(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
According to modern leftist dogma, the whole reason we went to Iraq is to steal oil. Yet oil’s going for nearly $70 a barrel these days.
Since it’s obvious that he didn’t sell it on the open market, what did W do with all that stolen oil?
My theories:
- Fixed that sticky door hinge on Air Force One.
- Needed supplies for the “Oil-Wrestle Condi” contest.
- Keeps it in his personal refinery so that he has enough gas to drive his International CXT across town if he wants to.
- Dumped it in Boston Harbor as a protest against England’s “Texas Tea Tax”.
- He’s reverse-engineering it to make an army of dinosaurs.
- Sea otters have become tragically non-flammable in recent years. Trend now reversed.
- It’s still sitting in Iraq, because Bush is having trouble getting blood for it.
- Bush hopes that if he keeps enough oil for himself, his monkey-faced daughters will grow up to be as pretty as Elly May.
- It’s even possible that he didn’t steal the oil. Maybe it’s just that there are no barrels left to put the oil in because Bush had them made into steelpan drums which he’s giving away to boost his poll numbers in the Caribbean-American community.
- However, based on recently acquired satellite images, I’d have to say that it’s pretty obvious that he’s just hiding it in and around the White House.
(click to enlarge)
BONUS FUN GAME: How many barrels of George Bush’s stolen oil can you find in this picture?
I’ve got 40…
40 visible.
I concur
It’s a trick question! Those are just decoys. The President is really keeping all the oil here.
[/shameless plug]
Perhaps the oil is being converted into sterno so that Teddy Kennedy has something to hold him over during those long sessions of the senate.
40!!!
MMM… Oil…
41
You always forget to look at the “big picture”. If you look correctly the whole picture is a barrel of oil!!!!!
Mmmm, Condi oil-wrestling….
I only see 40 as well, but my guess is 43, to match W’s Presidential Number!
What do I win?
I million barrels -you guys forgot that most of the oil is underground!
The correct answer is “How many barrels do your feelings tell you are there? Don’t trust your lying eyes! Let your emotions guide you to count the right number of barrels!”
Or possiby 40.
“..reverse-engineering it to make an army of dinosaurs.” – That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Good work, Mr. Giant Invisible Rabbit.
Bubble, it is my firm belief that Harvey is not a giant, invisible rabbit.
He’s just a regular day-to-day pooka that took the form of one.
Pretty darn funny. Do these kooks ever stop.
Ya gotta love em, if ya cant, put em in a barrel and put em…you know…LOL