This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we’re taking a trip to the state that habitually refers to Canada as “our neighbor to the west” – New York. So let’s get started…

• New York became the 11th state on July 26th, 1788 and was originally called New Amsterdam. Before the final name change, it was variously known as Not New Jersey, Whaddyalookinat, and Hookerland.
• New York City’s most famous landmark, the Statue of Liberty, is constructed out of copper and eventually turned green due to pollution from coal burning factories. If you scraped off the corrosion, you’d find that the statue was actually pink, completely naked, and originally titled “The Statue of Yowza!”
• Vassar College, in Poughkeepsie, New York, was originally founded as a women’s college in 1861. Its motto is “Where women go to feel smart between evenings of drunken table dancing.”
• The 1969, the Woodstock Music Festival was held on Max Yasgur’s farm in Bethel, New York. It reportedly took Mr. Yasgur over 2 years to get that hippie smell out of his manure pit.
• Dairy farming is New York’s #1 agricultural activity. The state’s 18,000 dairy farms have a milk-producing capacity nearly that of Dolly Parton.
• In 1807, the world’s first steamboat, the Clermont, made its maiden voyage between New York City and Albany. It was during this trip that the phrase “are we there, yet?” was first coined.
• The state tree of New York is the billboard
• In 1899, the Kosher wine industry was started by Sam Shapiro in New York City. Before that, Jews drank nothing but the fermented blood of Palestinian babies. Or so I’ve heard.
• New York City has 722 miles of subway track. Most of it heavily stained with wino vomit.
• “Wizard of Oz” author L. Frank Baum was born in Chittenago, New York. His famous tale was loosely based on the lives of Al and Tipper Gore, as most great American stories are.
• The New York Post – founded in 1803 by Alexander Hamilton – is America’s oldest continually-published newspaper. Its first headline was “Jefferson Has No Exit Strategy For Barbary Coast Pirate Quagmire.”
• John Babcock of New York City invented the stationary rowing machine in 1869 as a less-smelly alternative to the then-popular exercise fad of riding a dead horse.
• The first railroad in America ran the 11 miles between Albany and Schenectady, NY. The slow, primitive train ride carried few passengers, since riding a dead horse between the towns was nearly as fast.
• New York City was the first capital of the United States. George Washington took his oath of office there in 1789, beginning the city’s long and cherished tradition of gullibly trusting lying politicians.
• Every November, New York City’s Empire State Building plays host to the Boy Scouts’ annual Urban Camp-out, allowing scouts to earn the elusive Drunk Rolling and Crack Procurement merit badges.
• During the war of 1812, meatpacker Sam Wilson of Troy, New York, stamped “U.S. Beef” on the products he sent to the troops. This was popularly interpreted as – and began the legend of – Uncle Sam, although the letters actually stood for “urine soaked.”
• Don’t make that face at me. Urine contains a plethora of natural preservatives.
• Actor Humphrey Bogart was born in New York City in 1899. Little known fact – in the movie “Casablanca,” he never said “Play it again, Sam.” What he actually said was “AOL sends spam,” one of the most prescient lines in cinematic history.
• Jell-O was invented in Rochester, New York in 1897. Mostly as a way to help dispose of the mountains of dead horses that people didn’t ride any more.
• Marshmallows were also invented in Rochester. They stopped being manufactured there in 1984 after the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man destroyed the city.
• For obvious reasons, bumper-to-bumper warranties for cars sold in New York City do NOT cover the horn.
• Gennaro Lombardi opened America’s first pizzeria in New York City in 1895. Slices of the original pie are still being sold there today, or at least that’s what it tastes like.
• Locals don’t complain about it, though, since New Yorkers wouldn’t know good pizza if it jumped up and stuffed their noses full of pepperoni.
• On July 28th, 1945, a B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building. The pilot wasn’t Muslim, just really stupid, which isn’t technically the same thing.
• Joseph C. Gayetty of New York City introduced toilet paper to the world in 1857, causing sales of The New York Times to plummet.
• Camera inventor George Eastman was born in Waterville, NY in 1854. His device was second only to the creation of the internet in revolutionizing the pornography industry.
• New York was the first state to require license plates on automobiles, which featured the motto, “Get out of my way, jackass!”
• Famed for his numerous, heartwarming Saturday Evening Post covers, painter Norman Rockwell was born in New York City. The secret to his technique was looking out the window of his Hell’s Kitchen apartment and then painting the exact opposite of what he saw.
• New York City is world-famous for its cultural diversity. While walking even a single block, a tourist can expect to be cursed at in over 40 different languages.
• Contrary to the popular myth, local Indians did NOT sell the island of Manhattan for $24 worth of beads and trinkets. It was actually lost during an inexplicable run of bad luck at a Coney Island sidewalk game of 3-Card-Monte.

That wraps up the New York edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be stuck to the floor by the tar on our heels as we visit North Carolina.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go earn some merit badges.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we’ll be scammed into buying a “genuine” George Washington cherry-tree-choppin’ ax as we visit Virginia. So let’s get started…

