Boy Scout Wakes to His Leg in Bear’s Jaws While Camping With Troop at NY State Park
NBC New York | May 24, 2022 | Ida Siegal“It moved my friend John, and then it moved me ― but instead of grabbing my sleeping bag it grabbed my leg and it bit me.”
[He was OK.]
Straight Line of the Day: If you wake up with your leg in a bear’s jaws…
Pray that it’s not 399. If you offend 399, you’ll be more hated than Amber.
Have good taste… don’t taste good.
Pour some honey on your friends.
…I would ask the bear “you want fries with that”?
If you wake up with your leg in a bear’s jaws…
You obviously went hiking with someone that could outrun you.
Point to the bear free zone sign and demand to be released.
Put your mask back on and humiliate the bear with accusations of racism.
Remember that it isn’t nice to kink-shame.
Ask if it would prefer a pic-a-nic basket.
…it’s time to stop using Buffalo sauce-scented lotion.
Frank’s, I put that $h!^ on everything!
If you wake up with your leg in a bear’s jaws…
…consider drinking less.
…you’re from Florida.
Nah, that’s if you wake up with your leg in a gator’s jaws.
The gator has the bear’s leg in its jaws.
…he’s going to ask for a glass of milk.
“If you’re around Chicago just tell him Ditka sucks and he’ll go away crying.”
… that was one heck of a party…
Make sure to apologize to the zookeepers…
If you wake up with your leg in a bear’s jaws…
Prepare to be used as toilet paper because you know what bears
do in the woods.
…tell him “Take the leg. Leave my canolli.”
… your lax campfire safety has Smokey going medieval on your ass.
If it’s a brown bear, fight back.
If it’s a black bear, fight back.
If it’s a grizzly bear, play dead.
If it’s a pink bear, tell him the guy in the next tent over is a bronie. Furries hate bronies.
White bears okay?
Not gonna lie. That’s a bit ursist.
I’m gonna push my leg in as far as it goes and yell, “You Like that? You Like That?”
I’ll probably regret it after I have some coffee and realize what I’ve done.
I’ll do the same thing I do every other time I wake up. Smack that thing till it’s quiet, groan, roll over, and go back to sleep.
Be glad it’s only your leg
If you wake up with your leg in a bear’s jaws…
time to sell your Condo.
I suggest…just grin and bear it..
Tell the bear you identify as a carrot and your pronouns are roasted/boiled..bears prefer meat, will acknowledge the mistake and leave on the next unicorn..
tell him to bite the other one, it has bells on it.