US Air Traffic Control Undergoes Biggest Upgrade Since the Jet Age | Modern Skies Summit
YouTube | 04/28/2026 | The Daily SignalThe U.S. air traffic control system is getting its largest modernization since the jet age.
The Daily Signal’s Abigail Matsuyoshi reports from the Modern Skies Summit in Washington, D.C., where Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy unveiled sweeping upgrades to the Federal Aviation Administration’s aging infrastructure—some of which dates back to the 1960s and 1970s. The project aims to boost safety, reduce outages, and modernize how air traffic controllers manage America’s crowded skies.
Key Upgrades Include:
Secretary of Transportation –
“We know you guys are having hookers & blow up there in the Towers but since no one wants your jobs we have decided to, in the name of safety and air traffic controlling stability, to annoint you Controllers for life…you know, like Supreme Court Judges.”
Key upgrade include:
Never, ever, finishing the upgrade.
Have the controllers start picking the correct week to stop sniffing glue.
…Minnesota will be served by 100% Somali hires…
Wisconsin:
“That’s a damn good idea neighbor.”
… premium pricing for premium routes, with upgrades to “live” controllers at additional cost…
To prove you’re a human, select all the squares containing airplanes.
…”HAL, can we get a vector, please?”
“I’m sorry, Dave, but I just can’t do that right now…”
Stop hiring graduates from any Learing schools.
The bleeps the sweeps and the creeps have all been upgraded to K-Pop demon hunter samples.
US Air Traffic Control Being Revamped. Key Upgrades Include:
Not having to press “1” for English.
Spill proof coffee cups… feel free to buzz the tower.