All the “there wouldn’t be violence without cops!” people don’t yet deserve to live in a civilized country. Send them someplace else and then they can come back when they’re ready.
I think a lot of drastic things have to be done to change policing in this country, but the “abolish the police” children should not be a part of that discussion. They have nothing useful to add.
Some people are complete sociopaths when police commit violence, justifying it no matter what. Others are complete sociopaths when criminals commit violence so they can justify their “abolish police” nonsense. They’re basically the same sort of person.
We should separate those two groups out and let them have their own pretend discussion (though, again, they’re so much alike they’ll probably end up making out), and then rest of us can work on real solutions.

It’s weird Scientific American has endorsed Biden since Biden was initially anti-science when he first entered the Senate at about the same time science was invented.

I’ll believe the left is pro-science if they come up with examples of issues where they used to vehemently disagree with the right but then switched to agreeing with the right because science told the left they were wrong.
As it is, they just seem like everyone else: Touting scientific data when it tells them what they already believe and coming up with reasons to ignore it otherwise. They certainly ignore math when it’s against them (“Billionaires will pay for everything!”).

A Harry Potter RPG may be enough to convince my wife for us to get a PS5. The only video games I ever saw her play by herself were the Harry Potter games for the Wii.
Well, if they do another stimulus and the check we get is big enough, we’ll get a PS5 and an AR-15 — prepared for whatever comes!

writing the Bill of Rights
“So we got the first two most important rights down — freedom of speech/religion and a right to bear arms. What’s the next big one?”
“Oh. I know. Making sure soldiers can’t be quartered in your home. I bet that’s going to come up A LOT.”

Trump’s “if you leave out the blue states” was just a dumb way of putting things, but the people pretending they don’t understand the point was a criticism of how Democratic governors and mayors handled things is also dumb.
I don’t know how much blame any one governor or mayor deserves, but that’s what you should be arguing if you’re not just partisan and dumb.

My older son (7) isn’t very big, but he’s now going through two one-gallon jugs of milk a week. I guess I’ll find out if those “But I’m drinking milk!” ads from the 80s are true.

I read that Jennifer Rubin is now against Trump.

Could you imagine if Trump was an enthusiastic supporter of critical race theory? I could hardly imagine a more horrible thing.

I always get She-Hulk confused with Ms. Pac-Man.

What sad news I would have for poor young Frankie playing his NES that one day you would have enough money for all the video games you wanted but by then you would not have the time to play them.

teaching Bible to my kids this morning
ME: “And who is the strong man in the Bible?”
MY SON: “Samsung!”

I’m very strict about keeping my kids away from profanity. Being so young, they should only use amateurfanity.

On no. How do we turn the 2020 knob back down to 11?

Remember when you get bored in Sim City and you just keep hitting the disaster button?

My ideal Supreme Court is done like jury duty, just grabbing a few random people from across the country with basic reading comprehension and them deciding whether or not a law is allowed based on that one six-page document.

I told my daughter what I do for The Babylon Bee, and she said “That sounds mean.” 🙁

We get it. Absolutely everyone said something hypocritical in regards to appointing a SCOTUS close to a presidential election.

“If the Republicans replace RBG’s seat, we will shut down this country… oh wait. Uh… we’ll set fires and riot and… Oh, already doing that too. Um, we’ll screech really loud… Oh yeah, never stopped that since 2016. We’ll think of something new to do, and you won’t like it!”

The Republicans gained two seats in the Senate in 2018 because everyone just loved Trump’s SCOTUS picks so much. The message from the American people was loud and clear: Appoint more people to SCOTUS!

If we keep shifting control back and forth between Republicans and Democrats a few more times, I’m sure that will fix everything.

Going into the 2018 election, Trump had appointed two Supreme Court Justices. Everyone knew RBG might not live through Trump’s term and that the time to do something about him appointing a replacement was then.
The Republicans added two Senators to their majority.
That said, I feel it always needs repeating that I find the Supreme Court to be really dumb and the least well-thought-out part of our Constitution.

Man, and think if Trump is re-elected. The next oldest Justice is Breyer at 82.

If the Democrats pack the courts when they get power, you know Republicans will do the same when they get power and then after a few administrations there will be like 500 Supreme Court Justices (well, 501 so there are no ties).

One thing I’ve noticed from Super Mario 3D All-Stars, is that only with Mario 64 can you tell at one glance it’s an old game. For someone who lived from Atari to NES to SNES to N64, the last two decades feel stalled graphically.
I mean, you’d never mistake an NES game for an Atari game, or a SNES for an NES game. N64 was almost alien technology compared to the previous.
And I remember when you had to upgrade your computer every two years if you wanted to play the latest computer games. Then they started targeting consoles and you only had to upgrade when Sony decided it was time for next-gen.
Well, there was already a Bee article on this. I just can’t help but geeze-out. Anyone remember boot disks?

Did RBG’s dying wish come with an apology for Kelo?

We need strong checks and balances. Most of our politicians are arrogant morons, and the only thing keeping our country stable is it’s really hard for those idiots to implement their poorly-thought-out radical change.

Thinking the Democrats are idiots who shouldn’t wield power doesn’t make you a Trump supporter; it just makes you not a rube.

I don’t actually know how to politically rank Attila the Hun. How was he on taxes?

If the Democrats respond with court-packing, I don’t find completely destroying all faith in the Supreme Court as an institution as the worst outcome ever.

It’s quite possible I’m super naive, but I believe Romney is one politician who has some integrity, as rare as that is.

Packing the courts seems as wise for Democrats as Reid ending the filibuster was.

You talk about justice, but where were you when those kids stole me lucky charms?

Modern political commentary be like: “This is just like from the Handmaid’s Tale when Bob Handmaid fought Dumbledore.”

A lot of the far left these days seem honestly confused when they don’t get praised for being hateful.

Wasn’t going to vote for Trump, but I do have to admit the “But… but… SCOTUS!” people had more of a point than I imagined.

I’ve read the Constitution before. How much does Supreme Court Justice pay?

Science says sex differences evolved like hundreds of millions of years ago. I could see being confused by it then, but I don’t know why everyone is pretending to be confused by it now.

“So, Adam, here is Eve.”
“Is this a new animal?”
“Nope. A person. Just like you. But a different type.”
“Whoa. Slow down here.”

“And to make new humans, you’ll have to come together.”
“But what if we’re so different we don’t get along?”
God laughs

Let’s all pledge that, no matter who wins the election, we will not accept the results.

I know we have to fill up a news cycle, but is the fact that Trump downplayed the virus at first really new information?

Trump acts like Trump
“This is the biggest scandal ever!”
How do… how do you still have the energy?

Dune (2020) – Working class Paul Atreides has always dreamed of competing in the famous Arrakis dune buggy race, but those stuck up Harkonnens win it every year. But thanks to a magic “spice,” Paul could win the big prize… as long as he doesn’t get eaten by a sandworm!

Tagline: “Fun is the boredom killer!”

I don’t really care about Dune as a property (never read it), but I really really liked Blade Runner 2049. Then again, I don’t care for the name “Timothée Chalamet” and I don’t understand it. And the actor looks like someone who would be named that. I miss the Twin Peaks guy.

Whether Trump is re-elected or not, I have very good explanations for either that will make me sound really smart and on top of things.

Star Wars Episode VII: Here are some cool new plot points
Star Wars Episode VIII: Those plot points are dumb
Star Wars Episode IX: No, you’re dumb

Remember when Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize just for existing? That feels like an important step on the path to Trump.

They’ve never even confirmed COVID-19 is real, except with like microscopes.

I feel like if Trump squeaks out a win or if Biden has a close win or if Biden has a landslide or if Trump has a landslide, I’m just going to nod and say, “Yep. Makes sense.”

Probably the worst people in this country are millionaires ranting about billionaires.

If I was president, I would have just told scientists, “Hey! Create a vaccine and make it snappy!” and we would have avoided this whole mess.
And I wouldn’t have fiddled around with any mask mandates. I would have just said, “Hey, country, we’re going to pretend to be ninjas for the next couple months.” And no one would fight me on it because everyone likes to pretend to be ninjas.

Cuties sounds like the most controversial movie out of France since Les Cousins Dangereux.

No one is against capitalism. It’s like how people complain about how modern technology is destroying us but they never follow through and live like the Amish.

I do like watching streaming TV shows, but ultimately all entertainment is optional.

Can’t believe how many people are judging the weird movie for pedos without even seeing it.

I’m pretty sure climate change is going to win. That’s why I cast my allegiance to it.

I like how in Cobra Kai Daniel’s wife reacts to everything as someone in the real world would react to it. She’s the Frank Grimes of the series.
And it’s interesting how Cobra Kai being half-hour episodes affects the feel of it. It’s very punchy, so to speak.

They should sell muffin to cupcake conversion kits.

Maybe they should just put a warning before Cuties that it’s a product of its times when people didn’t know any better.

You can tell which companies are progressive by how they have their foreign slave labor beaten if they say anything transphobic.

A good slogan for Biden: “Your great-grandparents supported him when he first ran for Senate. Shouldn’t you support him for President?”

I don’t want a “well regulated Militia.” I want a militia determined by the free market.

tries to get chant going in the cafeteria
“Joe Rogan presidential debate! Joe Rogan presidential debate!”

I’m actually really looking forward to the presidential debates. They should be crazy. If they’re boring, it will be the worst thing 2020 has done yet.

The people who riot over a police shooting without even waiting for any details to come out are not convincing me they care anything about justice.

So has anyone actually read the JK Rowling book or does the Cuties rule not apply?

Blaming fire on climate change isn’t really convincing people you’re science smart.

I believe if you win the popular vote in a presidential election, you should get a framed certificate saying so.

I keep being impressed by the writing on Avatar: The Last Airbender. Best I’ve seen for a kid’s show.

Writing a very exciting confrontation between two major characters for the next Superego. It’s exciting for me because I always realize how little I had thought out ahead of time and how much needs to be thought of on the fly.
The sweet spot is when the characters write themselves but are also surprising. You don’t want it to be too predictable — the worst is the reader knowing what will happen — but you don’t want someone to act out of character just for the surprise. It’s a balance.

