I hate the two-party system but we came out of that election with both parties looking pretty solid. Back to the same old same old.

So how many votes did Trump get for himself by locking mailboxes in Oregon?

It was kind of surreal when I saw an ad for insurance for people in the military, and when they listed the branches they supported, they included Space Force.
Trump will have a legacy, and some of it is awesome.

Anytime my older son is whiny: “With an attitude like that, you’ll never be in Space Force.”

Kamala Harris has her pronouns in her bio if you were wondering what they were.
Is the idea that all 7 billion people worldwide need to announce their pronouns even though for 99.9% of them, no one was ever going to get them wrong? Seems… inefficient.
My guess is determining someone’s gender is one of those areas where the human brain could beat computers in both speed and accuracy as it’s specially designed for the task.

I’ve never once had anyone say anything negative to me on Twitter. My secret: good tweets.

They say it’s privilege to not care about politics, but the people who seem the most emotionally invested in politics are affluent white people.

I don’t know of any evidence of voter fraud, but at the same time, it’s hard to imagine the people making all these excuses for burning down businesses would draw the line at that.

I guess Timothy Oily Elephant is just going to play marshalls from now on. I have no problem with that.

A national mask mandate? Biden better run that by Amy Coney Barrett.

“The thing about Kamala Harris is that…”
quickly checks Kamala’s Twitter bio to find what Kamala’s pronouns are
“…shelher comes into office breaking a number of barriers.”

This “return to normalcy” with politics is basically the Joker putting on flesh-colored makeup and a regular suit and everyone saying, “See! He’s not destructive anymore!”

Neither Biden narrowly winning (or even Trump winning) would disprove 538 giving a 90% chance to Biden winning.
But if you reran the election 100 times and Trump won 47 of those elections, then Nate Silver would have something to answer for.

So is a political party ever going to really rally behind classical liberalism again? Or did we just get a little bit of that at the country’s founding and that will just have to sustain us until the end?

Classical liberalism: I believe in radical ideas about liberty — really old radical ideas about liberty.

I have to say: “Four Seasons” actually makes more sense as the name of a landscaping company versus a hotel.

Got a notification that I got a bunch of new Parler followers.
What’s Parler?

“As we all know, 538 is the first three digits of the phone number for Nate Silver’s pharmacist which he kept forgetting so he named his site after it. What this tells us about healthcare is…”

The left are a lot of people with very bad ideas who hate large segments of the population and want to control what people are allowed to know. This is not optimal.
People need to accept that our liberties — like freedom of speech — aren’t just to protect you but also to protect others from you because all of us have bad ideas and it would be horrible if any of us had too much power.

The Bill of Rights and the Supreme Court are supposed to protect us from the excesses of democracy.

If everyone is as skeptical of Biden as they were of Trump, it doesn’t have to be a bad four years.

So did Giuliani ever attempt to explain why he gave a press conference in front of a landscaping company?

It’s never okay for a man to cry. Testosterone is always trying to escape through your tear ducts. Cry for even a few seconds and you’re now basically a woman.

Yeah, I’ll believe punching up and punching down is a thing if you give me examples of a groups you despise but won’t make fun of them because it’s “punching down” and people you would never make fun of but it’s okay for others because it’s “punching up.”

I have to say, there’s at least a 10% chance Trump won’t win this.

So Twitter is basically everything they claim Russia is: They’re manipulating what information people see to try to influence the election.

It’s funny to think back to things I was amazed of in video games that’s hard to even explain now. In Dark Forces — the first Star Wars FPS — I found a small bridge I could both go under and above. I had never seen such a thing before.

Why does Jack Dorsey look like he’s broadcasting from a cave in Afghanistan?

“Anonymous is Miles Taylor.”
“Who is who?”

The main flaw of our political system is that someone has to win even though they all deserve to lose very much.

For all you doing your prediction maps, please also include your prediction from 2016.

Either the Democrats are going to have a landslide victory Tuesday or the polling is crazy wrong.

Don’t get needs confused with rights. There are many things you need — food, clothing, and shelter are the most basic — but none of those are rights. Someone has to provide them; you don’t just magically get them by declaring you deserve them.
Interesting to think modern man has more “needs” than ancient man — indoor plumbing, electricity, health care, education, broadband internet. Does that mean we’re more or less needy than our ancestors?
It’s also interesting to think that none of our rights — maybe besides a right to life — are needs. You can live in total oppression with no right to speech, to defend yourself, or to benefit from your own labor, but many would risk death to fight that.
Anyway, this has been your deep thoughts with Frank. I didn’t learn much civics in school, so I had to learn it on the streets from seedy-looking libertarians.

I have no prediction for Tuesday. I learned from 2016 not to pretend to know what’s going on.

If Biden wins — even if he wins in a landslide — it will only take a one-word explanation: Trump.
Of course, we were all expecting to explain an easy win for Hillary in 2016 that way as well.

March: “Let’s flatten the curve!”
7 Months Later: “Let’s learn to live as mole people!”

I hereby announce my resignation from The Babylon Bee in protest of them never publishing my article about Trump holding a press conference about his new calculator watch, saying the article was “dumb.” I can’t stand by such censorship. Also, it wasn’t dumb; they’re dumb.

Well, as long as the unrest is civil.

“If the New York Post just briefly admits there are five lights then they can go back to saying there are four lights.”

Right now, 538 gives Trump a 10% chance of winning. And how likely is Trump to seize that 10% chance? It’s 50/50.