• The state motto of Virginia is “Sic Semper Tyrannis,” which is Latin for “No, seriously, the Waltons were fictional. Stop asking about them.”
• George Washington was born in Westmoreland County, Virginia in 1732. He’s famous for being the first President, the father of his country, and the first white man to rap under the name Vanilla Ice.
• Thomas Jefferson was born in Shadwell, Virginia in 1743. His first draft of the Declaration of Independence was blunt but concise: “King George – You suck. We’re outta here. – The Colonies.”
• Considering they used the letter “f” instead of “s” back in those days, it’s probably better that he went with the longer version.
• 28th President Woodrow Wilson was born in Staunton, Virginia in 1856. Despite the fact that his administration brought income taxes, WWI, Prohibition, and the horrors of women’s suffrage, history still remembers him kindly. Probably because he never violated the Constitutional separation of intern and cigar.
• Being the largest of the colonies, Virginia was named in honor of England’s “Virgin Queen,” Elizabeth I. The tiny state to the north was named for her slutty cousin, Mary.
• The state song of Virginia is “Carry Me Back to Old Virginia,” which was chosen by one vote over “Like A Virgin.”
• Virginia’s early settlers got the idea to plant tobacco after they were first welcomed ashore by Indians holding up signs saying “You’ve come a long way, baby!”
• The colony of Jamestown, Virginia, was founded for the purpose of producing silk, which was shipped to England to help King James indulge his not-as-secret-as-he-thought fetish for women’s underwear.
• The first peanuts grown in the US were grown in Virginia. Trust me, you DON’T want to know what King James did with THOSE.
• Three of the first four US presidents were born in Virginia. They were the original Patriots’ Dynasty.
• The state capital of Virginia – Richmond – was also the capital of the Confederacy. Most of the people in Virginia wish it still were.
• The Dogwood is Virginia’s state tree, state flower, and state euphemism for a canine erection.
• The American Revolution ended with the surrender of Cornwallis in Yorktown, Virginia. The terms of the surrender included having Cornwallis stand in the town square naked and shout “I stink! I am a senile, bucktoothed old mummy, with bony girl arms and I smell like an elephant’s butt!”
• Some historians cite this as the root cause of the war of 1812.
• Two iron-clad ships, the Monitor and the Virginia (called “Merrimack” by dirty stinkin’ Yankees), fought for 12 hours at Hampton Roads, Virginia on March 9th, 1862. The battle was inconclusive, but proved one thing: getting a cannonball through metal armor was like trying to get a tax cut through a Democratic congress.
• 2000 of the Civil War’s battles were fought in Virginia…. 3000, if you count the times Robert E. Lee’s wife whacked him with a rolling pin.
• In Virginia, more people work for the US government than any other industry.
• Um… well… leastwise they have more people listed on their payroll.
• The world’s largest shipyard is in Newport News, Virginia. Their dry-dock facility alone is large enough to hold 3 aircraft carriers, or a week’s supply of donuts for Michael Moore.
• The Pentagon building in Arlington, Virginia is the largest office building in the world. It has over 5000 fax machines, all which are destined to someday be taken out into a field and smashed with a baseball bat as angry hip-hop music plays in the background.
• Contrary to the popular story, the first Thanksgiving was actually held in Virginia’s Berkley Plantation colony in 1619. 90 Indian braves were invited to the feast as thanks for their help during the previous year’s harsh winter. Those 90 later burned the village to the ground as revenge for being made to sit at the kiddie table.
• The Great Dismal Swamp is a wasteland of foul muck located near Virginia’s border with North Carolina, and is NOT a nickname for Washington, D.C.
• Don’t feel bad. A LOT of people make that mistake.
• Thomas Jefferson designed the home where he spent his final years – Monticello – which can be seen on the back of the nickel. If you look closely, you can see Jefferson yelling at some kids to get off his lawn.
• George Washington’s home – Mount Vernon – is NOT shown on the back of the quarter since all the pink flamingos on his lawn were deemed “too un-presidential.”
• The world’s only oyster museum is located on Chincoteague Island, Virginia. It celebrates history’s greatest oysters, including playwright Oyster Wilde and Supreme Court Justice Oyster Wendell Holmes.
• On April 9, 1865, at the Appomattox Court House, Virginia, the Civil War ended when General Robert E. Lee was forced to surrender to General Ulysses S. Grant after Lee foolishly chose rock to Grant’s paper.
• St. John’s church in Richmond, Virginia, was where Patrick Henry famously said “Give me liberty, or give me death!” Some historians consider this story a mere legend, however, and insist that what he actually said was “Give me freedom, or give me severe nasal congestion with a headache and slight fever!”
• The Atlantic headquarters of NATO is located in Norfolk, Virginia. For those who don’t know, NATO is sorta like the UN, except with weapons and testicles.

That wraps up the Virginia edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be paying 35 dollars for one stinking martini at the top of the Space Needle as we visit Washington.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go… Hey! Look!… Dogwood!.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to buy a pile of sales-tax-free – though horribly overpriced – Revolutionary-War-related souvenirs as we tour New Hampshire. So let’s get started…

• New Hampshire became the 9th state on June 21st, 1788. It was originally founded by refugees from Massachusetts seeking to ensure that their descendants would never know the sick, shameful feeling of voting for Ted Kennedy.
• New Hampshire’s state tourism slogan is “Don’t feel bad. We can’t find us on a map, either.”
• While it was still just a colony, New Hampshire declared its independence from England 6 months before the the Declaration of Independence was signed – an embarrassing case of “premature emancipation.”
• Portsmouth, New Hampshire was the site of the signing of the treaty which officially ended the Russo-Japanese War in 1905, in which the Russians officially apologized for referring to the Japanese as “sake-swilling sushi-munchers.”
• New Hampshire’s state motto is “We were really cool 230 years ago.”
• The first potato field in the U.S. was planted in 1719, just outside of Londonderry, New Hampshire. The experiment failed miserably, and no one planted the crop again for 50 years, when the Irishman-repelling scarecrow was finally developed.
• Born in East Derry, New Hampshire, Alan B. Shepard Jr. was the first American to travel into space. After his historic feat, he spent 30 years in obscurity before finally turning up in an “Astronauts Gone Wild” video, performing lewd acts with moon rocks.
• In 1833, the first free public library in the U.S. was established in Peterborough, New Hampshire. The first book checked out was Nathaniel Limbaugh’s “See, I Toldest Thou So.”
• New Hampshire instituted the first state lottery in 1963, which has been won every week since that time by Shirley Jackson.
• The Cornish Hill Pottery Company of Wolfeboro, New Hampshire still makes their stoneware crafts in the traditional British fashion – glazed with the blood of the Irish.
• In 1828, the first women’s strike in the U.S. took place when 400 mill girls walked out of the Dover Cotton Factory. They vowed not to return to work unless the sexual harassment they were subjected to started including obnoxious foreplay.
• The first alarm clock was invented in Concord, New Hampshire in 1787, and consisted of two tin cans, a piece of string, and a rooster.
• Legendary orator Daniel Webster was born in Franklin, New Hampshire in 1782. It’s said that his speeches were so persuasive that – were he alive today – he could talk Barack Obama into drilling for oil.
• The first American coin was created by sculptor Augustus Saint-Gaudens of Cornish, New Hampshire. It had Washington’s portrait on the front, and “America – F*** YEAH!” on the back.
• President Franklin Pierce was born in Concord, New Hampshire. His only accomplishment in office was coining the phrase, “Can you smell what the Pierce is cookin’?”
• The town of Merrimack, New Hampshire is home to the famous Clydesdales owned by the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. They require over 300 gallons of water per day to help them provide the secret ingredient that gives Budweiser its distinctive flavor.
• The Budweiser frogs were also kept in Merrimack until they were dissected by the 8th grade Biology class.
• New Hampshire’s delegates were the first to vote for the Declaration of Independence on July 4th 1776, although due to a balloting error, several of them accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan.
• New Hampshire has 10 counties, 13 municipalities, 221 towns, 22 unincorporated places, and one ring to rule them all.
• Sarah Josepha Hale was born in 1830 in Newport New Hampshire, and was the author of the famous poem, “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” She also penned the less-well-known follow-up poem, “Mary Had a Little Mint Jelly on the Side.”
• The state bird of New Hampshire is the Purple Finch, which – unlike some Finches – has no qualms about killing mockingbirds.
• New Hampshire’s state constitution was ratified in 1784, and is the second oldest one in the country. It’s also the only one that specifically forbids fat chicks at nude beaches.
• The Mount Washington Auto Road at Great Glenn, New Hampshire is the state’s oldest man-made tourist attraction and annually draws more tourists than anything else in the state. Probably because it ends at a nude beach.
• New Hampshire’s legislature still meets in the original capitol building constructed in 1784. They expect to have the facilities upgraded about the same time that Microsoft upgrades Windows Solitaire.
• Alexandria, New Hampshire, was the birthplace of Luther C. Ladd, the first man to lose his life in the Civil War, after uttering his famous last words “This pistol ain’t loaded. Watch…”
• The first motorized ascent of the Mount Washington Auto Road was by Freelan O. Stanley – inventor of the Stanley Steamer and nude beach aficionado.
• Stonyfield Farm in Londonderry, New Hampshire, features a tour demonstrating how yogurt is made. It also includes a free shower at the end so you can wash off that hippie smell.
• The granite profile “Old Man of the Mountain” – which collapsed in 2003 – was one of New Hampshire’s most famous landmarks and appears on the New Hampshire state quarter. It was last visited by Luther C. Ladd IV, whose last words were “You’re crazy! Nothing will happen if I throw a rock at that thing. Watch…”

