Spying on the Environment

So I guess Obama tasked the CIA to spy on ice. This is great because it’s not like there is anything more important the CIA should be spying on. You may be saying, “Shouldn’t they be spying on terrorists?” No. That’s a matter for law enforcement. But ice doesn’t fall under our judicial system, so it’s the perfect target for the CIA. Did you know that ice has on numerous occasions collaborated with the Russians? And it’s also liquid water in disguise, but why the disguise? That’s why the CIA is so interested in the ice when it melts: If it’s shedding its disguise, it’s probably up to something.

So before you get all uppity about this, know that if we’d had better ice-spying capabilities in the past, the tragedy of the Titanic would never have happened. That’s one less Celine Dion song.

16 Comments

  1. Do we use Navy seals, or Navy walruses?

    With ice such a danger, expect only warm drinks on your flights.

    Tommy has the solution: just have Hillary stare at the icecaps. Melting solved.

    wait a tminute…didn’t that black professor call all honkeys “the ice people”? Now I get it.

  2. So terrorists from a religion of 1.5billion people who want to create a global caliphate by overthrowing all the free government of the world and are willing to use children to suicide bomb… They are left to the people who hand out parking and traffic tickets. But Ice, put the M@#$#ckin CIA on it.

    B+

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