Knowing about the Volume, I was initially distracted looking at the backgrounds in each scene of The Mandalorian trailer, but ultimately it was so awesome I forgot about that.

Treating science as a religion is terrible for both science and religion.

People “love science,” but it has no use for your love. It would be much better if you understood what it is and what it isn’t instead.

Read my kids this morning one of my favorite parts of the Bible: 1 Samuel 8 — which I know as God’s libertarian rant — but this time I realized something horrible about it.
In it, God, via Samuel, lays out why kings are horrible because they’ll push you around and take your stuff. To a libertarian, this seems great, as God sounds like a fellow traveler. But I realized it’s ultimately a reason for libertarians to despair.
Look at it his way: God Himself explains to the Israelites why big government is bad. And what happens? They decide to get a king anyway.
Even God can’t successfully argue for libertarianism.

I’m holding my decision on whether to vote for Trump until I see if the New York Times endorses him.

The far left are having to try to find ways to denigrate historic peace progress in the Middle East.
Does it ever to occur to them that maybe, just maybe, they’re not any better than the people they hate?

I think a lot of confusion stems from the fact that to most people the word “woman” means “human female” and they don’t understand why it would mean anything other than that.

I don’t get people and all their pronouns. If you’re not a professional writer, stick to regular nouns.

I didn’t get people running with the whole 6% of COVID deaths thing like it was some revelation. I thought we already knew most people who die had a contributing factor; it didn’t seem like new information.

Going after the specifics on the “In Defense of Looting” person feels like beating up on the mentally ill. Hard to believe not a right-wing plant.

I think my favorite part of the first Bill & Ted is the unlikely friendship of Billy the Kid and So-crates.

People like socialism over capitalism for the illusion of control. Capitalism promises nothing while delivering more than you could ever want. Socialism promises everything and fails at basic necessities, but people want the promise.

On my morning jog through the park, I didn’t see anyone dying of COVID. And yet they say there is a pandemic. Poppycock!

I don’t think I’ll ever tire talking about what’s wrong about The Last Jedi. I’m already bored talking about what’s wrong about Rise of the Skywalker.

When I first heard about mixed martial arts, I imagined it would be like Bloodsport, with flying kicks and flurries of karate chops. But anytime I’ve glimpsed it, it’s like two people awkwardly grappling while getting in weak punches.
One of these days, I’ll have to give it a proper chance. As popular as it is, I know I’m missing something. It’s not like a joke the rest of the world plays on the U.S. by everyone pretending to like it like soccer.

Trump can be pretty terrible but the media is also terrible so many bad stories about Trump are either made up or blown out of proportion. I have this terribleness line about Trump where below it I assume it’s true and above it I need evidence and backing by non-Trump haters.
The recent story about Trump casually hating on people who died in WWII is well above that line. I need more than anonymous sources said so.
I’m not saying he couldn’t have done it; I’m just not going to assume it’s true as presented.

I don’t see what Trump said about McCain as evidence Trump would insult random people from WWII. McCain said bad things about him but no one who died in WWII ever said something bad about Trump.

I’d pay $30 to watch Black Widow this weekend — and I don’t even care that much about Black Widow — but I’m not paying that for another “Hey, we turned a cartoon into live-action!” cash-in.

When I earned minimum wage, I got $5.05 an hour in Idaho. I could not afford rent at that wage, but I was a teenager still living with my parents, so it didn’t come up. I used the money to buy books for college.

I really think Hillary Clinton and Carole Baskin could be close friends.

According to critical race theory, if you roll a 20, you do double damage.

Note to video game developers: You can make cutscenes pauseable. We have the technology.

Man, all I want is small government and lots and lots of wars.

Critical race theory? I only deal in critical race facts.

It’s great living in Texas where I can run A/C all day at whatever setting I want and there’s still plenty of electricity for everyone.

I’m boycotting Mulan because of human rights reasons and because I find all of Disney’s live-action versions of cartoons to be soulless cash grabs.

That has to be a tough pill to swallow for the left to see Hispanics and other minorities moving to Trump.
“Sure, he’s kinda racist against us, but we still like him better than you.”
Racist is actually less threatening than woke.

My kids are watching this Tangled series, and the villain of the episode used the “You don’t want to end up on the wrong side of history.” line. Thank you. I always thought that fit best for a villain trying to justify doing something horrible.

What do you think it would be like if The Simpsons were still on the air today? I bet Homer would get an iPad.

I cooked a couple of ribeyes and my wife made a chimichurri sauce for them—basic hunter/gatherer dynamic.

Rewatching Cobra Kai since it’s on Netflix now and it is such a good show. I was hoping the kids could watch it with VidAngel—they loved Karate Kid—but the subject matter is way too “adult” even if the language was censored.

Anyone who excuses rioting is a terrible person, as bad any racist they rail against.

Wow. That New Mutants movie is so scary, critics are refusing to see it.

This applies to a few recent news items: There is no legal requirement to comment on a shooting where you don’t know all the facts.

You want to defund the police but you don’t want random people using AR-15s to fight riots? Make up your mind!

The NBA is just going to seem like a bunch of rich poseurs on justice issues if they continue to refuse to condemn the Chinese government.

The tension in a lot of these police shootings is that I feel everyone is always rushing to judgment (I felt pretty burned after initially joining the bandwagon on Mike Brown), but if there isn’t some sort of pressure, you can’t be certain authorities will even look into them.
Of course, now these shootings usually fade in concern before the more immediate problem of not wanting your house or place of business burned down.

I don’t find the NBA players very principled, but I also never watch NBA so they don’t have to care what I think.
Though everyone should care what I think because I’m right.

First my wife got my kids into Little House on the Prairie, and now they’re all watching and enjoying the Andy Griffith Show. My kids are going to end up decent and boring.

Some of you almost make the RNC sound entertaining, but I ain’t falling for it.

Everyone is right to be dismissive of the criticism of the U.S. from people who financially benefit from China but never speak against that greater evil. The hypocrisy makes all their words hollow.

It just feels like everyone is playacting what they think they’re supposed to be doing from the civil rights movement, but no one actually knows how to change anything.

I’ve been boycotting the NBA over them playing basketball.

They have Reagan in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War? Can you play as him?

None of you have convinced me you think black lives matter, but I do believe all of you really love righteous yelling.

I haven’t played a Call of Duty in a while, but I’m kind of excited for the next one. Shooting a bunch of Commies on the orders of Ronald Reagan just seems like simpler, happier times.

REAGAN: “I need you to commit crimes.”
BOB CALL OF DUTY: “What kind of crimes?”
REAGAN: “The war kind.”
BOB CALL OF DUTY: “Those are the best crimes.”

My kids all love NYC now because that’s where Hamilton lived.
“Hey, kids, did you know I used to write for the New York Post, which Hamilton founded?”
They didn’t care 🙁

My 4yo the other day: “Play the song about the bastard, son of a whore!”
🙁

“Lives that Fit My Preferred Political Narrative Matter” would seem a more fitting slogan for most.

Well, obviously Trump can’t stop the rioting and looting. I guess the argument for him is at least he’ll like it less.

We all know that five minutes after Trump is out of office, the Republicans could nominate another Mitt Romney and the left will all be like, “This guy is way worse than Trump!”

It’s hard to believe the people making excuses for rioting think black lives matter. They just come off as sociopaths who don’t think much of anyone.

I’m not sure it’s a proper question, but it’s still one I’m most curious about: Do we know anything about Kyle Rittenhouse’s parents?

There’s nothing wrong about celebrities talking about politics. It’s just most of them tend to have really insipid takes and yet they get large platforms for them which is why it tends to be so irritating.

“I have this really important, original thought everyone needs to hear!”
No, you really don’t, man. I’m sorry.

I get frustrated that so many people fall on the solution being “Get out and vote!” — the same solution for decades. You’re not going to fix anything voting for one of the two major parties we’ve always been voting for.

I don’t find it hard to say “burning down other people’s homes and businesses because you’re mad about something unrelated” is always wrong, and I don’t respect anyone who has trouble saying that.
And are we certain any of the looting and arson is actually been political? I’ve see non-looters and arsonists excuse it as political speech, but I haven’t seen any actual looters or arsonists explain themselves.

Ranting how bad Trump is like Gaffigan did is completely pointless. Pretty much everyone knows that. The thing is, the left is also over the top terrible. You have to compare the two and explain how one is better than the other or you’re just talking to one side.
I mean, everyone has been ranting about how terrible Trump is for four straight years. Try a new strategy.

“To beat Trump, we need you on the left to be less terrible than him, okay?”
“No deal.”
“Well, could you be less fascist than him?”
“Nah.”
“Less desiring of violence?”
“Absolutely not.”
“More coherent.”
“Uh uh.”
“Better hair?”
“Probably not.”

America wasn’t built on racist ideals. It was built on the least racist ideal — that all men are created equal — an ideal so powerful it transcended the racist men who first signed on to it.

The “allies” who conflate arson and looting with protesting do more harm that the people who complain about any protesting.

My kids love Hamilton so much you could probably get them to give you two twenties for a ten and they wouldn’t feel cheated.

My kids are watching The Andy Griffith Show. I had never really seen it before. I had assumed he was a widower; I didn’t know his wife was found to be a Communist spy and killed a bunch of people when escaping execution. I assume that comes up again in later seasons.

With some reviewers refusing to review movies because they’re scared of the ‘rona, how are we going to get the sissy perspective on new movies?
“The hero fired a gun in it and it was really loud and I cried. One and a half stars.”

“In Defense of Looting” is the closet anyone has gotten me to voting for Trump. I don’t know how you read that as anything other than “You think Trump is bad? The left are way way worse.”

I don’t get being immediately so sure of the Jacob Blake incident one way or another, but I do get the idea that one worries that sort of thing won’t even be looked into without some sort of public pressure.

white supremacists burn down an African American church
TODAY’S LEFT: “So what? They had insurance. And really what’s ‘property’ anyway?”

Indulging in one’s anger is pretty much always selfish.

A good conspiracy theory would be that “In Defense of Looting” was funded by the Trump campaign.

#BidenRiots? That’s as dumb and partisan as #TrumpVirus. Biden doesn’t have the power to get anyone to riot.

Democrats run most of the major cities but they aren’t very good at it.