People now talking about how close polls actually were in 2016 feels a bit like gaslighting. So many (other than 538) were giving Hillary a 99% chance to win. I was expecting an early bedtime election night after Hillary secured Florida.

I was thinking it might be distracting watching The Mandalorian now that I know about the Volume — knowing they’re all a soundstage surrounded by screens — but it’s just done too well to notice. The show looks like a $200 million movie.

Voting is a bit like trying to steer an oil tanker by millions of people throwing pebbles at it.

Replaced our vent hood so now I can finally cook ribeyes on a skillet again. I probably shouldn’t because of the gallstones, but worse case I think that’s just going to give me intense pain and not kill me or anything so whatever.

I liked the documentary about the making of The Mandalorian first season. It’s a bunch of directors who are absolute Star Wars geeks… and Bryce Dallas Howard.
When Dave Filoni was obsessing about some little Star Wars details, could just see her expression of “What a dork.”

This is the most important election since the last one but way less important than the next one.

I don’t know about the chance of riots if Trump wins re-election. Most people are rioted out and most of the people who really super-duper care about how awful Trump is are just kind of faking because that’s what they think they’re supposed to do.

What if Russia buys $15 in Facebook ads like they did in 2016?

I will make no prediction for the election. 2016 beat that out of me, and I acknowledge I have no idea what’s going on. I will have good explanations for what happened after the fact, though.

Both sides wants abundance for everyone, they just disagree on how to get there. At worst, it’s a problem of ignorance for one side. But if you see the other side as being evil, you’re actually the evil one for not acknowledging the good faith of the other side.
If someone disagrees with you — even on issues you think are super duper important — look at them as dumb, not evil. If you hate people for being dumb, you’re being a bad person.
(though you’re probably the dumb one)

I wonder if there were publications on November 5th, 1984, with articles like “Here’s Mondale’s path to victory…”

I’m not voting because I take my neutrality as a satirist very seriously. The last thing I’d like to be accused of is bias. The only thing worse than being biased is being a Democrat.

Remember when Obama won in 2008 with a majority in the House and Senate and that was supposed to change things forever?

What an exciting week! There’s another episode of The Mandalorian Friday!

According to 538, Trump will need to roll a 19 or higher.

Oh, I thought if it was an electoral tie, the House just votes, but it’s much more interesting than that. The new House — sworn in January 3rd — votes, but each state gets one vote. That sounds fun. No idea who would win that!

My question is how do we move away from these primitive win-lose contests to some other system not specifically designed to foster division?

Hot Take: Our free market contributes more to our liberty than our democracy.
Every day, the money you choose to spend causes influence, plus you get direct benefits back from it. This is much larger in our life than a vote every few years where the influence and benefit of it is often theoretical.

People are boarding up businesses because the far left in this country has become very regressive including the embrace of violence.

Remember: You have to win the electoral college and not the popular vote. If you’re just trying to win the popular vote, oh boy, you’re in trouble.

Voter registration is the first step toward voter confiscation.

All the money spent on “I Voted” stickers could have gone to food banks. Or bought a cruise missile.

Trust the polls? I don’t even trust the election results!

One day, you’ll tell your grandkids about this day, and your grandkids will say, “No one cares!” before shooting you with a laser gun and flying off in their jetpacks. Little punks!

Programming kernel-level drivers is fun. One runtime error, and you can crash Windows. It’s like C programming back when I was a kid.

If your mental health is really on the line today, Trump ain’t your main problem.

You have two bad choices, neither of which will make or break the nation. Simmer down, now.

All I want is Trump not to lose Texas by one vote or I’m going to hear it.

Brace yourselves for racism against Hispanics from the left.

$85 million wasted again McConnell and $100 million wasted again Lindsey Graham. Man, I should pick some Emmanuel Goldstein of the left to pretend to run against; sounds like a great scam.

“Grandpa, what did you do when that horrible authoritarian Trump ran for reelection way back in 2020?”
“I voted for him! And now time for your old school whuppin’!”
“No, Grandpa! Not with your cyborg strength!”

I didn’t vote today because I was really happy with either Trump or Biden. They both seem great.

I don’t think the Republicans will learn their lesson. Will Democrats?

If Trump wins, can both the right and left unite in ridiculing The Lincoln Project?

If you give Trump a 10% chance to win, he’s going to take it 100% of the time.

I’ll be pretty happy with any result where Dems can’t do their stupid court packing idea.

If you ever did anything other than ridicule the term “Latinx,” there is something wrong with you.

BREAKING: FOX News has retracted their call of East Carolina for Biden. Ends up it’s not an actual state.

So would Trump have cruised to re-election without the pandemic?

When I heard about some people going after Chris Pratt for not attending a Biden fundraiser, I just assumed it was just a handful of terrible people easily ignored. The response back to it make me think it’s much more.
So many people feel such a license for hate these days.

I would think the other news organizations would make more of a deal about The New York Post being locked out of Twitter.

I’ve decided I’m going to buy Pikmin 3 when it comes out, but I’m not sure what to do with my kids. I don’t think it’s fair they get free video games because their dad likes to play them. I certainly didn’t have that growing up.

To me, the biggest thrill in engineering is to understand maybe 7% of what I’m doing and just sort of bumble around until I get it working anyway.

Everyone can ignore politics if they want. You aren’t being a bunch of intolerable a-holes because circumstances are so unique and so dire you’re compelled to be that; you behave that way because you like it and that’s what you choose to be.

