It is the night
My body’s weak
I’m on the run
No time for sleep
I’ve got to ride
Ride like the wind
To be free again
And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind
I exert my human right to healthcare. A team of physicians magically appears and transports me to a medical facility where my memory is restored, my income gap is eliminated, and I’m freed from any obligation to actually produce something of value. Years later I’m approached by a man in sunglasses with a different color pill in each of his hands…
I would enjoy letting the sun shine where the sun don’t normally shine. Then I would play a fun game of Bear Grylls for a day or two while deciding whether to seek my formal life again. Ultimately I would decide it is the “right” thing to do, and I would head back civilization for fear and guilt that a higher being would judge me (He would be understanding about the sun part).
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Make note to buy more of that brand of Tequila.
And a rare double Harvey in a single thread.
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Head down hill to find a water source and then follow it to civilization?
Check to make sure I still have both kidneys.
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Call your campaign handlers to pick you up and take you back to your basement.
Harvey Award!
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Blame White supremacy.
….I realize that since no one is around to hear me…. that I wasn’t snoring.
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Check for bear sign.
I think you mean “beer signs”
Whatever.
… I decide I’m not going to sing the, “I’m a Lumberjack and I’m OK” song anymore when I go out drinking.
The Hedgehog song!
or the ever popular “A wizard’s staff has a knob on the end”
It is the night
My body’s weak
I’m on the run
No time for sleep
I’ve got to ride
Ride like the wind
To be free again
And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind
Well, If we’re going to sing about it….
The darkness must go down the river of nights dreaming
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
Into my life, into my life…
Plant my confederate flag and then skedaddle.
I check myself for blood and remnants of someone else’s flesh… and then I howl…
I am Groot
You’re the mayor of Chicago??
I exert my human right to healthcare. A team of physicians magically appears and transports me to a medical facility where my memory is restored, my income gap is eliminated, and I’m freed from any obligation to actually produce something of value. Years later I’m approached by a man in sunglasses with a different color pill in each of his hands…
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Hit the snooze button.
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Continue my journey to the Emerald City.
I knew that stupid GPS was leading me astray!!!!!
recalculating…
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Look for my pants.
I would check for my ID – if my name is Rico, someone is gonna pay!
Yell: “DIANE” really loud.
Tell Dip to get his butt over here.
Wonder which Fraternity I’ve been inducted to.
Resolve not to pay the ransom.
Say something sane and logical out loud. This will attract the attention of the woke brigades, who will immediately come find me.
Listen intensely for banjo music.
Reach for my knife, check my junk, pray that they’re both there. But the last two probably in the reverse order.
Using all of my survival knowledge, check the sides of nearby trees for Kate Moss, or any other supermodels.
If I’m naked, look for Veeshir’s pants.
…and hope he’s wearing them.
He’d better hope I’m not wearing them if he wants to wear them.
Pro-tip, the gun attached is loaded.
So does that mean you’re glad to see me?
Pull out a deck of cards and deal a hand of solitaire. In less than 90 seconds someone will wander by and point out that you missed a move.
I’d continue looking for my golf ball that I must’ve driven in here somehow.
I would enjoy letting the sun shine where the sun don’t normally shine. Then I would play a fun game of Bear Grylls for a day or two while deciding whether to seek my formal life again. Ultimately I would decide it is the “right” thing to do, and I would head back civilization for fear and guilt that a higher being would judge me (He would be understanding about the sun part).
Save the game.
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Go back to sleep.
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Nothing! It’s not my fault I’m here, this is all the fault of Donald Trump!
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Check to see if there’s anything left in my bottle of MD 20-20.
I have some Thunderbird and a little Boone’s Farm left it you’re out.
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
…Pee or be like a bear and …. (you know that thing)
…Realize 2 horrible truths:
1- Bill Cosby got early parole
and
2- Prison has changed him.
Finish taking [a dump]. Priorities ya know?
Edited for PG-13 standards
You wake up in the middle of the woods with no memory of how you got there. What do you do?
Ask if my name is Biden and is Hillary behind me?