That wraps up the New Hampshire edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be beaten up by burly Italian men in 3-piece suits as we scream promises to get them their money by this afternoon in New Jersey.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a drive down the Mount Washington Auto Road.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we’ll be voting for the late Strom Thurmond strictly out of habit as we visit South Carolina. So let’s get started…

• South Carolina became the 8th state on May 23, 1788. The residents didn’t particularly WANT to share a name with North Carolina, but they had little choice after the naming-rights deal with Coca-Cola fell through.
• At 3,560 feet tall, the highest point in South Carolina is Sassafras Mountain. No sassafras actually grows on it, it’s just a fun word to say. Especially with a big, spitty, Daffy Duck lisp: “THATHAFRATH!”
• The state motto of South Carolina is “Aminis Opibusque Parati,” which means “any excuse to shoot a Yankee.”
• The state tree of South Carolina is the Palmetto. Which should not be confused with any old men who carve wooden boys that magically come to life.
• Built in 1909, Campbell’s Covered Bridge near Gowensville is the last bridge in South Carolina still covered by a protective wooden structure instead of just a layer of cigarette butts and beer cans.
• The spotted salamander was selected as South Carolina’s official state amphibian in 1976, an unpopular decision which touched off deadly riots in the state’s frustrated and angry frog communities.
• In 1776, the British attacked the US fort on South Carolina’s Sullivan Island. However, because the walls were made with spongy Palmetto logs, the cannonballs couldn’t break through, and just bounced like Air America payroll checks.
• The official state dance of South Carolina is the Shag. As is the official state double-wide trailer carpeting.
• The first battle of the Civil War took place at Fort Sumter. Historians theorize that it started as an innocent Mac vs. PC argument which spun tragically out of control.
• Hartsville, South Carolina’s Coker Experimental Farms started in 1903 with 30 cotton plants and a goal to breed hardier specimens. Thanks to a lack of genetic variation among the seedlings, the highly inbred offshoots became the Retarded Monster Cotton Plant now used for stuffing Tickle Me Elmo dolls.
• Before being known as “The Palmetto State,” South Carolina used to be known as the Iodine state. For those who don’t know, Iodine is brown and hurts like hell when applied to open wounds. Sorta like a Jesse Jackson press conference.
• The Thoroughbred Racing Hall of Fame in Aiken, South Carolina celebrates the many champion race horses trained in Aiken. The secret of their success can be found in their training motto, “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you’ll be shipped to the glue factory if you screw up!”
• South Carolina’s Black River gets its dark coloring from high concentrations of organic carbon. Sorta like hippie bathwater. If hippies took baths.
• Batesburg-Leesville, South Carolina, is home to the annual South Carolina Poultry festival and features such events as “Turkey-mounted Jousting” and the ever-popular “Stuffing Chickens Down Your Pants Contest.”
• A Catawba Indian named King Haiglar was invaluable in helping the early settlers of Camden, South Carolina. Today, he remains honored in the form of a life-sized weather vane. This may not sound like much of an honor, but at least they didn’t put him on a dollar coin that no one uses like that loser, Saca-what’s-her-name.
• Tyler Brothers Work Shoe and Boot Co. in Wagener, South Carolina produces 8 major brands of OSHA-approved footwear, including Redwing and Wolverine. They attribute their success to changing their name from “3-Toes BootWorks.”
• Gaffney, South Carolina features a water tower in the shape of a giant peach. In case it ever falls over, they plan to put it in their City Hall building, which was built in the shape of a giant crust-lined pie tin.
• The first boll weevil found in South Carolina is on display at the Pendleton District Agricultural Museum. It sits between the first mosquito to bite Strom Thurmond and a few dead flies picked off the window sill.
• Yeah, well, whaddya expect from an Ag Museum? Da Vinci paintings?
• Spartanburg, South Carolina’s Duncan Park is the oldest minor league baseball stadium in the world. During its 80th Anniversary season in 2006, it finally managed to break through the long-elusive double-digit attendance mark.
• Described as “a cross between a snake and something prehistoric,” the mysterious monster that is said to inhabit South Carolina’s Lake Murray was eventually caught and discovered to be a skinny-dipping Ted Kennedy.
• Mullins, South Carolina, features the state’s largest tobacco market. To compensate for financial losses due to anti-tobacco hysteria, the city has branched out into the lead paint, asbestos, and DDT markets as well.
• Residents of Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, are all well versed in the 300-year-old art of Sweetgrass basket-making. Sure, this doesn’t sound like it’d look good on a resume, but it’ll get you picked over someone with a degree in Women’s Studies EVERY time.
• Every year, flocks of Purple Martins fly back to their home on Bomb Island, South Carolina. The sight of millions of creatures mindlessly chirping and crapping all over the place is truly stunning. It’s sorta like an Occupy Wall Street protest, except without the stultifying air of smug self-righteousness.
• The Riverbanks Zoological Park in Columbia, South Carolina is home to over 2,000 animals, none of which are in cages. They’re kept in place with guilt trips from a crack staff of professional Jewish mothers.
• Legend has it that anyone who drinks from Catfish Creek near Marion, South Carolina will fall in love with the area and never leave. Which is polite way of saying they’re doomed to die of amoebic dysentery.
• In 1852, William Dorn discovered the largest gold mine in South Carolina’s history near the city of McCormick. He foolishly sold the mine in 1860, and used the proceeds to launch his ill-fated chain of “Slaves ‘R’ Us” stores.
• South Carolina was the first state to secede from the Union, on December 20th, 1860, thus fulfilling Governor Jebediah Baldwin’s promise to leave the country if a Republican was elected.
• The 7th President of the US, Andrew Jackson, was born in Lancaster County, South Carolina. He earned his nickname “Old Hickory” when he used a hickory switch to beat the crap out of Alexander Hamilton to win the right to appear on the $20 bill.
• The Reverend Jesse Jackson was born in Greenville, South Carolina in 1941. He’s famed for his ability to use racial guilt to shake down “too white” corporations, and is generally considered the John Gotti of the Affirmative Action Mafia’s protection money racket.
• Oops… meant to type “famous civil rights leader”… sorry ’bout that.