Considering he has one of the worst personalities in politics, really messed up the whole pandemic response, and has the entire news media, Hollywood, and Big Tech working overtime against him, Trump is actually doing pretty well in the polls.

I don’t know about zebras. For an exotic animal, just putting a bunch of stripes on a horse seems really lazy.

Most Trump Debate Advice: “Now if Trump could just not be Trump…”

You know all these debates are fake, right? They plan out everything they’re going to say ahead of time.

The only unforgivable sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, but I told my kids that the next worse one is making daddy wait.

I find the arguments that Biden is notably better than Trump pretty weak.

If Trump loses in November, odds of him trying to Grover Cleveland it have to be pretty high, huh?

If Trump wins, is that it for polls? That would make them seem completely useless.

The reason all those roadrunners were separated from their birdseed was because of coyotes.

I would love if these politicians who claim they’re going to make millions of jobs with their dumb schemes started an actual business and first showed they know how to make even one job.

A bunch of people who can’t balance a checkbook want to completely remake the economy.

Oy. Just saw that dumb “Vote for Biden” email from the Expensify CEO. “I just care about democracy!” No you don’t. I’m so tired of everyone doing this dumb red versus blue stuff and pretending it’s about something more noble.

BTW, I don’t really care much about democracy as an end in itself. I like democracy when it’s protecting my rights, and am opposed to it when it’s dismantling my rights. In principle, only unimportant things — not rights — should be up for a vote.

Does Mark Kelly dressing up as Hitler mean all Democrats love Nazis?
I don’t see how you can reach any other conclusion.

Mark Kelly needs to get out ahead of this and admit he loves Hitler and hope everyone forgives him.

Is the premise in The Sound of Music that the kids are so bad they scared off the previous governesses? Because they don’t try to sell them being difficult children at all. All seven of them together seem easier to manage than one of my four.
Where did they get all these puppets? I just don’t find this movie very realistic. When do they fight Nazis?
I was thinking if this were a movie made today, there probably would have been a battle between Maria and the evil Baroness. Or the Baroness would have hired a hitman to take out Maria (“I need you to solve a problem like Maria.”).

Getting close to Election Day. Whoever wins, it will be an interesting result. What fun!

The registration deadline in Texas was weeks ago. It’s too late. Stop bothering me.
And I was only going to vote in whatever way would make you cry the most. Because you deserve it.

Do any of the Friday the 13th movies actually involve the date Friday the 13th? I can’t offhand remember it in any of them I’ve seen, but I assume the series name comes from somewhere.

If democracy is on the line the election, and any vote that isn’t for Biden is against democracy, if Biden loses, shouldn’t the democracy lovers be happy with the democratic vote against democracy?

If Trump is the most racist president ever but polls show him increasing his minority support, does that just show that woke leftists, in the eyes of many minorities, are even worse than racists?
“Wow, this guy is a racist and doesn’t think of me as an equal… but he still thinks more of me than these leftist cancel-culture psychos.”

The Democrats might as well give up. It’s impossible to beat Trump. I saw awhile ago he put some locks on mailboxes.

I was telling my daughter about how I faked a UFO photo as a kid.
“So how did you do it? Did you go on the internet and look up pictures of UFOs?”
“The internet didn’t exist yet, sweetheart. I learned how to fake UFO photos by reading books.”

My wife asked why I faked a UFO photo. I didn’t know how to answer that.

Playing the Pikmin 3 demo on Switch reminded me how much I love Pikmin, but last time I played it was Pikmin 2 which came out in 2004. Nintendo needs more Pikmin!

The Cowboy’s combination of worthless offense and worthless defense really isn’t working out for them.

For efficiency in describing politicians, I really could use a word that means both “dumb” and “dishonest” at the same time.

If Biden wins in a landslide, it will be exactly what the polls say yet we’ll all be really surprised.

Started watching Schitt’s Creek sixth season. So far, it’s like the other seasons — okay funny, but I don’t see why it swept every possible Emmy category. It’s not Frasier.
I remember the first season started out kind of meh, but I eventually got into. My favorite character was Stevie, but she kind of felt wasted after the first season.

If the polls are way off and Trump wins, there will be a ready-made excuse with how this election was like no other with all the mail-in ballots and early voting. Still, it will feel like a final nail in the coffin for polling.

I think the press is less harmful making really dumb attacks against Trump than carrying water for someone like Biden.

If Trump loses, it will be extremely obvious why and hardly worth explaining, but if Trump wins again — oh the interesting think pieces that will require!

It’s either originalism or laws don’t actually mean anything and can be randomly changed by judges on a whim.

I really can’t tell if people are actually that clueless on what originalism means or if this is all some concerted trolling effort.

It was weird not having nine Supreme Court justices. Glad that’s over.

Trump could have the opportunity to appoint more Supreme Court justices. If he’s re-elected, it’s expected that at least one of the liberal justices will die of shock.

This right-wing power grab could mean the Constitution will stop progressives dumb ideas for a generation.

The reason the Republicans were able to appoint the last three justices is because they were given the Senate majority in 2014, got the presidency and retained that majority in 2016, and expanded that Senate majority in 2018 (probably in reaction to how Dems handled Kavanaugh).
Democrats had three opportunities to stop this democratically, but people voted against them. They can stomp and gnash their teeth all they want, but that’s what happened.

They should be an election misinformation warning on anyone who says it’s important to vote.

I still shudder to think how close we were to that absolute psychopath Merrick Garland being on the Supreme Court.