I don’t think it helped when Biden said, “Everyone riot! Riots are great! Why aren’t you rioting right now? Are you watching something off of Netflix? What? Is it any good? Oh, I might check that out later, but only after I riot.”

This is a Flight 815 election. We’re all quite lost, and I don’t see any possibility of a satisfying ending.

drinks a ton of vodka
“Let’s use 3 as a letter!”

It’s not white supremacists burning down black neighborhoods. It’s like white guys with black power fist tattoos.

Read the novel Die Hard was based on, Nothing Lasts Forever, and while most of the big action elements from the movie are in the book, it’s a completely different animal from Die Hard. Definitely a case where the movie is better than the book.

If you’ve ever been shot with a paintball, those things can hurt like the dickens… but not enough to make you want to stop playing paintball.

Old sofa is being taken away today and the new one doesn’t arrive until Wednesday. That’s two evenings without a sofa. I vividly remember all the other times in my life I was temporarily without a sofa. It was a bitter, miserable existence.

Going to take an unpopular opinion that campaign yard signs for Animal Crossing is cute and nowhere near as lame as saying, “We need to Pokemon Go to the polls!”

When is politics over? I am tired of politics.
What I hate about politics now it’s so myopic and focused on the present day. It’s listing one’s grievances and what they think the government should be doing, but no coherent philosophy linking those grievances or allowing one to judge what is proper for the government to do.
It really is a miracle this country came to be built on eternal truths like “all men are created equal” — truths so profound they were able to outgrow the biases and limitations of the men who wrote them.
My question is what do we do to ensure this country can fight for individual liberty a thousand years from now, not eventually bloating and collapsing on itself like a beached whale.

Thanks to everyone who supports The Babylon Bee. We like to create satire that espouses a wide variety of viewpoints about owning the libs.

Maybe I should predict the 2020 election not on what I think what will happen but on what I think we deserve. Perhaps it will be really close with lots of recounts.

Well that’s the second to last time I trust Steve Bannon.

So you have “anti-fascist” and “anti-racist.” All you need is one more time the left uses “anti” when they mean “pro,” and you have a trend.

The Obama speech made me really nostalgic for making fun of Obama.
It’s no fun making fun of Trump. That’s like ridiculing a clown. But Obama was so elitist and haughty and arrogant yet incompetent — he was perfect.
I don’t think Biden will be anywhere near as fun, but I’ll give it a good college try if he’s elected.

I don’t know how Portland became the capital of racism and fascism but I hope those protestors are able to overthrow it.

I think it’s becoming clear that while Democrats may be good for a number of things, they should never run cities.

You should never be impressed by a politician reading a speech off a teleprompter.
How often in our lives do we need it reenforced how empty words are — especially the words of a politician? Apparently, 80,000 times isn’t enough.
Partisan politics is just a dog constantly returning to its own vomit.

The main problem of racism is the demonization and hatred of your fellow man, but many think demonization and hatred is righteous if employed to fight racism. And that’s why we’re not getting anywhere.

I heard Biden plans to defund Space Force and leave us space vulnerable to space threats.

I’m reading “Nothing Lasts Forever” because of its historical value as being the basis for the movie Die Hard, though it is a bit weird to read a Christmas story in August.

I’m pretty curious how Trump will react if he loses. But I’m also curious how the left will react if they lose to Trump a second time. So whatever happens, it will be interesting and fun!

There was never a good time to premiere Fish Police, but this would have been an even worse time.

Ad that would get me to vote for Biden:
some left-wing weenie drones on about all his ideas to change things only to realize Biden had fallen fast asleep while listening
“Biden 2020: He’s too old for radical change.”

Democrats still hold onto their crazy conspiracy theories even though they’ve never even proved there is a Russia.

I’m hyped for the new Wonder Woman movie. Does that make me a feminist?

Dark and gritty is good for Batman and the Punisher but few other superheroes.

I really think Batman would work better as a TV series, Netflix Daredevil being a good template for it. Batman is fine fighting mobsters and more grounded villains; he doesn’t need a $200 million special effects movie.
Batman actually comes off as silly to me when he joins with the Justice League to fight aliens; it really emphasizes he’s just a guy in a costume.
That said, he would win in a fight with Superman.
Oh yeah, when does Superman finally go into public domain? I’d love to try to make an interesting Superman story because it seems so difficult.

The only time superhero masks seemed to work was the 1989 Batman. As a kid, I was convinced it was another actor than little Michael Keaton playing Batman.

I remember one thing that surprised about that Space Force Show is that China was the villain. Despite the Chinese government being a good villain, you don’t see that very often for obvious reasons.

After disassembling the switch panel and the light fixture and using a multimeter, I diagnosed that the problem was I needed to change the lightbulb.
I guess just some LED bulbs are cheapo and will go bad after a year or two but that’s way different than when an incandescent bulb burns out and makes it look like you have a weird electrical problem (turns on briefly when you turn the switch off, etc.).

Partisanship means you could have one of the worst presidents in history but most of the attacks on him will still be stupid nonsense.

It seems like there might be a Babylon Bee joke about this Rose Garden stuff, but then I’d have to read about what people are actually saying and I can’t bring myself to dive into what I just know is going to be new scraping of the bottom of the barrel of stupidity.
I need everyone to be less dumb so then I can make an even dumber take as satire. If there is no way to go even dumber than reality, I got nothing.

I would love to see Batman fight antifa. That would really work out because Batman is kind of fascist, and I think most of antifa would really benefit from getting punched in the face by a billionaire.

One warning sign in a man’s bookshelf is if all the books are hollowed out and have a gun inside.
It’s a warning he’s awesome!

And if he has any of my books, that means he’s a really cool dude.

Charlie Kirk is a real person? I thought that was just another term for “straw man.”

“Why does the Joker look so clowny?”
“I don’t know. Why does Batman looks so batty?”
“It’s in his name. But the Joker is called the Joker, not ‘Clown-man.’”
I don’t want to admit my daughter has a point. It would make me look weak.

Oh no. Now my kids are asking my about the movie Batman v Superman.
“Why did Batman want to fight Superman?”
“Because… Ugh. Don’t make me revisit the plot of that movie.”

“Who won the fight?”
“Well, Batman would have, but then Superman said ‘Martha.’”

There are a few politicians I kind of like. Those are the ones I should be most scared of.

What if absolutely everyone handled the pandemic terribly?

I was on the Fantastical Truth’s podcast talking about Superego, the Babylon Bee, and little Winchester. Check it out!

They don’t care about black people. If they actually cared, they’d worry whether their tactics are effective. This is all about them.
Bad protesting behavior isn’t from caring too much. It’s from caring too little.

How would the left feel if a bunch of Kimberly Guilfoyles mobbed and shouted at them every time they sat down to eat?

Trump doesn’t have to be great. He doesn’t even have to be good. He just has to clear the low bar of being better than the left.
Unless Biden successfully divorces himself from them.

I don’t even remember why Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign faded so quickly. It’s not like she had a memorable misstep like with Rick Perry. She was just blah and no one was excited for her.
Well, now they’re pretending to be excited for her.

I just don’t see getting mad at someone for voting for either candidate considering who the other choice is.

If someone put a gun to my head and made me choose between Trump and Biden, I’d do an aikido move and disarm him.
The mistake was putting the gun right to my head. Now I know where the gun is and I can grab it and disarm you before you can react. If you stood a few feet back and pointed the gun at me, it would be a different story.

What I never would have guessed when all this happened is that the anti-Trump people on the right would end up as even bigger principle-less grifters than the pro-Trump people.

Seems so simple.
“I oppose Trump but I still hold onto my core principles which I don’t believe Trump embodies.”
But I guess it’s complicated if you want to stay active in politics because then you have to back someone. And the only way to do that is to abandon principles.

If you have a government that needs smart, competent people to run it, it will fail horribly. If you have a government that’s just fine with someone like Trump or Biden at the head of it, it will last forever.

Biden is older than the last four presidents (including Trump). Clinton, George W., and Trump were actually all born the same year, 1946.
For a minute, I thought he was older than all the living presidents, but I forgot about Jimmy Carter who is now 95.

So is the reason it’s okay to discriminate against Asians in college admissions is that there’s “Asian privilege”?
It seems like you don’t hear a lot about discrimination against Asians, even though such discrimination exists (and they faced horrible discrimination int he past). I’m guessing because Asians — financially — tend to do better than most Americans on average.
As a race, they’re not narrative friendly to the current most popular narrative on race. So they kind of get ignored.

The two parties to me are just two different choices of directions away from where I would like the country to go, but I don’t get depressed because I’m a Christian and I try not to put my trust in temporary things.

It’s tough being the only reasonable person — neither too far left nor too far right — but it is something I must do alone.

“This is automatic garbage collection. We’ll handle it like magic.”
“I’d rather have a way to manually do it just in case.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Well, I’m done with these objects in memory. Can you get rid of them?”
“No.”

TRUMP: “I don’t like clamshell packaging. It’s too hard to open!”
the left marches holding clamshell packaging and declare that clamshell packaging was the only thing that stopped Hitler

At times, it seems like Trump controls even more of the left than he does the right.

The last time Democrats had a woman candidate for VP, they won Minnesota.

Current events have proven that Trump should randomly blow up more foreign generals.

I don’t know how much more I can take of the left pretending to love the post office. Can’t anyone just say what they think without a bunch of performative nonsense?

Oh yeah. Cancel culture. It’s dangerous to say what you actually think.

The Bible’s stance on racism, as far as I see it, is that all people are of equal value before God. Also, the sin of racism is not a worse sin than your own.

Trump is tearing up railroads. He’s going to ruin our ability to get from coast to coast by rail. He’s going to destroy the heart of this country, the extremely important railroad!

All this USPS thing sounds like a bunch of other stuff about Trump where people act like what he’s doing is some giant threat to democracy and then you found out it happened all the time during Obama’s administration and no one thought it was even worth mentioning.

When Republicans die, I see a disturbing number of people on the left cheering. When a Democrat dies, I don’t see the right break out in celebration. The left will say this is because Republicans are so evil, but can you see people reaching the opposite conclusion?
And I mean I see people on the left ghoulishly cheering who I follow — follow because they’re funny accounts. But I don’t see that from anyone on the right I follow. That’s why it seems to me much more wide spread and tolerated on the left.

