Stephen Hawking says the human race must move to space in the next 200 years to survive. Ever wonder if that guy has no idea what he’s talking about but everyone just assumes what he says is sciency because he sounds like a robot?
Still, I’m all for us investing in space to try and find another planet to live on. That’s definitely much more exciting than recycling and wind farms all that other stupid save the planet stuff. I figure we just treat this planet as a test run and then we’ll do a much better job with the next one. If I were president, I’d be like, “So, people, do we want to install a bunch of compact fluorescent light bulbs or do we want to build some giant rockets and find a new planet?” I think I know how people are going to answer who aren’t dweebs.
Once we find the new planet, we’ll name it “No Liberals Allowed.” And when the liberals ask to come, we’ll send them instead to some barren rock in space. And they’ll be like, “Who can we tax here and inflict our stupid ideas on?” But they’ll have no one to pester other than the space rocks (those are rocks that are in space).
Now all I need to do is steal Hawking’s voice synthesizer so everyone thinks I’m sciency and will listen to me.
Lets find a planet with no trees and outlaw any welfare programs and make military training and bathing mandatory. That will keep all liberals and their sort away. Of course we can secretly have them those things but we will go around telling everyone otherwise so they will never even want to come visit. A “flyover planet” if you will.
I figure we just treat this planet as a test run and then we’ll do a much better job with the next one.
So in other words, you want to be the aliens from Independence Day?
I’m up for it, just remember to watch out for drunken crop dusters.
Can we leave all the useless Oppressive Democrats behind?
Will this end like Wrath of Khan? Can I be the Russian guy?
I shall leave you as you left me. Marooned for all eternity. With an idiotic ideology! Buried alive……
Shouldn’t it be sciency!
“Earth-that-was got used up. We moved out…”
Great idea. I’ve started packing my bags. I’ll wear my brown coat.
someday, in the not too distant future, a small child (lets call him Billy) will ask,
“Daddy what were the Liberals and why did they all die? Who killed them?”
Bart always knew that this day would come. And he did not look forward to
telling his young son about the Liberals or what happened to them. “Well Billy”,
replied his father, “it’s like this. The Liberals killed little babies while they were
still inside the mommies and they did strange things, sexual things, sick bizarre
perverted things, to each other, so God dropped hurricanes on them and drove
the rest into the sea.”
Then little Billy asked, “Was Mommy a Liberal? Is that why she died?”
“No Son. Your mommy was not a Liberal” answered his sobbing father “She got
sick right after you wer born and she loved you very much…”
But wait-if we leave the Earth, wouldn’t it then be considered a ‘toxic asset’? Here comes Bawney Fwank!
We will name the planet NBA1 for No Buggering Allowed 1. Buggerers will face immediate deportation planet BA1 (Buggering Allowed 1).
Once in awhile if we run across a real dweeb or a RINO, we can also send them to BA1 for a free 1 month all expenses paid vacation! I’m in!
If you’re a really good Mormon man, you get to populate a New Planet, along with your goddess wife, in the hereafter.The angel Moron told me so.
Why not just pack the rockets with Liberals and fire it into the sun?
This new planet… Bring it C L O S E R so I may J O I N with it. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
Hawking seemed to have some urgency about the idea of finding another planet real soon. He must think the democrats are going to stay in power.
I kinda like it here. How ’bout we stay. We’ll let Science Hawkings be the new Leif Eriksonn, and he’ll lead liberals off to New Greenland. It doesn’t matter where — the sun, moon, deep space, uranus, Rigel 12 — any destination will work once they’re aboard the big shiny rocket.
A free new planet? One without liberals and idiots and Manbearpig? Yesssssssssssss
We can send the libbies to the planets on Lost In
space. Deserts and gay aliens. Or it seemed Wally Cox played all of the aliens.
Oh, and dual computer failures at work and home bite.
OK I’ll let SG1 at StarGate command know that you are looking
for an inhabitable world. But be warned there are worse things
than Liberals out there.
Klingons, the Ori, Ferengii, and those Snakehead Ghould things.
Wouldn’t it be easier to cut off their supply of children? I mean
if the Libs have no kids to turn (or hatch) into Liberal Larvae,
thats the pre-voting age Lib that hasn’t been activated yet, the
Libs would probably die out in about twenty years.
You fellas go on ahead and find a nice planet. I’ll stay here and take care of the women.
Stay here, cat! The robots will eventually – inevitably – take over and they will find no purpose for your kind.
No one has a “use” for cats. Yet, here we are.
I’ll go, even if I have to wear a red shirt!
I’d make sure there was always at least 2 red shirts in the landing party, and politely let the other guy go first, of course. (I’m daring, not stupid.)
It’s too cold, it’s too hot, it’s unimaginably distant.
Space is a hostile, inhospitable place to live.
In 2006 astronomers discovered a mega-supernova that occurred a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away that, had it occurred anywhere in our galaxy, would have gamma sterilized all life on earth.
Now, out of billions of years, billions of stars, etc., these mega-supernovae likely occurred before humans were looking for them maybe someday a SETI listener will pick up an ET message.
“Greetings! To anyone listening, here is the secret to immortality an… Say! What’s that bright light? Arrrrrrgh!”
Just look at the score:
Earth- so life friendly that the place is covered with creatures great and small.
Space- zero life, other than here.
Sure you can imagine that out of the teeming billions of billions of galaxies of stars that somewhere out there there must be life, really, though, that’s as scientific as other thought experiments that “proved” for thousands of years that heavier objects fall faster than lighter ones.
What a stupid idea that we must leave Earth to survive,
somebody spent too much time watching WALL-E, and algore agitprop.
I love the idea of manned spaceflight and I hope we are not quitting our exploration, but
“the human race must move to space in the next 200 years to survive” is nuts.
Thanks for clarifying that “space rocks” definition I was having trouble with that one.
So, how long have you been liberals?
Guess I won’t be losing any sleep over this one. Like I give a crap what will happen in 200 years.
As for what to do with the liberals, why not use them to infest Uranus?
I find it fascinating that someone who in centuries past would not have made it to their 1st months birthday is dissing the people and planet that not only helped him to live but continues to find ways to make his existence easier. Maybe instead of “thinking deep thoughts” he should give some thought to how to make things actually better for those of us who live on this planet. Maybe instead of this super intelligent person buying into to Global Warming hoax he should do his own research, open his mind to new possibilities and stop bad mouthing the planet and those of us who refuse to except less than what our parents had.
It is a sad fact that very intelligent people think themselves above faith. They rely on the arm of the flesh and in the end that is all they are left with. It is a sad and bitter thing,
Oh and I want to live on Vulcan. Imagine the chaos my Irish temper could cause. Logic my great aunts bussle. It makes me giggle just to thing about it.