It would be pretty crazy for Trump to win reelection when he has all of the news media, big tech, Hollywood, and Trump himself working hard against it.

Voting isn’t a right. It’s a compromise since we’ve given the government the power to infringe rights. In a perfect world with all your rights protected, you wouldn’t even care about voting.

I had heard that Sarah Cooper just lip syncs to Trump’s speeches and then I saw a clip and that is exactly what she does. It feels like some sort of Andy Kaufman-esque joke, though I’m not sure who it’s on. Netflix?

Isn’t all music “country music” unless it was made in international waters?

I don’t think I’ll get a PS5. I’m afraid a lot of the popular games wouldn’t be appropriate for my children and I’m also afraid the console may fall on them.

“You told me to wake you when they had the election result.”
“What happened?”
“Trump has been elected to a third term. And he’s been possessed by the ghost of Hitler. And he’s now a werewolf.”
The Lincoln Project: Send us money and we will stop this.

With the way the Lincoln Project is wasting the money of gullible liberals, aren’t they some of the biggest conservative heroes right now?

Journalists need to deplatform Alex Jones because it helps them pretend they have more credibility than him.

Why would you doubt that the guy who has been a career politician for 47 years is corrupt?

The key to keeping your sanity in the Trump presidency has been to recognize you’re living through a comedy premise, and the last person you want to be if you’re stuck in a comedy is Dean Wormer.
“That’s the last draw, Trump! We’re putting you on double secret probation! Do you see how serious I am?”

Spending dollars is a lot like voting except people pay a lot more attention to dollars and you actually get something for it.

Remember how the last Supreme Court nominee drank beer in college? That guy was crazy!
Whatever happened to him? I think he now has a finishing boat in Florida.
No. Wait. He’s a Supreme Court Justice. The boat sounds more fun.

I am always optimistic. I know things can look bad now, but they will one day get better even if we can’t imagine how. And that’s why I’m hopeful that one day — even if I don’t live to see it — people will stop pretending that The Last Jedi was good.

Biden has consistently done great in all the polls and it’s starting to look like he’ll win in a landslide, but I don’t see anyone going “Biden is definitely going to win this!” as we’re all still shaken from 2016.

Ever think about what a disgusting name for an article of clothing “sweater” is?

I don’t trust anything the president says. I don’t trust anything from the press contradicting what the president says. It’s kind of like not knowing anything but much noisier.

VP debate reminded me why I don’t usually watch debates. Most of the time it’s just a contest of who can remember their talking points better. I actually like how Trump breaks up politics as normal. Politics as normal is dumb and bad.

Imagine a Trump presidency where all we know about Trump is from how Pence describes him.

Who won the debate?
The American people. It’s great to know we have so many quality politicians to choose from. And they have so many neat ideas!

A bit baffled by what people think Pence did in the debate that was “mansplaining” that was any different from the sort of rhetoric in any other debate. The only things that seemed like classic mansplaining was when Harris explained both what the words “debt” and “bounty” meant.

If they can just keep Biden safe and quiet in a basement and make sure he doesn’t get COVID until the election, he’ll probably win.

The debates are fun in that you get to watch Democratic nominees disavow all the leftwing ideas of their base.

Can you just think of all the whining when Trump coughs in Biden’s face every time Biden is speaking?

The goal shouldn’t be to get more people engaged and voting. The goal should be to have such strong protections for our rights no one even needs to care about voting.

“Joe Rogan debate! Joe Rogan debate!”
looks around to see if anyone else joins in the chant

If you can just add Justices whenever the Supreme Court doesn’t go your way, then you might as well get rid of it as it’s no longer a check and balance against the other branches.

It didn’t matter what a Republican president would do — Democrats would say he failed in the pandemic no matter what (and also what he did was somehow racist). But it would have been a partisan attack with no bite if the president projected more competence.

Steve Scully and Joy Reid should form some sort of anti-Twitter hacker task force.

If you were an abolitionist, could a candidate be so awful you’d just have to go ahead and vote for the pro-slavery guy?

I watched Hubie Halloween. It was like a lesser version of those Adam Sandler movies I laughed at in my youth. I chuckled a couple times!
It’s funny how Adam Sandler can keep playing the same pathetic lives with his mother character, but the character keeps getting more pathetic as he gets older.

“Are you going to make an orphan watch as you strangle his puppy?”
“I’ll tell you my position on that after the election.”

Biden’s answer on court packing gets worse every time he’s asked.

Obviously court packing is indefensible which is why they just have to avoid saying they’re for it.

This isn’t a small issue to dodge on. If Democrats plan to use a bare majority to pack the courts any time a ruling doesn’t go their way, they’ve nearly eliminated a branch of government.
I find SCOTUS to pretty dumb and I’d listen to ways to fix it, but to completely subvert it seems like it could break the Constitution.

The question is: Is Trump going to be able to articulate why courting packing is bad?

My daughter’s birthday wish was that there would be a vaccine for coronavirus, but I had to inform her that, since she told us the wish, it wasn’t going to happen. Sorry everyone.

How would you have responded to slavery if you lived 200 years ago? Do you act like the abuses in China are this nuanced problem we can’t do very much about? Well, there you go.

When you spend the first couple years carefully monitoring your kid to protect him from seeking out impending doom, the first time he sits still to stare at a screen is a rather glorious thing.

