… Kidnap Mike Bloomberg, take over all his assets, keep up the Bloomberg ad buys so that no one suspects he’s missing, then make a series of untraceable money transfers until you have $1,000,000 to jumpstart your own ad campaign…
Toss hundreds of pairs of shoes over power lines throughout the country while bribing all the radio stations in those areas to blast “Old Shoe” over the airwaves 24-7…
(For those of you who didn’t follow the Beatles, but like slide guitar and drum, it’s worth clicking on the audio link.)
♩
I got no love for the Right
But the Right is only half of what’s wrong.
I want a short-term loan
But it always turns out twice as long!
Now I’m stepping out this old red Jew
Man, I’m in love with you!
It’s not 2016, they don’t have the fix in,
I’m telling you.
♩
Another pick-me-up
For Hillary, after they dragged her down
Bernie, you’ve got no style, but you’re
Outpacing every un-Communist clown.
God, help me escape from this zoo!
Man, I’m in debt to the U.
I’m so glad you came here, it won’t be the same now
If I’m with you.
♩♩
If I grow up I’ll be a Clinger
Wear a ring, I won’t malinger
Won’t worry what they on The View say
I’ll live and love and maybe someday
Who knows, baby, you may come for me . . .
♩♩
[Bernie:] “It may be the year to be imperfect
Your vote is something I want, Reject.
Things are changing faster than the weather —
Which reminds me — it’ll be cold in November —-
Who knows, babies, you may discard me!
“I want that vote of yours
To miss that vote is something I’d hate!
I’ve put what’s left of my heart
Into making sure America’s not great!”
♩
For your sweet-talk, Pops, I’m in the queue
Old man, I’m in love with you!
I’m so glad you came here, it won’t be the same now
We’re all -insky for you
It’s not 2016, now, it won’t be the same now:
We know about you.
Game changer! Warren just apologized for the Little Big Horn, and Biden just changed his slogan to All Malarkey. Now if either selects Stacey Abrams as VP . . .
Put FrnakJ on the ticket as VPOTUS!
… A massive electrical storm, a mountain castle, and various unrelated parts should do it…
…bikini car wash!
… Charisma transplants…
… Kidnap Mike Bloomberg, take over all his assets, keep up the Bloomberg ad buys so that no one suspects he’s missing, then make a series of untraceable money transfers until you have $1,000,000 to jumpstart your own ad campaign…
Build a giant wooden badger, using Alien technology…
…but I’m not sayin’ that.
Kill the first born male child in every household.
Too Jewish
Maybe work up a Number 6 on the rest of the candidates?
They’d enjoy it too much.
Especially the Number 6 Dance.
Gentlemen please, rest your sphincters.
Tell Hillary that Bernie, Bloomie, Buttie and Klobie all have information that might lead to her incarceration.
I like it! But that would still put them in 4th and 5th behind Gabbard and two random Democrats who have already dropped out.
Join together to form the Biden/Warren ticket. That gets me excited and ready to vote for Trump.
….cattle prod
I was going to go with Tazer, but whatever works…
Invoke the memory of Randolph Scott
Biden would invoke Randolph Scott’s name, but describe an Alan Ladd movie.
…final debate? Jello wrestling.
Oh Hell to the NO.
Promise free sh*t…. Oh wait, All the Democrats have already done that.
Burnish their native American cred by giving people Indian names. For example, “Dog-faced Pony Soldier.”
Oh, wait…
It’s so crazy, it just might work!
“He’s so crazy, it just might work!”
There. FIFY.
Trace down the goal of Juan Ponce de Leon, The Fountain of Youth!
Call in Dr. Fronkensteen as an adviser.
They already have the Abby Normal brains.
They could use some new slogans to help energize their campaigns. ’54-40-Or Fight’ or ‘Tippecanoe and Tyler Too’ should connect with this generation!
A chicken in every pot!
Or is that, pot for every chicken?
Toss hundreds of pairs of shoes over power lines throughout the country while bribing all the radio stations in those areas to blast “Old Shoe” over the airwaves 24-7…
Oh, and start a war with Albania.
Or George Harrison’s “Old Brown Shoe” — an homage to Bernie:
(For those of you who didn’t follow the Beatles, but like slide guitar and drum, it’s worth clicking on the audio link.)
♩
Game changer! Warren just apologized for the Little Big Horn, and Biden just changed his slogan to All Malarkey. Now if either selects Stacey Abrams as VP . . .
Secretly put some Habanero sauce in the Polident.
Yow!
What could Biden and/or Warren do to revive their campaigns?
Hopefully nothing.
What could Biden and/or Warren do to revive their campaigns?
Put four million volts through ’em!
What could Biden and/or Warren do to revive their campaigns?
Start posting some entries at IMAO’s SLotD.
What could Biden and/or Warren do to revive their campaigns?
Eviscerate a live badger on TV using a rusty spoon.
What could Biden and/or Warren do to revive their campaigns?
Stop being nuts?
Let’s try to keep the suggestions within the realm of the possible. Besides, nuts is working really well for Bernie these days.
Integrate more cat videos into their campaign ads.
…One word: Sex Tape!
Let it slip that KILL WHITEY plan has Biden and Warren as the last two on the list.
Learn to speak jive.
“Get my hands on that Infinity Stone and hope I get lucky.”
Sleepovers on Joe’s campaign bus.
Announce possible cures and start reversing the Cryogenic freezing…
…but blame global warming if it fails.