“I’m the new president of CNN and I promise to find someone to hate more than Trump. GET YOUR POPCORN READY!..(or you may use bacon instead like I will). I know everything they is to know about bacon. There’s BLT’s, bacon cheeseburgers, bacon salad, bacon and rice, bacon wrapped shrimp or jalapeños…it’s endless.
“Could you point me to the Juicing Room, please?”
“I have such big news, I’m bursting!”
Meet Hank Johnson, career Hollywood understudy and stunt man, in full body makeup right before the scene in that Alien movie…..
Mr. Creosote’s nephew arrives at his 3rd buffet this morning.
I was thinking Mr. Creosote’s lawyer. I think he has a great case, and should be able to walk away with more money than a mint.
How are you feeling today sir?
Better.
Better?
Better bring a bucket…….
What is your position on wafer thin mints?
better than my “waa-fer thin” joke. I’m glad I looked.
When is your baby due, sir?
Looks like the Senator is fed up with the incessant questioning.
It is definitely eating at him.
“I’m the new president of CNN and I promise to find someone to hate more than Trump. GET YOUR POPCORN READY!..(or you may use bacon instead like I will). I know everything they is to know about bacon. There’s BLT’s, bacon cheeseburgers, bacon salad, bacon and rice, bacon wrapped shrimp or jalapeños…it’s endless.
Sure, you can admire the snazzy tie, but behind the pretty facade overworked and underappreciated buttons are suffering.
I ate Jerry Nadler.
Back in the day, that would’ve been a Herculean feat.
Today I’m announcing that I’m too sexy for my pants.
And don’t skimp on the gravy
“And yooz photographers better not be using dat lens that makes Big Tony look fat or else yooz be sleepin’ wit da fishes!”
Meet the man who has swallowed all the Democrats’ lies.
“I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. ”
“You ate it Ralph.”
Get out of here… it’s gonna blow!
Leaked footage from the new Lifetime documentary about Harvey Wienstien, told from the first person POV of an aspiring actress.
Ladies and Gentlemen…I am here to announce that the Greta Thunberg cattle plug to save our planet from cow farts works..I tried it myself..
Pronouns
He/Him/Helium
I just never gave a sh*t
Gasbag meets gas-sniffers… film at 11