Stephen Hawking says the human race must move to space in the next 200 years to survive. Ever wonder if that guy has no idea what he’s talking about but everyone just assumes what he says is sciency because he sounds like a robot?
Still, I’m all for us investing in space to try and find another planet to live on. That’s definitely much more exciting than recycling and wind farms all that other stupid save the planet stuff. I figure we just treat this planet as a test run and then we’ll do a much better job with the next one. If I were president, I’d be like, “So, people, do we want to install a bunch of compact fluorescent light bulbs or do we want to build some giant rockets and find a new planet?” I think I know how people are going to answer who aren’t dweebs.
Once we find the new planet, we’ll name it “No Liberals Allowed.” And when the liberals ask to come, we’ll send them instead to some barren rock in space. And they’ll be like, “Who can we tax here and inflict our stupid ideas on?” But they’ll have no one to pester other than the space rocks (those are rocks that are in space).
Now all I need to do is steal Hawking’s voice synthesizer so everyone thinks I’m sciency and will listen to me.