I checked, and nothing happened over the weekend. Since there was no news to report, a record number of stories about how cute kittens are was reported on.
So, instead of politics, I’m going to talk about the super-string physics theory.
According to that theory, gravity is a bunch of strings that pull you down. Could you just cut the strings then and fly away? No, because they are super. You’d need a sharp piece of kryptonite to cut them, but I can’t get any and I even checked eBay. Superman is strong enough to break them, though, and that’s how he flies.
For more about the super-string theory, read a book. Better yet, just Google it.
I think I should write my own unified physics theory. Actually, I’m too busy for that. Is there like an illegal immigrant Mexican physicist I can pay four bucks and hour to solve the greatest mysteries of science for me? Is Stephen Hawking Mexican? Where are his papers?
Science always has so many questions.
Frank, as you know, string theory merges two revolutionary theories of modern physics — quantum mechanics and general relativity — into a common framework that really can only be understood by men like us and Mexican clones of Stephen Hawking. Quantum mechanics is very good at explaining what happens when you car won’t start in the morning, or like molecules, atoms, and subatomic particles. General relativity steps in when things are very large or massive, on the scale of stars, galaxies, the size of Michael Moore’s ass and the universe itself. Neither theory has an adequate grasp on the physics of things that are both tiny and massive (perhaps only a Supreme Being could explain Michael Moore’s ass), like a black hole (see Michael Moore’s ass) or the beginning of the universe (check out the Bible, located in the fiction section of your local library).
At its most basic, string theory posits that the fundamental ingredients in matter are vibrating loops resembling unimaginably tiny, taut rubber bands. “If you take anything at all, and just keep slicing it into smaller and smaller pieces the theory suggests that the smallest things that you will ultimately come upon are these strings.” “But make sure if you take anything away at all you put it back. I don’t want to have to clean up some galactic sized mess” my wife admonished me. Envisioning the fundamental bits of matter as tiny strings rather than point-like particles gives scientists the theoretical framework to probe the physical properties of things like black holes and Michael Moore’s ass. The theory has begun to sew together our fragmented understanding of the universe. So there you have it in a nut shell Frank. I hope this has been of service to you and your readers. Hey, how come it got so dark? Was that he sun that exploded!!??
Oh yeah, and that’s the way it is.
Walter,
“perhaps only a Supreme Being could explain Michael Moore’s ass”
Sorry to disagree but the existence of Michael Moore’s ass is just one more confirmation that there is no God, or perhaps that God is a rather perverse entity.
By the way can God create something so heavy he can’t lift it. I believe we have our answer.
Frank can you punch porto in his dumb monkey face? Portolet, WTF does your link have to do with string theory, or did I miss the annuncement that ichael Moore’s ass was going to make an appearance?
porto – you’re gay.
Frank – This post caught my eye because I thought you were going to talk about Silly String. When I saw it was about science stuff I kind of lost interest.
Science is hard.
Any idiot (like porto) can talk about politics.
I would say that your version of string theory is wrong, but it makes too darn much sense.
Maybe liberals slept on the floor too much when they were children, and the strings got into their ears and scrambled their brains. Ha – Mexican cloned Stephen Hawking, eat your heart out! I can theory-matize with the best!
Even monkey-faced liberals are ashamed of Porto.
He keeps exposing our agenda to the wingnuts.
We need to keep these things hidden so we can beat Bu$Hitler!
Stop it, Porto.
Bad monkey-face!
Hail Satan,
Monkey Faced Liberal
And my brains were not scrambled by string.
It was a Kitchen-aid stick blender.
Hail Satan,
Monkey Faced Liberal
Actually Stephen Hawkings has proposed an alternative to super string theory. It is super string cheese theory. The basic difference is that the tiney, taut rubber bands are covered with pliable kraft’s cheese which helps bond everything together and keeps the rubber bands from snapping.
and MFL, you ignorant slut. A blender w/o blades could’ve easily scrambled your brains (see Michael Moore’s ass).
Is Stephen Hawking Mexican? Where are his papers?
He is, in fact, Mexican; his actual name is Esteban Oquendo. His papers have been published in many scientific journals, but nobody, including the editors of those journals, can understand them, because they’re written in a hybrid of Mexican and calculus.
Captamerica – Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm…string cheese theory.
Whoever is playing porto do mfl today – You need to up the moonbat quotient. You’ve got their blithering idiot thing down, but you aren’t nearly sanctimonious enough to pass. Try citing a poll of some sort.
mfl, you also need to throw in a bush lied people died and halliburtan…then we will know you are for real.
Trying to incorporate all of that is too much like work.
You know how liberals feel about work.
Maybe I’ll put together a protest about how ussjimmycarter wants to force me to work.
But then, that would be even more work.
I’ll just wait for the next Code Pink protest.
Hail Satan,
Monkey Faced Liberal
Yawn. No news and the MFL du jour is just going through the motions. Oh bother.
You guys must really miss me.
I do not even post a comment on this thread and yet I see 3 fake posts and four other references to me on it.
I am all vaclempt…
Anyway, I DO have some news for you all.
First, just for Homerly — a new poll!
Bush at 37%
I guess that is it for the Bush Bounce. Kinda like a dead cat bounce, isn’t it?
Oh, by the way Frank, still waiting for you to correct your
false statement that “In some polls, Bush is back into the forties in his approval rating.”
As I noted before, there was only (and continues to be) ONE poll which showes Bush’s approval rating at 40% — Fox’s.
Other News:
3 U.S. soliders died in combat in Iraq.
Do you not consider this news Frank?
Or is it news, and you just don’t care if U.S. soliders bleeding and dying in Iraq?
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
You guys must really miss me.
I do not even post a comment on this thread and yet I see 3 fake posts and four other references to me on it.
I am all vaclempt…
Anyway, I DO have some news for you all.
First, just for Homerly — a new poll!
Bush at 37%
I guess that is it for the Bush Bounce. Kinda like a dead cat bounce, isn’t it?
Oh, by the way Frank, still waiting for you to correct your
false statement that “In some polls, Bush is back into the forties in his approval rating.”
As I noted before, there was only (and continues to be) ONE poll which showes Bush’s approval rating at 40% — Fox’s.
Other News:
3 U.S. soliders died in combat in Iraq.
Do you not consider this news Frank?
Or is it news, and you just don’t care if U.S. soliders bleeding and dying in Iraq?
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
Well not quite the weekend but no mention since. Especially since Simon is in the loop.
Rob Smith aka Acidman (www.gutrumbles.com) has passed on.
Indirectly he made this blog what it is, by getting so many people hooked on reading blogs.
I think I got here a year or so back from a trackback from one of his posts.
So give the guy some credit, hey?
Bejus….