Global Peace Index

The Global Peace Index has ranked the U.S. number 85 in peacefulness, behind Libya. I wonder if this has to do with all the times we’ve threatened to violently kill the people behind the Global Peace Index? If so, this is biased.

Also, I wonder if the people behind the Global Peace Index took care to distinguish violence from awesomeness. Like the lobby scene for the first Matrix movie: Is that violent? No, it’s awesome. And that’s what America is. If there was Awesome Index of countries — one that took into consideration the availability of guns and nachos in a country and how often people flip out and do cool stuff and other awesome things — the U.S. would easily be number one. Belgium would be last.

Actually, how does one make a committee a vote on stuff like this? I’m going to do that. I’m going to make the Global Awesomeness Index and annually rank countries on how awesome they are. Someone give me grant money.

Do it now!

18 Comments

  1. Honestly I’m afraid Israel would beat us on the awesome index. In fact, for 2009-2010 I think even France would beat us. Sarkozy was battling pirate ships off the coast of Africa while our POTUS was decommissioning our space program and bowing to world royalty.

  2. John Browning made 62 trips from Utah to Belgium, as they were manuufacturing most of his designs, including machineguns. Belgium still has the largest firearms manufacturing plant in the world. And the best waffles. Now these might be the only two things I know about Belgium, but they are both pretty dang awesome. Therefore Belgium can’t be last!

  3. If guns and nachos are the defining of a nation’s awesomeness, Mexico might be ahead. If judged on accomplishments, the USA is no.1. If judged on leadership, we are behind Darfur and Tehran. Tonga beats us in leadership. The little island nation has a weekly national feast in honor of it’s Christian king. Our king has nightly feast in honor of himself and doesn’t share.

  4. The global peace index should be the global weenie index. Most of europe is in front of the U.S. because, lets face it, they are weenies and they exist because we protect them at the expense of our place on the global peace index.

  5. They do one of these polls every few months, and they each boil down to, “Let’s Dump on America List.” I don’t care. No one is literally dying to get into Libya. The same is vastly not true of the United States. Take that as a vote, world. I fart in your general direction.

  6. based on a list of factors ranging from military expenditures (high is bad) and participation in United Nations peacekeeping (high is good), cognitive dissonance anyone? Or does UN Peacekeeping mean passing out flowers in airports?

    With Libya as my example for greatness (or at least the next step) rounding up all the Libs and executing them sounds like a path to World Peace.

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