BREAKING NEWS: Hillary Clinton placed in ambulance after post-caucus standoff

MALIBU, CALIFORNIA (AP): Hillary Clinton was placed into an ambulance at her home late Thursday after a post-caucus standoff that lasted nearly three hours.
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Aerial footage from KTLA-TV showed the former First Lady being lifted in a gurney into an ambulance. It was unclear where she was being taken. Police were called to the residence around 8 p.m., when neighbors reported breaking glass and screams of “But it’s my House damn it!” Anonymous sources are quoted as saying that at the time of the incident Clinton was under the influence of one of the most powerful narcotics known to man–self-delusion.
UPDATE: Comeback kid?

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I’m going to be getting a CCW permit (one of the few liberties secure in Minnesota), and I’m looking for suggestions concerning the type of weapon I should try out/purchase. I think I would prefer an ankle holster. I would prefer something discrete, though capable of taking down a reasonably motivated assailant with one or two shots. It would be nice if it also was a decent target practice weapon. I would not anticipate any need to quickly load and re-load. I would like a rock solid safety mechanism, though not too difficult to disengage when needed. What is your opinion?
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Guns don’t kill people–Koreans kill people.

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Reacting to the Virginia Tech massacre, The View co-host Rosie O’Donnell called on Americans to end their love affair with Koreans. “A Korean is responsible for the biggest murder spree in American history, therefore, to prevent the recurrence of similar crimes in the future, we must immediately ban all Koreans.” “At the very least,” proclaimed O’Donnell, “our leaders must pass legislation mandating the immediate utilization of safeguards that prevent Koreans from falling into the wrong hands and killing again.”
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Carnival of the Cats 158–April Fools Edition–Part I (because it’s too darn big to fit on one day)!

Laura Lee at The Wide Awake Cafe catches Sabby in the midst of a pornographic prank.
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Jams O’Donnell at The Poor Mouth presents one of the most highly anticipated sequels of the summer.
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Elisson at Blog d’Elisson presents a heart-warming picture of Matata with her new friend . . .
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. . . and Sammy turning this poor unsuspecting rodent to stone with her steely gaze . . .
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Marilynn presents a PSA at Momma Grace & Company.
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srp at Mélange presents the most anticipated event of the century.
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eucanthemum b at composite drawlings illustrates the hazards of playing with medical waste
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Debra at MANX MNEWS discusses the problem of pet abandonment.
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Blueberry at Texas Oasis presents a 10 gallon hat full of crazy.
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Barry Campbell at enrevanche prevents a deadly master of disguise.
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Cassie at Scribblings prsents the art of posting.
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JRolfe at Two Black Cats presents narcissus.
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howtoholdacat shows us how to bridgeacat.
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Ferdinand T. Cat at Conservative Cat rests after a long day at the call center.
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Wes Phillips of Stereophilia presents DJ Huckleberry.
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CM of Just Between Strangers presents Heaven’s Gate 2008.
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Rondi presents Ferals posted at Begin Each Day As If It Were on Purpose
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And . . .
Annie presents Friday Cat Blogging: Afternoon Sun posted at anniemiz.
Omnibus Driver presents Traveling Companions and Tummy Tuesdays at Lincoln State Cat Club.
K T Cat presents Playing It Safe posted at The Scratching Post.
Valerie presents Eil, Computer Techniques posted at Val’s Bien.
Rahel presents Cheeto, Close Up posted at Elms in the Yard.
Kimberly presents Feline Friday: Quality control posted at Music and Cats.
John Palmer presents Mysery, the Killer Cat posted at EclectEcon.
Sleeping Mommy presents Wayward Cat House posted at sleepingmommy.com.
Leigh-Ann presents The Blog Pound posted at The Blog Pound.
Mog presents Pet Food Fiasco , Dumb Cat, Cat In Flowers, Find The Kitty , and Meowza and me posted at iInfidel.
Susan presents Friday cat blogging posted at pages turned.
Babeth presents Pouncedaries shifting posted at House of Chaos
amanuensis presents Happy Anniversary, Darcy! posted at Catymology.
Sissy Willis presents “If you weren’t bright enough to do science, you could go into politics”, “If you weren’t bright enough to do science, you could go into politics”, and Getting in touch with our inner pussycat posted at sisu.
Come back here next Saturday to see the rest of the “fixed” entries!
Next week’s Carnival of the Cats will be at Bad Kitty Cats