I saw someone put a mailbox into another mailbox to mail it far away. This seems like textbook election tampering.

I still can’t believe Disney+ didn’t have any other Star Wars or Marvel series ready near launch. I know they already got a ton of subscribers, but it seems like they would have captured more people without kids if they released those one after the other.
We’re going to have a second season of The Mandalorian before the first of the Marvel series — announced well before Disney+ was launched — is out. Are the people making those just having a bunch of trouble behind the scenes?
Man, I guess I need to give props to The Mandalorian crew to be able to put out a second season less than a year later even with the ‘rona.

If you were able to have whatever you could imagine, the problem would be that your life would be limited to your own imagination. So be happy you don’t get everything you want; otherwise, you wouldn’t get better things.

I saw some dogs barking at the mailman. Were they working for Trump trying to suppress voting? Were they Russian? They certainly didn’t speak English.

Ugh. Now they’ve gone from pretending to care about USPS to pretending to care who speaks at the DNC.
I wish everyone could lose this election.

“Poseur” is the poser way of spelling poser.

PHASE 1: Put locks on mailboxes in states you have no chance of winning
PHASE 2: ??
PHASE 3: Win re-election

“Trump called it the ‘Chinese virus’ so I’m going to call it the ‘European virus’!”
Why do people keep thinking the way to beat Trump is to be dumber than him?

If you aren’t being directly paid for political commentary, I don’t get watching one of these conventions. I mean, I kinda get paid for my political writing, and I’m not even marginally tempted.

The absolute last thing that should convince anyone is a prepared political speech. If I could, I’d make them illegal.

We have an unwritten rule that we don’t write down rules.

How does Bill Clinton not get canceled?

I paid $20 for the Trolls sequel. My three older kids watched it five times in the 48 hours they had, and I felt I got my money’s worth. I don’t see paying $30 for live-action Mulan that should eventually be on that platform for “free.”
For one, there’s just something I plain don’t like about the naked cash-grab of making live-action versions of all their animated movies. Plus, my kids aren’t big Mulan fans.
I would easily pay $30 for early access to Black Widow and probably about any other Marvel movie. Winchester had just been born with Endgame came out, and I would have easily paid $50 to be able to watch that at home.

I was thinking of that silly “We need morality more black and white in video games article”, and from a Christian perspective, morality is black and white.
But all people are gray. There are no clear good guys and bad guys.

I do find it a bit disturbing that so many on the left are focused on the simplistic “We are the good guys and these are the bad guys who need to be defeated.”
And how can they be so blind to what terrible terrible people they are?

I made the original list of Trump’s trustworthy journalists but they took me off the list when they found out I lied about being a journalist.

I don’t know who the cancel culture people are after who are worse than they are.

The line from the Hamilton’s Schuyler Sister’s song “Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now” always gets me because you can imagine them saying it yet no one says that now despite us having boundless more opportunities and advantages than people back then.
It’s a wondrous time. We’re very lucky to be alive right now. It’s sad so many don’t see it that way, but that’s a problem of perception.

7yo: “She hit me!”
4yo: “Because he pinched me!”
7yo: “You told me to pinch you!”
4yo: “I didn’t want you to pinch me that hard!”
I’m staying out of this one.

So Elena of Avalor in one episode celebrates Hanukkah with a Jewish princess, but she’s in the same universe as Sofia the First who celebrates Wassailia instead of Christmas. So does their universe have Judaism but not Christianity or is Sofia a heathen?
Eh. Whatever. It’s all trash trying to teach little girls that monarchy is good.

I just realized that that Ewok made for TV movie is not available anywhere. I watched it a bunch as a kid but haven’t seen it in decades and was kind of curious to show my kids. Does Disney now have the rights to it?

I realized from watching the Mandalorian doc on Disney+ I’m from the expanded universe generation of Star Wars fans. Return of the Jedi came out when I was four and Phantom Menace when I was in college. Growing up, the only new Star Wars existed in my head (with help of books).
Had a dreams a year before Ep. I was released of finally getting to see a new Star Wars movie in theaters. I just could not believe that what I always wanted since I was a child was actually happening. Don’t think it’s possible for me to ever anticipate something as much as that.
Oh yeah. When Phantom Menace was being announced, that was pre-YouTube. Had to spend like an hour trying to download the whole trailer and maybe a QuickTime update. No wonder kids today scream about dumb things; everything is easy for them and they don’t have any real problems.

The left get upset when businesses don’t share their politics but they should be happy because the left are idiots and their politics are terrible and if a business was dumb enough to be just like them it would probably go bankrupt.

All I know about Ellen DeGeneres is that she never once said a kind word about me.

To end this divisiveness, maybe we should all vow here and now that, no matter who wins, we won’t support the president.

The authoritarian impulse of many young people is pretty scary. Much scarier than whatever bigotry they think they’re fighting.

You have it really hard.
Except compared to 99.99% of people in the past.

I listened to the Superego: Fathom audiobook, and it is awesome. It should be available in the next few weeks, so get your Audible credits ready.
Joel Richards, who narrated the first Superego, is back for the sequel. I remember when I found out the first was becoming an audiobook and got a list from him of all my made up scifi words so I could tell him how to pronounce them. That was surreal.
I hate making up scifi words. It’s my least favorite part of science fiction writing. My first draft is always filled with a bunch of brackets where I later have to make up some word or name to go there.

The NRA isn’t the right to bear arms.
The 2nd Amendment isn’t even the right to bear arms.
It’s an inalienable right that exists no matter what though it can be infringed through the use of force.

When kids are failed by their parents, you can’t make that up with better schools. You can’t even come close. Many will rise above that situation, but it’s a huge handicap.

Little Winchester just did his first proper point. I kissed him on the head while he was in his highchair and saw him pointing at my shirt (it has Baby Yoda on it).

The most privileged people in this country are the ones who believe their rent should be free.

If you want to control who has guns, you’ll need a lot of guns.

It’s some nitwit fantasy that you can just throw around money and stop crime. To stop crime, you must dress up as a bat and punch poor people until they’re too scared to do crime.

Senators are pretty old. Only 5 current Senators weren’t born yet when Biden first entered the Senate in January 1973.
I’m still younger than every single Senator. That’s kind of nice. This was the first presidential campaign a major candidate was younger than me (Buttigieg).

You don’t deserve to pay rent. You deserve to live in a hole in the mud-covered by a few leaves feebly trying to protect you from the elements.
I just can’t understand people seeing all the luxuries and advantages afforded by the modern world and their reaction is “I deserve to get this for free!” No, you don’t even deserve the opportunity to pay for it. That’s life being unfair to your advantage.

If I had to pick the one major problem with society today, it’s whining. The second major problem: Being a bunch of sissies.

Fear the people who pretend not to see the difference between China and the U.S. because what they’re doing is setting up excuses for the horrible authoritarian things they want to do.

Lately satire has just been trying to figure out next week’s news.

If you spend any time worrying about billionaires, you’re an overly privileged idiot.
My advice: If you really have no actual problems of your own to work on, instead of inventing problems to get all worked up about, go help other people who do have real problems.

If you’re having drift problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems but a Switch ain’t one

I keep saying one of these days I’m going to look up what in the world QAnon is, but it just seems more fun not to know.

The Back to the Future movies really hold up. The kids loved them as just fun adventure stories. All it takes is a bit of explaining about the 80s.

If the left really believed climate change was going to end the world, it would be the only issue they ever talked about. Instead, they constantly chase after every cultural war squirrel communicating that climate change to them is just one partisan issue among many.

“Hands up, don’t shoot” is the “Play it again, Sam”/“Beam me up, Scotty” of civil rights chants.

Everyone who loots something should pretend that ten times the value of what they just took went toward the reelect Trump campaign.
Of course, if some are Trump supporters, that’s like a double win.

My recent experience with the USPS is I set up a mail hold online that was supposed to end last Tuesday and since then I’ve gotten my mail delivered once and still haven’t gotten the mail they were supposed to hold.

In these uncertain times, buy my books.

Now that the absolute smartest people on the left have exposed Ben Shapiro as the leader of antifa — just as QAnon said — I think it’s time to look at the leadership of BLM. That really feels like it has Charlie Kirk’s fingerprints all over it.

When you have to go back decades to find an example of something you want to prove about a person, that actually hurts your case.

Men think masks make them look weak? Doesn’t everyone agree that in the original Ninja Turtles animated series that Shredder looked really lame without his mask?

31 years later
More like Turner & POOCH!

A sickness of modern society is placing an almost religious significance on fulfilling one’s lusts, even going so far as to commit human sacrifice to the cause.

One of the big draws of the far left is being able to be horrible and hateful toward people and be praised as righteous while doing so. And thus the far left is being filled up with the sort of people attracted to such a prospect.

It’s good there’s finally going to be some new next-gen consoles. I really want to pay $500 for imperceptibly better graphics. I bet if I hold a magnifying glass up to the TV screen, I’ll really see the difference.

I have trouble believing even John Kasich likes John Kasich.

The far left may screech, but it will probably help Biden to make his running mate a merciless cop.

I guess the first question for Kamala Harris is does she still think Biden is a racist who committed sexual assault.

I mean, she can go “Yeah, but he’s still better than Trump.”
But I assume she’ll give an answer that’s much more weasely.

Kinda annoyed by both people acting excited about Kamala Harris and those acting like she’s some particular threat to the republic. She’s just a regular terrible politician who shouldn’t have any power over anyone, but unfortunately, that doesn’t make her exceptional.

I’ve never conserved conservatism, but it seems like that would involve something other than pretending everything the Democrats and the left do is awesome.
I mean, it seems like there should be at least one thing that significantly distinguishes you from a mindlessly partisan Democrat, but what do I know?

Man, first presidential debate isn’t until end of September, and that’s only part of this thing I’m still looking forward to.

I still don’t care about the VP debate.

I’m guessing we’ll get some explainers on what happens if the president-elect dies before inauguration.

I’d think I’d rather a horrible person be grudgingly tolerated than to once again see people trip over themselves to lionize an aggressively mediocre person.

