The Fred’s Best Line contest continues, and the rumors are true: Fred himself will be picking the winners.
Also, if you’re in search of some great Fred Lines, don’t forget to scour the old Lightning Round videos.
Here’s the background & rule-related mumbo-jumbo again for folks who came late to the party or who just have short memories:
So the powers-that-be over at the Fred Thompson Show said “Hey Harvey, go promote Fred’s book, ‘Teaching the Pig to Dance’. Here’s 3 signed copies courtesy of Premiere Collectibles you can use for prizes”.
I said “Cool!”
Here’s how it works:
Contest runs 3 days, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. You put in the comments what you think is Fred’s best line. 3 winners are selected from all submissions posted before Midnight on Friday. Winners announced Monday. Prizes are awarded to said winners (assuming they had the foresight to include a working email with their comment and I can get ahold of them to get a mailing address).
“Fred’s best line” means any quote, from any of Fred’s TV shows, movies, his radio show, YouTube videos, Facebook, Twitter, etc. that you think totally rocks.
Now, IMAO is not some sort of fact-stickler news organization like CNN or MSNBC, so it’s not like anybody’s going to actually check your quote to see if it’s real. So if you just completely make something up that kinda sounds like something Fred would say, like “If these Democrats don’t stop passing these ridiculous spending bills, I’m gonna grab a copy of the Constitution and beat ’em sensible with it,” who am I to question its truthiness?
For those who do not win, and for those voyeurs who just want to sit and watch while everyone else has fun, signed copies of “Teaching the Pig to Dance” are available for purchase at Premiere Collectibles for $25 plus shipping.
I should note that Father’s Day is coming up fast, and – having read this book – I can tell you that any human male who has survived his “stubborn, stupid, invincible teenager stage” and progressed to the “responsible parenthood stage” of his life will find a kindred soul in the pages of this tome and enjoy it immensely.
Book-plugging time over. Make with the quotes in the commments.
Regarding this contest, “This is out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through this.”
“Moo! That’s the sound your wife made just now, Barack!”
“Son, Obama’s Marxist handlers don’t let him take a crap without a plan.”
“Hey, T-Rex! Put that rocket launcher away and get back to waxing my car. Don’t make me get up off this couch, young dino!”
“Frank, OK, I’m judging your silly contest. Will you now give the IMAO faithful the Fred Thompson Punch The Hippies shirt back? If you don’t, this will get out of control and you’ll be lucky to live through this.”
I ain’t afraid o’ no ghost. (So awesome they made a movie off of it, so I win.)
“Ramius told me he would lay off my small town and listen to my Merle Haggard while he conducted missile drills.”
Muwahahahaha
President Obama said that every day, his daughter asks him “did you plug that hole yet, Daddy?”
And every day, I’m sure he answers “no, but I cussed at the people who know how to do it”.
“Harvey, the demand for Nuke The Moon T-shirts is out of control and I’ll be lucky to live through this. Where are the Russians? I need a plan for my next crap.” -Frank
No, it is not true that the Iron Man and Rambo movies are based on a day in my life when I was 16. It was really more like about 5 hours and there was a much higher body count.
“Suing BP for an industrial accident is like yelling at your kid while the toilet runs over.”
BTW, Fred Thompson does not fly commercially any more. But if you’re in trouble, he’ll still fly you to safety.
When Fred Thompson heard about the daughter asking Barry “if he plugged that hole” he just shuttered and threw up in his mouth a little bit!
(not Fred)
An unauthorized area. LA,Mister Trudeau. It don’t mean s#it.
(Fred)
Yes, that’s what I said about my lastcholesterol test. So, what’s
your problem lieutnant McClane?
Let me remind you of something else. See this? I count two. You got one. When this war’s over, that will amount to something. And, Dick, I hope you get my meaning. Because, by all that’s holy….you better have your ass well-covered. Fred Thompson- Fat Man and Little Boy.
If the contest were best line said to Fred Thompson, winner would be, “Is this because I’m a lesbian?”
Btw, the quote I mentioned above was from Fred’s FB page. 🙂
Heh, ussjimmycarter. But has he milked the cow, yet, Daddy?
Lesbian: “Is this because I’m a lesbian?”
Fred Thompson: “No. Of course not. No.”
Lesbian: “Good. Good.”
Lesbian leaves.
Fred Thompson: “Sucker! This is the part of the job I can get used to.”
* “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Forty-five.”
Poor Fred ….reduced to hawking stuff on late night TV !
6 – 29 – 2002
Preacher: “Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah…”
Fred: “I do.”
“A census taker once tried to test me.
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti”
“Yippie Ki-Yay,
Obama-voter”
“You’re Surrounded! Throw down the Boo Boo and put your hands over your head! “
“I did not say I’d kill ImaNutJob. I said “I’d kill ImaNutJob with my laser vision and feed his entrails to my pigs. Big difference and all the press would be safer if they don’t misquote me again.”