Must! Understand!

I can’t stop thinking about that story I posted yesterday about the guy in Germany who mooned the Hell’s Angels, threw a puppy at them, and escaped on a bulldozer. The explanation that’s given is the guy stopped taking depression medication, but how do you get from “I’m feeling blue” to “I’m going to throw a puppy at a biker gang”? Is that mental illness or mental awesomeness?

The escape on the bulldozer part is less of a mystery. If you take it for granted you just mooned the Hell’s Angels and threw a puppy at them and there just happens to be a bulldozer waiting outside, what else are you going to do?

29 Comments

  1. The story says he caused a traffic jam because the bulldozer was only reaching 5K. He ditched it after about 1K.

    You should trademark “mental awesomeness.” It sounds like the catchphrase for an infomercial for a motivational program to overcome depression. “You will listen to Dr. Bob’s inspiring talks to guide you as you babystep your way from mental illness to mental awesomeness.”

  2. A couple of observations:
    1. I’m amazed that PETA is so slow in condeming this act.
    2. Thugs will be going into banks, taking hostages and yelling, “I get $1,000,000 and a bulldozer or the teller gets it with the eight week old Schnauzer!”.
    3. Congress will attempt to ban puppy ownership, but will fail because the right to own puppies is protected under the 2nd amendment.
    4. If I chucked a two month old Shar-Pei at Nancy Pelosi and it stuck to her face, would you be able to tell the difference between Pelosi’s face and the Shar-Pei?

  3. It was Unfair of him to moon perfectly innocent bikers. And it was very Unbalanced of him to think he could get away in a slow vehicle. And since he was off his medicine, he was clearly Unmedicated.

    Unfair. Unbalanced. Unmedicated. No wonder Frank can’t stop thinking about it.

    Do I get a prize for this?

  4. @#5 — If I chucked a two month old Shar-Pei at Nancy Pelosi and it stuck to her face,…

    You would be guilty of extreme cruelty to animals and you should have to give up meat for at least a month.

  5. I think the outcome of this is that the American Hell’s Angels should revoke the wussy German Hell’s Angels charter on the grounds that the guy is still alive by escaping on a bulldozer.

  6. I am more concerned about the puppy than the depressed man. I hope the Hell’s Angels caught him and gave him a good beating for hurling an innocent puppy at them and possibly hurting or killing it. He’s actions were premeditated with a get away vehicle outside so how disoriented could he be? Hell’s Angels may be tough and mean when it comes to people but they are known animal lovers. I hope they caught his sorry ass, depressed or not.

  7. Maybe we don’t understand German euphemisms… I use “can’t swing a dead cat” all the time. As in, “You can’t swing a dead cat in Berkeley without hitting a hippie.” Perhaps some right-wing German radio talk show host used the common euphemism: “You can’t throw a puppy at a Biker Gang without escaping on a bulldozer.”, and, of course, it incited this guy to do it.

  8. Unfair. Unbalanced. Unmedicated. No wonder Frank can’t stop thinking about it.

    Do I get a prize for this?

    Why yes, yes you do. Do you want to move into Frank’s padded cell or the other way around?

  9. There appears to be lots that we (vee) don’t understand about the (zee) Germans. It’s a lesser question, but who was (vas) it that picked up this guy when (ven) he “hitchhiked” home (zu haus gegangen)?

    My best guess is that the Germans have finally perfected their ABEM (Air Burst Ecstasy Munition). What else explains the happy Hells Angels, the happy motorists (happy enough not to strangle a bull dozer driver), and the happy hitchhiker picker upper? These are not the gerries my grandfather fought, not that my grandfather fought any gerries.

  10. Thanks, Burma, I could never tell whether it was “zu Haus” or “nach Haus”.

    I hated learning German in high school. Why should I have to learn the ways of foreigners if I’m not planning a one-man campaign to infiltrate and destroy them?

  11. Marko, that’s rich. I bet it is actually “nach haus.” I totally forgot that pain. On the other hand, I can still reel off the prepositions: aus bei mei mit nach seit von zu. I can’t remember why this list is important except that it had something to do with case.

  12. I don’t care why he did it. All that matters to me is that he did it. I try to take these little gifts in life without explanations, it’s so much more fun that way. I’m also a fan of the Darwin Awards so as you can see my sense of humor is somewhat askew. Kind of explains why I’m here, posting doesn’t it.

  13. Burma, as I recall, my final grade in a German class was a B. The key to American education, as I see it, is to take notes so it won’t matter if you’ve forgotten everything.

    Ich weiß nicht eine Deutsche Präposition aus einer Zecke Gesäß.

  14. It’s not that odd when you sit back and realize that you could easily picture any elected democrat doing the exact same thing.

    If, after being asked a question on the street by a student, Bob Etheridge had thrown a puppy at the student then rode off on a bulldozer, would it have really been any more bizarre?

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