Maybe, for more traffic, I need more reader interaction to act like I care about you people. So here is a question for everyone: What are some fun things to set on fire?
Here’s what I like buring:
* Action figures
* Things insured for more than they are currently worth
* Bridges
* Monkeys
* Fire wood
What do you like to set on fire?
WITCHES!!!!!!
Hippies,
except they may come under the classification of:Things insured for more than their worth…
Monkey-faced liberals.
When I punch them in the face, I use an asbestos-lined boxing glove that is covered in flaming tar.
Leg hair, bag lunches, “out of order” signs, stryofoam, narcotics.
Fuses.
my husband’s old socks.
I’m so hardcore I set fire on fire.
Didn’t we just spend several days toasting Mexicans?
My Hair! If given a choice between that and listening to “Herself” give one of those speeches in that nagging droning style of hers.
I slowly burn a fine Macanudo cigar, while sitting on my front porch, a beer at my side. Oh, and a bag of Black Cat firecrackers that I light with said cigar.
I also imagine that motorists who get in my way burst into flames and veer off into trees and 7-11s. Does that count?
Oh Ya! There’s always the ring the doorbell and leave the flamin’ bag O’ Poo thing.
By the way has anybody actually tried that in the last 30 years, or did that one go out of fashion shortly after pushing over outhouses. It’s sort of an old American tradition. I like those old American traditions and family values stuff.
Dinner, sometimes.
MORE witches!!!
San Franciscans; I guess that that’s probably covered under the monkey-faced liberals and hippies categories.
Also, like PaleoMedic, good cigars with a beer beside me.
I recently watched some Law Enforcement types, at the end of an unrelated training class, shoot a .50 BMG tracer round through the gas tank of an abandoned vehicle … no explosion (so Myth Busters was proven correct yet again) but it DID start the back end of the car on fire.
My son likes to set my house on fire for fun. Here is a song I recorded about the unfortunate series of events.
Middle Eastern countries. If they won’t catch fire, throw Vietnamese Buddhist monks on them.
-Ted Kennedy
-Taco Bell
-plastic army men (with magnifying glass and TNT)
-Rhode Island
-season 2 of Friends
-gifts from the in-laws
-non dairy creamer (really cool)
I like burning things and stuff.
Put me down with the burning hippies crowd. I did a post about it last week, lemme see if I can dig up the link….Aha, there it is.
link
Charcoal in my grill. (I need to get more cedar and maple planks)
Any weapon with a safety
Steel wool pads
Tiki torches for safety on my evening walk
The neighbor’s yard. Preferred method is through modified or homemade fireworks.
I hear that leftards catch fire pretty quick when you expose them to American flags, crosses, and the truth. Especially their females; they rarely shed genuine tears, as they can’t spare the moisture.
the fifa hq, soccer sucks
blunts
Oh, and ants. (I elfing hate ants!)
I’m a Republican, so “books”, mostly. Occasionally “free-thinkers”, but “books” is definitely number one.
WARNING! Be very careful when burning hippies. Always light the fire then stand well away from the smoke. If this warning is ignored and you find yourself wondering why you can smell the birds chirping and hear the pretty clouds or you just find that your eyes are unusually red and you’re agreeing with moonbats, seek immediate medical attention. You may need the kool-aid pumped from your stomach.
I just burn with lust for my sexy, sexy husband with the butt that just won’t quit!
“I love the smell of Napalm in the mornin'”
alcohol. rubbing or… not.
Wacky Hermit,
Maybe it’s me, but the phrase “butt that just won’t quit” just always sounds messy.
Communists, of course. They’re so greasy they light up on the first try almost every time.
Has anyone mentioned journalists yet?
One should have.
The English!
Cats.
I like to burn cartoons of Muhammed.
I haven’t been killed for doing it yet, but there’s still time.
Marshmallows and of course even more Witches, and wood and ducks that weigh the same as Witches. They turned me into a newt,….. but I got better.
I also like to burn copies of editorials by Molly Ivins and her ilk, as well as any copies of anything reference by the Daily Kos. What a Maroonbat.
I can’t believe no one has said “Farts.”
This being a humor site and all, how the heck can you people get by without A SINGLE FART JOKE??
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
small animals, liberals (monkey-faced or not), children (of any size), more liberals, jar jar binks, witches, people who aren’t conservatives, etc.
“How the heck can you people get by without A SINGLE FART JOKE?”
Hey, this is site for conservative humor. We don’t stoop to easy vulgarity. Take your fart jokes over to Daily KOS
Besides everyone knows conservative flatulence is nonflammable. Our sh*t is absolutely odorless too!
Neo-
Here I was thinking that the odorless or olfactory pleasant windbreaking was limited to the enlightened folks like the liberals who claim that “it’s impossible for minorities to be racist.” The last few times I recall, if it looks, smells, and sounds like a turd, then by golly, IT’S A TURD!
Besides all that, if you had dinner w/ me at “Los Betos” in ABQ, the whole idea of immaculate flatuation would go out the window (I would so desperately hope).
The Constitution.
Hey, I like to burn the Constitution too.
AlanABQ
Well darn, AlanABQ you have me there. Excrement does in fact, smell pretty much the same here.
You get that sort of comment when you really haven’t got anything to contribute, but feel compelled to say something anyway. You know the situation. Happens all the time.
Fart jokes are funny no matter what your political leaning is. Besides, I wouldn’t be caught dead at a cesspool like the dailykos (which doesn’t even deserve to be Capitalized). It smells like really old cheese and failed Democratic campaigns…
“The Constitution.
Posted by: John Mccain”
That’s not true! We all know he wipes his ass with it.
“a fine Macanudo cigar”
I’ve been meaning to try those. My last cigar was the Ashton Aged Maduro. It was great.