That wraps up the South Carolina edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be trampled by herds of stampeding prairie dogs as we visit South Dakota.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go practice my jousting.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to take a wrong turn at the Washington Monument and accidentally wind up in Maryland, so let’s get started…

• Maryland became the 7th state on April 28th, 1788 after it finally agreed to stop trying to invade Delaware to steal its oil.
• The state bird of Maryland is the Oriole, which should NOT be confused with any similarly-named, chocolate-flavored, creme-filled sandwich cookies.
• The state flower of Maryland is the Black-Eyed Susan, or – as it’s referred to by feminists – the “Justifiable Homicide Plant.”
• The highest point in Maryland is Backbone Mountain. It’s 3,360 feet tall, and has never been climbed by a Frenchman.
• The state motto of Maryland is, “Yup, pretty much just a suburb of D.C.”
• Maryland’s nickname of “The Old Line State” is somewhat of a misnomer, since most of its residents prefer to freebase their cocaine.
• Maryland was named after Henrietta Maria, wife of King Charles I of England. They WERE going to call is “Henriettaland,” but decided that sounded too much like some kind of pussycat-puppet-related theme park.
• The lowest point in Maryland is Bloody Point Hole, at 174 feet below sea level. It used to be deeper, but Karl Rove’s been using it a lot lately to dispose of “stifled dissenters,” if you know what I mean.
• Presidential assassin John Wilkes Booth was born in Bel Air, Maryland in 1838. Because of his high-profile crime, all US theaters now have “Marylander detectors” at each entrance as a security precaution.
• Famous abolitionist Frederick Douglass was born in Tuckahoe, Maryland, which – and I can’t emphasize this enough – starts with the letter “T,” so really watch that left index finger while you’re typing.
• Another famous abolitionist – Harriet Tubman – was born in Dorchester County, Maryland and freed over 300 slaves during 20 trips between Maryland and Pennsylvania. Today, many black people honor her heroic journeys by running up and down a wooden court for an hour, symbolically helping basketballs escape slavery by throwing them through “freedom hoops.”
• Gaithersburg, Maryland is home to the National Institute of Standards and Technology. It employs over 3,000 pimply-faced geek-boys, none of whom have yet kissed a real girl.
• National Anthem author Francis Scott Key was born in Frederick, Maryland, where he spent his formative years blowing stuff up and writing poetry about the explosions.
• Baseball Hall-of-Famer Babe Ruth grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, and developed his legendary slugging prowess by working as a knee-cap breaker for local loan sharks.
• The United States Naval Academy was founded on October 10, 1845 at Annapolis, Maryland. Coincidentally, the United States Hooker Academy was founded across the street the next day.
• The first cathedral in the U.S. was built in Baltimore, Maryland in 1821, mostly to clear the streets of the numerous drunken Irishmen passed out in the gutters.
• Annapolis, Maryland once served as the capital of the U.S., but the Congressional building was eventually moved to Washington, D.C. to make room for the United States Hooker Academy.
• The first dental school in the U.S. opened at the University of Maryland in 1840. The early facilities were quite primitive, and the first class taught there was a course in how to make a set of dentures out of duct tape and roofing nails.
• The Concord Point lighthouse is the oldest continuously operated lighthouse in Maryland, because no one in the state is smart enough to figure out how to operate the light switch.
• Maryland was originally populated by confused colonists from Virginia who wandered too far north and got stuck in snowbanks.
• Kind of explains the light switch thing, doesn’t it?
• The highest waterfall in Maryland is Muddy Creek Falls. At 63 feet tall, it’s actually large enough for Michael Moore to fit underneath it, unless he’s laying on his back.
• In 1790 Maryland rounded up all the lawyers in the state and threw them into a fetid swamp near the southern border of the state, now known as Washington, D.C.
• The first successful manned hot air balloon launch occurred in Baltimore, Maryland in 1784. The pilot – Edward Warren – reportedly described his trip as “a great way to peek down the front of women’s dresses.”
• The state song of Maryland is “Maybe We Should’ve Killed Those Lawyers Before We Threw Them In That Swamp.”

