To placate liberals, President Trump offered to say something that was actually racist, but they just got madder at him because all he did was quote famous Democrat politicians.

If this election were a movie, I just have the feeling that President Trump would be swinging a light saber and the Democrat candidates would all be wearing identical cheap white plastic armor. I know the Death Star was Hillary’s 2016 campaign. I guess we already know what happens to the second one.

President Trump has completely redecorated the White House in rainbow colors. Leftists will be disappointed to discover that it’s because LeVar Burton is stopping by for a visit.

President Trump said he will immediately “do something” about guns. Step one: a one-mile gun-free perimeter around all presidential candidate debate sites. Yes, that includes bodyguards. But the size limit on gun free zone signs will be doubled to make up for it.

Theory: it’s cheaper for the left to continue to demand that President Trump be impeached than it is to pay for the therapy to get the imaginary President Trump living in their heads to resign.

After the debates, Democrats are beginning to realize that the only hope they have for defeating President Trump in 2020 is cutting his hair and chaining him to the pillars of a temple.

President Trump has agreed to implement socialism in order to give people, for free, the stuff that they have a right to. First on the list is guns, because a lot of people would still be alive if they’d had them last weekend.

How surprised will anyone be when Democrats – confronted with two mass shootings in one weekend – more loudly condemn the one they can stretch to blame President Trump for, yet still offer the same “ban guns” solution to both?

President Trump disagrees with Bernie Sanders’s calls for impeachment, saying “no man should ever vote to impeach two presidents, and Sanders already had his shot when he voted to impeach Andrew Johnson“

President Trump wants to know why, if Elijah Cummings really wanted to get rid of the rats in his district, he never proposed a bill to make having a rat a guaranteed right funded by a federal government program.

There are cave paintings of President Trump’s ancestor building a wall, and Nancy Pelosi is there protesting it.

The basic unfairness of the Democrat Debates is that there are so many candidates that President Trump can’t squeeze all of their belittling nicknames in under 280 characters.

After spending a billion dollars on his investigation, Robert Mueller was unable to produce any evidence that the flamboyant, high-profile billionaire in the White House was secretly Iron Man. Heck, he couldn’t prove he was Batman, either, and they found a cave under the West Wing.

Take THAT, Democrats! In addition to allowing the southern border wall, the recent SCOTUS ruling also allows President Trump to build a fence to keep rabbits out of the White House vegetable garden.

Although President Trump was too polite to mention it, Democrats at the Mueller hearing had about as much luck as Charlie Brown had at trick or treating. Ok, fine… that’s the only way he DIDN’T ridicule them.