Last Orders: UK Pubs Brace for Mass Closures as Energy Costs Soar
Reuters via Financial Post | September 1, 2022 | Humza JilaniLONDON — Like thousands of pubs across Britain, the Red Lion and Sun fears financial ruin this winter as its energy costs surge, just as business was starting to recover from the fallow years of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Nestled in a leafy north London suburb, the pub’s annual energy bill is on course to more than quadruple this year to 65,000 pounds ($76,000) from 16,000 pounds, said James Cuthbertson, a director of The Frisco Group, which manages the pub along with two others in the capital and southeast England.
“We need to come up with an extra 50,000 pounds in profits each year, at the same time that profits are coming to a standstill as consumers see their own prices rise at home,” he said.
Stiff Upper Line of the Day: Say it ain’t so! If pubs close in the UK…
… people will speculate about just how much energy it takes to hoist a pint…
… a new organic fracking fluid will show up…
We will be happy to send them Biden/Harris as co prime ministers. Liquor sales should easily cover the added energy costs. In fact, they can have the Obama, Clinton and Pelosi families also. Paul Pelosi by himself should be able to cover the 50,000 pounds.
Harry will not visit again.
So there is an upside for England.
… folks will start showing up at the palace for a wee dram…
… Parliament will start putting in a full day, for a change…
Damn. A Parliament in session is much more dangerous than a Parliament out of session.
…they’ll just switch to Electric Pubs.
…They’ll just head to Ireland…
“Have you ever been into an Irishman’s shanty…
Where water is scarce and Whisky is plenty.”
…you could power the entire British electric grid just by harnessing the energy of Churchill spinning in his grave
… Secession talk will begin in Soho, Southhampton, and Sussex…
They’ll open right back up shortly after the the drunks flood out into the streets, unmuted by the gravy soaked public house walls.
Singing off key:
And all I’ve done for want of wit
To memory now I can’t recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be to you all
Time for them to sober up and get ready for the new green order.
Another obscure drinking song reference:
The Dun Cow won’t be the only establishment to “accidentally” catch fire…
No more faces glassed
For percieved insults
Grown-up men
Acting like adults
Less stomped on heads
For the spilling of the drink
Soho doorways
Less vomit, lesser stink
Drinking at home
Mates become wives
God Save The King on the telly
Good on ’em for taking our guns and knives
… all the suddenly sober Irishmen will be a Guinness World Record…
One- we should start knitting them sweaters and touques to help them out..
Two- send them some experienced Canadians that can show them how to drink outdoors. I personally could volunteer having trekked out on the ice at -42 below..using an ice auger to drill up some ice for the whisky..no mix because it freezes..limit out on pickeral then go home for fish and chips while none the worse for wear..
Three- give lessons on tailgating..
Four- remind them to never drink the cricket vodka, no matter how desperate you get..