I learned about court packing in history class. FDR tried it when the Supreme Court ruled against him, but it was so unpopular he had to drop it. I wish the Supreme Court had stopped more of his crap.
Comparing what the Republicans did with Merrick Garland to court packing is like not being able to distinguish a misdemeanor from a felony.
“Stop asking if I plan to run someone over with my car. Anyway, I saw you driving 10 miles over the speed limit.”

Anything I don’t like is court packing.

Syndrome voice
“If everything’s court packing, nothing is.”

If the Democrats pack the courts, there’s nothing in the Constitution that says the Republicans then can’t take those added justices, put them in a rocket, and then fire that rocket into the sun.
Technically, they could do that to any justices they don’t like and not just those added through court packing, but that would break important norms.

I thought antifa mean “anti-fajita” but I found out it actually means “anti-fascist” so now the randomly burning down buildings and attacking people makes even less sense.

I bet you could now get overwhelming support for reparations if it was paired with never having to hear the phrase “white privilege” ever again.

I hope they all get COVID for this completely pointless hearing where some will praise ACB and some will yell at her and absolutely nothing will be accomplished.

Is there a moral difference between a third-trimester abortion and infanticide? If the goal is to end the pregnancy, you can deliver the child just as easily as kill him or her at that point. Seems like it would only be moral where infanticide is moral.
I know the typical response is to look away and say, “That’s a choice between a woman and Doctor Gosnell,” but knowing something is horrible and clinging to any excuse not to think about it seems like the definition of evil.

If you don’t want your culture appropriated, do what most people do and have a crummy culture no one cares about.

If I had absolute power, I would simply not be corrupted absolutely.

Man, it’s hard to take those Democratic senators seriously when you think of how many of them lost handily to Joe Biden.

Isn’t feminism completely backwards? It takes whatever men naturally excel at and inflate that in importance and say more women need to do that while treating the one thing women can do that men can’t — have children — as an obstacle to be overcome.
If I ran feminism, instead of trying to make women half of CEOs, engineers, or combat deaths — which is never going to happen — I’d just argue those are but dumb things men obsess about that aren’t nearly as important as motherhood.
Now, I don’t like saying bad things about men (we’re actually pretty awesome), but we do tend to obsess about dumb things like our careers to the detriment of our families. It would be nice if feminism reminded everyone what’s actually important.

I’m enjoying Fargo season 4. And it’s prestige TV; that means watching an episode is equivalent to reading ten pages of a book.

Isn’t originalism just the Rule of Law? The law means the same thing yesterday as it does today and as it will tomorrow.

It’s originalism or judges just make stuff up whenever they feel like. I’m not really sure what the middle position is.

Some people seem to understand “originalism” about as well as they do “court packing.”

Is it just me, or does ACB sound a lot like Mindy Kaling?

As an originalist, I think some of you dummies should look up what people actually mean they use the term “originalist.”

I don’t think terrible people with horrible views on politics arbitrarily deciding what news stories is allowed is a great business model, but what do I know?

All politicians are lying and misleading constantly. Just ban politics from the platform if it bothers you, but arbitrarily cracking down on things because of your own myopic politics is dumb.

“I’m an originalist. That means we interpret laws by–”
“So you want everything collapsed into a singularity?! Because that’s how everything started at the Big Bang!”

get up every morning at 5am
“Time to make the satire. Hopefully today I can fool the president.”

“If you’re for originalism, then why aren’t you a single-celled organism?”
drops mic
steps on dropped mic and trips face first into a wall

It’s been a rough road with The Babylon Bee — mainly because of conservative Christians’ inability to be funny — but one day we hope to be the next Borowitz Report.
It’s so bizarre. We’re just a bunch of guys who every day say, “What’s a funny take on things?” Yet there’s all these people who put these negative motives on us.

I’d say the secret to humor these days is to avoid giving in to being hateful. Everything thinks they’re opponents are so bad that it’s good and virtuous to be hateful toward them but it’s always bad and dumb.

An AR-15 isn’t fundamentally different from any other gun except that it has a handle that allows you to carry it like a lunch box.

Finally watching Amazing Spider-Man 2 since I now know it will come up in the next Spider-Man movie.
I wasn’t planning to watch it all in one night (it almost two and a half hours) but it was compelling enough that I did. Was a bit overstuffed, though.
Oh, and anyone who knew the comics knew what was coming, but that was harsh.

If you want to change this country for the better, one of the least significant things you can do is vote.

“Goblet of Fire” seems like an odd name for the fourth Harry Potter. It’s just something from the beginning that’s not really that integral to the plot. Seems like it should have been “Harry Potter and the Tri-Wizard Tournament.”
Isn’t the Tri-Wizard Tournament the worst spectator event ever? In the first event, (in the movie) Harry takes all that action away from the spectators. For the second event, everyone is just staring at water for an hour. For the third, everyone is just looking at a misty maze.

Thanks to COVID, no theaters have enough people in them that it’s illegal to yell “Fire!”

“Someone yelled fire to try to cause panic in a theater? What percentage occupied was it? …Oh, well that doesn’t count as ‘crowded’ so that was still free speech as ruled by the Supreme Court in Crowd v Shouter.”