Well, that wraps up the Maryland edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be swerving off a bridge like a Kennedy as we visit Massachusetts.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a hot air balloon ride.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to pass out on the floor of the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts, so let’s get started…

• Massachusetts became the 6th state on February 6th 1788, thereby stripping Pennsylvania of its coveted “hardest state name to spell correctly” title.
• The state motto of Massachusetts is “The Yankees Suck!”
• The state flower of Massachusetts is the gin blossom, which made Ted Kennedy’s face a protected state wilderness area.
• The highest point in Massachusetts is Mt. Greylock at 3,500 feet. It was recently re-named “Mt. Whitelock” after it successfully defeated a Balrog.
• Massachusetts was nicknamed the Bay State because its large native population of werewolves spend a lot of time howling at the moon.
• The word Massachusetts is a Narraganset Indian word meaning “Tribal elders say ok. Squaw can marry squaw.”
• Massachusetts has a population of 6 million people, all of whom have a harder time pronouncing the letter “R” than a busload of Japanese tourists.
• The state song of Massachusetts is “The Theme From Brokeback Mountain.”
• Actor Jack Albertson was born in Malden, Massachusetts, and was best known for playing Grandpa Joe in the original version of “Teddy and the Whiskey Factory.”
• Salem, Massachusetts was the site of the infamous witch trials of 1692, where over 50 women were burned at the stake for weighing the same as a duck.
• The first subway system was built in Boston, Massachusetts, in 1897. The subway cars were originally propelled by lashing an Irishman to the front and dangling a potato in front of him.
• The town of Franklin, Massachusetts was NOT named in honor of Benjamin Franklin, as most people think, but rather for the token black kid in the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special.
• The city of Rockport, Massachusetts contains a house that’s built entirely out of old newspapers. Visitors are requested not to jump to any hasty conclusions regarding why the toilet is made out of the New York Times.
• The birth control pill was invented in Worcester, Massachusetts, and proved to be even more effective at preventing conception than attending a Star Trek Convention dressed as a Klingon.
• Boston, Massachusetts takes its name from an Irish word meaning “crime-ridden cesspool.”
• The first Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1621 after the sword Excalibur was pulled from Plymouth Rock by Arthur, King of the Pilgrims.
• Why, yes, I was watching “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” while researching these fun facts.
• All the Founding Fathers threw tea into Boston Harbor during the Boston Tea Party on December 16th, 1773, except for John Hancock, who was busy writing his name in the snow in letters large enough for King George to read without his glasses.
• Massachusetts was originally settled by the cast of the British TV show, “Survivor: Plymouth.”
• Massachusetts is currently engulfed in a brutal civil war between Dunkin’ Donuts and Krispy Kreme over which is the “One True Donut.”
• The Massachusetts tourism slogan is, “Man, woman, goat – whatever – if you can fit it into a wedding dress, you can marry it here.”
• On this day in 1985, Ted Kennedy successfully drove over a bridge without killing anyone.
• Well, technically he ran over a homeless guy, but that doesn’t really count.
• Soldiers from Massachusetts are the most feared of all American fighting men, since – being true Patriots – they always defeat their enemies with a last-second field goal.

Well, that wraps up the Massachusetts edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week I’ll be taking a swing through the land of new cars and breakfast cereals as I visit Michigan.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish getting this goat into a wedding dress.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to do a little digging into where all those Yankees in King Arthur’s Court keep coming from as we visit Connecticut, so let’s get started…

• Connecticut is a small state in the northeastern U.S. and is best known for being the place that beer cans land after New Yorkers throw them out of their car windows.
• The highest point in Connecticut is Mt. Frissel, at 2,380 feet, which is where Connecticut residents go to throw the empty beer cans back into New York.
• Connecticut has only 2 interstate highways, neither of which gets you out of the state fast enough.
• Connecticut is an Algonquin Indian word meaning “yuppie scum.”
• Although Connecticut borders Massachusetts, no Kennedys live there because Connecticut liquor stores all close at 8pm.
• Many areas of Connecticut are plagued by foraging herds of white tail deer that destroy crops and gardens. The only way for residents to keep the deer at bay is pay “protection money” to Don Bambi, head of the deer mafia.
• The New England Patriots football team almost moved to Hartford, Connecticut, but declined to do so because the deal included renaming the team to the Hartford Homos.
• The fuchsia & chartreuse uniforms WERE tempting, though.
• The official insect of Connecticut is the Praying Mantis – an obvious violation of the separation of church and state.
• Connecticut is populated mainly by people who couldn’t decide whether they wanted to live further away from Boston or New York City.
• Connecticut is called the “nutmeg state” because the early Connecticut colonists would sell fake nutmegs to unsuspecting tourists. This is somewhat analogous to referring to the Kennedys as the “designated driver family.”
• The state motto of Connecticut is “As close to New York as New Jersey is, but with less toxic waste.”
• In terms of distance, Connecticut is the closest state in the US to France, which is why most people in Connecticut face east when they spit.
• George W. Bush was born in New Haven, Connecticut on July 6, 1946, but moved to Texas as a teenager to pursue his dream of stealing oil.
• Although Connecticut ranks 48th among the states in terms of size, it ranks a close second behind Massachusetts in terms of snooty, upper-class arrogance.
• Connecticut become the 5th state on January 9th, 1788. It would’ve joined sooner, but everyone was out skiing in Vermont.
• Despite the state’s small size, it DOES have a state college – the University of Connecticut or UCONN – which should NOT be confused with the popular rat poison.
• The state flag of Connecticut consists of a blue background, a white shield, 3 grapevines, and a Latin motto meaning “He who transplanted sustains us.” Officially, it refers to early colonists coming in from Boston, but that doesn’t explain the large number of tourists who wake up in a tub of ice, missing a kidney.
• The official state song of Connecticut is Yankee Doodle, which was originally written in 1750 to honor the official state pasta.
• Being a small state, Connecticut has only one radio station, which plays nothing but different versions of Yankee Doodle 24 hours a day. The most popular being Snoop Dogg’s “Yo Yo Yizzle Dizzle.”
• The world’s first nuclear submarine, the USS Nautilus, was built in Groton, Connecticut in 1954, after which it turned on its creators and went on a fearsome, building-destroying rampage through the city.
• The practice of branding farm animals began in Connecticut, where farmers were required by law to mark their pigs, which is why Michael Moore will never visit the state.
• The Hartford Courant, established in 1764, is America’s oldest newspaper. A glance through some of the earliest editions shows that, even back then, Doonesbury wasn’t funny.
• Seriously, when is Trudeau gonna stop recycling that “Thomas Paine lied, people died” line?
• The Polaroid camera was invented in Connecticut in 1934. Blackmailing people with compromising photographs was invented about 60 seconds later.
• The first English settlers arrived in Hartford in 1636 and were tricked into staying in the area by settlers from Boston who promised them that the Patriots would move there “any day now.”