It’s a bitter pill for the left that they have Trump as their foil and still come off as the bad guys.
My advice for taking on Trump is don’t be worse than him, but no one listens to me, the smartest man on the internet.

Remember in January when we were freaking out that WWIII was going to start because Trump blew up some Iranian general?
Simpler times.

That samurai game is PlayStation only? Come on, man. Why does Sony keep stealing joy from we PC gamers?

All the billionaire obsessives seem like some weird species of Karen.
“Help! Police! I saw someone walking around with more money than he should have!”
“And how it is affecting you?”
“It just is!”
You have way more than most people throughout human history. You can choose to focus on someone who has way more than you, but that’s just choosing to be ungrateful and miserable.

I’d be more annoyed at how picky an eater my 4yo is if her favorite food wasn’t beans and rice.

What’s so bizarre about the cancel culture people, is that most people when they hear a terrible opinion just go “What a terrible opinion.” What’s hard to understand is this Nazi/Soviet impulse that everyone who disagrees with you is evil and must be destroyed.
Who even has time to go after people like that? Don’t you have a job? Or at least an Xbox?

Letting people run rampant destroying things is also oppression.

They’re not so much “anti-racists” as much more bizarre racists.

You know those canvas money sacks you only see in cartoons? I once had a real one of those, but instead of a big dollar sign on it, it had the words “DO NOT REMOVE FROM BANK.”
I used to keep my money in it as a teenager. I didn’t trust the banks. They couldn’t even keep track of their canvas sacks.

Have there been any interviews with rioters? Like them explaining why they’re looting a Target or setting fire to a random business in their own words?

If it’s so uncomfortable wearing a mask, why did we never hear ninjas complain about them?

The government should just pass a law saying someone has to make a vaccine.

The idea of Cancel Culture is that a few hateful weirdos get to dictate what’s acceptable discourse by randomly mobbing and terrorizing people so everyone is too afraid to dissent. Some say this is a bad idea.

Been finally watching that Mandalorian documentary series on Disney+. It’s been really interesting, but man you have to see the 4th episode about the technology used. It’s mind-blowing. I had no idea how revolutionary it was.
I was remarking to my wife, “They didn’t seem to use much CGI.” I was wrong. Basically every scene. But the big difference is they didn’t do it in post.
Now I want to rewatch the entire series just knowing how it was filmed.

Why do people always talk about killing baby Hitler? If I went back in time, I think I’d feel a lot less guilty to kill teenage Hitler. That teenage punk probably deserved it.

My kids’ current favorite song is the first one King George sings in Hamilton.

I have a “new name” for President Trump: President Rump… ‘cause he’s a butt!
Pelosi can have that if she wants.

A lot of people out there should be protesting their own awfulness before they worry about protesting the awfulness of others.

People are adamantly opposed to past slavery. It’s about the biggest evil anyone can imagine.
As for current slavery, people are pretty “meh” about that.

If Joe Biden is elected, it could destroy America. Biden has vowed in his first 100 days to collide America with an equal mass of anti-America.

If they wanted the 1619 Project to be more popular, maybe they shoulda put some wizards in it like that JK lady who thinks biology is real.

Who are your favorite fictional billionaires? Mine are Batman, Scrooge McDuck, and Elon Musk.

Expect the government to educate your kids about as well as they do anything else.

Neither choice for 2020 is going to destroy or save America, so try not to get all worked up about it.

“Well, we can’t both be called ‘Virginia,’ so you change your name to ‘West Virginia’ and we’ll change ours to ‘East Virginia.’”
“Okay. And we’ll change our names at the same time?”
“Yep.”

If a man likes cats, there’s a 60% chance he’s a Bond villain.

If I were at the tech hearing, I’d ask about the coming crisis of us running out of ones. I’m not an idiot — I know you can’t run out of zeroes. But the country only has so many ones.

ME: “Who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark?”
MY 4yo: “Jesus.”

This might be my all-time favorite picture of me.

I need to come up with a good name for my emergency coffee: Starbucks Vias shaken up in a bottle of room temperature water.

Seeing who celebrates the death of political opponents is a good way of identifying who are basically Nazis/Soviets without the ability.

If you disagree with me on anything, you are denying my existence and basically trying to kill me.

I’m still not sure what tik tok is so I agree with Trump banning it. Just seems like the safe thing to do.

All the people having to keep argue “Kneeling during the anthem isn’t about disrespecting the country” seem like a cousin once removed from “The Confederate flag isn’t about celebrating slavery” people.

Not to get all racial, but I think a big mistake of any civil rights movement is letting white leftists participate. They will take it over and make it about stupid nonsense.

“So there is this thing Zoomers like and…”
“BAN IT!”

It kind of feels like everyone participating in allowable protest for the NBA are just giving cover to oppression in China.

My 4yo: “I’m like Alexander Hamilton. I’m HUNGRY!”

So we actually have a Space Force now? When do we get a space war?

Millennials don’t like that the person who got less votes can win the presidency because of the electoral college but they’re fine with the Quidditch team with less goals winning because they got the golden snitch. I’ll tell you which one is dumber.

They should do an updated version of the Punisher where instead of his family being killed by the mob he’s out for revenge after being canceled.

We’ve been carefully playing some selections from Hamilton for the kids, and we knew some questions were eventually coming.
“What’s a bastard?”
“What’s a son of a whore?”

Yeah. I wanted to wish someone “Happy Biden.” Good job, autocomplete.

As much as people complain, everyone who leaves earth eventually comes back.

Remember to spend time each day thanking God for all you have.
If you can’t be happy with what you have now, you’d still be miserable if you had a thousand times more.

Excusing protests and certain large memorials shows the left is as actually concerned about coronavirus as they are with climate change.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Our country’s mission statement. Do we still all believe this?

There aren’t any new truths we need to advance. There’s just old ones we need to stop ignoring.

Rap is poisoning our kids’ minds. My son just said Alexander Hamilton could beat Batman in a fight.

Fishing is fun because it seems like this harebrained scheme and it’s always surprising when it succeeds.
“I’m going to put a piece of food on a hook tied to a string and then pull in a fish when it bites it.”
“That’ll never work.”

Half of AOC’s tweets are attempts to explain why the other half aren’t as dumb as everyone thinks they are.

A good Biden tweet would be: “I won’t write embarrassing tweets because I don’t even know what Twitter is (a staffer I never interact with wrote this).”

I guess I need to read more about the civil right movement. I honestly don’t know anything about John Lewis beyond him being a mindlessly partisan Democrat — which is quite the opposite of impressive.
If you want a legacy, though, I highly highly recommend staying out of partisan politics.
Anyway, I will endeavor to learn more about the young John Lewis, who sounds like an impressive individual. Any good book recommendations?

I guess… um… I guess you have to give Trump credit for taking tough interviews.
I wonder what Trump’s popularity would be if he did all the exact same things but stayed hidden in a basement like Biden with no access to Twitter.

I’m listening to the final version of the Superego: Fathom audiobook (available to the public soon). It really is the best way to really hear your own writing for the first time, though it’s way too late to do anything about it.

Goonies never say die, which is why they failed their German class.

The goal is to get to a society where we pretty much never think about race and just treat each other as equals, but people keep saying the way to get there is a detour through constantly think about race in absolutely everything.

Solo was a perfectly cromulent Star Wars movie.

Netflix suggests The Karate Kid Part III
“Why would you think I’d want to watch that?”
“Well, you just watched The Karate Kid Parts I and II.”
“I’m still not following.”

“There’s also one starring Hillary Swank.”
“That’s a lie.”

Why doesn’t the Democrats get canceled for being the party of slavery? Apparently the statute of limitations for canceling goes back to at least 1619.

Watching Back to the Future Part II with my kids. I’m trying to see what they predicted right about 2015. So far, just the TV aspect ratio.
This plays way differently now because when you see rich Biff, you instantly want to trust him since he reminds you of our successful president.

So exactly how much do we have to pay in reparations to never hear the phrase “white fragility” again?

I can’t imagine why some people say with a straight face that the solution is to “vote.” I can’t even imagine an outcome with the current choices to 2020 that will make things even marginally better.
It’s like our problem is that we’re being attacked by zombies and preyed on by vampires and our solution is to adjust the ratio of zombies to vampires.

Cultural appropriation isn’t a thing, and if you think it is, you’re a racist.

If you’re so against slavery, why do you still buy stuff from China?

You’re not “pro-science” if you put up total COVID-19 cases as if that’s some useful, informative metric by itself.

I only heard a lot of people say it wasn’t funny, but I enjoyed Space Force on Netflix. I liked all the characters, and the Carell/Malkovich dynamic was really good.
I didn’t care for the whole thing about his wife being in prison and they never tell you why. I had to Google to make sure I didn’t miss something. That’s dumb.

At its current trajectory, eventually The Lincoln Project will ask for funds for a time machine so they can go back in time and murder Lincoln before he forms the Republican Party.

The Old Guard was such a paint by numbers action movie in the beginning, it bored me. I became more interested nearer the end.
I think thematically what it needed was seeing the Old Guard on a regular mission doing some good or something. We only ever saw them on the run and it never really establish why we were supposed to root for them (except through exposition).
I also saw that it’s the first comic book movie directed by a black woman, which I had trouble believing because there’s been a million billion comic book movies now. I guess bad old racist Hollywood for taking this long.

“They can’t delay Tenet because of a little virus!”
“Is a Christopher Nolan movie really worth killing grandma over?”
“Yes. Most of them, at least.”

They’re going spend hundreds of millions of dollars to get us to pick between Trump and Biden.

We went to the moon a long long time ago.

I don’t know about the Trump strategy of trying to paint Mr. Magoo as a radical extremist.

If you were impressed by that lady getting naked in front of Portland police, they have powerful protests like that every night at a strip club.

If you abolish the police, won’t the whole Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman type incident happen more often?
Actually, what happens when someone gets shot and there are no police? Anyone going to look into that, or do you just kind of shrug?
I know I say this about a lot of left-wing ideas, but I don’t think you thought this through very far.

It’s Winchester, the coolest little dude!

The bravest people in the fight against cancel culture are the people on the left fighting to end it.

I think I remember the left fighting for free speech as much as the right, but I might have imagined it.

