Obama says the reason he hasn’t talked to the CEO of BP yet is because it’s the board of directors that’s in charge. That’s a really stupid excuse, and Allahpundit is right in that it seems like he’s not even trying to come up with decent lies lately. Still, good lying is something Obama has vowed to work on, and as evidence of that, here are the top ten excuses he’s come up with for his poor response on the oil spill crisis.
TOP TEN EXCUSES FROM OBAMA FOR HIS POOR RESPONSE TO THE OIL SPILL
10. Thought it wasn’t a problem because oil and water don’t mix.
9. Since it was British Petroleum in the Gulf of Mexico, he assumed other countries would handle it.
8. He thought the oil leak was just looking for attention and would go away if he ignored it.
7. It looked messy, and he had just bought a new suit.
6. Handling oil spills isn’t mentioned in the Constitution, and Obama only does things specifically mentioned in the Constitution.
5. We never listened to Obama’s pleas of “let me be clear”, and thus he was forced to be very unclear about things.
4. Louisiana did such a great job with the last big disaster that hit them that he assumed they were on top of this one.
3. Birds kinda looked like they enjoyed being covered in oil.
2. He never saw the problem, because his head has been stuck in a bucket for the past fifty days.
And the number one excuse from Obama for his poor response to the oil spill…
Nothing in Obama’s history shows he knows how to do anything useful about anything.
It’s not his country. Let the Americans take care of America’s problems.
Now who did Louisisana vote for again?
It was Bush’s fault.
“Darnit, Frank! I’m a lawyer, not an engineer!”
Black is beautiful, and so is oil. Crackers !!
He has seen Jaws, and fears the oil shark.
He wants the Gulf of Mexico to be the chocolate gulf.
Not enough union jobs in cleaning up oil.
BP’s board of directors is capitalist, and he hates that.
Don’t ask, don’t care.
Obama is a dumbass who could not lead a rat to a garbage dump with a leash and a GPS. The country will probably be better off if he goes to the golf course every day.
Controlling the oil spill is for racist republicans
He likes the rainbows the oil makes on the water
rom said it would vote for me
Can’t I just eat my waffle?
He actually hates black people.
What? Well it was a valid agrument for the last President, wasn’t it?
Michelle told him he couldn’t clean up the gulf until he cleaned up his room first.
Let’s face it, sending a Chicago politician to the gulf will just make it greasier.
Call me cynical, but of the states on the Gulf, only Florida went for Obama.
Maybe he figured the oil wouldn’t reach Florida.
Or rather, maybe someone told him the oil wouldn’t reach there.
After all, he’s only president of the people who voted for him, just ask him.
He thought he had fixed it, when he had blamed those responsible. Apparently he needs to blame them some more, maybe cuss a little bit so they know he means it and get busy.
He ALREADY told us that proper tire inflation is the answer to all fossil fuel problems.
There are no putting greens in the Gulf.
Let’s face it, to a Chicago street dude, era, community organizer, basketball is more important.
He was being sensitive to women about introducing the word “ASS” into his presidential vocabulary. This shows his patience and s e n s i t i v i t y.
But now that he HAS introduced the word “ASS,” his shirt sleeves are rolled-up and his pants have shrunk, signaling he means business (or an enormous political wedgie in his ASS.)
The top excuse from Obama for his poor response to the oil spill:
It’s not what I came to Washington for, and I just can’t be made to care.
Change has come to the gulf states of America.
It was the only way dead teddy would let us put up a windmill
He was busy necking with helen thomas
He thought it was just joey in black face
As birds we can assure you it’s definitely not fun being covered in oil. In fact it’s most inconvenient and uncomfortable and then someone always wants to film you while you get your oil removel bath. How would you like to have someone film you while you take a bath? All together the situation really sucks….Tweety, Donald, Daffy, and Big.
When Hollywood A Listers throw a televised black tie affair to manipulate money from flyover America, he’ll be there…responding his ass off.
* Being a competent leader is “above his pay grade.”
* He had not yet completed his ASS KICKING 101 course from Phoenix University, and as such, cannot legally kick ass until he receives his certificate in the mail. Should be here any day now. You understand, right?
* It’s Malia’s fault, really. She didn’t tell him to plug the hole until like day 40 or something. .
* Obama – When I went down to the gulf the first time to make a speech, the Ocean didn’t yell, “We love you, Barack!” So, naturally, I couldn’t yell, “I love you back.” like it said on my teleprompter. So, uh, screw it.
He came to the Oval Office to do two things: drink beer and kick some ass. But, he’s still got plenty of beer.
The only people capable of fixing the leak is Halliburton, and we’re just not going to go there.
He already apologized to the oil spill so he thought it would leave the USA alone.
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