original

Yahoo News

I didn’t think anything could make me long for Stevie Wonder night . . . until Diana Ross night.

Nudists sweat it out at Dutch gym. You can thank me later.
NOTE: It’s an AP article on Yahoo News, but it has one photo that is arguably NSFW.
P.S. From now on we’ll have “Naked Friday” Apolitical Cat Blogging.

SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico: Presidential candidate John Edwards, taking a page out of recent Oscar winner and Nobel Peace Prize finalist Al Gore’s playbook, announced a bold new environmental initiative Saturday. “I’m announcing today,” proclaimed an exuberant Edwards, “an initiative that will dramatically curtail the global warming crisis that affects each and every one of us.”
“Some of the worst polluters of our age are volcanoes,” stated Edwards, “which emit millions of tons of CO2 into the atmosphere each year without any regard for the impact such emissions have on the environment.” “Today I call on the nations of the world to put an end to these Hephaestian terrors, by permanently plugging them with gigantic corks manufactured with Fair Trade, Third World labor.”
“As an act of good faith, I have dedicated a small portion of my ambulance-chasing fortune to purchasing the Soufriere Hills volcano on the Caribbean island of Montserrat.” “I call on the U.N. Security Council to allocate funding to plug my volcano, sending a message to the entire asthenosphere that we will no longer tolerate its polluting ways.” “I call on you today to plug my flaming, gas emitting hole.”

. . . planted himself Tuesday to offset criticism of the carbon footprint created by excessive electrial usage at his Tennessee mansion.

. . .consequently, she will be late for her own funeral.

went home with parents

As you all know, the lovely and talented SarahK turned a corner early this morning–yes, the dreaded 30th birthday. We all looked the other way when she turned 29 last year, but letting her continue her reign into her 30s just seems sarcastic. Therefore, without further ado, I now officially open nominations for the IMAO T-Shirt Babe: Mach II!
So, ladies, you are probably asking yourself what you need to do to be the IMAO T-Shirt Babe, Mach II. First, be a babe (under 25 preferred-I don’t want to switch our babe again until well into the next Presidential administration). Second, have a photo taken displaying your babeness (extra credit for body shots). Third, to prove your babeness, write a short (200 words or less) hawkish statement (though, frankly, if you are blonde scorcher, skip the essay).
So spread the word, ring the bells, and notify the press; the contest has begun. Good luck to all participants, though only one will achieve the immortality that is being the IMAO T-Shirt Babe: Mach II.