Here is another post for more reminiscing over the past nine years and more dollar paying. Thanks to all those who have already paid a dollar… and special thanks to those who paid more than that. You can just multiply the amount you paid me by nine and that how many years you’re now good for. If you haven’t paid me the dollar yet for making you laugh, just click on the PayPal link on the sidebar. You don’t want to be thief; if the police find out, they’ll probably just murder you. They really hate humor thieves.
Man, I have written quite a lot over these nine years and probably have forgotten most of it. I’m thinking I should add a “take me to a random page” button. Would be kinda complicated since there are actually two sets of IMAO posts (those done on MoveableType and those done on WordPress), but I’m like a super smart programmer, so I could probably figure it out if I wanted to.
Anyway, entertain me by putting more funny stuff I wrote in the comments! And thanks for supporting IMAO all these years!
There’s a secret dollar in this comment.
$
Darnit.
OK let’s see…feed the poor…check. Clothe the naked…check. Visit the imprisoned…check. Comfort the sick…check. Give Frank a dollar…Check. Wow got all the important things done, guess I’ll write a sermon or something for tomorrow. Maybe I’ll just read one of those old post instead.
Hmmm…hoe the potatoes…check. Water the beans…check. Cry at the decimated strawberries again…check. Kill the raccoon…check. Shoot the birds trying to eat the pie cherries…check. Drink a beer on a sunny afternoon…check.
Wish Frank, Sarah and Buttercup all the best… work in progress.
(Kiss my buns, ussjimmycarter! Check!)
If I write pithy comments to entertain you…. then you’d owe me a dollar. I don’t want to be responsible for increasing the financial burden on you or your family.
Congratulations, Frank.
Here’s a dollar’s worth of
copywritedcopywroughtum, copywright protected musicespecially
borrowedstolen from the internets for this auspicious occasion.My beans failed so miserably, Jimmy, that I went ahead and sprayed them and the weeds surrounding them with the Death Spray this afternoon. I hate failure to germinate. Failure will be punished.
Marko – both my bush beans and pole beans are finally taking off! And squash. (Woo hoo!). I’m overflowing with broccoli and beets! Bumper boysenberry crop. Apples growing fast. 10 months of rain and now sun. That’ll do it.
Hey aren’t there any gardeners out there?
I’m of the “throw food in the ‘garden’ and see what develops” variety. So far, I’ve got a peach tree, an apple tree, a grape vine, and some strawberries, all of which are ravaged by birds, squirrels, and insects before I even wake up. It’s like they never sleep or maybe they tag-team it.
The birds eat the seeds off of my strawberries. THE SEEDS! I honestly wouldn’t feel so angry with them if they would just enjoy the whole ripe fruit rather than a few bites out of each one. I’ve started yelling at them to wait until things are ripe when it’s so much more delicious. I know they hear me, but they aren’t listening. They are like little children.
So, what’s with the garden stuff? If I have a hankerin’ for some beans or lettuce or a tomato, I go to the grocery store and buy one. Simple, clean and I’m not out chasing critters out of my garden 24X7.
As for “kiss my buns” that would be awkward with your lips stuck to Frank J’s backside already, Jimmy!
My fav IMAO’s have been In My World and AquaMan! The In My World with Bush and the Hooded Carl Rove were priceless along with the Rumsfeld Strangler and Buck the Marine!
Q. What’s the difference between a porcupine and a limousine with Barack Obama, Harry Reid, and Eric Holder inside?
A. The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
It’s been a great nine years, Frank. I’ve been here for nearly all of it (arrived shortly after the famous “puppy-blender” post). Here’s to nine more.
Hard to believe… I remember stumbling upon this website back in 2003. I was working in a radio room at a military advisory group in south America. I don’t even think “blogging” was a word back then. I thought the Bush-Cheney stories were your best work. The one where they vandalized the car was outrageous!
You’re a funny, funny man, Frank J. Congratulations on the staying power!
9 years? Where have I been? Are there Cliff’s Notes for the first 8?
This blog is at the top of my blog list, but I read it last, saving the humor to keep me from getting pissed off.
Congrats!
I remember when I first found this website, back in 1958. It was black and white back then, with no pictures, but no one seemed to mind. I was surfing the web one day, looking for some information about this new hot chick named Donna Reed who was gonna get her own television show. Instead, I clicked on a banner ad – I’d never seen a banner ad before – and it took me to this site, where I read a post by Frank J about how Vice President Richard Nixon was unelectable, and how Nelson Rockefeller seemed like a “nice guy” who should be the Republican candidate for 1960 based on his fine work with the New York State Council On The Arts. He would constantly rail that people should stop spamming “Barry Goldwater!!!1!!11!!!!” on his website because they were all crazy. You really never knew what you were going to get back then: One day Frank J would be so happily rejoicing about seeing the movie “Gigi” and then next he’d be tearfully posting about how unfair it was that Elvis had to serve in the army “just like regular people.” I read it for a couple months, but then when Visa and American Express both introduced credit cards that year suddenly the site became unbearable, with Frank constantly hawking T-shirts – who the hell had 50-cents for an IMAO T-shirt? Not me. So, I left for a while and years later was surprised to find the site was still up and running and not much had changed.
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Funny stuff: Evil Scary Monkey!!!
Um… how exactly are you like a super smart programmer? Is it the spectacles? Or perhaps you mean programming universal remotes? Or could you mean web pa…*looks at IMAO*…how exactly are you like a super smart programmer?
Jimmy, we are beginning the attack of the overproducing zuccini here. Tomatoes are producing, but not ripe yet. cukes soon , too. I love to grow green beans, but got tired of growing them for rabbits and bugs.
I feel I should let everyone know that the rifle I used to kill that cat was one I bought from a Mexican in El Paso. He said he got it from a man in an ATF jacket. Say thanks to Obama for me, guys!
Wow. It’s your ninth anniversary already. It seems like just yesterday you had your last anniversary.
Before I started reading the erudite opinions of Frank J., Basil and Harvey, I had little hope that the United States would ever crawl from its mire, and I was ever bitter for it. Now, I am not so much bitter.
My solution to feeling blue about America is to read Band of Brothers. Works every time.
I found it!
http://www.imao.us/index.php/2008/09/in-my-world-sarah-palin-in-noisy-neighbors/
How’s that line from Robocop go? “I’d buy That for a dollar!”
Oh I’m still bitter. A bitter God fearing, gun clinging, country love’n American. I just laugh more often (and weep less). So thanks Harvey, Basil and Frank (and Princess Buttercup).
So, this is your “I’m qitting” post?
A time to celebrate nine years of missle launching dinosaurs, Dick Cheny Death Squads, great humor, and T-shirts. I wonder what the the nest nine years will bring with IMAO… version Buttercup.
I’ve been reading and listening to IMAO since before FrankJ found his poster girl. It has been fun following them all these years and having a ready supply of humor to turn to when I feel like a laugh.
I liked the IMAO Podcasts and SarahK’s, “Yeeee Ha!” Harvey’s fun facts of our 50 (or is it 57) States. The entire FrankJ online humor collection.
Thanks for the humor! Keep it up, IMAO, your country needs you!!