If you wonder why Science! often doesn’t get the respect it deserves, it’s because of crap like this. Yes, the “Doomsday Clock” set by “scientists” and promoted by the “science” press. Because what do you call translating the complex vagaries of world politics into time on a clock? That’s right: Science!
Anyway, the clock has been on the verge of midnight for forever now (if you’re wondering what happens if it reaches midnight, it’ll make this big alarm and then we’ll probably just hit snooze), but they’ve for the first time moved it back a minute because of Obama. That’s right, we’re all now safer because of dummy big-ears who all terrorists and rogue states feel free to give wedgies to. Iran’s building nuclear weapons unabated but we’re all safer because the president now won’t yell at them, so says “scientists.” Also, the clock doesn’t just keep track of nuclear weapons now but also global climate change warming… or whatever the hell they’re calling it now. That’s just as big a threat because while unicorns’ magic can protect them from radiation, they are defenseless to carbon dioxide. Again — Science!
With the Coakley debacle in Massachusetts, I wonder if the Democrats needs a Doomsday Clock. The Democrat doomsday is when everyone finally gets frustrated with the Democrats, says, “We like freedom and making our own choices, you guys are against that, so you’re out of here,” and then toss the Democrats into the sea. According to scientific polling (Science!), they really seemed to rollback the clock at the end of 2008, but now it’s accelerating towards midnight faster than ever before. Soon, everyone will want to control their own lives, and among the Democrats there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Of course, I don’t see why it has to be a clock. It’s kind of an idiotic thing to pick since its supposed to move in a constant manner but the whole idea of the Doomsday Clock is it moves at different speeds. Instead, it should be a gun with the trigger being pulled with various tensions, and if the tension on the trigger is high enough… BOOM! You get shot in the face! That brings a real sense of foreboding. Actually, I just really want something called a “Doomsday Gun.”
The rate at which the “Pay attention to us, don’t laugh, damn you!” Clock moves backward is directly relational to the amount of money spent by socialist politicians on jet fuel.
SCIENCE!
Doomsday Gun: get yours right here!
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=6303315380/theamericanisraeA/
Watch out – the CIA and /or Mossad does not like Doomsday Guns!
What if the Doomsday Clock reaches 03:00 a.m. and the White House phone rings ?
Science! can’t deal with it.
How about a Doomsday Incumba-cannon that will fire Dems and RINOs back in the general direction of their homestate after they lose their elections?
Doomsday Gun.
Best. Analogy. Ever.
The Lsmestream media is making a big deal about the DD Clock’s hand being moved back one minute. It has happenned before. But only when a Dem is in office.The Science!tists who decide on the clock belong on pmsnbc as hosts. These are the same bozos who had a hand in bringing us Nuclear Winter, which when disproven became Global Warming.
we’re all safer because the president now won’t yell at them
Now, now, TehOne doesn’t need to yell when a sternly-worded letter will do. /sarc 😉
Random
TeriztMan-Made Disaster: “Letter? Letter???!111??! I spit on ze infidel letter!!!!!111!!!Apparently the Doomsday Clock is at the University of Chicago (thank you, wikipedia), which means the east coast is already screwed, what with the time change and all.
Doomsday Clock is at the University of Chicago. Barry O. taught there, coincidence? I think not.
I think it would be more fitting because of Obozo the big dummy president if they set the time on the Doomsday Clock to one minute to midnight.
* Streeeetch * I didn’t sleep through it did I?
Since this is The Funniest End of Civilization Ever, that can only mean one thing.
The end is nigh, repent your sins.
I believe in the Doomsday Potato Cannon.
At ’12:01′ , when an Iranian or Chinese bomb airbursts
with enough of an EMP to end computer usage in America,
all the white flags and ‘concern’ from science!tists
wont be worth a solid B+.
…but we will take solace that we will never read another
word from those gutless Obama-voting surrender monkeys.
The Doomsday Clock, it takes a likin’ and keeps on tickin’………John Cameron Swayze; haunting the Timex factory; Middlebury, Conn.
“Actually, I just really want something called a “Doomsday Gun.””
And that’s why your a conservative.
It’s easy to get a Doomsday Gun. All you have to do is invade England, inventory its contents, and write it all down on a gun.
(Reference link for the unwashed public-schooled masses.)
That’s just a replica Doomsday Clock that they bought from a guy on a Chicago street corner after it “fell off the back of the truck,” which explains why it’s running backwards.
This is hardly the “first time it was moved backwards.” Actually it was moved back a total of 4 times under Republican administrations. And it’s biggest change ever (in either direction) was a 7 minute move backwards in 1991. I’m pretty sure the President then was a Republican and the change was to celebrate the end of the Cold War.