The following program is brought to you with limited commercial interruption by IMAO Shirts. When you want IMAO-wear to cover your upper torso, choose IMAO Shirts.
Hi! I’m Guy Smiley, and welcome to America’s favorite game show…
Which One’s Crazier?
Let’s welcome today’s contestants…
He’s from Boise, Idaho, and enjoys poking fun at liberals and eating nachos. Welcome Frank J.
Frank, what do you do for a living?
I punch hippies in their stupid monkey faces. You look like a hippie. Come here, and I’ll punch you!
Our next contestant…
All the way from Wisconsin, he likes to play with money. Welcome Harvey.
Harvey, where in Wisconsin can we find you?
You can find me in your nightmares, Guy.
And, finally…
Our third contestant likes sleeping late and eating. From Columbus, Georgia, welcome Basil.
Where do you work, Basil?
You call what I do work? You’re an idiot and need to be beat with a stick. C’mere. Let me get ‘hold to ya.
Okay, then. Great. Let’s get started playing Which One’s Crazier?
Which one’s crazier? A bedbug? Or a shithouse rat? Harvey?
A shithouse rat.
That is correct!
Next question: which one’s crazier? A box of frogs? Or a bag of cats? Basil?
A bag of cats, Guy.
I’m sorry, you didn’t give your answer in the form of a question. No points for you.
Let’s go to the next question. Which one’s crazier? A loon? Or a coot? Frank?
A loony coot.
That’s absolutely right!
Okay, then. Which one’s crazier? A sprayed roach? Or a sack of weasels. Basil?
Um. A, um… What is a sack of weasels?
You didn’t say how big of a sack. So, sorry. No points for you.
Next, which one’s crazier? A pair of waltzing mice? Or an acre of snakes? Harvey?
A pair of waltzing mice, of course.
Of course it is.
Which one’s crazier? A soup sandwich? Or a football bat? Frank?
A football sandwich.
Right again!
Continuing with the game now: Which one’s crazier? A fruitcake? Or a peach orchard boar? Basil?
A fruitcake?
No, sorry. A fruitcake is nutty, not crazy.
Which one’s crazier? Charlie Sheen? Or Tom Cruise? Harvey?
Tom Cruise.
Right again, Harvey. Charlie Sheen is spending his own money on drugs and hookers. I mean, who wouldn’t? Except Tom Cruise.
Next question. Which one’s crazier? Harold Camping followers? Or the Casey Anthony jury? Frank?
The Casey Anthony jury.
Again, that is correct. As crazy as Camping and his crew are, they didn’t turn a killer loose. That’s more points on the board for you.
Let’s see … our next question … which one’s crazier? Kim Jong Il? Or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Basil?
Oh, I’ve been to the DMZ. Them folks is crazy. The answer is Kim Jong Il.
We can only give you half credit for that answer, Basil. You see, they take turns being crazier than each other. But, at least, you’re on the board.
Let’s go back to the questions now. Which one’s crazier? A Truther? Or a Birther? Harvey?
A Truther is crazier than a Birther, Guy.
That’s right.
We have time for one more question. Which one’s crazier? A Ron Paul supporter? Or a Barack Obama voter? Frank?
An Obama voter.
That’s right! Actually voted for Barack Obama is crazier than supporting Ron Paul. And it looks like we’re out of time.
We have a tie between Harvey and Frank. On tomorrow’s program, we’ll break that tie with a sudden death playoff.
That’s next time on … Which One’s Crazier?
This is Guy Smiley saying, “This is Guy Smiley.” So long, everybody!
Which one’s crazier? Barack Obama for thinking he can get reelected? Or any Republican candidate for wanting to be President during our nation’s upcoming default?
Or me for being up at 04:00 in the morning?
It’s you, Jimmy. The time and other choices are irrelevant.
BTW: I’m a cat!
I’m beginning to thing you actually ARE a cat!
Would you like some crab in lieu of tuna (in lieu of flowers)?
Crab? No thank you. Tuna may be able to take the place of flowers – but nothing can takes the place of tuna.
I’m sorry to hear that. Today’s special is Crab
Louiein Lieuie.Jimmy honey, go to bed. Sleep deprivation does bad things to your body, mind and spirit.
Which is stupider, Colorado HRS for demanding ALL day care centers have dolls in three races? or the citizens of Colorado that continue to put up with this nonsense?
Please, help yourself to my portion and don’t feel like you’re being shellfish.
Which ones crazier Jimmy or DamnCat? 🙂
Gosh, it’s nice to see you commenting around here, seanmahairmagrandmamamama. 🙂
Answer: DamnCat. He’s turning down crab!! (The cat’s SICK!)
I’m sorry, you didn’t give your answer in the form of a question. No points for you.
BTW I’ll take his portion if you don’t want it Jimmy
Ok, I’ll trade you crab for koolaid. Wait. That’s just not right.
See that’s actually a common miss conception I actually don’t have any koolaid I just get paid to break through walls and say “Oh Yeah”
Misconception should be one word; pardon my commie spelling
I feel bad for Basil. At least he was on the board, but I bet he’d still like to get ‘hold to Guy.
Basil, I’d demand a recount if I was you. 🙂
I just came here for some relief after perusing craziness beyond comprehension. This isn’t bat-snot crazy; it’s pterodactyl-snot crazy:
commondreams.org
It’s the news source to which my brother subscribes. In the news today:
“Bicycling Is More Patriotic than Flag Waving”
“Paul Ryan Is a Hypocrite because He Went to Parties”
“Tax the Rich: Problem Solved”
It is sadly lacking in articles about war mongerer Obama. Bush mongerer was a much more popular character.
Dearest Burma,
Those are the sites your mother warned you about. Don’t go there they’ll cause blindness and are gateway blogs to things like Huffpo and Washpoo and the NYT.
For goodness sake “JUST SAY NYET”. They understand Russian better than English on those kind of blogs, Peggy says so. She also says you can’t redeem you points for money Bwhahahhahahhahhaha.
That was a picture of Harvey? I thought it was the dad from Family Ties.
Burma, you made me curious so I went to check out the site you referenced and read the post; ‘Tax the Rich: Problem Solved.’ The author’s name is Carl Gibson, the profile of the author that’s at the end of that particular post is as follows….Carl Gibson is the co-founder of US Uncut, a grassroots movement to stop budget cuts by getting corporations to pay their fair share. He lives in Jackson, Mississippi where, among other things he works as a bouncer at the Club Bottoms Up.
@zzyzx: Had I a mouth full of coffee, I would now need a new laptop.