If I had more time, I’d cancel people. I’d hunt down anyone who disagreed with me on the Export-Import Bank and try to get them fired.
“Did you know what your employee thinks about the EXIM Bank? …What do you mean you don’t know what that is? You’re next on the list!”

I’ve seen responses like, “We need to cancel people because there are bigots out there making us feel unsafe!” Really? More than how you’re making people feel unsafe?
“You run into a nazi in the morning, you ran into a nazi. You run into nazis all day, you’re the nazi.”
Variation of Raylan Givens there.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”
Romans 8:18

Religious freedom isn’t some secondary freedom. It’s the whole reason we have this country. We lose that, we have nothing.

They can’t convince you against the truth so they’ll make you too scared to say it. The truth isn’t worth losing your livelihood over, is it?

The left is trying to end liberalism.

I guess one of the weirdest things about the DeSean Jackson anti-semitism is why make up quotes to make Hitler seem less racist? Of all the people to pick to reform, why pick that guy?

A lot of cancel culture is the left struggling how to be bullies at the same time as being victims.

Think of how many lives would be saved if we banned cities.

What exactly is writing “Black Lives Matter” in front of Trump’s building supposed to do when most of the police abuse happens in blue cities completely controlled by Democrats?
If you don’t carefully guard your movement, partisan politics will overtake it and render it completely pointless.

The best social justice scientists are working their hardest to figure out a way to bully JK Rowling into saying 2 + 2 equals 5 so we can all finally move past this.

The “Cancel culture isn’t real and also it is good” are the absolute worst people in the country right now. Virulent racists now have someone to look down on.

At some point, don’t we have to move forward assuming there will never be a vaccine?

People have it in their heads that one’s politics is a reflection of their innermost soul, and that’s so much nonsense. You can teach a parrot to say anything by giving it a cracker, and what it says tells you as much about the parrot as people’s politics tell you about them.
There are horrible people who will parrot things you like and good people who will parrot things that are anathema to you. We think judging a whole person by a statement is better than judging a person by their race, but it’s only marginally better — a slightly diluted poison.

If you think liking the current president is enough to cancel someone over, then you’re a weirdo radical extremist and much more what’s wrong with this country than Trump.
That’s why the cancel culture people are squealing like stuck pigs: It’s a really tough pill to swallow that in the age of Trump, even people on the left are recognizing you as the concerning villain.

If the only way you can get conformity for your viewpoints is through fear, then maybe you should re-examine whether your viewpoints are any good.

We used to excite people with ideas about liberty and equality, and now it’s all about making people too scared to ask questions as the bullies don’t really have any coherent argument beyond emotion.

The fact that I call my carry gun my “pop pop” shows I’m not ready for it.

Presidents can’t wear masks! What if Trump wears a Biden mask and Biden wears a Trump mask? This election will be so confusing!

What I’m looking forward to is years after this is all over, suddenly yelling at someone in a store “Where’s your mask?!”

I blame increased crime in NYC on critics trying to gaslight us that The Last Jedi was good.

I like how in the first Karate Kid Mr. Miyagi says there is no defense against the crane kick and in the second Chozen just grabs Daniel’s foot when he tries it. I guess Miyagi never thought of that.

How good can their cakes be if they have to trick people into eating them by making them look like other things?

People on the left can do a lot more about cancel culture than those on the right, and those standing up against it despite the flack from their own side are heroes.

I can’t believe it took the Washington Redskins this long to react to how offensive their team name was to white people.

Eventually we’re going to need some American heroes to go out there and brave the ‘rona so they can film us more content to fill up all our streaming platforms.

“He’s singing this wrong.” —my son while listening to Weird Al

They should change their name to the Washington No Skins and have a flayed man as their mascot. We all look the same with our skin ripped off. Powerful statement.

Watching the show Space Force, and they had a young blond woman billionaire and I just assumed she was a fraud and she was. I guess that’s a new stereotype.

All your statue-toppling, episode-pulling, and Black capitalizing isn’t going to convince me you think black lives actually matter.

Death Stranding is out on PC. Now there is a game I want to play but will definitely wait for a sale.

I am very very concerned with people’s old tweets.

You may judge a man for his old tweets, but the Lord judges you for the tweets that never left your drafts folder. You are just as condemned for your bad tweets of the heart.

So is the New York Times run by a bunch of woke toddlers now or something?

The Babylon Bee Slack is delightful and we’re all nice to each other. Try to be as mature and functional a news organization as The Babylon Bee.

The whole notion that only white people can be racist seems rather destructive. That’s like properly labeling all the poisons under the sink but only making sure white kids don’t go near it.

The violence and breaking stuff in the protests were very effective if the purpose was to get Americans to buy lots of guns.

To the current generation, won’t Beavis and Butthead look like wise sages who know how not to overreact to things?
And you know Daria has more than a few old tweets people will find worth canceling her over.

Biden isn’t “woke.” He’s barely conscious.

If you were born in Germany early last century, no matter how good a person you think you are, you’d most likely be a Nazi. If you’re one of those “Cancel culture isn’t real!” people, you definitely would be.

In Dave Chappelle’s latest special, I took his “I won’t lie to you” as a sort of rebuke against wokeness which seems to involve a lot of people saying things they think they’re supposed to say but don’t actually believe… sometimes things no one believes.

Can’t the American right and left unite to do something about China?

There is no such thing as “gaslighting.” Right-wingers made that up.

One of the most revealing bits of left-wing racism is how they think they can scare 2nd Amendment advocates with pictures of black people exercising their gun rights, i.e., they think the right will be as scared of minorities with guns as they are.

Everyone I know would be thrilled to have a racially diverse coalition for individual rights. It sometimes feels like the left are trying to sell individual rights as a “whites only” thing.

It would probably help make progress on race if we stopped using phrases like “white people”, “black people”, etc.

I feel like there hasn’t been enough denunciation of the angry mobs tearing down Confederate statues. I mean, the Confederacy was terrible and we should legally remove those statues, but angry mobs aren’t better than the Confederacy.
The whole point of this country is a rebuke to the whole might makes right argument. You have rights even you can’t get an angry mob behind you. Anyone who is part of a mob or encourages a mob has no moral standing to look down on a Confederate.

Despite all its faults, there is something special about this country, and if we forget that, we’re in trouble.

I felt like the guy playing Jefferson stole the show in Hamilton. And the Hamilton/Jefferson policy rap battles were exactly what I signed on for.
I also felt like Hamilton emphasized the problem with today’s “revolutionaries.” All they have are a lot of grievances and small ideas.

It’s a pretty awesome country and I feel lucky I was born here. I hope everyone else who either were born here or moved here feel lucky too. I hope to raise my kids to appreciate what they were given because when we take it for granted, we lose it.

I was all excited for a Kanye candidacy until I realized it can’t be a Kanye-Musk ticket since Musk was born in South Africa.

Remember when we put a flag on the moon for no reason except to prove we’re the greatest country in the history of everything?
Man, we need to recapture that spirit and just keep being awesome.

America used to kill Nazis and Communists and land on the moon. It’s up to us to figure out how to top that.

One thing is for sure: The next time some unarmed man gets killed by the cops, it’s unlikely it will be in front of a statue.

A big lesson from the American experiment is that liberty is always the best way but people get scared of it really easily.

Playing Rise of the Tomb Raider, and that Lara Croft is a horrible archeologist, just wreaking destruction to ancient structures wherever she goes. If her main tool were a sledgehammer, it would be an improvement in her refinement.
People make fun of Indiana Jones, but I would definitely trust him with priceless artifacts over Lara Croft jumping on every rickety ruin she encounters. Apparently women archeologic like they drive.

I guess my verdict on Hamilton is that a day later I already want to watch it again and I also would like to see it live.

My guess is something like 95% of people have no idea why what J.K. Rowling is saying supposedly makes her a bigot.

The problem with the American left as opposition to Trump is that they’re cowards (as witnessed by things such as “I don’t see any cancel culture”). Yes, they’ll stand against injustice, but only when they’ll get wide praise from their peers.
Just look at the aftermath of George Floyd. They’re knocking down statues and making declaration they know will never be followed (“Abolish the police!”), but are they taking on police unions and qualified immunity — things that would mean putting pressure on “their own side”?
Of course, I don’t think the right is quite capable of taking on Trump yet. It seems like most are just waiting to see how it ends and then they’ll come up with a plan. I’m sure they’ll be charging forward and remembering their ideology should Biden be elected.
Eh, I’m just grumpy. This country has so much potential, but even in a pandemic we’re constantly choking on gnats.

Terry Crews just seems like a guy who feels compelled to speak out when he sees something wrong and I really respect that. He even spoke about getting sexually assaulted, which can’t be easy for a guy.

When it comes to the issues conservatives really care about, Trump has the pinpoint accuracy of a pipe bomb.

Showing my kids Back to the Future. That will have to play differently for them since it starts 30 years in the past.
The second one will have to be weird where Marty and Doc travel to the distant future which for us will be five years in the past.
The DeLorean is still going to look futuristic.
It is a bit confusing. I have to keep explaining to them which things look old because it’s from the 80s and which things look old because it’s from the 50s.
Marty orders a Tab and a Pepsi Free which the guy from the 50s never heard and my kids have never heard of.
There’s a lot of “Kids, that was something that was new in the 80s and didn’t exist in the 50s.”
It had to be confusing for my kids when Marty wakes his dad by startling him with classic rock played on a cassette player and then Marty references old sci-fi like Star Wars and Star Trek.
The part with Doc Brown trying to get the cord connected in time for the lightning was almost too intense for my kids. My son’s jaw was on the floor when Marty made the jump back to the future.
Well, I guess we’ll be on to the sequel where see how cars fly and portable fusion generators are readily available in the distant future of 2015.
Anyway, overall a bit confusing for kids today with the specific 50s/80s references, but the core drama still holds up.

My kids are really into the Tangled series on Disney+. I love how the first thing they did for the first episode was undo the end of the movie. I can just imagine some executive saying, “No one cares about a brunette Rapunzel with a pixie cut!”
It sounds like they have the same voice cast from the movie. I don’t know why sometimes they can’t get the big name actors for the series. Seems like easy money to do a little voice work. Plus, you gotta do it for the fans. Be a responsible celebrity.