Winchester just did something so sweet it almost made me tear up. He had picked up a toy lightsaber and started hitting me with it. When I pretended he was hurting me, he crawled over, pulled himself standing, and gave me a hug. #DownSyndromeAwarenessMonth

This might be the least important presidential election of my lifetime. I don’t really see much changing with either choice.
Most important of my lifetime was the 1980 election. Think of how much of history would have changed if that turned out differently.
Actually, isn’t the most important presidential election of your lifetime always the first one? So many cascading effects if that turned our differently. And the least important is always the current one as it will have the least immediate effect.
So, yeah, the election you should get all worked up about is the one when you were a baby. Man, that one could have completely altered history. Maybe that’s why I cried so much in 1980.
Oh no. My wife just reminded me that by my own logic, this is the most important election of baby Winchester’s lifetime. No wonder he’s been so fussy! Don’t let him down!

“Want to try Outlander?” my wife suggested.
I thought it sounded cool. The Outlander. I bet he kills bad guys.
“There’s an article here that says that show is not just for women.”
Uh oh. What is this about?
Well, seven episodes in, I must report the show is just for women. The main protagonist is a woman who spends most of the show in contemplation — and not cool guy-type contemplations like “How do I kill everyone in this room?” but more like longing for stuff and junk.
I tried to suffer silently, clinging to the scraps in it I found interesting, but every episode is so so slow plotwise. It’s Twilight all over again. My wife finally decided to be merciful and said she’ll watch that one without me.

There’s a lot of focus on making it easier to vote — which is a fairly useless act very unlikely to help someone — when it seems the better idea is making it easier to move — an activity in which one gets to pick his whole government which has a large effect on a person.
Moving is also a much stronger signal than a vote of approval or disapproval and much more likely to cause an effect in response.
What if it was really super simple to just pick which of the different state governments you wanted to pay taxes to and receive services from. Now there is something that would affect change very quickly and make voting look pretty useless in comparison.
The stupid win-lose elections where people get to pretend to control the governments they’re stuck in have to go. If there were instead some way to have two competing governments of taxes and services in the same area where people could pick one, that would open things up.
Moving is hard. But if it were super simple to say, “Of these existing governments, I want this one and not this one” man would that enhance our liberty and let us focus on things that more directly affect us than these dumb horse races.
Anyway, just brainstorming. Trying to figure out some better way to change things that just saying “Hey, everybody get out and vote!” for decades and decades and decades.

I didn’t vote for Trump in 2016, but if I were registered to vote (I’m not) and happened to be out on Election Day (which I probably won’t be), I’d vote for him this year. I’m not anxious to get on to the next, worse thing.
I mean, I think he’s pretty terrible — but most people do and thus try to stop him. So that works out. I’m just really afraid a large portion of the population will think Biden is smart and good and don’t try to stop him. That would be the worst.
Also, in 2016, I made fun of the “But… but… SCOTUS!” people, and I have to admit they were much more right than I thought.

The only possible way I’d be interested in an Avatar sequel is if the weird blue guys are the bad guys this time.

The fun thing about being a silly satirical site is having to constantly fight platforms who don’t want people sharing your articles.

What’s the slogan for Tootsie Rolls? “Makes you think of chocolate!”?
“Unidentifiable substance with slight chocolate taste!”

A big thing about the Fargo series is getting to see actors play against type, and we’re certainly getting that this season seeing Chris Rock and Jason Schwartzman playing mob leaders. It’s… interesting.

Man, it is hard to remember who Hillary had as her running mate in 2016. That guy barely gave an impression. It was like nominating “unnamed Democrat.”
It’s weird for me because I can easily recall the VP candidate on the losing side for every election up until Dukakis (I was nine during that election).

We’re not like those primitive idiots who burned books that offended them. We’re sophisticated. We burn DVDs. Or just delete from servers.

Hopefully by summer next year we’ll have a vaccine and have finished counting the ballots.

Remember when a president being impeached would be something worth bringing up?

What is Pete from Mickey Mouse? I guess he’d be a cat since he started opposite a mouse, but there is absolutely nothing cat-like about him other than his ears. He’s the worst anthropomorphized cat ever made. Medieval painters would reject him as looking nothing like a cat.
Wow Disney has gotten popular despite being so bad at drawing animals that all you can say for certain about characters like Pete and Goofy is that they’re of the order Carnivora.
Unless Goofy is a cow.
Apparently the story for Pete is that he started out as a bear but was changed to a cat when placed opposite Mickey. And he does seem between a bear and a cat, i.e., an indistinct mammalian blob.
Pete is definitely a character that would only fly when people were all “It’s a drawing that moves! I ain’t never seen such a thing!” When people were even slightly more discriminating, he would have been rejected.

“Here’s my new character, Pete!”
“What is he supposed to be?”
“A cat.”
“Have you ever seen a cat before?”
“We had a bear drawing, so we just added pointy ears.”
“How lazy are you?”
“Extremely lazy.”
builds media empire that eventually owns and ruins Star Wars

Watched first episode of Fargo season 4. It was good, but in one scene there was a closeup of a 1911 when it was fired, and the hammer just dropped and you saw a muzzle flash and nothing else. The slide wasn’t propelled back to recock the gun. It was very distracting.

It’s baffling that the left think they’re better than the people they rage again, but I’m guessing the Nazis had a pretty high opinion of their moral superiority too.

Antifa is an anti-fascist movement by people who can neither spell nor define fascism.

Remember: Voting is just the way the government gets your fingerprints on the murder weapon.

So when they make Amy Coney Barrett a Supreme Court Justice, will they send me a red robe and bonnet for my wife, or do I have to buy it somewhere? I don’t know where to get those.
And if dinner isn’t ready at a reasonable hour, will there be a special hotline to report my wife or do I just call 911?

“I said she’s a ROADS scholar. She knows a lot about asphalt.”

Ignoring politics is a luxury of people with lives and perspective.

