I don’t understand it, Commissioner. Four super villans who spent the last five years in solitary confinement have escaped, and we have no idea what their plan is?
That is what is so confounding about this, Batman. One day, they were all safely locked away. The next, poof! They’re gone and we don’t know why!
With all four on the loose, the whole world is in danger.
That’s what worries me, Chum: the unknown. Rarely does the unknown turn out well.
Meanwhile, at the villans’ secret underground headquarters…
It’s been a long five years, but our henchmen pulled off the escape.
And, if they did what we laid out before that Dynamic Duo put us away, we’re ready to begin our Ultimate Plan.
Plus, since we’ve been away for so long, there’s no way they’ll connect the plan to us. Until it’s too late!
It’s an election year, and our stooge in Tennessee should be set to run for governor.
And the stooge in South Carolina should be in position to run for Senator.
And, once people have accepted them, we’ll find a stooge to run for … dare I say it … president!
The bar for public office will be so low in the U.S. — and since other countries will follow — we’ll have leaders in every country in the world! It’s genius! Genius, I tell you!
Wait! What’s this? Our plan has been sabotaged!
What do you mean, Penguin?
According to this internets machine, while we were away, something unexpected happened. The American people have already put a moron in the White House! You remember that community organizer idiot in Chicago?
Barack Obama is now president? Without morons accepted at the state level, how did the American public ever come to accept someone that stupid at the national level?
I am confused. How does this hurt our plan?
Isn’t it obvious? Without a bunch of idiots in place at the state level, not everyone will automatically accept an idiot at the national level. He will not be able to hold on to his job! And then the other nations won’t fall in line. The people will see right through our master plan!
We have an idiot in the White House, though. Sure, he’s a bigger idiot than they guy we had in mind. But isn’t that something?
I don’t know. I just don’t know. It means that the American people are a lot more stupid than we ever thought. I’m not sure if I want to rule them if they’ll so willingly go along with idiots like that.
What do we do, then?
Turn ourselves back in. Within a couple of years, the U.S. will be back on track, a lot smarter from the experience. That will be a country worth taking over.
Hello, Batman? Joker here.
Joker! Why would a villan such as yourself be calling me? What evil scheme are you hatching?
Nothing, Batman, I assure you. Catwoman, Riddler, Penguin, and I wish to turn ourselves in.
What’s your game, Joker?
No game, Batman. We just realize we were a lot safer in prison … than you are out here.
These may be the best posts on IMAO.
No Batman, no! That’s not the real Commissioner, that’s Charlie Christ! Get out of there quick!
Bravo Basil!
The Penguins ‘Internets machine’ cracked me up!
I wish I could make a really good “Holy _____, Batman” joke here, but I’ve got nothing.
Robin: Holy Homeland Security Breach! Is that the Homeland Security Threat Warning system behind where Cat Woman is stretching her legs?
Batman: Yes, Robin, it’s just as I suspected. Janet Napolitano is a robot.
Commissioner Gordon: It could be any one of them… But which one? Which ones?
Batman: Pretty *fishy* what happened to me on that ladder…
Commissioner Gordon: You mean where there’s a fish there could be a penguin?
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea… Sea. C for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet, an exploding shark was pulling my leg…
Commissioner Gordon: Pulling your leg…the Joker!
Chief O’Hara: All adds up to a sinister riddle… Riddle-R. Riddler!
Commissioner Gordon: A thought strikes me… So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance…
Batman: The four of them… Their forces combined…
Robin: Holy nightmare
Batman: “Quick Robin, to the Batmobile!”
Alfred: “Sorry sir, the EPA impounded it yesterday.”
Robin: “Holy &#%@, Batman!”
Batman: [reading a riddle] What has yellow skin and writes?
Robin: A ball-point banana!
Batman: [reads the second riddle] What people are always in a hurry?
Robin: Rushing people… Russians!
Batman: So this means…
Robin: Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana and break their neck!
Batman: Precisely, Robin!
