It’s been a long day. I know you’re looking for some funneh, but we’re going to need your help with that. What’s on your mind? What links do you have that you’d like to share? Know any good jokes?
The floor is yours, because it’s Thursday Night Open Thread.
Who wants to start?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Impatient cow.
Impa-MOO!
Hey, speaking of thermodynamics (as per an earlier discussion) one of my thermo professors said that Hell is isothermal because if it wasn’t you could build a heat pump and cool part of it off.
So the expression, “Until Hell freezes over” has some technical merit? Who knew?
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you”, and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting “Oh, my God!”
Teresa sounds like a fun girl.
She may have been trying to focus on the question of whether souls have mass or not when she kept telling you “Weight. Weight!”
I’ve met a lot of Teresas.
pV=nRT
where p is social pressure
V is volume {please keep it down}
n is the number of NSA moles listening {see “V”}
R is the universal gas constant {I trust I don’t have to elaborate}
T is Teresa
Ergo, it follows that
⌡s e^x dx = se^x + c
where c ≡ that nagging constant
What I want to know is how God can exist inside a Universe with positive Entropy.
The ninth circle of hell is cold — does that change the equation?
The equation has been changed to protect the innocent.