You may recall a week or so ago when word came out that Cleveland was putting high-tech trash cans out that would rat out people who don’t recycle.
The trash cans have chips inside that can tell when you take the recycle can to the curb … and when you don’t. And that’s the key. When you don’t … and if it thinks you’ve gone too long without taking out recyclables, it will contact the city and tell them. Then they send a trash cop out to look around in your trash.
I don’t think I like the idea. Because, well, what has Cleveland ever done that was a good idea? No, really. Okay, they signed Jim Brown to play football, but that was 53 years ago. And he quit playing football after nine years. Even a bad-ass like Jim Brown couldn’t stomach Cleveland for too long.
Smart trash cans isn’t along the line as sign-Jim-Brown-to-play-football smart. It’s stupid. The trash cans are smart, but the whole idea is stupid.
Really, do you want your trash can calling and telling on you? I bet even Oscar the Grouch wouldn’t want a tattle-tell trash can.
But, maybe, just maybe, we can use that technology for something good instead of narcing on you about recycling.
For instance, we could put those chips in Obama’s golf clubs. Then, if he goes too long without taking the clubs to a golf course, then me might be in Washington trying to screw up the country some more. It could call someone who would send him a free pass to a golf course. As long as Obama is hitting the links, he’s not hitting the economy in the nuts.
There could be chips placed on Democrat Congressmen. When too many get together at one time, you know they’re planning something bad. So, it would call Fox News or Andrew Breitbart and they’d show up with a camera, scaring the Democrat Congressmen back into their little holes in the ground.
They could put one on Rosie O’Donnell. That way, whenever she showed up somewhere, it could call anyone in the area so they could run away.
One on Al Gore could call the police whenever he got near a masseuse.
One on Barney Frank could call the police whenever he went out in public.
One on Roman Polanski could call all the parents of teenage girls so they could hide their daughters.
One on Ron Paul could call everybody whenever he went somewhere. His supporters would all show up, and the rest of us could go somewhere else, confident that we’d be free of them for a few minutes.
So, maybe we could take the technology Cleveland is using to play trash police and put it to some good use.
Gotta love the Ron Paul.
Maybe a chip that goes off every time it sucks to be a Cleveland sports fan? Oh wait, they’d be going off non-stop.
Can’t help but be reminded of THIS!
Best commercial ever!
Ya know a micro-chip on all Libertarians would be useful. It is a darn good idea to know where they are at all times and what they are up to. But since they make up only 0.01% of the population (and we only have 14 confirmed cases of Libertarianism in this state) wouldn’t it be easier to send (or banish) them all to one state or one county? At least they would all have someone to talk to and they wouldn’t feel so un-important.
I think that is the root of their problem. Knowing that you really don’t count (because you are only equal to 1/10 of 1%) has got to hurt.
We got a summons from the Lawn Police this summer because we let our grass get too long.
But at least our trash can didn’t squeal on us (I think).
15 people so far have dropped dead from the heat this summer in Memphis (90+ every day since June 7th, today we finally got a break – only 89), but the grass must be mowed!
Why not just throw the garbage mentioned above out for good and be done with it ?
It won’t be long time before not recycling results in this:
Cleveland thought Madonna belonged in the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame…need I say more?
I’d just swap trash cans with my a**holes neighbor.
RON!
PAUL!
I can’t stand it when somebody’s last name is a first name.
Time for a trash can to be found, knife stuck in it’s side, spray painted “snitch”.
We could plant a chip in Bill Clinton to warn us to keep our daughters away.
There are neighborhoods in many cities where this scheme would just turn-up dead garbage cops – in the trash cans.
Police Departments have had their budget cut across the country and are laying off valuable man power. But yet, the garbage police is in full force. Unfriggin believable.
I believe in universal recycling. It’s non-discriminatory and tolerant. As for Cleveland’s big brother in the bin, I’m a contrary sort (surprise). Henceforth, my recycling bin would go out each week with exactly one small water bottle in it.
Cleveland plans an advertising campaign for this. Why not skip the stupid system and have the advertising campaign instead? Edumicate folks about how much money each ton of recycling earns the city. Encourage folks to use as many recyclables as possible.
[Why won’t they do an advertising campaign only? Think Salem in 1692. What good is it to preach against witchcraft if you can’t hang a few witches in the process. – B.]
Ha, if they tried to do something like that in my town, I’d be ok. Since I moved into my new house, I don’t even trash (let alone recycling) service. I’ve been driving around at night to random big dumpsters and throwing my trash in there.
Also, I imagine if my trash can/recycling bin had a chip in it, that chip would quickly cease to function. “I’m sorry, my trash can must have gotten hit by a car/garbage truck/kid on a skateboard/kid with a baseball bat/dog peeing on it/I took a hammer to it as soon as it showed up.”
@Basil: You’ve got a pernt. As the French say, “Pour encourger les autres.” (To encourage the others, as in by making a brutal example of someone)
It might be fun to remove the RFID from the bin and carry just it out to the curb and back each garbage day. Better still, you could duck tape it to your garbage can and save yourself the trouble. Or mebbe you could just leave the RFID permanently somewhere near the curb in front of your house.
RFID’s can be hacked, but I can’t think of a good way to have fun with duplicated RFID’s. Mebbe you could toss one in with your recycling to see if it continues to respond to the RFID interrogator as the recycling truck rolls down the road.
Good one Mr. Right. I love that commercial, and indeed…it does speak volumes as far as the direction this country is headed.
It would be worth the cost of the fine to take the chip to the nearest railroad crossing and duct-tape it to a passing boxcar.
All my life I’ve never been able to resist the temptation to get inside a bureaucrat’s mind and re-arrange the furniture.
If you’re gonna go ‘high tech’, you should put your money into trash cans…
The biggest blunder since trading Rocky Colovito!
just another “mistake on the lake”!
Whoops, I forgot the positive side of my message.
Forget trash/recycle cans—those chips are worth their weight in aluminum if used to tell who on the left
are just groping for a way to back away from this Administration’s blunders VS those that are merely groping for the life raft!