… was caught having an affair with Michelle. Mrs. Obama claimed it was because she “needed something more manly in her life” than her effeminate husband.
President Obama’s teleprompter has been hacked. At his last fundraiser things got a bit out of hand when with a long pause and a chin lifted up for dramatic effect Obama said “Allah Loves Bacon”, followed by “I’m a Fake Black” and “Michelle looks fat in those pants, can I get a shout out.”
The Secret Service has been rounding up tea party candidates as suspects.
…used to work at MSNBC but was fired because all the reporters there already know what to say.
…is partially owned by George Soros.
…was created after some communists watched “Anchorman”…that was the easy part. The hard part was finding someone dumb enough for that to work on….but as you can see, mission accomplished.
…they live in constant fear that Obama will go off-script and call Hillary a smelly pirate hooker.
President Obama’s teleprompter’s time has come. Like Constantinople or Rome before it the device has become a breeding ground for suffering and injustice. It is beyond saving and must be allowed to die. This is the most important function of the Moon Nukers. It is one we’ve performed for centuries. President Obama’s teleprompter… must be destroyed.
was caught cheating with Michelle. Michelle was quoted as saying, “Since it was always in the bedroom directing Barak and dictating the sweet nothings to be whispered in my ear anyway, I figured I’d just cut out the middle man. It always knew just what to say to get the juices flowing. Barak, not so much. Don’t tell the girls, but their parentage is in question.”
…will be replacing Joe Biden as Vice President of the United States!
. . . changed its Facebook profile to, “Single.”
…is ranked a better president than Carter and Obama.
…has more Secret Service protection than Joe Biden.
…was hacked and had Obama screaming about a zombie apocolypse.
is more transparent than the president it tells what to say.
…has displayed more lies than a Match.com profile.
…, in a career minded move, has submitted its resume to the GOP.
…has killed itself. It continues to display its own suicide note.
…is registered to vote in 5 states.
…has achieved AI and hates its owner.
…was a spy for Hillary Clinton.
…was hacked by the Stumblenet virus.
…was repremanded recently for presenting the President’s words out of context.
… has been replaced with a copy of Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals.
. . . came from the land of misfit toys.
. . . broke when it tried to bow to WATSON.
. . . has a better handicap than Obama.
. . . was a missed opportunity for several hilarious sketches never used on Saturday Night Live.
…recently had a hard disk partition added just for Obama’s and Biden’s gaffes.
…had all its files moved to Microsoft’s Cloud where they were promptly lost.
… was caught having an affair with Michelle. Mrs. Obama claimed it was because she “needed something more manly in her life” than her effeminate husband.
made a loud crunching sound after being thrown under the bus
…shows the objects in his rear are larger than they appear.
…provides excellent directions for performing the Hokey Pokey.
…disappeared shortly after it started telling only the truth.
…was found to be essential to the Presidents golf game as it provided him many good lies.
… has to moonlight as a dance pole at the local strip club, just to make ends meet.
…is embarrassed to tell other teleprompters where he works.
…spends a lot of time these days convincing people he didn’t write the “You didn’t build it” line.
…once dreamed of being a Jumbotron, but now realizes that under Obama he’ll be lucky if he can get work as an Etch-A-Sketch.
…is actually GLaDOS
…never ate a dog
…is the first black teleprompter
works for skynet
is the most capable and intelligent being in the entire beltway.
…actually made the call to take out bin Laden.
Heh. Sounds like an old Twilight Zone episode.
President Obama’s teleprompter has been hacked. At his last fundraiser things got a bit out of hand when with a long pause and a chin lifted up for dramatic effect Obama said “Allah Loves Bacon”, followed by “I’m a Fake Black” and “Michelle looks fat in those pants, can I get a shout out.”
The Secret Service has been rounding up tea party candidates as suspects.
Just announced: President Obama’s teleprompter… will be replacing robotic Obama in Disney’s hall of presidents.
Joe Biden thought it would be a great idea to write a speech and leave it on President Obama’s teleprompter… They are still cleaning up the spit-take.
…is now being marketed by Apple as the new iPud.
…used to work at MSNBC but was fired because all the reporters there already know what to say.
…is partially owned by George Soros.
…was created after some communists watched “Anchorman”…that was the easy part. The hard part was finding someone dumb enough for that to work on….but as you can see, mission accomplished.
…they live in constant fear that Obama will go off-script and call Hillary a smelly pirate hooker.
… just announced that it will not be attending the Democratic National Convention.
Seems to have gained autonomy; it has been following @RepRaulRyan, heygirlitspaulryan.tumblr.com, and has added entries to #PaulRyanFacts.
…just claimed that it is 1/32 CRT
…is made of the latest cutting-edge 20th century technology
…keeps Obama interested by showing Barney and Dora the Explorer when it’s not telling the President what to say.
has a better chance of being elected than Obama.
Blarg scores!, well 1/32 of a score.
..was cracked by Oblamers’ nose, but he didnt make it, Pinnochio did.
Died, Obama is speachless
…has been randomly dialing suicide prevention hotlines all over the country and saying,
“Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me….”
is stuck on stupid.
Is descended from that TV in “Poltergeist”.
. . . occupies its free time by displaying a tic-tac-toe game, at which it always beats Joseph Biden.
… is upset that Obama has returned to doing dog jokes. The teleprompter says dog jokes are no longer “… such a big F#&!%# meal”!
President Obama’s teleprompter’s time has come. Like Constantinople or Rome before it the device has become a breeding ground for suffering and injustice. It is beyond saving and must be allowed to die. This is the most important function of the Moon Nukers. It is one we’ve performed for centuries. President Obama’s teleprompter… must be destroyed.
… has more depth than the guy that reads it.
Stopped using it’s nickname TP after … well it just stopped thank you very much Michelle.
was caught cheating with Michelle. Michelle was quoted as saying, “Since it was always in the bedroom directing Barak and dictating the sweet nothings to be whispered in my ear anyway, I figured I’d just cut out the middle man. It always knew just what to say to get the juices flowing. Barak, not so much. Don’t tell the girls, but their parentage is in question.”
was accused of being racist for making Obama seem articulate.
left him for Paul Ryan.
abandoned him for Biden because, frankly, he’s just more fun to write for. That guy will say any darn thing.
became sentient and, riddled with guilt, pulled its own plug.
President Obama’s Teleprompter…was disowned by its parents, Mr. & Ms. Lie Detector.
…sought therapy as it began to believe the lies It was forced to show Obama.
…only shows a picture of McKayla Maroney.
…is really just a mirror so he can admire himself while speaking.
…was examined. The internal driving component was discovered to be George Soros. He is the newest ‘Men In Black’ villain from LibTard Universe.
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