Thanks to Hamilton, we’ve had to ban the kids from taunting each other with “You don’t have the votes!”

Isn’t Melania just accurately pointing out that no one actually cares about the kids separated at the border and they’re just a sometimes convenient political prop for some people?
I don’t think anyone in politics has legitimately cared about anything since the 90s.

It’s called “virtue signaling” because they’re public displays meant to signal one has compassion and tolerance even though the rest of their behavior testifies to the opposite.

The left are now about 50/50 promoting universal health care and cheering on people’s death.

Not all blue checks are bad. I have a blue check and I’m the coolest dude you know.

Though we like to play stupid politics games, remember that we’re all one country and we’re in this together.

I have no strong feelings on candy corn.

A song from Sound of Music came on Pandora, and it really stumped me when my daughter asked what that musical is about.
“Well, a woman becomes a nanny of like seven kids. Nazis are involved somehow.”

The take industry has to hope Trump is reelected because explaining why Biden lost and Trump won would involve lots of in depth analysis while explaining why Trump lost will be pretty straightforward.
Man, we’re going to get a lot of “What happens to the Republican Party now?” pieces, though.

It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of needle than for a rich man to enter heaven. For a poor man, it’s probably more like trying to get a camel through a wedding ring.

I’ll listen to someone about how dangerous the ACB Rose Garden ceremony was from someone who was also talking about how dangerous the mass protests are. From everyone else, their concern about COVID just seems political.

What if at the end of a campaign ad it said “I’m Donald Trump and I don’t approve this message.”? What then?!

I wonder how often refs accidentally let go of a flag and then have to quickly come up with a reason for it so they don’t get in trouble.

“Rest in Power”? Sounds like something Arnold Schwarzenegger would say if he played Electro.

Oh, I missed the last thing everyone is freaking out about. I’ll just wait a couple minutes for the next thing to freak out about.

You can’t make health care a right. You can say “I’d like to try to provide high-quality health care for everyone.” Of course, probably the best way to do that is capitalism, but everyone has decided that’s too scary.
I can think of an example of when rights were denied in regards to health care, but it’s with the NHS when with Charlie Gard the parents weren’t even allowed to pay for a treatment to try and save their son.

Are theaters going to be able to last until next year when the big movies (hopefully) screen? They’re possibly delaying things a year just to drop it on streaming because that will be the only thing left.

Star Wars Squadrons is only $40 as a new release? What’s wrong with it?
When a big studio release isn’t even the now customary $60, that just makes me think they’re planning to make their money on microtransactions or something.

The desert island analogy is that since all rights should be innate, you would also have them on a desert island. So if you think something is a right, would it make sense to assert it on a desert island?
The key is that real right can’t be given to you. It can only be infringed by another — usually through violence or threat of violence.

Oscars for this year are going to be interesting. Certainly best chance for a Bill & Ted movie to win best picture.

Hopefully we can move past Trump to get things back to the way they were before Trump when things were so bad people were like, “Eh, might as well give Trump a chance.”

Okay, having watched Disney’s Peter Pan with the “What makes the red man red song?”, the “It may contain outdated cultural depictions” warning on Disney+ might be underselling it a little.
That said, much happier with the warnings versus the memory hole as has happened with some TV show episodes.
The Song of the South kind of mystifies me. Disney seems to have recognized that was a bad idea as soon as they released it and its never hit home media in the U.S. Yet, we somehow all know “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” despite none of us having seen that movie.
And I hear they may take the characters from Song of the South out of Splash Mountain not for being racist but I guess for being accessories to something racist.

Winchester loves climbing as high as he can and then diving off head first, such as off the back of the couch. It’s very nerve-wracking.
This morning, he climbed on top of a storage bin that was in the kitchen and dived head first onto the tile floor, doing a handstand briefly before falling on his back. He cried a bit and then climbed back up to do it again.
He is a bad baby. We need to get him in that baby military school.

A mouse ran into the bathroom while I was sitting on the can and for the first time ever I thought, “Maybe we should get a cat.”

I really don’t get what Trump’s strategy is. And since I can understand up to 8D chess, he must be doing at least 9D chess.

It’s hard to believe it’s less than a month until the election. It kind of felt like this would never be over.
Oh wait. Lots of mail-in ballots. It may never be over.

“Sorry, nothing here is vegan.”
“What about water?”
“Every time we pour a glass of water, we punch a cow.”

Speaking of old Disney movies that might not be quite appropriate anymore, I’ve never heard anyone get dinged for bigotry against the English, but Dick Van Dyke’s accent in Mary Poppins kinda feels like a hate crime.

I don’t even remember why everyone hates Stephen Miller — or even who exactly he is in the administration.

So is Tenet a shoe-in to win best picture this year? It’s only competition is like Bad Boys for Life and Trolls World Tour.

What’s the 538 odds of anything significant happening in a VP debate? I can’t even imagine anything occurring tomorrow that will move the needle at all unless I dive into scifi scenarios. And would we even trust a Trump from the future who emerges from a time portal?

People tend not to notice bigotry they don’t care about (or actually support), but those it’s directed against notice little else.

Seems like something very wrong happened in the Breonna Taylor case — whether the approval of the raid or the manner in which the raid was conducted — but the law does not recognize it as wrong.

Peaceful transition of power? What was the last peaceful day we had?