Steady…Robin…old…chum…
Catwoman: Marry me, Batman!
Batman: But what about Robin?
Basil,
There’s no way this could ever happen today. Obama would have long ago filed a lawsuit against Batman to keep him from stopping crime.
Free Catwoman !!!
One of basil’s very best.
Holy dumbass in the Oval Office, Batman !!!!
Quick, Robin !! Get the Bat-Bogus-Birth-Certificate finder !!!
Go for the Bat-Anti-Marxist spray!!!
Loved It! Great! Unfortunately, Republicans aren’t any better. This time, vote Libertarian!
[Libertarian? Really? Frank had a good take on that back in June.
And saying the Republicans aren’t any better than the Democrats? That’s just crazy talk. GOP isn’t what it should be. But it’s not run by a bunch of socialists and is a darn sight better than the Democrats. And that matters. – B.]
Batman: you have to be objective BatBoy. Libertarianism is the future!
If Ayn Rand was still with us she would lead us to new America based upon Objectivism and the teachings of the Great Libertarian prophet Ron Paul
Robin: ..but Batman Ann Rand is the main source for the Satanic philosophy as outlined in The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey. Lavey even said so! Everyone knows this!!
Batman: No say its not so BatBoy! Ayn Rand’s Libertarian Objectivism is not Satanic…. Is it?
Robin: Most believe that Satanists sacrifice babies, worship the earth, perform strange rituals, and cast evil spells. But that is the Hollywood version of Satanism. In reality the people who so those things are the Liberals and their religion is Liberalism. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying that Satanism is good. It’s just not as bad as Liberalism. Liberals are far worse than Satanists ever dreamed of being.
Ayn Rand’s Objectivist Libertarian Philosophy is right in the middle between Liberalism and Satanism where the the Alters of Freedom and Liberty are just an excuse to dismiss all Christian Morality. Thats why Libertarians worship freedom, liberty and the founding fathers, not God.
Batman: Holy Bat Boobs! We gotta let the public know that Libertarians and Liberals are even worse than Satanists… To the Bat Mobile…
Yes, Ayn Rand did such a good job of leading while she lived… she can only improve with worms, right?
The way to fix the R party is.. abandon it? Yes, of course… and your 600 votes will TROUNCE them!
I enjoyed Ayn Rand’s ‘Atlas Shrugged’, but I admit that John Galt’s 3 hour, 56 page speech to the nation (pages 923 to 979) was littered with slams against religion.
Which means, from my ‘Jesus Christ is Lord’ point of view, that his humanist capitalist utopia would be as ultimately doomed as any social justice nanny state, or atheistic socialist utopia currently in the works.
Perhaps Millers ‘Dark Knight Returns’ plan, in which Batman comes out of retirement to organize the street gangs of Gotham into a unstoppable army of vigilante justice deserves another look?
“Joker, I always knew there was nothing wrong with you I couldn’t fix with my hands!” (Snap!)
holy crap, i read it in their voices, low audio quality cracking and popping too!
except the riddler…i dont remember what he sounds like.
on ayn rand; she was very anti religion, to the point that she claimed it to be impossible to be an objectivist without being atheist, but her political points made were not less relevant, and i can sympathize to an extent, i want freedom of religion, but religion needs to be for the individual, if something in your religion is immoral (like having protected sex) you can practice it all you want, but dont try and push it on me, as if i actually need your religion. i can see how some people might think that as a result of these practices, the religious are somehow opposed to individual freedom (because they want you to conform to their beliefs) but in most cases, its simply not true (“most cases” doesnt include scientology)
in a way, religion is good for everyone though. as albert einstein said, remove the deities and prophets from the jewish and christian holy books, and you have the blueprint for a world in peace. religions are not without their good lessons, and i welcome good philosophy into the world. its just annoying when people are raised to believe that its their duty to convert you to whatever, when im much happier believing god isnt watching me touch myself, and killing kittens as retaliation, just seems like he would have better things to do.