“BREAKING: An unarmed black man was strangled by the police.”
months of protests, riots, and statue toppling
“BREAKING: An unarmed Black man was strangled by the police.”

Even if it’s called the Taking Government Money Is Always Wrong Organization, it still doesn’t seem that hypocritical to take government money after the government forced you to shut down.

Jeff Bezos’s entire fortune — if it were possible to liquidate it at its current net worth — wouldn’t even get us through a month of government spending, you giant whiny dummies who focus on the wrong thing.

The older the comedy, the greater chance of it being problematic.
An ancient Greek comedy could kill a woke person on contact.

It’s hard to know what’s going on because so many people are very invested in Texas and Florida being a disaster while completely ignoring what’s wrong in other states.

Many on the left don’t want to face cancel culture because much more important to them than fighting racism, sexism, etc., is holding onto the belief they are the good guys and thus everything they do is justified.

So I’m about halfway through writing the first draft of the third Superego novel. I get at most an hour to work on it on weekday mornings. So what do you think are the Vegas odds I get it out before Winds of Winter?

Apparently, billionaires are necessary because they’re the only ones who feel free enough to stick their necks out on certain issues.
Like, think of The Emperor’s New Clothes. It probably wouldn’t be a child pointing out the obvious that the emperor is naked but instead some jerk billionaire.

Remember when The Atlantic fired Kevin D. Williamson because they suddenly got afraid he was going to lynch all the women there?

NORMAL PERSON: “I disagree with what you said.”
CANCEL CULTURE: “Let’s see what your employer thinks about what you said.”
This isn’t complicated.

And I can’t believe all the people saying “Those famous people speaking out are even canceled!”
Yes, that’s why they’re the few who can speak out about it, you contemptible curs.

Because of Coronavirus, theaters can’t currently be full enough that it would be illegal for you to yell “Fire!” in them.

It’s possible the idiots randomly destroying things don’t have any grand political ideals and are just idiots who like destroying things.

“Hi, child Frank, I’ve come to bring you news of 2020!”
“Wow. Do you have a Mars base?”
“Nope.”
“Flying cars?”
“Nope.”
“What do you have?”
“We’ve discovered way more things are racist than your small mind could ever possibly conceive.”
“Oh, so are race relations better?”
“Nope.”

Got a 1-star review for Fathom. Had no idea what he was talking about in the review and I checked and he just gives 1-star reviews to like every book and complains about them having rich people in them.
So you have to pretty insane to not like my novel.

Can wearing a mask actually harm your health? Ninjas do have a lower life expectancy than the general population.

If you don’t like the current national anthem, you can play the unofficial one, the theme to Team America.

How have the South Park guys avoided being canceled? They only do problematic.

“It’s awful to see that man killed by the police.”
“We need to take on police unions and qualified immunity.”
“Exactly. Going to tear down statues.”
“What?”
“And remove episodes of old shows.”
“That’s not…”
“Make sure cartoon characters are voiced by the same race.”

frantically searches for pretext for having episodes of Friends removed

I see some conspiracy theories that old episodes being taken down from Netflix and Hulu is to make the movement look dumb and petty, but when you have ever changing and arbitrary rules with a disproportionate punishment if you ever break them, this is what happens.
I.e., dumb things are happening because you made things dumb.

BLM lost the messaging because there wasn’t enough separation of rioting from protesting. Blame the left who tried to justify stores being burnt down as legitimate protest. Now when people see a protest, they assume violence will follow and that’s the focus and not the message.

I assume more than 95% of the protest is peaceful, but the coverage is like 80% of destruction and no one really knows what’s going on.
Anyway, violence bad. And anyone who said otherwise helped hurt any postive momentum forward.

So with the black face moral panic, we’ve lost one of the best episodes of Community but the Governor of Virginia is still around? Everything seems so arbitrary.

It seems the relevant thing with the couple with guns is whether the protestors were on private property or not, and the fact that no one leads with that seems political.
And hey, if you’re all for abolishing the police, a lot more suburbanites standing around with AR-15s is what you’re going to get, so don’t be hypocritical here.

Stop telling journalists to “learn to code.” I don’t want to have to end up working with any of them.

Slave owning was a horrible sin. It’s hard to see how anyone thought that was okay.
So are we a better people now that we don’t have slavery?
No. We’re the same people still.

Everyone is like that Pharisee who prayed to God saying, “Thank you I’m not like that tax collector.”
The devil is fine with you hating sin — as long as it’s not your own sins.

People like Batman because he speaks to a truth we all have deep in our hearts: Crime can be solved by a billionaire punching poor people.

You’re going to defund the police and cancel Batman? This is like a Joker plot.

The left like to think they learned something from the civil rights era but many act as if they can just hate certain groups of people out of existence.

Can we blame the uptick on COVID-19 cases on all the people who unequivocally cheered on the protests?
I mean, I thought protests were good (looting, burning bad obviously — plus looting is often indoors where it’s higher risk), but it really was so bizarre for people one week to go “You’ll kill grandma!” about going to the zoo suddenly cheer on large crowds gathering.
Anyway, all the people who were cheering on the protests but are now yelling at other people for the increased COVID-19 cases should really just be banned from having an opinion for the rest of the pandemic.
I hate how partisan the stupid pandemic has become, but that’s what it is for all the loudest yelling voices.

I put on a mask and literally within seconds I was dead. But I took hydroxychloroquine and am better now.

A bunch of weird, hateful little trolls think they’re so right about politics they can decide which contrary views shouldn’t be allowed to be expressed, and it’s hard to believe they don’t see how insane that is.
I mean, you want to say to these people: “Just look at yourself. The idea that you’re right about even 50% of things is pushing it. You think the fact that you’re miserable and angry all the time is a good indication there’s a lot you don’t have figured out very well.”
We’re all wrong about things we’ve very sure we’re right about. That’s the point of the liberal tradition. It’s very bad if any of us go unchallenged. And it’s also bad to hold views — even if they’re right — that we can’t coherently defend.

The accumulated filth of all their politics and activism will foam up about their waists and all the boomers, millennials, and zoomers will look up and shout “Save us!”… and the Gen Xers will look down and whisper “Whatever.”

The only way to be 100% sure your food mascots aren’t racist is to make them all white.

I guess it’s because the nature of a mascot is a little bit demeaning.
But no one cares if you demean like an Irishman or something.

I will not buy Dixie Chicks music while they still perform under that name. Or any other.

“Abolishing the police is a serious thing that could actually happen. To prove it, here is my almost workable plan to replace police for one of the five hundred things we rely on them for.”

I’ve learned some interesting stuff teaching the Bible to my kids: Some of those stories, even though they’re like a thousand years old, are relevant to what we’re dealing with today!

I think the left is always going on about the “right side of history,” because when don’t believe in God or anything, that’s their best conception of some sort of outside judgment righting wrongs.
I wonder what would happen if they found some time transported history book that labeled them as a bunch of angry weirdos? I’m guessing they’d have some unshakeable faith that even further future historians would put those historians on the wrong side of history.

It’s starting to feel very Soviet. No one’s opinions are being changed, they’re just getting scared to express them and always hoping there’s some bigger target the mob will go after rather than them.

What’s offensive is having to spend hours searching for something to be offended by so you have an excuse to attack.

I’d trade Labor Day to make Juneteenth a federal holiday. I still have no idea what I’m supposed to be celebrating on Labor Day.

People say they’re “anti-hate,” but they seem to mainly want to redirect the hate and call it a virtue.

To all the losers and the haters, I wish you eternal joy beyond what the human mind could ever comprehend.

If I were forced to choose, I’d rather just whip myself publicly than read a book titled “White Fragility.”

“That’s for your white privilege.”
whips self
“That’s for… um… bad things other white people did that you benefit from.”
whips self
“And that’s for structural… um… systematic… you know, the bad stuff.”
whips self
“Okay. Lesson learned. Back to watching Netflix.”

Every modern movie should come with the warning: “This movie reflects the values of a broken society and will eventually look abhorrent in the face of eternity.”

I don’t know the correct way to talk about race, but I’m pretty sure you’re all doing it wrong.

“Let he who is without bad tweets cast the first stone.”

My baby son grabbed a pair of my boxers from the folded laundry and started playing peekaboo with them, and for a moment it felt like the sum total of the universe was in that unbridled joy.

I’ll consider a path to citizenship, but my one demand is you stop calling them “Dreamers.” That just makes me want to slap them and you.

Seeing Confederate and other statues torn down tends to give a lot of people a feeling of dread not because the Confederates aren’t terrible but because the people doing the tearing down are terrible and are only getting more encouraged.

Juneteenth is a holiday I had never heard of until a year or two ago, but it does seem like a more important thing to celebrate than a lot of our other holidays.

The New York Times is named after “time” which gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal, slays king, ruins town, and beats high mountain down. I think it’s “time” to get rid of this horrible tribute.

You’re all such terrible people. Before you tear statues down, tear yourselves down first.

Whenever I put on a mask before going into a store, I pretend I’m Arthur Morgan about to rob a stagecoach.

The Last of Us Part II was very brutal to play through — almost agonizing — but it really reinforced the important message that it’s wrong to stomp puppies to death in front of orphans.

No one is trying to persuade people anymore. They only hope they can get their mob bigger and angrier than the other mob.

Jelly Belly jellybeans are like the opposite of insects as bright colors on insects warn you away while dull colors on jellybeans warn you it’s disgusting.

I keep teaching my kids not to whine. It’s like I’m trying to handicap them for modern society.

I’m all for making Juneteenth a big official holiday, but we need to come up with some standards ways to celebrate it. Right now the main thing seems to be white people lecturing other white people, and I think there has to be something better than that.

I don’t care if I wear a mask, but I want everyone else to wear one.

“How dare you do this on Juneteenth, this most revered holiday that I just found out about three days ago.” —white people

White guilt just seems like an odd form of white supremacy where some white people try to take racism and make it all about themselves and their feelings.

I think a big misconception of today’s mob youths is thinking they’re morally better than racists.

It’s not hard to understand why a lot of people thought slavery was okay when there are still people who think Communism is a good idea. People will grab on to a few aspects of a terrible idea and excuse all others.