That wraps up the Connecticut edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll discover that crossing the river wearing a tri-cornered hat actually had nothing to do with the state as we look at Delaware.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go step on a Praying Mantis to protect my freedom of religion.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to realize too late that the fuzzy thing you’re eating isn’t a peach, it’s just been in the fridge too long as we visit Georgia, so let’s get started…

• Georgia became the 4th state on January 2nd, 1788, and its citizens commemorate this day each year by shooting British people with muskets.
• Contrary to popular myth, not everyone who lives in Georgia is a redneck. There’s plenty of toothless, moonshine-swilling hillbillies, too.
• Coca-Cola was invented in Columbus, Georgia, in 1885, and first sold to the public in Atlanta in 1886. The original formula has changed since then, and the drink no longer contains actual cocaine or the blood of virgins.
• “Georgia” is a Cherokee Indian word meaning, “Are those rednecks or hillbillies?”
• Despite the way natives pronounce the state’s name, “Jawjah” is NOT spelled with a “W.”
• Unlike the word “dawg.”
• Since it almost never snows in Georgia, children there spend winters having cotton ball fights.
• While having a cotton ball fight, it’s considered cheating to stuff a peach pit in the cotton.
• In Georgia, everything is made out of cotton. Except the peaches, which are made out of okra.
• Atlanta, Georgia, has the worst traffic of any city in the U.S., since every street in the city is named “Peachtree Road.”
• The last time it snowed in Georgia, the confused natives thought it was ash from the Yankees burning Atlanta again.
• The state motto of Georgia is “Wisdom, Justice, Moderation,” which replaced the old motto of “Whiskey, Hookers, NASCAR.”
• In Georgia, every soft drink is referred to as “Coke.” Except for Pepsi, which is referred to as “Damn Yankee Poison.”
• After Jimmy Carter left the presidency in 1981, he returned to his home town of Plains, Georgia, and went on a bloody shooting rampage.
• Wait… I meant to type “worked for Habitat for Humanity.” Stupid autocorrect.
• The only way to get to Florida from Georgia is by sea, since the Georgia-Florida border is heavily defended by landmines and alligators.
• The Georgia Music Hall of Fame in Macon, Georgia, celebrates the careers of all the talented musicians who were born in Georgia, and is currently empty.
• They WERE going to put in a Ray Charles exhibit, but they figured there was no point, since he wouldn’t see it anyway.
• Saint Marys, Georgia, is the second-oldest city in the US, and will soon be moving to Florida to retire.
• If it can make it past the landmines and alligators, that is.
• The state fish of Georgia is the largemouth bass, which shouldn’t be confused with the much more common loudmouth drunk.
• The name of Georgia’s largest swamp, the Okefenokee, comes from a Shawnee Indian word meaning “I’d rather live in a swamp than eat okra.”
• Georgia was originally populated by settlers from England and drunk people from Alabama who couldn’t find their way home.
• The Governor’s mansion in Georgia is the only quadruple-wide trailer in America.
• Some people are offended by the fact that three Confederate leaders are carved into the side of Georgia’s Stone Mountain. Other people figure it’s ok, since the back ends of the horses point north.
• In Georgia, it’s considered ungentlemanly to stare at a woman’s breasts while talking to her.
• Unless she’s REALLY hot.
• In the year 2227, Dr. Leonard McCoy will be born in Atlanta, Georgia and will go on to become Chief Medical Officer of the USS Enterprise. If you already knew this, then you’re a pathetic nerd who will never kiss a girl.
• The most common cause of death in Georgia is getting murdered in a fight over the proper way to pronounce the word “pecan.”
• Georgia is the state most likely to be invaded by Jane Fonda and have its peanut oil stolen to power her tour bus.
• The official state prepared food of Georgia is grits, which consists of coarsely ground bits of corn and shouldn’t be confused with hog slop, which is made from coarsely ground bits of corn.
• Although Georgia is already America’s #1 grower of peanuts, farmers there are working to develop a “super-peanut” which will be twice as large and shoot laser beams out of its eyes.
• They hope to use it to stop Jane Fonda.

That wraps up the Georgia edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be slipping into a grass skirt for our trip to Hawaii.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go murder someone who said “PEE-can”

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it’s time to thrill to the intoxicating aroma of inadequately-maintained industrial landfills as we visit New Jersey. So let’s get started…