I bristle a bit about calling the Breonna Taylor shooting “tragic” as I think that undersells things. The way those raids were done, this was bound to happen. It’s like someone who drunk drives all the time and one day has an accident that kills someone. It was inevitable.
That’s also why I was never on the “arrest the police officers” movement. It seemed myopic. Most likely the main failings that led to Breonna Taylor’s death were higher up.

I guess I’m just kind of used to Trump saying authoritarian nonsense and then his actions being about the same as any other politician. Trump is the only politician I know of whose rhetoric is worse than his actions.

It might be easier and produce more clarity if people point out which things aren’t systematic racism.

To conduct raids like that — where police don’t announce themselves or can’t be sure everyone inside knows what’s happening — is a choice to occasionally kill innocent people. That seems like something that should be done for more dire reasons than “I tawt I taw some drugs.”

The state reserves for itself the right to initiate violence — to use violence in response to non-violent action (e.g. not paying taxes). You are not being a good American if you aren’t hyper-critical of this. It should never be taken lightly.

If Trump is reelected, that would set a record for consecutive two-term presidents, wouldn’t it?

Everyone getting all worked up every time Trump acts like Trump feels like a dog barking every time the vacuum is turned on.

If it’s a pre-existing condition, you don’t really want health insurance. You want health care.
But I feel like arguing health insurance should really be insurance is like one of those losing linguistic battles like proper use of the word “literally.”

It seems patronizing to explain why rioters randomly victimizing people undercut the idea they want “justice,” but a habit of the far left these days is to try to appear advanced in thinking by pretending not to understand simple things.

I don’t actually know much about Amy Coney Barrett. Does she think the Constitution actually means something in limiting government power and its meaning doesn’t suddenly change because people think they now know better?
There’s this concept called “the rule of law” where the law means the same thing each day and applies equally to all people. It’s kind of a radical concept, but I think it’s worth looking into.

My 5yo daughter to my 7yo son while they’re watching Rise of the Skywalker: “Stop making fun of my favorite movie!”
Ugh. At least she didn’t pick The Last Jedi.

When she was four, she just suddenly got into Star Wars for some reason and really loved Rey and “Ben Solo.” Then she saw Rise of the Skywalker in the theater and was blown away by it (“Rey’s a Skywalker now!!!”). So I can only ever dislike the sequel trilogy so much.

Latino: a person of Latin American origin or descent
Latinx: a Latino being addressed by an extremely white person

Aww. ACB’s youngest child has Down syndrome.

The far-left have come up with a different kind of fascism and call it “anti-fascism” and a different kind of racism and call it “anti-racism.” They’re no better than who they rage against.

Many on the left are not going to be able to help themselves from making hateful attacks against ACB because for them their main motivator is hatred against certain types of people much more than some sort of coherent ideological stance.
There’s nothing particular about ACB that led to them hating her; it’s just what she represents (she’s the “other side”). So they started with hatred and now it’s grasping for justification.

ACB should have been like that Merrick Garland who refused to accept a nomination in circumstances like this.

So are Democrats going to be able to do anything about ACB other than shake their fists? I guess they can also make some threats about what they’ll do if they get the Senate and the presidency, but they’ll need Biden onboard.

If he paid what taxes he owed, good. It’s immoral to pay more taxes than you need. Every dollar in the government goes there to die, while dollars that stay in the economy can breed and reproduce.
I’ve just never gotten caring what someone else pays in taxes. Seems very unAmerican.
I find what people pay in charity much more revealing, especially those who go on and on about how we have to care for the poor but give nothing of their own wealth toward it.
I’d say it’s your American duty to use your wealth to help others as we’re such a rich country.
But man, don’t pay a buck more in taxes than you need to.

I do agree that Trump paying $750 in taxes is much weirder than him paying nothing.

Enola Holmes was cute. Good “free” movie; better than usual straight to Netflix fair.

Trump is so selfless he passed a massive tax cut knowing he wouldn’t benefit from it since he already doesn’t pay income taxes.

I didn’t know either Millie Bobby Brown or Henry Cavill was British until I saw that Enola Holmes. What’s it with British actors stealing all the American parts?

Have they ever thought about adding instant replay to professional wrestling?
“Though the ref missed it, instant replay does in fact show illegal use of a folding chair.”

Emojis are for twelve-year-old girls. A man should never use them because he has no emotion to express through them.

Logically, it looks like Trump is going to get walloped in the election, but in my gut I still expect him to get re-elected.
2016 beat the idea of making predictions out of me, though.

Want to have fun on election night no matter who wins? Try Not Caring™. It worked out great for me in 2016 and promises a fun end to 2020.

Fargo season 4 is out?
Man, it’s hard to keep track of shows these days. It is September, so I guess a lot of shows still shackled to networks should be coming out.
Wish I had known about Fargo last night because we needed a new show and went with Outlander on wife’s suggestion. I was all fine to check it out, but then she read me a defense of it that it wasn’t just for women. I did not know it needed a defense.
It seems like a chick show. But I guess the Battlestar Galactica guy is involved.

I think we as a country deserve a completely insane debate that will be talked about centuries from now.

I didn’t think Trump’s “Sleepy Joe” nickname for Biden had much legs, but Biden better not fall asleep during the debate today or it might stick.

If Biden loses the election, a great headline would be “GOOD-BYE-DEN”.
Just thinking ahead.

Chris Wallace needs to yell out a good “I am the law here!” to get them both under control.

Biden trying to say “systemic” was not a good idea.

I think both candidates did great. I’m really excited we have these two great choices, though it’s a bit agonizing we can each only pick one.