[conceptual hat tip: Dylan]
I know Obama prefers burgers, but I’m guessing that he ate a lot of Chinese food on his recent trip.
I also assume that Chinese Chinese food comes with a fortune cookie, just like American Chinese food.
Which leads to the obvious speculative query: what fortunes did Obama get in his fortune cookies?
I speculate thusly:
* You do good job! Take a bow!
- If you have bad news to break, leave town and let Holder guy do it.
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You look better wearing Mao jacket. Everyone look better wearing Mao jacket. Whole world wear Mao jacket soon!
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You will try something new – a terrorist in New York City.
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China cold like Chicago. Bring heavy coat.
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Save lives. Make Biden walk.
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Prosperity is coming. Just tax it until it go away.
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Why you let wife go out in public dressed like that?
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Today you meet friend from long ago. Tomorrow you throw him under bus.
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Seriously, where birth certificate?
If you’ve gone through Obama’s trash recently and found any of his old fortune cookie fortunes, feel free to share in the comments.
Help! I’m being held captive in a Chinese fortune cookie factory! Oh! Wait a minute….that was in my last fortune cookie.
* You no need stinking tereprompter. You stutter already fine.
* Why you say “I” with good news, “We” with bad?
* Do not bring your dog to China. Some people eat your dog.
* We confused. Is Perosi your wife? Or Hillrary? Or the Klingon?
* We no like Hillrary. Preosi smell. Klingon ugly. Go home now.
To you your ass handed over healthcare. No be sad.
Michelle monthly come soon. Run like hell.
* Why you spend so much our money you no have?
* We Hope you come again. We tell you what to Change, OK?
* Ok, we ready now. You shove “Hope and Change” in doodoo chamber.
Your life partner will to you to enjoy Gagh.
* Today is the best day of the rest of your life.
(Seriously, I got that once…) 8|
*You appoint fortune cookie Czar now.
*You give us America now for money you owe.
*not enough taxes declare new tax now.
*liberty bad, become communist.
*you steal FrankJ’s Doritos.
“Obama prefers burgers” – typo – boogers FTFY
Old Chinese proverb – never trust faux wanna be, basketball participant, joke – they dribble (down their leg) before they (prematurely) shoot.
Where’s the wook? We love better than puppies and kittens. Fatty, but tasty. Bacon helps.
Chinese have nicknamed honorable president – One Bows Low
You know, in China they just call it food.
* All your nuke are belong to Chairman.
* All your money are belong to Chairman.
* All your waffle are belong to Chairman.
* All your arugula are belong to Chairman.
‘Incompetence, sufficiently advanced, is indistingushable from malice.’
Lucky Numbers- 01/20/12
*Learn Chinese *Oh-Bah’-Mah = one term
THIS is the worst cookie fortune, or at least in the bottom ten.
I think that’s gotta be the thread winner.
Also, the picture of that fortune is priceless.
* You do good job! Take a bow… IN BED.
* If you have bad news to break, leave town and let Holder guy do it… IN BED.
* You look better wearing Mao jacket. Everyone look better wearing Mao jacket. Whole world wear Mao jacket soon… IN BED.
* You will try something new – a terrorist in New York City… IN BED.
* China cold like Chicago. Bring heavy coat… IN BED.
* Save lives. Make Biden walk… IN BED.
* Prosperity is coming. Just tax it until it go away… IN BED.
* Why you let wife go out in public dressed like that… IN BED.
* Today you meet friend from long ago. Tomorrow you throw him under bus… IN BED.
* Seriously, where birth certificate? IN BED?
* That was not chicken
* Stimulus have more pork than million eggroll
Communism bad. Been tried before, really suck.
“Its not them. Its you.”
“We take over world you look fortune cookie when need idea”
“Your daughters cute but you and wife ugly, you sure they yours?”
“If you believe Marxism you believe whatever i write too he he he he”
“I fortune cookie started global warming theory as joke”
“Me fortune writer actually American but grammer no good we was taught in government schools by Marxists union members and teh hippies”
“turn over”…”turn over” “turn over”…
“stop looking to me and fix your economy and by fix it i mean leave it alone it will fix itself”
“Remember when i told you pick Joe Biden… Gotcha HA-HA”
“I would say leave tip but its our money anyway”
“soon we own US then you be rice farmer with very low carbon footprint. ha ha ha”
“You will be a great dad, good husband, nice guy, and a shitty president”
“please dont eat the paper this time”
“what massive Chinese military buildup? You imagining things. Now, eat this cookie and fall fast asleep”
“What you looking at round eye 8) ?”
Communism is most painful path between Capitalism and Capitalism.
Your wife is a man.
You presidency bad like movie from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
You sound like priest in church with empty hat.
Soon you will “Paint the Town RED!”
Someday You Be Famous! (Maybe not today but to Mao!)
*you be rich with other peoples money.
* You wear bucket on head with great distinction.
*Learn Chinese *Oh-Bah’-Mah = one term
I did laugh long and loud. Thanks T_J.
YOU LIE!
Surrounding yourself with tax cheats and telling lies will make ears grow bigger!
*you reincarnate of Mao.
*you carl marx in past life.
*you write crappy book.
*watch for falling buckets.
* A sphincter say what?
* Why bow in Japan? WE own you!
* Wise man say…you punk bitch. Ha Ha Ha
*You rike Great Walr; Expensive to maintain, but functionary worthress
*Man who marry sasquatch must keep steady suppry of hairbalr medicine
*Seriousry? You expect me to front you a twenty for the mealr?
*Air Force One? Oh! We ship back in peices ratter. You take tramp steamer back to USA
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