• New Jersey became the 3rd state on December 18, 1787 after cutting off the head of Old Jersey and shouting “There can be only ONE!”
• The state song of New Jersey is “I’m From New Jersey,” the only state song which is perfectly adaptable to any state or city with a 3-syllable name. Think of it as “witness protection program friendly.”
• At over 1,000 people per square mile, New Jersey has a population density 13 times the U.S. average, the subject of numerous protests by KFCeTP (Kentucky Fried Chickens for the Ethical Treatment of People).
• Newark, New Jersey is the car-theft capital of the world, although the Newark Chamber of Commerce prefers to refer to it as “pre-emptive recycling.”
• Cape May, New Jersey, is the oldest seaside resort in the US and brags that it has “the best fed sharks north of Amity.”
• The state flower of New Jersey is the violet. And before you ask: no, I didn’t accidentally leave out the “n.”
• The state’s name, however, WAS originally a typographical error, when an inattentive clerk mistakenly typed an “s” instead of a “k” on the colony’s application for statehood.
• One exceptionally capitalistic area of New Jersey contains 7 shopping malls in a 25 square mile area and frequently exceeds the EPA limits on perfume particulates.
• New Jersey is America’s second largest producer of industrial chemicals. First, if you include the stuff that’s burning on the rivers.
• Thomas Edison invented the light bulb in his Menlo Park, New Jersey, laboratory, which soon replaced kerosene, whale oil, and natural gas lamps as the “good idea” symbol.
• The first Miss America pageant took place in Atlantic City, New Jersey, in 1921, helping to end the dark chapter in American history where beautiful, large-breasted women were routinely shunned and ignored.
• The streets in the game Monopoly are all named for actual streets in Atlantic City, New Jersey, which are frequently clogged with shoes and top hats.
• New Jersey’s Fort Dix was named for Major General John Adams Dix, and NOT for the fact that it was the last all-male Army base in the U.S.
• Atlantic City, New Jersey has the longest boardwalk in the world. Enough trees were used in its construction to make 10,000 hippies weep in anguish.
• The first Indian reservation in the U.S. was created in New Jersey, which – surprisingly – did NOT trigger a case involving the 8th Amendment’s “cruel and unusual punishment” clause.
• Union, New Jersey is home to the world’s tallest water tower. At 212 feet tall, it contains enough water to completely clean out three of Michael Moore’s belly-folds.
• New Jersey is the only state in the nation that offers child abuse prevention workshops in every public school. Although you’d think that if they REALLY cared about the kids, they’d just move them out of the state.
• The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, New Jersey, one of the few times in the state’s history where the use of a baseball bat wasn’t immediately followed by a homicide investigation.
• The first drive-in movie theater was opened Camden, New Jersey, in 1933, less than one year before Camden set the record for “most illegitimate births.”
• Tourism is New Jersey’s second-largest industry, just behind discreet body-disposal.
• The knobbed whelk is the state seashell, not a nickname for New York tourists.
• The first dinosaur skeleton found in the U.S. was discovered in Haddonfield, New Jersey. Paleontologists theorize that the cause of its death was incorrectly answering the question “What do you mean funny, funny how?”
• Dioxin is New Jersey’s state toxic waste
• Good luck guessing whether that one’s true or not.
• Comedians Bud Abbot and Lou Costello were both born in New Jersey. Their famous comedy routine “Who Do Youse Want Me to Whack First” was later re-written slightly to appeal to a broader audience.
• Singer Whitney Houston was born in Newark, New Jersey, where she first discovered her amazing talent for making dogs howl across three counties.
• Singer Bruce Springsteen was born in Freehold, New Jersey. The city’s residents are the only people who know what he’s actually singing in “Blinded By The Light.”
• “Washing with a loofah in the corner to the right”? “Dressed up in a tutu like the mother of my wife”? What the HELL is he singing?
• “The Chairman of the Board” Frank Sinatra was born in Hoboken, New Jersey. He… I’ve just been handed a note… apparently if I value my kneecaps, I should be keepin’ by yap shut about Mr. Sinatra.
• Never mind.
• In New Jersey, “Wawa” refers to a particular chain of convenience stores, NOT to the last sound the guy in your trunk makes before you throw him in the dumpster behind the convenience store.
• The reason people always ask folks from New Jersey “What exit?” is that it’s the only phrase that can’t be mistaken for a criticism of Mr. Sinatra.

That wraps up the New Jersey edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be nervously drumming our fingers on the dashboard while awaiting the arrival of our drug mule near the southern border of New Mexico.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go discuss loan repayment terms with a couple burly gentlemen behind the Wawa.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we’ll be recklessly running Amish buggies off the road for fun as we visit Pennsylvania. So let’s get started…

• Pennsylvania became the 2nd state on December 12, 1787. They foolishly squandered their shot at being first by mistakenly assuming that Delaware would choose scissors instead of paper.
• Pennsylvania license plates are white with blue lettering, and contain the helpful phrase “Not The Sylvania With The Vampires.”
• The state Motto of Pennsylvania is “Buy our Revolutionary-War-related souvenirs or we’ll question your patriotism.”
• Pennsylvania has a population of over 12 million people, all of whom can spell “Roethlisberger” without looking it up first.
• Born in Cove Gap, Pennsylvania, James Buchanan was elected the 15th president of the U.S. due the use of confusing butterfly ballots in Florida – the REAL cause of the Civil War.
• Pennsylvania was the first state to have its own web site – www.two.n.one.l.gov
• The first baseball stadium was built in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1909. It was financed by Old Man Johnson, who explained, “It’s cheaper than replacing all the windows those gul-durned whipper-snappers keep breaking – now get offa my lawn!”
• Hershey, Pennsylvania is the Chocolate Capital of the U.S. – Ray Nagin’s claims about New Orleans to the contrary notwithstanding.
• The first automobile service station was opened in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1913. The first customer was finally served in 1915, after the invention of that cable-thingy that rings a bell when you run over it.
• The first computer was built in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in 1946. It was as big as a house, could not answer complex questions, and its responses were confusing gobbledygook which even experts had a hard time deciphering. Sorta like Michael Moore without the filthy ball cap.
• York Barbell Co. was started in York, Pennsylvania, in 1932. Its Olympic bodybuilding coach founder, Bob Hoffman, inspired such burly legends as Charles Atlas and Arnold Schwarzenegger by kicking sand in their faces and stealing their girls back when they were still weak and helpless.
• The first daily newspaper in the U.S. was published in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in 1784. Its first headline: “Redcoats Of Mass Destruction Never Existed – The Lies Behind Washington’s Illegal War For Tea.”
• In Loganville, Pennsylvania, in 1885, Dr. George Holtzapple recorded the first successful medical use of oxygen to help a patient breathe. The new technique would never replace the more reliable mixture of opium smoke and powdered leeches still used in hospitals today.
• The Rockville Bridge in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania was the longest stone arch bridge in the world until it was destroyed for the climatic fight scene during the filming of “Fellowship of the Ring II: The Balroginning.”
• Kennett Square, Pennsylvania is known as the Mushroom Capital of the World. The town produces more fungus per square foot than a truck stop shower stall.
• The Declaration of Independence was singed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in 1776. That’s NOT a typo. Seems that after the signing, the Founding Fathers got ‘faced and weren’t too careful with the fireworks.
• KDKA radio in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, produced the first commercial radio broadcast in 1920 which featured Jebediah and Ezekiel, the Wacky Amish Morning Guys.
• Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, was home to the Liberty Bell for many years, but it was recently traded for the Security Bell by those who deserve neither.
• Washington Crossing, Pennsylvania, holds an annual re-enactment of Washington’s famous crossing of the Delaware River. At least until last year when they were sued by the ACLU, which claimed that the word “crossing” discriminated against non-Christians.
• Benjamin Franklin created the first American zoo in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It was originally stocked with British POWs wearing animal costumes.
• Attention Amnesty International – NOT TORTURE.
• Actor Jimmy Stewart was born in Indiana, Pennsylvania. Every year, the city is decorated with an “It’s A Wonderful Life” theme. A bit of IAWL trivia – in the original version, Stewart’s character burns down the Bailey Building & Loan for the insurance money and escapes to the Bahamas.
• The Williamsport team won the first Little League World Series, held in Williamsport, Pennsylvania in 1947. Experts agree that the Williamsport team could quite likely have beaten the 1947 Chicago Cubs. Or the Cubs in ANY year, for that matter.
• The city of State College, Pennsylvania, was the first city to offer a high school driver’s education course, replacing the older method of handing the kid the keys and a six pack and wishing him luck.
• George Blaisdell founded the Zippo Manufacturing Co. in Bradford, Pennsylvania, in 1932. His lighters were featured prominently in the original version of “It’s A Wonderful Life.”
• There is actually a town in Pennsylvania called Intercourse. However, moving there won’t guarantee you a satisfying sex life. Moving to Climax, Pennsylvania, on the other hand…
• In 1859, Edwin Drake drilled the world’s first oil well in Titusville, Pennsylvania, thus making possible the women’s lubricated wrestling industry.
• Johann Behrent built the first American piano in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1775 after a friend bet him $200 that there was nothing more annoying than a hyperactive 3-year-old banging away on a harpsichord.
• Philadelphia was the home of Betsy Ross, who made the first American flag, as well as doing the embroidery on George Washington’s “If you can read this, the bitch fell off my horse” jacket.
• Punxsutawney Phil, the most famous groundhog in the world, makes his home in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. Although ostensibly unbiased, he has long been rumored to be a mere tool of Big Weather.
• Comedian and actor Bill Cosby was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and was the last black man to sell a consumer product without using the word “yo.”

