Random Thoughts

Dentist says I have a cavity, but he could just be trying to make a profit off of me. Should I get a 2nd opinion from Obama?

It seemed the presidency would give Obama more material for his next autobiography, but he might come off better if he left it out.

Obama really went on about a blue and red pill? Sounds like I missed his most hilarious performance yet.

“If you take the blue pill, you go back to sleep. If you take the red pill, it costs twice as much. I recommend you take the blue pill.”

“Maybe the kid doesn’t need his tonsils out. Maybe he just needs the blue pill. Or the red pill. Maybe a handful of multi-colored pills.”

Why prosecute corruption in New Jersey? What else is there to do there than be corrupt? I lived in New Jersey for nine years growing up. I’ll never be right again.

Dr. Obama: “I don’t like the look of those tonsils. We better treat your allergies with this half-price blue pill.”

So do you think Obama’s press conference last night finally convinced everyone he has no idea what he’s talking about?

I didn’t see the press conference and I don’t know all the facts, but I think it’s fair to say Obama acted stupidly.

Republicans would really be in trouble if Democrats sucked marginally less. Course, if they sucked less, they wouldn’t be Democrats.

So there aren’t disputes about future presidents, we should pass legislation saying people born in Hawaii aren’t American citizens.

It would be awesome if Obama followed up his insult on the cops with a rant about how the “man” is always trying to keep him down. Also, it would be awesome if Obama used the phrase “Speaking truth to power.” That should be the death of it.

The digital age has only increased the the Man’s ability to keep people down. Using advanced software, he can now keep down 28,000 people per minute.

“Can’t you just get attached to someone else’s healthier grandma? Old people are basically interchangeable.”

“We’re out of the costly red pills, but we have lots of inexpensive blue pills. Don’t ask me what they do.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe your cancer thinks you’re growing on it? You two should learn to live in peace.”

Obama is not a natural born citizen! From his mother’s womb he was untimely ripped!

I just woke up in a bathtub full of ice to find my tonsils are gone!

20 Comments

  1. If the Republicans sucked marginally less, they would would look awesome next to the Democrats! But as it stands today, they suck so bad that they suck as bad as the Democrats suck! Mr. Fred Thompson needs to unsuck the Republican party!

  2. Dentist says I have a cavity, but he could just be trying to make a profit off of me. Should I get a 2nd opinion from Obama?

    Sorry, no free healthcare for crackers.

    Obama is not a natural born citizen! From his mother’s womb he was untimely ripped!

    Not quite.

    “Ceti eels incubate their larvae between protective plates that line their backs.”

  3. “One pill makes you larger
    And one pill makes you small
    And the ones that mother gives you
    Don’t do anything at all
    Go ask Alice
    When she’s ten feet tall”
    -The White Rabbit, Jefferson Airplane

  4. One pill, two pill, red pill, blue pill – the revised Dr. Seuss.

    First ‘climate change’, now this. To anyone with a brainstem, it should be obvious that Obama’s agenda is comprised entirely of stuff he’s just pulled out of his azz.

  5. I didn’t see the press conference and I don’t know all the facts, but I think it’s fair to say Obama acted stupidly.

    I didn’t watch it either on purpose, but then I never watch when he’s on since he gives me the creeps. But yeah, Obama acting stupidly is pretty much a given.

    What would be news is him saying something smart, or pro-American, or heck just honest.

  6. Don’t be dissing New Jersey. We are proud of our absolute number one status in all of the important democratic metrics:

    * Corruption. Even those boys down in Louisianna look on the NJ pols with open mouthed admiration, for the sheer cheerful gall they display in stealing our money. They don’t pick your pockets….they flat just take everything you have.

    * Taxes. When I tell people I pay over $2000 a MONTH for property tax…and they think I’m simply meshuggana. But that’s only part of it….our income tax, retail sales taxes, fees, surcharges and transfer fees on every property sale…..make us simply shout…”We’re number ONE!!”

    * Can we talk insurance rates? Auto? Two cars….nice town…and we still pay $3600 a year for two stinking cars? RICKIEEEE!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!

    * Gun permits? Hello! Can you say ham-handed anal probes as the least of the painful background check process?

    Sheesh. Jersey could have been paradise….but it is lost. Gone. Pray for us…we’ll never get out alive. Save yourselves.

  7. “Dentist says I have a cavity, but he could just be trying to make a profit off of me. Should I get a 2nd opinion from Obama?”

    All I have to say is KEEP ONE PROVERBIAL EYE ON YOUR TONSILS! I hear that doctors game the system by stealing them when you’re not looking!

    Oh, and take the red pill.

  8. Dentist says I have a cavity, but he could just be trying to make a profit off of me. Should I get a 2nd opinion from Obama?

    Obama would just yank the tooth out with a pair of rusty pilers.

    I didn’t see the press conference and I don’t know all the facts, but I think it’s fair to say Obama acted stupidly.

    it’s fair to say when doesn’t he act stupidly.

    “We’re out of the costly red pills, but we have lots of inexpensive blue pills. Don’t ask me what they do.”

    the blue pills are Viagra

  9. The unwise, clearly inappropriate remarks made by the Prez concerning the incident in Cambridge, Mass proves he’s been hanging around with Joe the Vice-President waaaay too much. He’s picking up Joe’s bad habit of opening mouth and inserting foot.

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