We have a lot of people tearing things down but very few making a positive argument for something to build.

I guess we’re lucky already 100% of people are against slavery because otherwise I’d be worried that Nikole Hannah-Jones’s arguments are so dumb they could be hurting the anti-slavery cause.

I can see people grudgingly voting for either Trump or Biden, but getting excited for either seems a bit crazy.

Not having a father is an unfortunately common disability.

On Father’s Day, my 4yo said “Happy Valentine’s Day!” and gave me a drawing of hearts. I guess it’s the thought that counts.

It has to be a relief to get canceled these days. No more worrying; you’re finally free!

So Chris Pratt and I nearly the same age. He’s probably more famous, though.

Spent Father’s Day letting the kids swim in my mom’s pool. Keeping track of four young kids in a pool isn’t exactly relaxing, but such is the burden of fathers.

Remember when the Taliban were blowing up statues? Those guys were like ahead of their time.

If your response to CHAZ was anything to the left of “What a bunch of dummies; this is going to go poorly,” you contributed to the inevitable violence.

If you encourage angry mobs, you have no moral standing to criticize racists. You know what you’re for will lead to very bad things, and you choose not to care.

I only remember one episode of 30 Rock with blackface, where Tracy was done up like a white woman and Jenna as a black man so they could see who had it harder and the joke was they both looked absolutely bizarre (and Jenna offensive).
It was funny, with part of the joke being Jenna was too obtuse to understand how offensive she was. Should I have not found it funny?
I don’t really understand the rules anymore. It feels like Calvinball.

I’m a little confused; exactly what sort of statues need to be knocked down so cops don’t kneel on someone’s neck for nine minutes?

Hate crimes that perfectly fit the narrative are apparently extremely rare, and that’s a good thing.

When I first heard about the NASCAR noose thing, my reaction was “Who in the world would do such an awful thing?” Luckily, once again the answer was “No one.”
You feel like a jerk doubting these stories because what if it really happened this time — there are psychopaths out there. Still, the smart thing is to assume they’re not true until there is a lot of corroborating evidence.
Really important to note that this isn’t another Jussie Smollet. Bubba was just told about the “noose” and didn’t see it himself, and perhaps the whole thing was just an honest mistake and not a hoax.

Been trying to get my kids to watch Clone Wars and Rebels as I didn’t realize that was all canon and all the stuff from it is going to keep coming up in Star Wars TV shows and video games.

In Jedi Fallen Order SPOILERS Darth Vader makes an appearance, and I was curious if there’s like a Vader guy they use to voice him when James Earl Jones would be too busy/expensive. Ends up, one guy has been voicing Vader in video games all the way back to Tie Fighter in 1994.
And man, video game credits for AAA games are like 20 minutes long and completely uninteresting to me until they get to listing the open-source libraries they used at the very end.
I saw a clip from the cartoon Rebels where there is a fight with Vader, but I didn’t think the Vader sounded very good in it and I was wondering why they didn’t the video game Vader guy as he does a really good Vader voice. I looked it up, and Rebels used James Earl Jones.

If the Democrats really don’t like racism and white privilege, they could finally get rid of that blackface governor of Virginia.
If.

I get saying Gone with the Wind is bad, but are we really claiming all the new stuff out today isn’t worse?

Racists are bad, but thinking you’re better people than racists is also poison.
We’re all fallen. That’s why forgiveness is important.

I always found the lyrics to Rage Against the Machine songs kind of adorable in their own way.

If you die of Coronavirus after a protest, that just proves you weren’t woke enough.

It feels like the trans issue is a mirror of the evolution issue in which one side sees it as basic science but to the other it’s a religious issue.

Sorry, but I’ll never apologize.

“You say biological sex determines if you’re male or female? What if you drink a polyjuice potion?”

Don’t just put warnings in front of old movies; put them in front of new movies too. Most of their values are garbage.

I want to work toward a world where everyone feels free to state their opinions — even unpopular ones — without first having the job security of being like a billionaire.

“What a horrible, stupid opinion you have… but I’m not going to try to destroy you!”
“Wow! Thanks!”

We shouldn’t name things after or make statues of anyone who could have done something wrong or we may eventually decide was bad. Thus we should only have statues of and name things after Jesus.

Who would win in a fight between McGruff the Crime Dog and Smokey the Bear?

So is the contention that “woman” is like the word “scientist” in that some people put great significance on the label but there is no strict definition such that you can definitively say “This person is not a [x]”?

From the negative reaction to JK Rowling, it seems like a lot of people assume that it’s supposed to be obvious why what she said is bad and wrong, but it doesn’t really feel like anyone understands all this beyond what’s the “correct” position to hold.

Bowing to changing times, the band “The Racists” is changing their name to “The Not Racists.”

So which party do you want? The one that just lets armed mangy hippies take over parts of cities or the one that makes conspiracy theories about 75yos who get their skulls cracked?

Will I have to have played PlayStations 1-4?

I didn’t watch the celebrity video. Were they for or against racism?

Punch up. Punch down. Punch what needs a punching. The important thing is to never let bad ideas go unchallenged.

We don’t need democracy, we just need to trust angry mobs. Who can ever get the biggest mob and makes them the angriest should make the rules.

So how do you define a political grifter?
I see them as people who obviously don’t really believe in anything other than stirring things up and getting attention (and money).
I thought it was an interesting observation I had while on Jon Gabriel’s podcast that, while usually we’re blind to the problems on our own side, I find it much easier to spot grifter’s on the right than on the left.
I guess that’s part of the problem: The other side can’t tell people who earnestly believe differently than them and are arguing in good faith from people who are just in it for the fight.

My kids were watching a Little House on the Prarie and I said, “That character looks like Johnny Cash. That character sounds like Johnny Cash.” It was Johnny Cash! So I decided it was time to subject them to Cash as my father had to me.
It’s funny, I know Johnny Cash as who my dad played when I was a kid, but a lot of my favorite songs of his were ones from his last few albums which came out when I was an adult.
Well, early twenties, if that counts as an adult these days.

I’m okay saying Churchill is a horrible racist if we all agree the antifa types are worse people than this particular horrible racist.
They all think all they have to do is have the “right” views and that makes them good people, but it’s not true.
Plus, like most people, a lot of things they believe are actually dumb and bad.

I feel like people didn’t learn the right lessons from Orc Cop in that they saw the struggle Orc Cop went through to be accepted as a cop and now they want to cancel him for being a cop.

Soccer always seems like this trick other countries plays on the U.S. and they laugh anytime they successfully fool us into watching it.
They pushed it too far that time they had vuvuzelas.
“Oh yeah, we love watching no one score for hours backed by the most annoying sound in the world.”
barely holding in laughter
“We legitimately enjoy this. You Americans should try watching it too.”

“Fixing the problem of police abuse…”
“WE DON’T NEED POLICE! ABOLISH POLICE!”
“…will take a lot of political will as it…”
“IF SOMEONE IS BREAKING INTO YOUR HOME, YOU’LL GET A SOCIAL WORKER!”
“…requires a number of major changes that…”
“I MADE AN AUTONOMOUS ZONE!”

The people who look at all this and keep saying, “The solution is to just get more people to vote!” are like people who keep running into a wall over and over and expect something better to happen.

Princess Bride is on Disney+? It kind of makes me shudder that yet another beloved thing of mine is owned by one company. If Disney ever wanted to, they could basically hold my entire childhood hostage.

What I hate about the modern programming languages is that when I have a big glob of bytes I just want to do random things with, they get all cumbersome.

“Well, what are these bytes? Are they representing integers?”
“I dunno. Maybe. I guess it’s whatever I cast it as.”
“You can’t do that! It’s unsafe!”
“I like to live dangerously. Hey, can I have kernel-level memory access?”
“Absolutely not!”
“Yeah… you’re probably right on that one.”

“So what’s your variable for how many members are in your array again? Is it size? Nope. Length? Nope. Or is it… what’s the third one some people use? Oh yeah. Count. Yep, that’s it. You’re count. How fancy.”

Sorry, I’m working in Swift which is a lovely language when you’re making UIs but is really annoying when you’re doing real programming… the sort of thing where I don’t have time for it to pretend not to know what a memory address is.
Like look at this:
withUnsafeMutableBytes(of: &number, {data?.copyBytes(to: $0, from: 8..<16)})
What is that? Just give me a pointer and a memcpy, man.

What’s great about the left is how much they care about marginalized groups.
What’s bad about the left is how they’re a bunch of sociopaths who don’t actually care about anything other than their own egos.

I’ve heard a number of people rave about Patriot on Amazon (despite it only lasting two seasons) and am finally checking it out. And man, it is something.
Poor Stephen.

Most of you angry people on the left have way worse opinions than OAN viewers, but I ain’t for cancelling you.
I’m absolutely tired of terrible people deciding who’s too terrible to be a part of civilization. You better hope people don’t get what they deserve, or I will feel sorry for you.

Do you want to scream at people or affect positive change? Because you only get to pick one.
You can either get to feel righteous and try to inflict harm on who you imagine your enemies are, or influence people and create positive change. You can pick your ego and your sense of vengeance or you can do good. But you can’t have it all.
People don’t scream and get all hateful because they care so much about an issue. They do it because they care too little to take the hard to swallow pill of humility.

I hate when as soon as I declare a variable, the IDE immediately highlights it with a warning saying “This variable is unused.” I’m in the middle of writing the code! Keep your pants on!

Can you imagine if you had an over the counter medication that told you to take three pills? You’d freak out!

NBC to Google: “This site wrote something about us and I want to speak to your manager.”

Ain’t nobody done nothing bad enough to deserve getting lectured at this much.

I do say, I sometimes reminisce now for the Obama presidency when the major dumb things were like trying to pass off “Community Organizer” as some sort of actual job.

“Sure, Obama was only Senator for like two weeks, but he’s plenty experienced for president because he was a community organizer.”
“Really? How organized was this community?”
“Everyone was alphabetized and color-coded. It was great.”

It really seems like opposing Trump should be a trivially easy thing to do. I don’t know why so many people have felt the need to abandon all their principles to do it.

I think the day my childhood officially ended was when I had to throw out all my Play-Doh and instead buy Work-Doh.