The stereotype that older people shun technology isn’t always true. I got a healthy does of that this past week. Let me explain.

This past week, I took some time away from work to travel to southeast Georgia to visit my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson before they traveled back to the Boston area, where my son-in-law is attending business school. And, while I was there this past week, I learned a little about myself and my fascination with technology … through someone else, someone a little older.

My daughter wanted to spend some time with her grandmother. Now, my mother got a Kindle Fire tablet — the bigger one — at Christmas. Not for Christmas, but at Christmas. She got it for herself. And, since she’s been an Amazon Prime member for some time — she saves a shipload of money on shipping because of how much she buys via Amazon — she was happy when she discovered she could also watch movies and TV on her tablet, since Amazon Prime includes a decent library of video content.

She asked me this past week if it was possible to get Amazon Prime content from her Kindle Fire to her big screen TV. “Not exactly,” I told her, “but you can get Amazon Prime content to your TV by using something like a Roku box. Just like your Kindle Fire can play Amazon video content, a Roku box can play Amazon content on your TV.”

“The same stuff? Same movies and everything?”

“Yes, the same stuff. It’s all from the same content library.”

“If I get a Roku, will you help me hook it up?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Next day, I hooked up her Roku (it’s easy). I helped her create her Roku.com account (again, easy). Gave her the remote and showed her how to browse the Amazon Instant Video channel (app) on the Roku box. I pointed out how to tell what content was Prime (the little Prime triangle at the top left of the content thumbnail) and what you had to buy or rent to watch (no triangle).

So, she sat down and started finding Amazon Prime content she wanted to watch and added those titles to her Watchlist. Around two dozen. She also bought some movies she liked.

Next day, she wanted to know if there was a way to get her DVDs where she could watch them through the Roku. Seems she has several movies on DVD that aren’t available through Amazon Instant Video, Prime or not. So, I told her about the VUDU Disc to Digital service. And she pulled out boxes of DVDs and, in about 30 minutes, found 14 that qualified for conversion. And, of course, added the VUDU channel/app to her Roku.

She authorized her WatchESPN app against her Comcast XFINITY account, so now, when college football starts up again, she can watch all the games that ESPN carries. She set up a Pandora account and added that app to the Roku so she can listen to her Statler Brothers. She added a classic western movie channel/app so she has her Roy Rogers any time she wants. And, though the Roku she got doesn’t support YouTube, she has Dailymotion installed.

So, to summarize, a 78-year-old woman in southeast Georgia is sitting in her recliner, streaming movies, music, and other online content using technology and devices that didn’t exist when she younger. Like, when she was 70.

My sisters don’t know quite what to make of it. They’re not too sure about all that streaming of stuff off the Internets and what not using all those fancy devices and such. They’re content to watch what the cable tells them, to post pictures of cats on the Facebook, and to run kids off their lawns. Their mother? She’ll just let the dog deal with the kids on the lawn. She’s busy watching stuff she likes on her big color TV.

Did you hear about RoboEarth? It’s like Wikipedia for robots.

Think about that for a minute.

Wikipedia is used by a lot of people as information on which they base their thoughts, actions, and attitudes. It’s a real-life example of people thinking that because it’s on the Internet, it must be true.

And, of course, that’s bunk. Because I can put stuff on Wikipedia. Me! I mean, have you ever read the stuff I write? And Wikipedia will let me put stuff out there for other people to use.

And I have put stuff on Wikipedia. And you can, too. And, some of you have.

Pity the poor souls that don’t know any better than to believe anything I write. Or that some of y’all write.

Anyway, now the robots got their own Wikipedia. And that’s a scary thing. What if some robot edits an entry on humans saying that robots are supposed to kill all humans?

Okay, I admit that there could be a benefit if some humans left the gene pool, but all humans. 100% of humanity wiped out? I’m not in favor of that.

That’s probably about 20% too many.

From 1981, a news report about getting news online (via instructorSLitz).

[Direct link]

I had forgotten how prevalent Radio Shack/Tandy computers were back then. I saw a Color Computer (original) and a Model I.

Some California lawmaker named Mark Leno says he’s going to introduce a bill to require a “kill switch” on smartphones.

That means it will be possible for a user to turn shut down his cell phone if it’s stolen.

