FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT
DATE 03-14-2022 01:18:25:06
I pushed it. No. No. I it’s not going. Huh? The green one? Awe man. Now it’s blinking. Is it supposed to blink? JILL !! THROW THIS DAMN VOICE MEMO THING IN THE TRASH AND BRING A PEN AND PAPER.
If a lie does more damage than the truth, lie. Then lie about the lie. Insult people’s mothers more.
If you want to be more trusted with our key demographic, transition to a woman, or create a new gender. Psisgenderer, or something equally hard to pin down.
Make your new catchphrase: A rascals gonna rascal if he don’t get his pudding, followed with a big wink.
No need to mouth the words “This tape will self destruct” at the end of briefings.
When asked about the “high” gas prices, answer that Americans need to keep a more historic perspective on things. I mean, in two years they’ll all be wishing for $5 a gallon gasoline.
Jen…please be aware that voices carry and microphones can pick you up….yesterday saying…” well sh*t..it ‘s showtime already…here..hold my beer” does not show us in a positive light and is not a good way to enter…
…Sweetie, are you sure you are going to be able to talk about the latest variant? It’s called the Carrot Top Variant.
… quit saying you’ll circle back to that after the President figures out how to escape his hard lid…
… when accused of stretching the truth, don’t snicker and say, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!”
Enjoy CNN. You will blend with the other liars, and your current press room has a larger audience.
The sixth edition of the Bidenese to English translator’s guide rev 3:
Let’s go Brandon = It’s Putin’s fault.
Eenie Meanie, Chili beanie,
The spirits are about to speak.
Are they woke spirits?
…you Psucky
Memorandum
From: Your Name
Date: Seduction overlook, tonight before the early bird. (don’t tell dr sour puss)
Re: Press briefing room
Hey hot stuff, those people in the chairs. Stop telling them I didn’t mean what I said when I said the thing.
If you are going to cross your fingers, keep your hands behind your back.
Your big brother, “Raggedy Andy” called. Can you do lunch?
Roses are red
So is yer head
What is the diff?
It’s all in the sniff.
Childs Play 7 “The CircleBack of Chucky” is casting. Are you available?
MEMORANDUM
FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT
DATE 03-14-2022 01:18:25:06
I pushed it. No. No. I it’s not going. Huh? The green one? Awe man. Now it’s blinking. Is it supposed to blink? JILL !! THROW THIS DAMN VOICE MEMO THING IN THE TRASH AND BRING A PEN AND PAPER.
Jen,
Great job so far. in keeping with the current Biden narrative, continue to blame Putin for every ill experienced in the USA
End of message.
XOXO
-TPTB
Good news! Your allocation of crack pipes and hallucinogens for next quarter are ready for pickup in Hunter’s office! Better get there fast!
“Just want to tell you good luck. We’re all counting on you.”
You’re doing a great job out there. If you need to find it we have your a$$ you’ve lied off in the office.
Re: your latest inquiry….
No. We have no idea what POTUS meant when he said that. We checked with POTUS – he also has no idea what he meant.
Keep fire extinguishers under the podium in case your pants burst into flames
From: Chief of staff
Please stop holding your nose and rolling your eyes when standing behind POTUS. We know already.
If a lie does more damage than the truth, lie. Then lie about the lie. Insult people’s mothers more.
If you want to be more trusted with our key demographic, transition to a woman, or create a new gender. Psisgenderer, or something equally hard to pin down.
Make your new catchphrase: A rascals gonna rascal if he don’t get his pudding, followed with a big wink.
No need to mouth the words “This tape will self destruct” at the end of briefings.
The IRS notified me you used “Spokesweasel” as your occupation on your tax return. Cute.
Do not admit to anything about extraterrestrial life. Don’t even say you will crop circle back.
When asked about the “high” gas prices, answer that Americans need to keep a more historic perspective on things. I mean, in two years they’ll all be wishing for $5 a gallon gasoline.
Jen…please be aware that voices carry and microphones can pick you up….yesterday saying…” well sh*t..it ‘s showtime already…here..hold my beer” does not show us in a positive light and is not a good way to enter…