That wraps up the Pennsylvania edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be trying desperately to locate Quahog on a map as we visit Rhode Island.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go buy some Revolutionary-War-related souvenirs.

NOW STOP QUESTIONING MY PATRIOTISM!

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]

This is a reposting of one of Harvey’s classics. There’s a link to the book in the sidebar. — The Editors

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States, where – week by week – I’ll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting, yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, grab your pumpkin catapult, because we’re taking a trip to Delaware, so let’s get started…

• Delaware is a small state located in the Northeastern U.S. in the New England region. Which is much like Old England, except with fewer spam-loving Vikings.
• At its widest point, Delaware is 35 miles across, which means – in THEORY – that the state could contain Michael Moore’s ass.
• The world’s largest frying pan was built in Selbyville, Delaware, in 1950 for the DelMarVa Peninsula Annual Chicken Festival. It’s 10 feet across, holds 800 chicken quarters, and is the only reason Michael Moore might try to squeeze his ass into Delaware.
• Delaware was the first state to ratify the U.S. constitution in 1787. This is why people from Delaware are always wearing big foam fingers and shouting “we’re #1!”
• Can’t blame ’em, I guess. It’s not like they have any sports teams to get excited about. Although the ones who don’t read so well sometimes make a fuss over “their” basketball team the “Dover” Nuggets.
• Delaware shares a semi-circular border with Pennsylvania, which marks the perimeter of the area guarded by the official state pit bull that’s chained up in Wilmington.
• The official state bug of Delaware is the ladybug, an insect easily identified by its red back, black spots, and 6 tiny foam fingers.
• Delaware is the only state in the U.S. without any national parks. They were all eliminated as part of the plea bargain after Smokey the Bear was indicted in Delaware on arson charges.
• Delaware is the second smallest state in the U.S. It actually WAS the smallest at one time, but then they gave the state Pit Bull another 10 feet of chain.
• Although the log cabin was invented in Delaware in 1645, only one log cabin remains intact today, the rest having been eaten by ladybugs.
• The state bird of Delaware is The Blue Hen chicken which is known for it fighting ability. During the Revolutionary war, a single Blue Hen once defeated an entire platoon of French soldiers.
• Unfortunately, the French were fighting on America’s side at the time, and it would’ve cost us the war if they hadn’t been rescued at the last second by a brigade of lady bugs.
• The first settlers arrived in Delaware 11 years after the arrival of the Mayflower, because the men in charge wouldn’t stop to ask for directions.
• The official state song of Delaware is “Our Delaware”, recorded by Chuck Berry in 1972.
• Wait… I’m thinking of “My Ding-a-Ling”. Never mind.
• The highest point in Delaware is a mere 442 feet above sea level. Despite the lack of mountains, Delaware DOES actually have a ski resort, located 5 miles north of Munchkin City.
• The first permanent colony on Delaware soil was New Sweden, which quickly died out because none of the other colonists could understand a damn word they said.
• I mean, how were THEY supposed to know that “Vhee zee cuoorfa hooffa heemun!” meant “Help us! We’re starving!”?
• A common sight on Delaware beaches are horseshoe crabs and shuffleboard lobsters.
• Delaware’s official state colors are “Colonial blue” and “buff”, which is just completely gay.
• The Delaware Indians were the most advanced and civilized of all the tribes in America until the White Man came, gave them smallpox, and stole their oil.
• Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver, was born in Wilmington, Delaware. He developed his famous live-saving technique quite accidentally, while researching ways to sneak up behind people and punch them in stomach.
• Poodle Beach in Delaware was voted America’s Gayest Beach for 10 consecutive years. It’s annual Drag Queen volleyball competition attracts thousands of… Hey! Is that Tom Cruise?
• Sussex County, Delaware, is home to the annual Punkin’ Chunkin’ contest, where people use homemade catapults to throw pumpkins as far as they can. Prizes are awarded for distance, accuracy, and the pumpkin that most resembles Ted Kennedy’s fat head.
• Many residents of Delaware enjoy eating “scrapple”, a dish made from cornmeal mixed with pigs’ hearts, livers, snouts, tails, and other parts too disgusting to be eaten on their own. If you’re given the choice between eating scrapple fried or baked, choose suicide.
• Delaware does NOT charge a sales tax on consumer purchases. It DOES, however, tax the earnings of prostitutes, since that’s technically considered a “rental.”
• The test for a driver’s license in Delaware is to turn your car around without any part of it leaving the state.
• No one in Delaware has a driver’s license.
• During World War II, 12 concrete towers were built along the Delaware coastline so that observers could watch for the approach of German submarines. 1,000 yards away. Underwater. In the dark.
• Why yes, it WAS a union job. How did you know?

That wraps up the Delaware edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we’ll be wondering if that’s a leather coat that guy is wearing or if he’s just another senior citizen with a tan as we visit Florida.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go throw myself off a cliff so that I don’t have to eat this plate of scrapple.

[The complete e-book version of “Fun Facts About the 50 States” is now available at Amazon.com. If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle apps for your web browser, smartphone, computer, or tablet from Amazon.com]