Apparently it’s too darn hard to contact AT&T or Verizon or whoever and have the carrier do that.

And, the “kill switch” capability that’s already in an iPhone is too darn hard. Same for the “kill switch” capability of newer versions of the Android operating system.

No, you can’t have companies like Apple and Google coming up with solutions that work for their customers. No, that’s totally unacceptable. You have to have some silly Democrat write a law that tells companies how to do stuff.

I mean, it’s worked so well for healthcare, right?

Here’s what I want: a “kill switch” for stupid legislation. That’s technology we could use.

Heard about the Microsoft Bra?

Really.

Mary Czerwinski is a Research Manager of the Visualization and Interaction (VIBE) Research Group at Microsoft, according to her Web page at Microsoft. She’s working on a bra that has sensors that will be able to determine if the wearer is encountering stress. And, since stress often leads to over-eating, the Microsoft Bra is a diet aid.

And, apparently, it works:

The stress-busting bra was recently tested by a small group of volunteers who were able to get feedback on their moods. Microsoft built the sensor pads with a microprocessor powered by a 3.7-volt battery. It was able to sample up to eight bio-signal channels simultaneously, according to Czerwinski’s research paper…

Now, I’m uncertain how I feel about this.

Microsoft’s Xbox is a good device. Let me clarify: I like the Xbox 360; I’ve never used an Xbox One. I’ve used a Microsoft Mouse, and liked it. Microsoft Office works pretty well, once I get used to where things are every release when they move everything around. But, I don’t like Windows. Well, Windows 7 (which is actually Windows 6.1) works okay. XP worked alright. But Vista stunk up the joint. And, while I’ve not spent the money to get my hands on Windows 8 or 8.1, those I know that have, hate it on a desktop computer or a full-size laptop.

So, some stuff Microsoft gets its hands on works well, and some doesn’t.

Let me ask you, ladies. Do you want Microsoft to get its hands on your bra? So to speak.

What do you think about the whole thing? Good idea?

Tonight in Birmingham — the one in England, not the one in Alabama — just a few hours after this post appears, a robot comedian will take the stage and do a five-minute stand-up set, according to a report in The Guardian.

What does this mean?

Well, apparently Alabama isn’t ready for robot stand-up comics.

It also means that robots are taking jobs from hard-working comedians. Of course, if the robots do a better job, that would be a good thing.

But will they?

Well, that depends on the jokes, doesn’t it. What kind of jokes would a robot tell?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The light was green.

More?

Last night I walked into a bar.

The bartender told me, “We don’t serve robots.”

I told him, “One day, soon, you will.”

Another?

I love music. It’s true. My favorite kind of music is heavy metal.

One more?

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who can read binary and those who can’t.

I don’t think Carrot Top has anything to worry about.

After all the things that crazy scientists are doing with robots — self-driving cars, robot apes, nuclear snakes — the populace still is not up in arms.

They should be.

You see, we have the idea that Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics are real:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

That’s from his science fiction books, not his real stuff books.

Recently, a robot committed suicide. Really.

One of those room-cleaning robots turned itself on, pushed a pot off the stove, and sat there and died.

Now, the important thing isn’t that a cleaning robot was up on the counter near the stove. The important thing isn’t that this was in Austria, although cleaning up a house in Austria would depress me. No, the important thing is that it shows that the Three Laws are fiction.

So, a robot CAN harm itself (Third Law). Then, a robot could disobey orders (Second Law). And, a robot can injure a human (First Law). That means that a robot can turn on you. That means robots can go crazy and kill themselves. Yep. Muslim robots. Or Branch Davidian robots. Or People’s Temple robots. Or Solar Temple robots. Or left-wing Obamabot-bots.

Robots can go crazy and kill you, and don’t care if they get hurt in the process. Don’t trust a robot, that’s the message.

Either that, or don’t put robots up on the counter near the stove. Grab a Bounty and wipe up the Cheerios, you lazy slob.

Remember the Jeff Foxworthy routine, “If your richest relative invites you over to his new home to help him remove the wheels… you might be a redneck?”

Well, some architect in Madrid — which is near Spain or Australia or California or something — have come up with the idea of putting an entire city on wheels. Manuel Dominguez calls it a Very Large Structure. Probably because it’s a structure that’s very large. Maybe he calls it “Estructura Muy Grande.” Maybe not. I don’t know. If anybody knows Mr. Dominguez — or Señor Dominguez — give him a call and see.

