Evil Glenn – NASA Director
(A Filthy Lie)
Rumor has it that Glenn Reynolds has been tapped by NASA to improve our currently-stumbling space program.
His first priority: making sure astronauts don’t starve to death if they get stuck in orbit pulling flattened spacemonkeys and other debris off the nose of the shuttle.
Now, we’re all well aware of Glenn’s preferred energy drink, but the problem is that normal blenders require gravity to keep the puppy in contact with the whirling blades. In a low-gravity environment, the resulting product comes out as a hideous, lumpy mess, not unlike Helen Thomas’s face.
(artist’s conception of low gravity dog-blending with conventional blender)
To correct this problem, Glenn has invented the zero-gravity puppy blender, as pictured in the extended entry…
360 degrees of blade-contact in 3 dimensions ensure that every puppy smoothie is extra smooth.
Darn clever fellow, that Reynolds.
First…heehee. Hey, Frank, are you still anti-the first thing?? Sorry…
Point of Grammar: It is Helen Thomas’ face, not Helen Thomas’s face. The “s” is redundant when indicating possession in words already ending in “s”.
Harvey, do we have to do another grammer lesson? Frank is going to revoke your posting rights and give them all to Spacemonkey since all he does is misspell everything.
Moto – Sure, I’ll pick nits with you. Since “Thomas”, in this case is sigular possessive, it gets “‘s”, even though it ends in “s”.
Brief research shows that this point of grammar is still contentious. If you can cite an authoritative source, I’ll defer to it.
Silly Glenn… just take a regular old blender, find a top that attaches securely, and put a string on it. Turn it on and swing it about your head, using centrifugal force to keep the puppy bits toward the blades.
Lawyers have always gotta make stufff so complicated.
Please warn us before you post scary pictures on this blog! Almost had a heart attack this morning! Thanks! NOT!!!