America officially welcomed it’s 300 millionth resident.
Today at 6:47 a.m. Juan Garcia was officially caught sneaking across the United States-Mexican border.
Mr. Garcia, speaking through an interpreter, had the following statement: “I was very worried at first when I saw the large gathering of American officials. I thought: Tthese guys are going to put me away for a whole hour and then they’ll let me go. This could potentially ruin my afternoon.”
Mr. Garcia, who holds a degree from the University of Guadalajara in Day Laboring, has visited the country before. “It is an honor to be America’s Number 300 Million. I hope this will help us open a dialogue between our countries and that President Bush will allow more guest workers into the country.”
As part of the America’s 300 Millionth Resident Ceremony, Mr. Garcia was awarded the Key To The City Of San Diego, a Certificate of Appreciation, and several gift certificates to the Foot Locker.
This looks suspiciously like the Juarez work release program
I do not have a problem with a little realistic amnesty, say if they have been here three years or more and completed at least one course towards citizenship. If not-then don’t let the screen door hit you!
No no no! Its wasnt San Diego that gave him a key to the city. It was the mayor of National City..that f***tard.
Chu eet our tacos, chu joke down our booritos, but you no juan to let us work here? Dat steenks gringo. Mebbee chu want to mow chur own laons, eh? Mebbe FrankJ can geet hees robots to pick the tomatos, the lettoos and de beans? Chure he weel. Whattabout Cinco de mayo doods? And our cerveza, Corona?
I celebrated the event with a couple of burritos. Oh boy, did I ever pay the price. I was up half the night with bloating and gas. Since I don’t drink anymore, that’s about as close to a hangover as I can get.
You gringos should not make fun of us, because we do all the jobs you Americans won’t do. For example, you Americans drive their cars with only one person inside. We try to protect the environment by driving with no less than ten people per vehicle. We even drive at half the speed limit to protect you. We generously open our car windows and share our childish polka music with you while we test our pneumatic shocks, also for your safety. We buy the carnitas at roach coaches because you’re afraid to. We buy all your surplus cowboy wear that you have been ignoring for the last thirty years. We are willing to wear those backpacks with the hose coming out of them, while you Americans only put books in them. We even speak that ugly Spanish language so you don’t have to. Don’t laugh, Canadians. You’re next!
Choo guyz need dibersity traineeng. Wat a buncha spigots choo are. Chame on choo.
lol, it was fun, BUT!!!!!!!!! I am angry with Manuel Labor that ****** because he said that spanish is an ugly language. Well little piece of ignorance, spanish is a beautiful language, I don’t care any other of these comments ypu said (they were fun) but do not joke about spanish language COÑO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Corona? That’s like watered down Budweiser, which is f****** close to water in the first place.
Manuel,
“childish polka music” – that is great!
And axethrower,
You clearly forgot the lime. Mexico’s ONLY true gift to society is Corona.
I don’t know, I still think warm thoughts about Mexico. Its first act as a country was to beat France.
I’m not sure where they went wrong since then, but that’s still a mighty fine start. Heck, our first act was to ally with France.
We got better though.
Isn’t saying that Corona is Mexico’s only gift to America equivalent to saying urine is the only gift a camel can offer an Arab? The only difference here is that camels bring their own water into the desert. Spanish is a beautiful language. My favorite word is “immigracion!” when shouted over a vehicle’s loudspeaker.