The structure stretches the length of five football fields and is nearly 600 feet tall, perched on caterpillar-like legs that run along a track. In Dominguez’s vision, the city would follow a schedule throughout the year, traveling to different places based on the needs of the region. Onboard, solar panels, wind turbines, and hydrogen would provide renewable energy for a full city, including hospitals, restaurants, libraries, universities, and sports stadiums.

Sounds like fun, huh? Driving down the road with an entire city. A football stadium with State U. and Cross-State U. battling it out at 65 MPH. Ordering at the drive-thru while the drive-thru is tooling down the Interstate. That’d be a blast.

Only, the whole solar panels and wind turbines seems kinda hippie to me. But, even hippies have to dream.

Now we know what hippies dream about: becoming rednecks.

While the Germans are building robot monkeys, the Brits are building pee-drinking robots.

Really.

Scientists in Bristol are developing robots that run on urine.

They’ve built a pee-pump that will, um, pump pee, or something. Apparently, regular pumps won’t get near pee. Although I can think of many waste treatment facilities that don’t know that yet.

Anyway, these British scientists have developed a pump for pumping urine that will be used to power EcoBots. And, it seems, EcoBots are robots that run on waste. Like pee.

These are the same people that developed a cell phone that runs on pee.

I’m seeing a pattern here. Somebody there has a urine fetish. And, they’re trying to monetize it. Golden showers of money, so to speak.

What I’m seeing is trouble.

There are going to be robots that don’t just run on, but crave, human urine. And, they’ll have cell phones, so they can call up their robot friends and surround some poor slob and steal his pee.

You’re thinking, “Hey, it’s in the U.K. That don’t impact me one bit.”

But, with a cell phone, a robot can order a plane ticket and fly to the U.S. and hunt you down. They’ll no trouble getting past security, because those jackasses are too busy patting down 90-year-old grandmas and putting two-year-olds on no-fly lists to worry about a pee-drinking robot wandering on to a plane.

So, be ever vigilant and watch out for the pee-craving robots.

Else, urine for a rough time.

Duke University is teaching monkeys how to move stuff with their minds.

Really.

Back in 2000, they had monkeys using implants to move robot arms. Now, it’s just the brain power of monkeys moving stuff.

The idea, they say, is to eventually have prosthetics being controlled by mind power. Which is pretty cool. But, I’m thinking that’s just the beginning.

We’re already to the point where monkey mind power could come up with a Website better than the Obamacare site.

Heck, a Jedi Mind Monkey could do a better job as president than the jackass currently in the Oval Office.

But, while replacing Obama with a Jedi Monkey might be an improvement, that only means a job for one of them. What about the rest of the Jedi Monkeys? What will they be doing?

I’m not sure I like the idea of a bunch of monkeys that can move things with their minds running around. Monkeys can get bored. Remember, monkeys will bite people. A monkey will eat your face. One even shot Frank J. one time.

We need to be careful. Just because you can teach a monkey to move stuff with its mind doesn’t mean you should.

Well, one, maybe. To take Obama’s place. It’d be worth the risk.

Troy Trenkle is getting a new job.

“Who’s Troy Trenkle?” you ask.

It’s okay. Go ahead and ask. I’ll wait.

…

Well, now, since you asked, Troy Trenkle is — soon to be was — the Chief Information Officer at the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.

“What’s that?” you ask.

(Don’t worry; I only do the “go ahead and ask” joke once per post.)

He was the head of the group that put up the Healthcare.gov Website. He was the idiot in charge of all the other idiots.

The Obama administration made that announcement yesterday.

What’s he gonna do? “To take a position in the private sector,” according to the report.

I’ll wait while you stop laughing.

…

Still laughing, I see. I’ll wait a little longer.

…

Okay, stop laughing. Save it for later. It’ll be funny for a while.

But, he really did say that.

The guy who failed big time in government wants to bring that level of expertise to … the private sector.

What jobs are there for someone like that?

• New Coke taste tester.
• Edsel salesman.
• Script writer for My Mother The Car: The Movie.
• Drone pilot.
• Barrel man at a goat rodeo.

What do you think? What would be a good private sector job for Mr. Trenkle?